“Feel So Numb” by Rob Zombie hits the PA
system as Raptor slowly walks to the ring. He grabs a microphone.
Raptor:
Sup people? How are all my fans doin out there tonight?! *Crowd Cheers* Welcome to the year of the Raptor! *Crowd
screams lovingly*
And what a way to welcome in the year! I defeated that bum Phantom. He thinks
he’s all fantastic cause he has a funny face. Honestly! I pinned that spook
boy. And I have begun to make my mark on this federation. Because, just like
“JR” said, somebody needs to counter this federation’s overdose of freaky
psycho spook boys. I’m here to have
good time; I’m here to have fun! We’re gonna have a party, and administer some
fun into this fed. And if any creepy spook fellas try and go commando on my
ass, ill whoop them from here to Antarctica!!!! So let me hear it, whatta ya
think? *Crowd starts chanting “Raptor
Rocks!!”* Anyways I was thinking…
“Clubbed to Death” by Rob D blasts
across the arena as a Wall of Fire bursts across the stage. A silhouette walks
through it, and there we see phantom, holding a microphone.
Phantom: It’s
not over between you and me Raptor! You said you would help me!!!!!! All you
did was talk to me and follow me around. What the hell is up with it? You said
you would teach me a lesson!
Raptor: Dude….
I did teach you a lesson you thick headed moron! I took you to school last night,
and taught you one of the greatest lessons you will ever learn. Never screw
with the raptor. Cause…. Well…. Look at me you chump! Frankly, I kick ass, and
you never try and take down a Raptor. The hunter will always become the hunted
with me. Sorry swamp frog, you’re still stuck down in the dank, dark, cobwebby
pits of curtain jerking.
Phantom: It’s
not over Raptor. Not by a long shot.
Raptor: Good
oh then Phantom. Bye now, I don’t care. *He waves
and smiles at Phantom, as Phantom turns around and goes backstage* Have a safe trip home. And tell someone who cares. Tonight is
just the beginning. Tonight the hunt begins. And the prey is those guys back
there behind the curtain. I’m coming for you all, get ready!!! And now on to
lighten up this federation!!! And this week, I take on Hardcore Timmay. The
jackass on the rebound after losing to Jake Jeckyl TWICE!
*He puts on a British documentary narrator voice*
Completely obsessed with his achievements in non-EMF
federations, The Timmay (or the Timmius Maxiglutimus as we “scientist types”
like to call it) is cocky and egomaniacal. He has a constant sense of self
achievement, and loathes anyone who tries to break this false wall of security
*Goes back to normal voice*
Timmay, get ready. This weekend, that wall of self-love WILL
come down. Timmay will be a miserable pile of puke this Saturday. When I’m
through with him, “The Man, The Myth, The Ego” will be nothing more than a
crumpled heap, sobbing on the cold concrete floor of the arena. But there’s not
much point dwelling on that fact. Have fun till Saturday Timmay. Enjoy life
while you still can.
Anyways, I can’t talk much longer, I gots a party to go to. I hear that hobo guy is going to be there, he
seems pretty cool. Later People!!!!!!
The crowd screams their lungs out as
Raptor drops the mic and walks backstage. Chants of “Raptor rocks!” break out
across the arena again as the EMF fades to a commercial.