Upcoming Match |
Other People Used |
People Mentioned |
Titles Held |
Record |
Def Metal vs Raptor |
The wWo |
Scott
Mann, Def Metal, the BWO, Ashlee
|
Extreme (1) Attitude World (1) |
6-3-0 |
Role-play Background:
wWo
Lockdown… Those two words will forever be linked with Raptor, and it will
forever be seen as the Pay Per View that elevated him and the wWo to a new
level. After being screwed by Primetime and his nWo goons, Raptor wasn’t too
happy, because, after all, he did screw him out of being a 2 time Extreme
Champ. But none of that really matters, because now, Raptor is the Attitude
World Champ. In the Main Event of wWo lockdown, the wWo finally rid the EMF of
those Melrose-Place loving gimps the BWO, and had begun a new era in the EMF.
And what an era that would have been, had it not been for the timely
interference of those lockdown stealing bastards the nWo. They even stole our
picture spray painting ideas!!!! Grrr!!!! Oh well. For the moment, the wWo are
on top of the world, with Wasabi and Raptor as the two EMF world champions, the
wWo can truly be called the most powerful stable in the EMF- A stable to go
down in the record books.
Our
scene opens with an image of the beautiful streets of Melbourne, Australia.
There are gum trees, and kangaroos, bouncing down the street… Wait. That isn’t
real, I’m Australian, and I’ve only even seen Kangaroos in the zoo... Fucking
Steve Irwin!!! I HATE THE GOD DAMN CROCODILE HUNTER!!!! Sorry, back to the promo.
The camera eventually spots Raptor and Hobo, walking down the street, in a
suspicious manner. Hobo has paper or something in his hand, and Raptor has a
backpack. Raptor spots Steve Irwin, and walks over to beat the hell out of him
with a sledgehammer, then returns, to continue the promo, still scouring the
streets for something. The camera man edges closer and closer to the pair, and
it seems they are in a heated discussion. Hobo looks exhausted, while Raptor
still seems eager to keep going…
Hobo: Well
man, we’ve been searching all day… I don’t know if we’ll find it…
Raptor: Man,
this is my hometown, we’ll find it, don’t you worry…
Hobo: How
do you know if it’s still here? It’s been nearly a week since-
Raptor: Trust
me, they’re still here…
Hobo: Wait…
Is that it?
Raptor: I
dunno man, here, give us a look at the picture-
Hobo: Aww
man, I think we’ve hit the jackpot!!! Ha HA!
Raptor: Yes!
Oh yeah, that’s it for sure… Look, same number plate as the one at the arena
and all…
Raptor
and Hobo let out a little chuckle of anticipation as the camera pans around
Raptors shoulder, and there, we see, on the paper, a big picture of a Red
Camaro. Above the picture, we spot the same Red Camaro, in real life this time,
parked on the left side of the street (Australia, Remember… Def Metal has two
Camaros, obviously… Or he got his right hand drive converted, which can be very
expensive) Raptor proceeds to look straight into the camera, as Hobo starts
rummaging through the bag…
Raptor: Ahh!
Def Metal- Though I’ve never actually met you before, I’ve heard a lot about
you. And I’ve been watching a tape of your two matches you’ve had. Two… Classy,
Def… Two damn matches… Aww, and people call ME a rookie… Well, those people can
go fuck ‘emselves, cause, here I am, more experienced than the not-so-legendary
Def Metal! If there is one thing I’ve learnt over the months I’ve been here in
the EMF, it’s this… Never ever show your weakness, on international television,
for the world to see… Including your opponent for the weekend. Hobo, pass the
wire cutters please?
Hobo: What
is this, the 3rd car you’ve wrecked in the last 2 weeks? (Smashes
a window, as a car alarm goes off, and everyone in the street stares at them)
Raptor: (Shouting
to the by-standers) IT’S OKAY! WE’RE PROFFESIONAL
WRESTLERS!!!
Everyone
“aaahhhs” as they realize that, professional wrestlers can get away with as much
private property damage as they like, because hey, Pro Wrestlers are above the
law. Raptor then continues wrecking the car by smashing the rear left
indicator, as Hobo rips out the car alarm and throws it in a near-by café…
Hobo: So
man, you still haven’t answered my question…
Raptor: And
what question was that, my car-wrecking partner in crime?
Hobo: Hold
on… I’m prying this door open… (Hobo’s face is
contorting as he tries to pull the car door off with his fingernails) Pass
the crowbar, will you? Anyway, isn’t this like the 3rd car you’ve wrecked in
the last week?
Raptor: 4th,
if you include the car I crashed while drink driving after lockdown… Listen,
don’t bother with the crowbar, watch, I am the master when it comes to doors (Proceeds
to kick the car door down)
Hobo: You
know, maybe Rachel wouldn’t be in hospital if it weren’t for you and you’re
alcoholism…
Raptor: Rachel
is in hospital? Shows you how much I’ve been paying attention. (Picks
up the sledgehammer and smashes the windscreen) Okay
Hobo, I think we’re pretty done here… What do you think??
Hobo: Ahh,
needs a little branding, pass the spraypaint, will you?
Raptor: You
see Def, when you broadcast these weaknesses for everyone to see, it’s
practically asking, no… Begging, for someone to take advantage of it. And, you
obviously love your “Classic Def Metal” Camaro. So tell me, Mr. Metal… How do
you love your Camaro now???
Raptor
and Hobo shake hands, take some CDs and a Mobile Phone out of the car, and walk
off, laughing. The camera pulls back, and we see a shot of the trashed Camaro,
covered in dints, with smashed windows, a door fallen off, and spray painted on
the side “wWo- the EMF is ours”
Later
that day
We
see Raptor and Hobo sitting at a riverside café, chatting over a cappuccino,
about the many topics that involve them, from Lockdown, to hobo’s immense bank
account, to Raptor’s really lame jokes with crappy punch lines…
Raptor: …so
anyway, I said to this guy, listen, back off, you stupid oompa loompa!!!
Hobo: Haha!
That’s the way son! (Suddenly, we hear a ringing noise…)
Raptor: Hey,
is that yours?
Hobo: Hey?
No! I don’t have a mobile… Wait! Deaf Metal’s phone!!!
Hobo: Hello,
Deaf Metal’s phone?
……..
Wasabi? How did you get
this number??? How did you know I had his phone?
……..
Oh, the camera man,
right… I’m on TV now? Ha! (He waves to the
camera, and mouths “Hi Mom!!!” excitedly)
….
Huh? He’s promoing
right now? No? It’s a replay? Ok… Raptor and I will be here in a couple of
seconds.
Hobo: Okay,
that was Wasabi. Supposedly, they just showed a replay of a promo Def Metal and
Scott Mann from right after Lockdown, so lets go!!!
Raptor: Aww,
can’t miss this, the first Def Metal promo since… Since… When was the last time
Def Metal was around here?
Hobo: Meh,
who cares? Sometime before the middle ages, obviously. Come on, let’s go!
They
run off, making a “whoosh” sound like the Hurricane.
Later
that day, we see the wWo, sitting in Hobo’s Australian Holiday Mansion,
complete with kangaroos and koalas, just after Raptor has finished watching Def
Metal and Scott Mann’s Motherf*cking antics and his Motherf*cking promo…
Raptor: He
he he… Scott Mann has the funniest little snicker! It reminds me a lot of my
grandma…
Wasabi:
It reminds me of you after Lockdown… Man, you were completely off your face!!!
Toby: What,
from that nasty nWo chairshot?
Wasabi: No
you big dope! From the tequila we had at the after party!
Toby: Aww
man, I tell you, he was puking his guts out all night after that one…
Raptor: Ha!
So were you, you little alcoholic!!!!
Toby: Yeah
well, that’s cause I had the flu… Honest! That’s also why I lost to Kiel… No,
seriously, I did!!!
Wasabi: Ha,
yeah, whatever Tobes!!! Anyway, Rap… Do you mind if I call you Rap? Of course
not. Whatcha gonna do aboot this Deaf dude? As he said himself, he’s one
“Hardcore Motherf*cker”
Raptor: Um…
Is it just me, or does being a motherf*cker not make you hardcore??? It just
makes you an inbreeder… Can I ask you, Def, are you from Texas?
I noticed you liked
to criticize about my career record… How this’ll probably be the highest moment
in my career, how I’ll soon fade away to the never remembered section of EMF
history… Well, you may think that the only high point in my career is this, but
can I ask you, have you had a career high point at ALL? I look at your all time
record, and I see 2 wins. And that’s IT! That’s IT?! How the hell does that
even count as a career? Scott, you say you’re after this title… My EMF Attitude
World championship-
Toby: Hang
on there, big guy… Before you keep rambling, there’s something I’ve been dying
to say- Scott… TAW IS DEAD!!!! GET OVER IT!!!!
Raptor: Exactly.
TAW this, TAW that. TAW is gone. Kaput. History. And we just destroyed the last
remnants of it- The BWO. It’s not like
me to quote Ashlee, but for once, something decent came out of her air-head.
And I quote… “But, TAW is over Tony, we've got to move forward”
Replace Tony with Scott and you’ll be set. The federation you once knew and
loved is gone, Scott Mann. And this title… *He pats his
EMF Attitude Championship belt* this title has
nothing to do with TAW any more. It’s called the EMF Attitude World title, not
the “EMF but Former-TAW World Title”. TAW is just a fading memory in that mind
of yours, Scott. TAW has left, it’s dead and buried. And it seems to me you are
still mourning. You still seem to be upset that the once great federation you
led has gone down the drain. You’re gonna have to deal with it, Mann.
Wasabi: The
guy has some emotional baggage.
Raptor: It’s
over, Scott. Move on. Get over it!
Toby: Speaking
of getting over stuff, get over talking aboot the death of the TAW!!! You’ve
already rambled aboot it for 20 whole minutes…
Raptor: Right.
Well, let me put it this way. I don’t care what damn match we have… A “deep
freeze match? A “hell frozen over match”? Hell, it could even be a “Mr-Whippy”
match! Whatever damn stipulation we have, you and me are gonna have one hell of
a match, Metal…
Then there’s the
topic of you two little buddies and your GAW. Grade A wrestlers!!!(He
gives a sarcastic thumbs up to the camera)
What are you, straight out of school??? Great name guys, I give you guys an F
minus. Letter grades are for high school, boys, not for grown ups!
Toby: Got
a problem with High School Boys?
Raptor: Y
s. But not you, you’re my son. But back to the topic at hand, and that’s our
good ol’ rookie here, Def Metal. Now, I could play the rookie angle. I could go
on aboot how you’ve only had 2 matches, and 1 of them belonged in the back of
Mr. Freezie’s warehouse, and the other? Forgotten, you say I will one day be.
But I won’t be forgotten, Metal, not by e a long shot. Let me tell you this…
Who sounds more memorable, one of the warriors who put the BWO out of business,
or a man who’s had a whole 2 matches? Go figure, Metal. And you say “Hell Frozen
Over” is your best styled match? Right? Tell me, how the hell would you know,
it’s basically the only damn match you’ve ever been in. Please!? You recall your last EMF run as a
Rampage? 2 matches isn’t a rampage, it’s a part time job! It’s the shortest EMF
run I’ve ever heard of. You think you can claim the EMF attitude world title
after 2 matches? Good luck, even the legendary AN ARKIE didn’t have his hopes
that high.
Wasabi: But
hey, wait a sec. There’s something I need to say to this dude too. The whole
Raptor being the head clown thing? Make sure you’ve got your facts straight,
it’s not called Wasabi World Order because Raptor is the head! Duh, who’s a
fucking moron?
Toby: Apart
from you? Probably AN ARKIE and maybe, for the sake of this promo, Def Metal.
Wasabi: Thanks
Tobes- My point exactly. Unless you get it right, you look like a dickhead!
Raptor: Wasabi,
go away, this is my promo, not yours. You’re such a hog, Mr. World champ. But
anyway, the fact is this, Def, I am ready for something different. Like you
said- you are different, an individual. And that’s a skill that is heavily
involved when it comes to a job like ours- Adapting to different styles. It’s
what I do best… But like you, I am individual myself. And you’ll have to adjust
to styles. I’m sure you’ll adapt fine. But what if I change styles mid match?
How quick do you adapt? We’ll find out, I guess. My advice to you? Keep on your
toes. Stay on your guard- Because I’ll pull the trump card when you least
expect it. But hell, like you, I’m not going to preach to the masses aboot how
great I am, or how the match will be the most brutal ever… That’s the sort of
thing Jake Jeckyl would do. Rambling aboot brutality and how this will be one
of the best matches in EMF history is not my style. Because whenever someone
blabs on aboot that, they can never back it up, and their match is always
forgotten. It’s one of the facts of life… Oh well, as hulk Hogan says, Whatcha
gonna do? Listen up, as I said before, I don’t care what match we have. Scott can
book it with no stips, or it can be a “Mr. Whippy” match or whatever… All I
need to know is that you’ll be there, and my title will be on the line. That’s
all I need to motivate me.
Hobo
walks in, wearing dark sunglasses, and a guide dog- He also has a seeing stick,
like all good blind people do…
Hobo: Hey
guys, I thought we could do a sketch on this “blind metal” dude!
Wasabi: Umm,
Hobo, it’s “Def Metal”
Hobo: Oh,
right… (Quickly puts on a hearing aid, while putting
away his blind gear)
Toby: No
Hobo, Def, as in D.. E.. F…
Hobo: Oh
right… Well what the hell is that supposed to mean?! I’m going to find a
dictionary!!!
He
storms out, annoyed at the apparent spelling error in Def Metal’s name, as
Raptor turns back to the camera
Raptor: Anyway
getting back to me, since this is a Raptor promo, after all. There is no way in
hell I would back down from a challenge, Metal and Mann. I know, I have to
participate in the match, whether I like it or not, but hey, looking at it from
all sides, whether you challenge me or not, there’s no chance in hell of me not
making it to that ring. I wanna defend this title, to prove my worth to those
non-believers… Which confuses me. Why are there non believers? We only had to
get rid of a whole damn stable to earn these babies (They
all pat their EMF titles with pride). 13 promo’s in one
week ain’t no holiday, sister. But hey, for those non-believers, I’m here, and
I’ll take you all on, 1 on 1, if that’s what it’ll take to prove to you I ca-
Hobo: Def…
Slang- excellent or first rate. So what? Def Metal means… Ugh, Excellent Metal?
Toby: He
he, he could change his name to “Superior Steel”
Wasabi: Magnificent
Magnesium!
Raptor: How
about Crappy Copper? Ass-ram Aliminium? Who cares. Def Metal, pretty cool! (Raptor
gives the sarcastic thumbs up again) You know,
practically every opponent I face comes up with the line “Raptors are extinct,
and soon, you will be too” and it’s gotta be the lamest line I’ve ever heard.
If this fed cared about names, we’d be screwed by now- An Arkie? Jake Jeckyl,
Angleus “the painted face of death”? Names don’t mean jack shit, Def, you
should know that by now… You know, I thought aboot your claim. All wWo promos
end up in strange places… And your right. But tell me, since when did people
have a problem with creativity? I could of done a promo in a steel mill, or a
metal works, and run off some ridiculous link through your name, but hey, you
convinced me, cause here I am, sitting in Hobo’s Mansion. But hey- as I said,
you wouldn’t wanna be creative, would you? No locations for you! In fact, I
might rip off your idea and cut a promo in Africa. Hey, why not, right?
Actually… Nah…
Screw it, I can’t be
bothered paying the airfare.
Hobo: Dude,
I’m the worlds richest man, I can pay!
Raptor: Forget
it Hobo, we’ll do it another time. Look, Def, I suppose I can cut you a little
slack- You are an inexperienced guy, after all… But when it comes down to you
and me in that ring, taking the wWo out of the equation, taking the G.A.W. out
of the equation, and whoever the hell you’re aligned with, and it’s just you
and me, one on one… Will you be able to handle it? Or will the heat overload
your deep freezed brain? You told me to be prepared, so now it’s my turn. Get
ready. Do what you need to- Take your vitamins, say your prayers, eat your
ice-cream, suck on a big fat icy-pole! Whatever! Just come prepared, because
there’s nothing more I hate than a loud mouth with an oversized ego who can’t
back his shit up. Like the BWO, really. No more BWO, no more TAW, just You, Me,
and the EMF. Knuckle down, Def Metal, before you melt. The heat is on the rise,
the pressure grows, and it’ll all come to boiling point at shockwave. See you on Saturday, and trust me, I don’t
fear you, and I don’t need to find you- I’m sure you’ll come to me. The title’s
the EMF’s now, the title is MINE now, and the title will not be yours. I will
not have everything I worked for, We, the wWo worked for, gone in a week! It’s
not going to happen! It’s over my filthy rotten corpse- Something you’ll never achieve.
Grade A wrestlers? Ha! Grade A Wankers. The GAW and the wWo will meet, and the
new era of the EMF will begin. The wWo’s era.