Upcoming Match |
Other People Used |
People Mentioned |
Titles Held |
Record |
Primetime vs Raptor 3 |
Toby, Hobo, Michael Cole, Primetime’s Butler |
Primetime,
The BWO, An Arkie
|
Extreme Title (1) |
5-2-0 |
After losing to primetime twice, Raptor is
feeling a little aggravated, to say the least. The lockdown has begun, and he
has made himself a rematch to regain his extreme title. After spending a long
day at Hobo’s casino working out the card with the rest of the wWo, he and Toby
decide to go home and get some TV dinners.
Toby: Okay
man, spill the beans, why another match with Primetime?
Raptor: You
wanna know why Tobes? I’ll tell you why. That was my title. I held that
for 4 months, and nobody. NOBODY could take it from me. And it makes me
angry, that I have to lose to a nobody like Primetime, that’s why. The guy just
waltzes back in to the federation, yelling “hey, sorry for not showing up for 6
months, but hey, can I still have my job?” and then decides, I feel like an
Extreme title shot. That doesn’t work for me. I never granted him a match, he
just decided he wanted one. Where in the rule book does it say that?
Toby: *reading the rulebook* Hehe, right here, page 11- Primetime can have any match he wants,
and the wWo can do whatever they damn well feel like. I’ve been studying this
thing for my match against Kiel Hardy and Gillberg. But dad, come on, tell me,
I know it’s getting to you, you’re not yourself.
Raptor: But
that’s where you’re wrong, my padawan!!!!
Toby: Dad,
don’t quote star wars, it’s really not you.
Raptor: Quiet
or I’ll flajabble you with my lightsaber thingy.
Toby: What
the hell does flajabble mean?
Raptor: Never
mind. You were wrong, when you said I haven’t been myself. I have a plan, my
padawan…
Toby: Quit it
with the Padawan thing!
Raptor: Okay,
okay. Listen, I want to send a message to primetime. He should know more than
anyone about sending messages! Ha! Not. He thinks that sqashing a sandwhich
named after me is threatening? Okay, so explain this to me. If I got a hot dog,
and named it Toby, then ran over it in my car, would you find that threatening?
Toby: No,
it’d just think you were a retard.
Raptor: Exactly
my point! Exactly! How does squashing a sandwich make primetime feel powerful?
Does he have a fetish or something? And besides, he named a sandwich after me.
Flattering, but somebody is just ASKING to be sued.
Toby: You’re
right man, this guy is a bit of a try hard!
Raptor: More
than that! He is not only try hard, but he’s stupid, slow, up himself, and un-creative.
What sort of guy threatens you with a SANDWICH!??!?! Come on!
Toby: Look, I
agree dad, the sandwich thing was wak. But give it a rest, I get the point!
Raptor: Yeah,
well, I’m just proving another point by repeating myself. Did you notice, that
primetime’s promo went for 45 minutes, and all he did was repeat himself in as
many different possible ways? I will beat you Raptor, Raptor I will beat you,
Beat you I will raptor? It is annoying as hell that he could waste so much TV
time, for his so called “jobber” Why is that. Why, if I am such a lowly jobber,
did he have to yab on about me for so long. It’s so detrimental! It’s so
pathetically stupid and hypocritical, it just eats away at me. He flaps his
gums about how much of a jobber I am, then puts in a marathon promo, against a
jobber? If I was a jobber, he would have done a real short promo, and still
beaten me. You see, that’s where the Paradox lies. He knows I can defeat him,
and he is trying to screw with my head by calling me a Jobber. But I tell you
this, I am no jobber, I know that just as well as everybody. I was undefeated,
until that bastard came along. So I made this match to prove to the world. I
can beat him, I want to beat him, and I will beat him! But anyway, back onto my
plan. He wants to send a message through a sandwich? Let him. We’ll be a little
more drastic.
Raptor starts whispering into Toby’s ear,
and they both run off.
Later that night, we see them outside a
big mansion, holding some bags. The moon is high, and we see a couple of lights
on in the house.
Raptor: See,
I told you being Prez would have it’s advantages- This is Primetimes house, I
got the address from his contract. Do you think he’s home?
Toby: Well, I
know that on Saturday’s after shockwave, he heads over to Gay Nightclubs all
the time, it’s his little post-match ritual. But nah, I would say he is home
tonight. See the car?
The camera spins around to see a Car with
“Prime” as the number plate. It’s a Ferrari 7000 series and the roof is open.
Raptor: Okay
man, You take the house, I’ll take the Car.
With that, they drop the bags, and open
them. Toby pulls out heaps of toilet paper, and starts throwing it all over the
house. Raptor walks up to the car, and starts smashing the windows. Then, he
spraypaints “wWo- Extreme forever” on the side of the car. Toby picks up some
rocks and starts throwing them through the windows of the house, as the sound
of shattering glass echoes through the courtyard of the mansion. Soon, he
finishes with the House, and has started to help Raptor with the car. They both
unzip their pants and proceed to take a leak in Primetime’s car. Raptor walks
around the front of the car, after opening the bonnet. He starts ripping out cords
and soon the engine catches on fire. Raptor grabs the hose and puts it out,
luckily, before any explosions. But all the noise has attracted some attention.
The front door of the mansion opens, and out walks a middle aged man, with a
bit of a limp…
Raptor: Is
that him? *Yelling* Is that you primetime you old fart????!
Toby: No, he
looks under 55, which would effectively rule him out from being primetime. I
would say it’s his butler.
Raptor: That
would have to be a first, a butler who is younger than his patron?
Butler: *shining
his torch around* Hello?
Who’s there?
Raptor: Where’s
Primetime???? Tell me where that bastard is!
Butler: Who
the hell is that? Get the hell of this property, or I’ll call the police!
Raptor: *shouting*
I’m not going till I
get to Primetime!
Butler: Master
Edgar you mean? Oh, yes, that’s right, you people know his as Primetime. No,
Primetime is out. Now Get off this property before I call the police!!!!!
Raptor: Give
Primetime this for me… Tell him it’s from “his legendary end”
Toby: Do you
intentionally rip off people?
We look at the card Raptor is giving the
butler. It has a picture of Primetime, bloodied, and beaten. On the back, it
has a note from raptor, saying “wish you were here” The butler takes it and
threatens them again, so Raptor and Toby leave. They head over to Hobo’s house,
where Hobo and Wasabi are hanging out.
Wasabi: Dude,
we saw what you guys just did… That was pretty drastic!
Hobo: Haha! A
hell of a lot more drastic then squashing a sandwhich!
Wasabi: Still,
you’d be lucky if you’re not arrested.
Hobo: Actually,
funny you should mention that! Some cops were here before, looking for you.
Seems you busted up Notprez Mick’s car pretty bad, and now they want you from
Primetime’s house and Car. I just payed them off, and they said, “hey, this
never happened, just like the Crimes never happened” and went off. So, you’re
off the hook man, congrats!
Raptor: I
just wish I could of gotten to that Old fuck allready. I want my title back!
Toby: Patience,
my master. The dark side, I sense I you.
Raptor: Shut
up! You didn’t like me referring to star wars!
Toby: Yeah
well, have a cry. I’m cool, so I’m allowed to.
Hobo: So man,
you think you’ll beat Primetime?
Raptor: Hell
yeah I’ll beat him, Hobo! How could I not? The guy has arthritis, he’s so damn
past his prime. He says 3 months ago he was kicking ass? Ha! That’s laughable-
3 months ago he was taking amphetamines to ease his Alzheimer’s and painkillers
for his busted hip that he broke while gardening in his mansion. He may put on
all that crap whenever he’s in public, but ya gotta see through that, which is
what I do. I can see straight to the soul of the guy, and believe me, he’s
aching. He’s old and withered, and I just wouldn’t feel right letting him have
that title. His poor fragile old body couldn’t handle the pressures of the
Extreme title, and I don’t think he deserves it in the first place. He screwed
me out of that title, Hobo, that’s why I’m getting the Rematch- To prove to the
world I can do it, to show everyone that that title is mine for a reason.
Because I am extreme, and I am the best there is, and the best there ever will
be. He can squash as many damn sandwiches as he wants, he can cry, whine,
complain and repeat himself for as long as he wants, but when it comes to
crunch time, when that bell rings, it’ll be me over his prone useless old frail
body. That title will be mine, I will prove I am the best, and when it comes
down to it, the world will know my name, more than his.
Hobo: Right,
well, I’ve got Michael Cole in his cage, next to the promoing room- You wanna
use him for an interview?
Raptor: Yeah,
sure thing.
The scene cuts to Raptor, standing in the
Promoing room. In the background, we see a big “wWo lockdown” poster. Soon,
Michael Cole is walked in by his trainers, on a leash. They release him and
hand him a mic, but his keepers stand by ready with Stun Guns and
Tranquilizers, incase he goes Rabid again.
Cole: Hello
there Raptor. This week has been Huge so far for you. After your big
announcement about the Stable War match and Lockdown, to the revealing of the
Card. And after all of that, you have 3 matches at lockdown! wWo vs An Arkie,
Raptor vs Primetime, and the Stable Wars- How do you feel about that?
Raptor: Well
first of all Michael, let me get this straight. I could have a thousand
matches, and still, I would win all of them. That’s my thing Cole, winning is
my gimmick, it runs in my blood. An Arkie is a jobber. A true jobber, unlike
primetime’s definition of Jobber, which is a little fucked up. So An Arkie is
not a worry- In a 6 vs 1 match, I don’t think I really have a problem. But
while the Primetime match is big, the Stable Wars is more important. The
history of the wWo and the EMF has been altered the last week, to include this
huge event, and I know it’s not going to be the final chapter of the wWo. And
Primetime. Primetime is my little side match. Something to entertain me before
the real thing. But don’t get me wrong, I’m not taking the guy lightly- oh no!
I have to beat this guy. This is my match to prove something to the world, this
is my time. So while An Arkie is for some light jokes and entertainment, and
the Stable Wars is to prove the wWo- this match is to prove that I am what I
say I am, and that is a upcoming legend of this federation. That one day, I
will enter the hall of fame with the greats, and there you will see- Raptor. I
want people to remember my name for years to come- Like X-Cold or Counterfeit.
Everyone who’s anyone knows those names. And one day it will be X-Cold,
Counterfeit, and the wWo- Wasabi, Raptor and the Gang. We will not be
forgotten, this PPV is our chance to make our mark on the EMF. To keep our
images sketched in the annals of time. All these titles that are on the line,
all have been held by great men. Men like hunter hearst helmsley. People like
Alex Salvatore. And all of them mean something. So, while the Extreme title may
be low compared to the rest, it is still huge to me.
Cole: Right.
So, let me get this straight- with these 3 matches, you hope to become an EMF
great, a Hall of Famer?
Raptor: Yes,
and no. I don’t expect to get in the Hall of Fame straight after I win my
Extreme title back and then disband the BWO. But I know it will help. My career
is taking a rise this week, I’m moving up in the ranks. I’m taking on
Primetime, for the Extreme title, and then in the Main Event, I’m looking for
the Chance to become a world champion- To accomplish my life long dream. Isn’t
that a great story? Isn’t it uplifting? But there are certain people who stand
before me, trying to block my way. Hurdles, in the race of my life. Primetime,
and the BWO. Both are great competitors, and both are not to be taken lightly. But
both are cocky, egomaniacal old people. Both think they should be king of the
world. Both want to hold the rest of the roster down, so they can extend their
flailing careers. Let me tell you this. I will not be held down, I will not be
stopped. I will not let Primetime or the BWO stand in my way of becoming a
great. This is my time, and they are in no way going to hold me back. As rob
zombie put it, “Never gonna stop me”
Cole: Okay.
So Raptor, the BWO and Primetime are a threat to your goals, but, putting aside
the Stable War match, how do you plan to defeat one of those hurdles,
Primetime?
Raptor: Well,
really, it’s quite simple Michael. They’ll be no run ins, I’ve already decided
that. I’ve told the guys that I’ve gotta do this on my own. They’ll be no
cheating, no sliming my way into a win. They’ll only be one thing. A truly
great match. One where both men are pushed to the limits, one where both take
as much pain as possible. And I am prepared to take it. But I am also ready to
deal it, as much as humanly possible. Primetime will find out why I was
undefeated for so long. He will find out why I am nowhere near the “jobber” he
imagines. It’s time to teach primetime that he isn’t always right in his
assumptions, that he was wrong when he assumed I was a jobber. And how wrong he
was. As JR says “when you assume, you make an ass out of u and me” Sure, it’s a
lame joke, but it’s true. When you assume, and get it wrong, you look like a
jackass. And that’s what primetime is going to look like come Lockdown. Because
lockdown is MY pay per view, the wWo’s pay per view, and he’ll learn that when
you mess with the Prez, you’ll pay.
Cole: Speaking
of messing with the Prez- You messed with the EMF’s former Prez Mike- Does that
mean you’ll pay?
Raptor: Only
if he comes back from Iraq, which I doubt. If he can get back from there in a
week I will be truly impressed.
Cole: Onto
another topic- An Arkie.
Raptor: An
Arkie is finally going to be shown the power of the wWo- 6 vs 1? I don’t like
his chances.
Cole: Neither
do I. Thank you for the interview, any closing comments on Primetime?
Raptor: Damn
straight I have closing comments. I’ve pulled a bit of a Primetime myself this
promo. I know I’ve repeated myself on more than one occasion. But there is a
difference between me and him- I do it with style. I can pull it off, quite
well, in fact, compared to Primetime, where the world decides to go take a leak
and get a hot dog- Quite like an An Arkie promo. I know you’re watching,
Primetime- I know your probably fuming about your house, and your car. But
remember the card I sent you, it’s a preview of lockdown… Remember it…
He holds the card up again- the picture
of Primetime, unconscious, bloodied and beaten, with the words down the bottom,
saying “Wish you were here”