Roleplay
Background: Huh? What’s going on, you say? Something
is happening in the wWo, and a challenge is about to be laid out. Quickly… Read
it- Find out what’s going on!!!! No, really, read it.
Setting the
Scene: Our scene opens with Wasabi and Raptor,
standing in front of a orange background, staring calmly at the camera,
preparing to address the fans…
Raptor: Haha! I broke the First PPV Defense
CURSE! WOOAH!
Wasabi: How proud I am. And how happy I feel
that the nWo got completely wrecked last night. Yeah, they sure did. Not only
did they lose the only singles gold they had, but they all got bashed… and you
know the funniest part?
Raptor: What?
Wasabi: THEY GOT BASHED BY… BADD BOY!!!!
Raptor: Ha! The nWo sure is a “dominating”
stable! HAH! Anyway, now that we’ve got that off our chests, we’re here to lay
out a challenge.
Wasabi: Damn straight we are! You see, I’ve
noticed something. Last night, the nWo lost all of its gold. Except for two
belts. Those Tag Belts. That are NEVER defended. Never. Hobo defended his IC
title more than you guys defend your tag titles. So. Here’s my proposition. If
you nWo ball-lickers are game, the wWo’s newest tag team wants a shot!
Raptor: That’s right, boys and girls. Raptor and
Wasabi are now officially a tag team, baby! And we want your gold, Primetime.
But there’s another issue. You’re tag partner. Matt Dragon has retired!!! So,
if your up to it, pick another one of your nWo orgy-buddies, and let’s play
ball!
Wasabi: The wWo’s newest tag team has arrived,
boys and girls. Can YOU take the heat?
We see the wWo hanging out one of the
party buses. They are on the all new “That 70’s bus” and Wasabi has an afro. We
see Wasabi snorting some white powder, and tripping out, as Hobo goes up to
him…
Wasabi: Wooooah… All the colors!!!
Hobo: Don’t do drugs, mmmkay? It’s bad man,
you’re a role model for heaps of little kids…
Wasabi: Oh Hobo, don’t be stupid, it’s not
cocaine, it’s sherbet!!! It’s pretty strong shit!
Raptor walks in as Hobo joins in snorting
sherbet.
Hobo: Aww yeah, that’s the shit… Oh, *Waves to Raptor* Hey Wasabi!!!!
Raptor: Umm?
Hobo: Wait a minute… *Looks at Wasabi, then back at Raptor,
then back at Wasabi, then back at Raptor again* THERE ARE TWO OF YOU!!!!
Raptor: NO DOING DRUGS!!! *Raptor swipes at the powder, throwing it all over the floor
as Hobo cries*
Wasabi: It was just sherbet, you idiot! *Wailing* Oh the waste! Oh the humanity!!!!
Raptor: Oh well, I just came out of the roller
disco section of the bus to talk to you, ‘Sabi man, bout our yet unnamed tag
team.
Wasabi: YEEEEAHHH!!! We’re sooo gonna kick
their royal nWo old man flab asses.
Hobo: A tag team?
Raptor: *ignoring hobo* Yeah, it’s gonna be fully AWESINE *the words “Yes, AWESINE, Prez Mike. Very Awesine!” flashes
across the screen*
Hobo: A TAAAAG TEAM!? Why was I not informed!???
Wasabi: Hey Rapy, why don’t we start trying to
think of a name for it?
Hobo: *Jumping up and down with rage trying to
get attention* Fine
then. Screw you guys, I’m going home. To make a tag team with Toby then. Ha!
Wasabi: Well Rapy, what about something like…
wWo cat laxative?!
Raptor: I think we might wait for the sherbet to
wear off.
3
days later…
Wasabi: No, I seriously think Cat Laxative is a
cool name…
Raptor: Ummm….
5 days later, they are finally off the
party bus
Wasabi: OK!!! OK, forget Cat Laxative. What
about we call ourselves “the WhOrDe”?
Raptor: Hmm… Sounds kind of familiar…
Wasabi: Ok then… What aboot… The “Alternate
Planet”?
Raptor: Also sounds familiar… Plus the name
makes me kinda feel like hating people….
Wasabi: Hmm… How aboot we use a dictionary and
a thesaurus?
Wasabi: Ok… Search for… words like group…
Raptor: Right… Here- Hmm… Group, Mob, Horde,
Gaggle, Phalanx, Tong….
Wasabi: What aboot Phalanx?
Raptor: Err… *Looks
at Wasabi weird again* No…
No fucking way are we calling it Phalanx… NOOOO WAY. Not a chance in hell…
Later that day…
Raptor: I don’t know how the hell you talked me
into this!!!! Phalanx… Oh my god! What sort of a shit name is Phalanx?!
Wasabi: *Nearly dies from laughter* Phalanx is awesine!!! AWESINE!!!
Raptor: What the hell does it mean??? *Looks it up in the dictionary* Hmm…
pha·lanx Pronunciation Key
n. pl. pha·lanx·es or pha·lan·ges
Raptor: Umm… We’re named after a BONE IN
SOMEONE’S GODDAMNED FINGER?!
Wasabi: No! The 1st one! A compact or
close group of people!!! It’s the wWo Phalanx, Baby! And we’re gonna bring home
the taaaag teeeeeam tiiiiiiitles…
Raptor: What’s up with all the slurring?
Wasabi: Sorry, just had some more sherbet.
Raptor: Arrrghh! No! I’m changing the name to
the wWo ring mafia!!!
Wasabi: NO!!!! PHALANX!!!!
Raptor: NO!!! I FUCKING HATE PHALANX!!!!!
Wasabi: GRRR!!! PHALANX DAMN
YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Raptor: Goddamn you!!! How aboot wWo two guys?!
Even that’s better than Phalanx!!!
Wasabi: Two guys?! That could be taken the
wrong way…
Raptor: NO! PHALANX IS CRAP!!!!! We’ll
call it the wWo Ratpack!
Wasabi: NO!!! You know what?! *Gets a sneaky look in his eyes* I still like cat laxative…
Raptor: AHHR! Okay!!! Okay! Goddamn it, you stupid
bastard… Just have it as Phalanx… Damn it!
Wasabi smiles as the promo goes off the
air. It’s revealed… They’re coming for you, Primey… Jarred…