On A Cobweb Afternoon


Type of Story: Series
Rating: PG-13 (Language)
Characters: Most all from the X-Men movies.
Disclaimer:  I don’t own them, I only play with them…

Additional Disclaimer:  I’d like to think that I’m being original here, but more than likely I’m not.  If anyone else has read anything like this, please let me know so that I can give credit where it’s due!

A/N: Once again, I believe I’m being original… But if I’m not, please let me know.  There’s nothing worse that plagiarism!!

Song fic:  Like A Stone by Audioslave

(Words in italics are song lyrics)

(Words in single ‘ quotes ‘ are first person… as if you couldn’t figure that out’

 

On a cobweb afternoon

In a room full of emptiness

 

He sits alone in his favorite spot.  The alcove at the end of the hall on the second floor allows him to keep watch over all that he cares for.  But although he is ever vigilant as he watches Marie comfort Scott late at night and views Kurt consoling Storm, Logan can not escape the feeling of emptiness in his soul at not having the one person that he did truly love.

 

By a freeway I confess

I was lost in the pages

Of a book full of death

 

Storm had given him the journal almost a week ago.  At first, he didn’t want it.  What went on in Marie’s mind, was all of her business and no one else’s.  But Storm had insisted that Marie wanted him to have it.  And so, he read.  But wished that he hadn’t.  At some point, Marie had evidently touched Jean.  And was let into a dark world.  What went on behind Jean’s eyes no one knew about except Marie and now Logan.  Darkness, pain in choices made, wishes for the agony of unfulfilled wants to cease…  And thoughts of death for the self-loathing of wishing for things that couldn’t be.  Foreseeing being alone, how some would go on and be with those they should, others gaining peace…

 

Reading how we’ll die alone

And if we’re good we’ll lay to rest

Anywhere we want to go

 

In your house, I long to be

Room by room, patiently

I’ll wait for you there

Like a stone

I’ll wait for you there

…alone

 

‘I wait here, day after day, year after year, wishing for something …more.  I love the children, Storm, the Professor.  And Lord knows, I love Scott.  But no one, not even the Professor, knows my pain.  I’ve become something… else.  Something stronger.  Something dangerous.  I catch myself having strange thoughts, thoughts of dominance, hurting people because I can.  It scares me.  Scott wouldn’t understand what it’s like to not have control.  That’s partially why I long for Logan.  He would understand.  So, I wait here, wandering the rooms one by one, feeling no emotion.  Sometimes, I feel like a statue, a stone.  And I wait, alone in my chaos, shutting down, fearing the worst, knowing something is going to happen.   I have no control.  All I know is that whenever I hold or kiss Scott anymore, I feel an urgency, as if each time is the last.  When I see Marie, I feel a kinship, a gratefulness that I can’t explain.  And when I see Storm, I feel sadness and a great joy, for I know something wonderful is coming for her.’

 

And on my deathbed, I will pray

To the God and the Angels

Like a pagan