The Paths Home: Bleak Desolation
Type of Story: Series (The Paths Home:)
Rating: PG-13 (Language)
Characters: Most all from the X-Men
movies.
Feedback: Emily_joyner@ureach.com (Please??
I love feedback!!)
Disclaimer: I don’t own them, I only play with them…
Additional Disclaimer: I’d like to think
that I’m being original here, but more than likely I’m not. If anyone else has read anything like this,
please let me know so that I can give credit where it’s due!
Song fic: Duende by Delerium
(Words in italics are song lyrics)
(Words
in single ‘ quotes ‘ are first person… as if you
couldn’t figure that out’
Bleak desolation
In a beam of sun
He wakes, squinting in the
brightness of the morning’s light. He
feels the pain then. The
ache of the emptiness that resides within himself. Residing where his heart
should be. It’s been like this
forever it seems, although he knows in reality it’s only been a short
while. The loneliness haunts him, *in* him. He wonders if it will ever end. And he remembers…
Scraping as I crawl
(Your heart can’t hear me)
‘ I try to get to you, but they hold me back. I scream out in anguish, in pain, but to no
avail! ‘
Tearing, bruising fall
(Your hands can’t hear me)
‘ I fall, trying to reach you. Ripping at the hands that
hold me in place. ‘
Thirsting, raging blind
(Your eyes can’t hear me)
‘ I’m desperate to see you, cursing at fate. Why?!
Why would it do this to us?! *How* could it do this to us?! “
Racing against time
(Your arms can’t hear me)
‘ And it’s over… you’re gone from me. That quickly… I
don’t understand. ‘
Like an angel you’ll come
In a dream, Precious One
(and)
Make me beautifully numb
He lives in dreams. She’s always there. Her presence wrapping itself
around him. It dulls the pain of
her absence. Sleep… it’s his preference
now. Nothing hurts him..
*them* there. They are always young there, always
beautiful, always together.
Desperate, panicked calls
(The wind can’t hear me)
‘ I wake, crying out your name, but you never hear
me. I hear the familiar tap on the
door. She always comes. She offers her comfort and her friendship, never
asking for more. She knows that I can’t
give it to her. Am I being selfish for
taking and not giving? Maybe. But tonight, I
need what only she can give me… safety and security from the darkness in my
mind. ‘
Muffled, weak and small
(The sand can’t hear me)
‘ I cry sometimes, the tears coming with no warning. She never minds. Her soft words and quiet actions offer more
solace from the maelstrom of emotions than any counselor ever could. She understands.
Pleading, groping hands
(The truth can’t hear me)
‘ I can’t face it!
I won’t accept it! I hold out my
hands, hoping to ward it off. But it
won’t stop, no matter how I plead, how I beg! ‘
Bleeding in the sand
(Your heart can’t hear me)
‘ You’re gone. ‘
Bleak desolation
In a beam of sun
‘ The truth bites.
Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Ignorance *is* bliss. ‘
Like an angel you’ll come
In a dream, Blessed One
(and)
Make me joyfully numb
She has been replaced in his
dreams. He finds a different comfort
now. The aching is replaced by need… a
need to live. A need
to feel. A need to *be*!
And he’s tormented each night… A
feeling such as he has never felt before is beginning to develop.
Razor fingers cling
(The wind can’t hear me)
‘ I want her. I
need her. But I love you as well. And the pain of the choice is much like a
knife my chest. I scream into the storm
of my feelings, demanding an answer! “Why can’t I have peace?!” ‘
Piercing demons sing
(The sand can’t hear me)
‘ The fates once again laugh at me. She has told me that she can’t be with
me. She won’t share me. She tells me that I must choose: her or you.
‘
Twisting, hollow Hell
(The truth can’t hear me)
‘ The nights offer no comfort again. This Hell that is my slumber offers no
rest. The dreams of
you and her twisting together and melding, not allowing me any peace. What do I do, My Love? ‘
Burning blisters swell
(Your heart can’t hear me)
‘ The pain becomes that of a fire, ever growing. The emptiness is back a thousand fold. The darkness swells within my mind once
again. I need your love here to shelter
me. I need her heart to guide me. But neither of you can hear me. ‘
Sharp, cut, aching breath
(Your arms can’t hear me)
‘ I can’t live like this anymore. I *won’t*
live like this anymore. ‘
Choking scent of death
(Your hands can’t hear me)
‘ I smell the death coming, riding on the scent of
iron. I choke, needing air. I pale, needing the blood rapidly leaving my
body. I look down and her face swims
before my vision and I know… you’ve helped me make my choice. You were never selfish. You always gave. Thank you.
Grueling jaw-bone grind
(Your eyes can’t hear me)
‘ I have no strength left. I muster what bit of will I have left and
yell for help, and I pray. Pray that I
get through this so I can let her know.
I *have* to let her know! ‘
Cursed by my own mind
(Your heart can’t hear me)
It’s been six months since
her tried to take his own life.
“I love you.”
“I know.”
And Scott smiled at Marie,
finally knowing that he’d make it. He
was going to be whole again, someday.