No!

She did not just say that to me!

Who the hell does she think she is?!

Really?! I mean, this has affected us all, damn her! We all feel it. We all feel the guilt, the pain, the sorrow... I don't care that it's only been six months. It's time to move on. At some point, enough is enough! You eventually have to pick yourself up by the friggin' boot straps and go on with your life! It's not easy! If that's what she thinks, she's sorely mistaken! There has never been anything so hard to do in my life!

Who would have thought they'd ever hear me say that? I'm the epitome of 'Round 'em up, move 'em on out!' when it really comes down to it.

...sigh...

Everyone thinks that they know me so well! But they don't know me at all. That really hurt! It really, truly did. If she had slapped me, I don't think I would have been more shocked. I mean, I thought everyone knew how I felt about Jean. That accusation.... that... How could anyone think I don't love Jean?! Just because it's time to move on, because I'm ready to pick up the pieces of my life and see what the next day brings, I don't love Jean?!

There's a double standard there if I ever saw one!

I guess since I don't want to dread the next day anymore, but embrace it, I'm insensitive. I want to find joy in life again! I want to laugh, to be happy, to enjoy the days!

Jean gave her life up for us to go on. She sacrificed for us to live. She wouldn't want us to sit here, wallowing in self-pity and grief! Jean was so vibrantly alive in everything she did, how can anyone think that she'd want us to just sit there and do anything other than smile when we thought about her?!

I look at Ororo and I'm stunned. The words she stated echoing in my ears, around and around: "You don't love Jean! You never did! If you did, you'd not be going out right now, on a date! You're spitting on her memory! It's only been six months, for crying out loud!"

The silence stretches as the thoughts run through my head. How does one react to someone saying that they never loved a person who was everything to everyone. What should one say in defense other than the truth? Why should one have to defend oneself for doing the very thing that everyone should be wanting one to do?

Ororo looks at me again, and slowly shakes her head, "You had us all fooled, didn't you? You had us all believing that you truly wanted her and only her."

That did it! At that point, I feel like I have been sucker punched and all the anger and grief finally exploded to finally be done with. I was no one's bitch to be spoken to like that! How dare she think to know me?!

"I'm not your bitch, Ororo! Don't hang your shit on me!", I scream at her.

I turn and walk away. It's time to live my life. I'm not paying for anyone else's guilt. Ororo needs to deal with it herself. I'm through.

"Scott?"

I hear her softly say my name. I turn and see Ororo softly crying. She holds out her hand to me. I look at her and shake my head.

"I can't help you, Storm. You need to get through it on your own."

"I know. I do. But I miss her so much, Scott. I loved her, too. I... I'm sorry. Please, forgive me. I.. I guess I'm just envious. You've gotten through it. I don't think I ever will."

"You will, sweetie. Give it as much time as you need. And remember, Jean would want you to be happy. Do what makes you happy."

I turn and continue on my way out. I step out of the mansion's massive front doors and for the first time in months, truly feel the sunshine on my face. I know that Jean would want this. And I will always miss her. But I have to go on.

It's time to live again.

I'm not your bitch
Don't hang your shit on me.