pretty tough to think about

Friday, February 1st, 2002

Things I ate today:
- one bottle water, left over from last night's movie
- five peanut M&M's, left over from last night's movie
- one cup tea, tazo chai, with two lumps and skim milk
- one cup tea, afternoon, with two lumps and skim milk
- one half apple fritter

I'm thinking that maybe I have a problem. I hardly ever eat, and when I do, it's either tea or something sweet. This can't be healthy.

I have a craving for summer sausage. Which isn't helping any.

Today, I only had one class. History was, as usual, very boring. Then, I finally broke down and took my computer in to get fixed. A new keyboard would cost me between $100 and $125. I had it sent to a shop in town to see if it can be replaced under the warranty. I doubt it will be, but I'd rather spend an extra $50 and be sure that I have to buy a new keyboard than buy one needlessly. The logic in this? There is none. So now I have a loaner from the shop. I spent all afternoon tweaking the computer to my liking. It's much better now.

I just realized that what Giles says in Life's A Show is not "she needs backup; I need a tie" but "she needs backup. Anya? Tara?" I think my original was much funnier. But it wouldn't have made sense in the show. Oh well.

So it's Friday night, 12:03am, and I'm in my room. There's something wrong with this picture, isn't there? A smart, pretty, questionably friendly 19-year-old girl, in her room on a Friday night. I should be out having fun. But I'm not.

Geoff's gone to Montréal this weekend, so I doubt I'll leave my room much. Which is just as well, because I have an essay to write on poetry. Not hard stuff, but stuff to be done. However, this also means that it is highly unlikely that I will go to meals. I have to go into town to buy shampoo tomorrow, though. Maybe I'll buy some cereal while I'm there.

I'm really starting to wish I'd gone to Montréal this weekend, too. I mean, I really couldn't because of this essay, but I really, really wish I could have. It would have been so much fun. And I would have gotten hugs. I never get hugs here. Kingston is like this big, unloving, non-hugging place. It's no good. I used to get so many hugs. Now I get none. Talking to Ni over ICQ makes things better, but it's just not the same, you know?

Oh well. Next year will be better, I'm sure of it.