Listening to:
Turin Brakes - Pain Killer (the only track off Ether Song I can find)

just as soon as I steal Tiff's new copy.

Of course, I wanted to use it right away. I mean, I had to, right? To make sure it works?

I didn't, though. Instead, I started reading a book I borrowed from Tiff. Confessions of a Shopaholic. And then, of course I had to read the second one. The problem with that is that I tend to over-identify with characters in books I read. When I read The Chrysalids, I started to think that maybe if I strained my brain hard enough I could hear voices, too. When I read The Bell Jar, I too started to think I saw everything through a tinted window and wondered what it would feel like to suffocate. So reading this book, I started to feel really, really guilty. About money. Like I was spending scads of it needlessly, and like I couldn't stop or fix it. Which is ridiculous, really, because I don't spend money. I buy groceries, sure, but I haven't bought a new sweater in months. All my clothes have holes in them, and I still don't replace anything. And yet, despite all this rationalizing, I still felt guilty. And kind of stupid, but that's another matter entirely.

I finished the second book this afternoon. I accidentally slept through my only class (making me feel even more ridiculous than before), so I spent most of the day finishing the book. Or rather, starting, then finishing the book. Ahem. And then I did something even more foolish. I used my credit card.

I rationalize it by thinking that the two cds I bought were imports, so it would be very unlikely to find them in the Indigo on Princess (the only place to find new cds in ancient Kingston). But did I really need them? Probably not. But I'm still excited. I'm still very, very excited.

And, obviously, I'm also very, very guilty.

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