Listening to:
Scottish Radio

Dear Guy at Tesco,
Remember when you were running my groceries through the till and trying to flirt with me by showing off your expansive music knowledge? I acted impressed, but I wasn't so much. I didn’t want to be rude, I just wanted my change so I could go home.
But don’t worry. You’re still cute.
Emily.

Dear Parents,
Remember when I told you years ago that my dream job would be in journalism? I lied. My dream job would be to go back in time and become one of the Supremes, or any other backup singer in a similar group. I would love for my job to consist entirely of swinging my hips and dancing with my hands.
Sorry I'm full of deceit,
Emily.

Dear People of Madrid,
Remember that stuff that happened last week? Of course you do. I acted all upset about it, but I was secretly a little relieved that it happened when it did. Had it all happened a day later, my sister might have been near one of the trains, so I was a little thankful that it happened when it did. This of course makes me the most horrible person ever, and I’m sorry about that.
I'm still disgusted with the world, though. That part wasn’t a lie.
Emily.

Dear Someone, I Forget Who Exactly,
Remember when I told you that my friend’s middle name was Judas, and how that was the best middle name ever? Turns out he was joking. His real middle name is James, which is not the best middle name ever.
Gullibly yours,
Emily

Dear Kids In My Reading Group,
Remember how I told you that Mary Shelley wrote Frankenstein when she was 18? Turns out she wrote it when she was 20. My point is still valid, though. She had done more than we have at her age. It’s not like any of you have written a hit novel yet, have you?
Or, wait. Have you?
Emily.

Dear Prof. M.,
Remember in my essay how I suggested that Twelfth Night’s Viola was a Machiavel in my conclusion? I don’t really believe that, it just fit nicely with my thesis. I couldn’t write an essay supporting the statement, so I stuck it in at the end to make you think, ‘hm…. Interesting…’
Did you think that at the end?
Emily.

Dear Gas Stove,
Remember how I yelled at you the other day when you refused to light? I’m sorry. I still love you. You make my food warm, so you will always be dear to my heart.
Please forgive me,
Emily.

Dear Geoff,
Remember when I pointed out that I’d never sent you any proper mail? Well, check your mail slot on Thursday. I have corrected that oversight.
Emily.

Dear Edinburgh,
Remember last week when I was all tired of school, tired of everything, and how I said I couldn’t wait to get out of this town just for a little bit? I’m sorry I said that. I adore this town, and I will miss it madly when I’m in Vienna.
Don’t change one little bit, you hear me?
Emily.

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