. . . it would be impossible to keep Lion-o interested in any sort of "quest" without the promise of food. Plenty of food.
. . . Tygra would be more interested in digging up plants and eating them, than in growing and studying them.
. . .the sides of the lair would have been constantly scratched and dirtied so badly that any berbil builders would give up in despair.
. . . transporting the T-cats would involve cat-baskets, sedatives and frantic yowling. Half-way through said transportation, yowling should change to screaming, on the basis that everyone else in the car shouldn't enjoy the trip either.
. . . Lion-O would be unable to eat any food in peace;   if he were eating lunch at the table, Panthro and Tygra would sit around him, leaning over and staring at his food until he gave in and gave them some. If he just glared at them, they'd close their eyes tight and purr. Hopefully.
. . . the Thundercats would show their affection for their leader by:a) Leaving small dismembered lizards lying around on the floor for
    him to step on - barefoot;b) Placing dead dismembered furry creatures under his bed to be
    found weeks later, after the smell became really unbearable;c) (if the above failed): Placing large dead headless lizards in
    Lion-o's boots. Or his slippers. Sticky dead headless lizards.(After showing excessive affection for about a month, all the T-cats would suddenly start to completely ignore Lion-o... for two to three months.)
. . . the Thundercats wouldn't ever do anything Lion-o ordered them to do, on the basis that those who desire loyalty and obedience should get a dog.It would likewise be impossible to get anyone to bother to respond to the cat-signal. Even if the promise of food did the trick, they would still lie down where Lion-o was trapped, just out of his reach, and wash themselves smugly while he screamed threats at them . . . (okay, I sorta stole that one from Terry Pratchett's illustrated cat book).
. . . the male Tcats would bully the female ones by hitting them in the face to steal their food, and jumping on them and biting them hard as a punishment for daring to sleep on a bed. If the male Tcats were in a bad mood, they would chase the female ones around the lair, clawing and biting them out of sheer boredom.
. . . both sexes would ambush each other, just for fun, with much pulling-out of fur and biting of ears. And more yowling.
. . . the male Tcats would need to be neutered, as the ammoniac smell sprayed around the doorways of the Lair would have the ability to melt concrete at 400 yards, and have the penetrating quality of a jackhammer. For some reason, it would be impossible to stop Cheetara from sniffing at it, in spite of the instant searing headache this would cause.
. . . the Tcats would greet someone they hadn't seen for a while with loud trills of delight, and then affectionately jump onto their shoulders, causing that person to fall over ... due partly to shock, and partly to the fact that the T-cats had been snacking a little too much lately, causing instant knee-collapse ... and whiplash. They would then be hurt if they were shouted at by said person.
. . . twice a year, there would be a sudden violent interest in the female Tcats, with vague hatred turning to extremely determined pursuit. With much more yowling, this time. And more fighting and biting. And the need for a vet, to treat all the abscesses caused by said biting....
Mail     Discworld     Narnia     Fake Chia Plot     Home