Perhaps

Sitting here staring at the same four walls,
Looking out at the same scene as every other morning,
I begin to ponder just why I am grounded here
When there are so many other places I could explore,
So many other things I could be doing.
But here I sit, chained by uncertainty
While my heart cries out ‘It is time! Move on!
It is time to explore, to learn, to be free of constraints!"

I have allowed myself to believe that
I need to have security more than freedom,
That only if my basic needs are being met,
Will I be safe, happy, fulfilled;
No matter that my imagination, my creativity, my ‘spirit’
Wither for lack of expression.
I need to soar, but I have allowed myself to crawl far too long.

Perhaps one day I will allow myself to fly once more;
But for now, I remain on the ground,
My eyes gazing upward with longing,
My heart crying out for the freedom to use my wings.
I can only hope that when that day arrives,
I will not have forgotten how to fly.

M.J. Marlow
3 May 1999

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