| "Why I do this" continued........... |
| However, all good things come to an end, as such, and those days are mostly gone. I am now married and have 2 young kids, so this rather cramps my style, as they say. I love them all very much and do not regret getting married - but have you ever had that feeling that you wish you had two parallel lives (there is a film about that - if only it were really possible!) My wife now actually does not know about my other life and dissolved into a puddle of tears on the spot when she found out. I had inadvertently left a website URL on the PC and of course when she was searching around on the internet, this very kindly dropped down as she typed the new search name. We have been married 9 years, so this secret did not come easy. I had always tried to hint a few times and get her ideas on the subject - the conclusion was not favourable so I kept my little lips tightly closed. I have now told her pretty much everything so she knows but certainly does not approve at all. I wish I could make her understand. I have promised to try and reform but doubt I can. Certainly, at various points all traces of my life have gone into the bin and I have later regretted it (how many other people have also done that!)This makes me think that Emma is very much a part of me that will never and can never be destroyed. Like I said at the start, I could write a whole story on the details of me dressing up and going out, but you will have heard it before, it's no different really to other stories and you will probably have done it yourself. Thus, if I may conclude with some important advice if, like me, your mind wills you towards your feminine side.... TRY IT, DO IT and ENJOY IT. The whole secret to being accepted as a woman would appear to be the fact that you do nothing out of the ordinary, nor do you feel out of place doing it. In short, you pass quietly and unnoticed by everyone. Remember, that people are not walking around looking for transvestites - they are too busy with their own important lives thinking about work, shopping, driving, their love life, kids, clothes- whatever. If you look half convincing, act "softly" as most women do, dress appropriately for the occassion and feel as if you are a woman - then you may just get away with it. If you pass someone on the street, then you have gone past and are just a disappearing shadow by the time they work out what you may have been. If you are half convincing at "passing", then someone is probably going to have to be pretty close to you to work out that you aren't what you appear to be. Please be careful, though. The day will come when I won't look like I do anymore. I will need to swap the soft make-up sponge for a builders trowel, the wrinkles will take a bit more hiding and I just know that when I look in the mirror I will then struggle to convince myself that Emma is staring back. When that day does come, I will "retire" gracefully. In a way, I have had two lives in one and have loved every minute - oh, to have that time again.. I would also always recommend someone experiencing the other gender role - it makes them a better and more tolerant person and, if more people were like us, then there would surely be less problems in the world.. Remember... EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT THAT'S WHAT MAKES LIFE INTERESTING SO BE INTERESTING ! |