Andy Baker's Null Space: The MSTs
MST #1: "The Marionette Killers"

Disclaimer: If you're a regular of the fanfiction community, you know the drill. With the notable exception of the use of myself as a character, I do not own the characters in this work of fiction - they belong to Satoru Akahori, Tsukasa Kotobuki, Sotsu Agency, TV Tokyo, etc. Any other copyrighted material referenced is the property of the original copyright holders. Also, I made a few…er…"modifications" to the "Theme From Gilligan's Island," so I apologize in advance to the people who own the copyrights to that… This work is intended purely for entertainment purposes, and no profit is or should be made off of it, as that would be piracy worthy of sending the perpetrator to a federal pound-me-in-the-@$$ prison.

Note to Fanfiction.net Community: I received permission from Laichi to do this MST, so there is no cause to delete my account.

Warnings: This fanfic contains humor and/or situations that may be considered inappropriate for children under a certain age (approximately equivalent to an R-rated movie). If you are underage, or if the subject matter offends you, and you decide to ignore this warning, I cannot be held responsible. It also contains spoilers for the end of Saber Marionette J.

And now, on with the show!!!

MST #1: "The Marionette Killers" HAJIMARU

Intro: "Theme from Andy's Null Space"

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
The strangest tale by far
From the far future on an all-male world
Aboard Japonessguar.

If the girls had simply sat and stared,
Their loved ones would surely die.
Six androids had blasted off that day
To rescue Lorelei, to rescue Lorelei.

The girls had made it safely aboard,
The rogue AI went nuts,
It caused the Wormhole Drive to overload
And lost the ship in flux, and lost the ship in flux.

The ship was now stuck inside this unknowable null space
With Raimu-chan, The Otaku,
The Saber Doll and Cherry,
With Bloodberry
Th' Imperial Court Sabers,
Here in Andy's Null Space.

     "Alright, let's assess the situation," said Andy, already taking charge of the group. "We can't get back home without a new Wormhole Transit Drive. But in order to build one, we'll need Tamasaburo and Baiko's assistance."
     "But they were nearly destroyed in the battle with whatever it was that the Mesopotamia sent to keep us from the data center long enough to delete most of the data on the technology," replied Bloodberry. "They'll probably have to be rebuilt from scratch."
     Cherry was next to speak. "But Luchs and I don't have the technical knowledge for anything more than basic repairs. If we want them back, we'll have to rescue Lorelei."
     "And that means confronting whatever guards and traps that the Mesopotamia may have set in place since we came here," Luchs said.
     "Meanwhile, we have to maintain a pretense of submitting to the Mesopotamia's will. That means watching whatever fanfics it decides to throw at us" commented Andy. As if on cue, the Mesopotamia chose that moment to break in on their conversation.
     >I HAVE SELECTED THE FIRST FANFIC FOR VIEWING. IT WILL BE READY IN ABOUT TEN MINUTES. WHEN THE SIGNAL TO START GOES OFF, YOU ARE TO ENTER THE THEATER PROMPTLY.
     "Well, then" said Andy, "I guess that I should enlighten you guys on fanfiction so that you can go in prepared."
     Everyone huddled around Andy, who was bathed in the soft glow of the computer screen. He proceeded to introduce the four marionettes to the wonders of the fanfiction community by going through the web site that hosted the Fanfiction Mailing List FAQ page.
     "So now do you understand what fanfiction is all about?" he queried.
     The marionettes responded in the affirmative.
     "Good. I don't want to have to repeat myself," Andy said with a teasing grin.
     The others glared at him. Cherry then spoke up. "There is, however, one thing that you left out of your explanation that I think would be relevant - how to deal with bad fanfiction."
     "I was just about to get to that. Basically, you give it the Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment." Andy said.
     "HUH?!" was everyone's confused reply.
     "In simple terms, you make fun of it."
     "Oh."
     "What's Mystery Science Theater 3000?" Lime asked. Just then, the signal to start blared.
     >OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH LET'S GET READY TO RUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMBBBBBBLLLLLEEEEEE!!!
     Everyone sweatdropped. "There's no time for that now, we've got a fic to blast!" yelled Andy.
     Luchs made an exploding noise. Everyone laughed as they exited the data center. The moment didn't last long, however - they crossed the corridor to the theater like prisoners headed for the gallows.

(The group entered the theater and sat down in the five seats in the middle of the first row. Bloodberry first, then Cherry, Andy, Lime and Luchs.)

LUCHS: I hope that this isn't too bad.
ANDY: Hope for the best, but expect the worst, and you won't be surprised by anything in between.
LIME: But what if something worse comes along?
CHERRY: Shh! The fic's starting!

> The Marionette Killers

BLOODBERRY: Next, on Japoness' Most Wanted: Killers who disguise themselves as marionettes after raiding the liquor store for some midnight snacks! (Everyone stares nervously at her) What?
ANDY (whispering to Cherry): Lime might not like this one...
CHERRY (also whispering): Why is that?
ANDY (still whispering): Because the author kills her off.
LIME: I heard that! What does the author have against kawaii, genki me?

> By Laichi

LIME: Bless you!
CHERRY: I don't think that the author sneezed, Lime.
ANDY: He isn't related to Tenchi, by any chance, is he?
LUCHS: Why do you say that?
ANDY: Laichi => Raichi = Thunder + Earth; Tenchi = Heaven + Earth
LUCHS: I think that there's no need for Freudian analysis of the author's name. (Sound of kyoshigi sticks banging rhythmically.)
BLOODBERRY: Perhaps the author means "Laichi" as in Lie, Cheat and Steal, but was hopped up on happy pills and couldn't get the name out right.

> Otaru lay

ANDY: An egg.
OTHERS (except Lime): EWWW!!
LIME (confused): How could he lay an egg? He's human, and I thought humans couldn't lay eggs...
(The sound of kyoshigi sticks smacking rhythmically is again heard in the background. Cherry sighs in exasperation.)
BLOODBERRY: Lie down before you hurt yourself thinking, Lime.

> in bed with his arms behind his head.

ANDY: Oh, well that's different.

> He was thinking

BLOODBERRY: About going to visit a hot springs resort with me.
CHERRY: What?! He would do no such thing!

> over the first year and a half since his marionettes, Lime, Cherry, and Bloodberry had
> been living with him.

ANDY: I hope that this takes place before Saber Marionette J Again...
LUCHS: Why would you hope for that?
ANDY: Because otherwise, you guys are going to learn some things about your future that you would be better off not knowing...

> He thought of

ANDY: Committing suicide because of all the stress they gave him, so he went and jumped off of the Japoness Fuji, splattering himself across miles of Terra 2's surface. THE END.
OTARU'S MARIONETTES: ANDY!!
ANDY (cluster of sweatdrops around his head): Sorry...

> the first time they awoke. Lime woke first.

LIME: I was born in the Japoness History Museum!
CHERRY: Yes Lime, we know.
LIME: I was born in the Japoness History Museum! Otaru woke me up!
OTHERS: Okay, okay! Enough already!
LIME: But I was -
LUCHS (putting her hand over Lime's mouth): Going to shut up.
OTHERS (bored): Yaay...

> She woke

BLOODBERRY: with a pounding headache, wondering who she was what she was doing there.
ANDY (Ryoga): Where the hell am I?!
CHERRY: Bloodberry, that sounds more like you after a wild sake binge.
(Bloodberry face-faults.)

> and was about to kiss him but a weird light shown

CHERRY: As opposed to "shone."
(Bloodberry gets back into her seat.)

> upon her and, oh, how she screamed

(Cherry screams.)
ANDY: SCREAMED!
(Cherry screams louder.)
(The others get large sweatdrops on their heads, but remain silent.)

> in what seemed like agony! Next came Cherry.

ANDY: That's the shortest lemon scene I've ever seen.
OTHERS: IT IS NOT A LEMON SCENE, YOU HENTAI!!!! (They proceed to pound the stuffing out of him before knocking him "into orbit.")
ANDY (as he disappears in a twinkle of light): Now I know how Hanagata feeeeeeeeeellllls!!!!!!!!
CHERRY: Did any of you feel the least bit guilty about that?
OTHERS (think for half a second): NO.
LIME: Ne, Cherry, what's a lemon scene?
(The others face-fault.)
CHERRY (as she and the others get back into their seats): Didn't Andy explain that once already?

> Otaru slammed into the wall,

BLOODBERRY (looks at the ceiling): Just like hentai-boy up there...
(A very bruised and bloody Andy falls back down into his seat.)
ANDY (badly shaken): oww...
CHERRY: And have we learned our lesson now?
ANDY: Let me think about it...(looks at the nasty looks on the marionette's faces) OK! OK! I'll be good now!
OTHERS: Good.

> waking her up. Then came Bloodberry. She was the first one he actually woke without
> it being a mistake. He woke her by his own free will.

BLOODBERRY: Free Willy! Send him home!
CHERRY: Bloodberry, that applies to you too!
BLOODBERRY (sweatdrops): Sorry...
LUCHS: Free Willy, indeed. Cut him loose!
ANDY (wincing in pain): Luchs! That was uncalled for!

> Well, ok, he was TOLD to wake her up.

ANDY: Yeah, during the exploding dummy Faust incident.
LIME: Heh. Dummy Faust. Faust the dummy...
LUCHS (darkly): Watch who you're talking about.

> But he had to admit, he did not regret waking them up;

ANDY (Adam Sandler as the horny mother): His cocknballs! (The others stare at him nervously - even Otaru in the fic.) What?

> whether he meant to or not!

LUCHS: Next, on Ripley's Believe it or Not!
CHERRY: Of course he meant it, Luchs! Why else would he have let us come here? (Goes into fantasy mode) Oh, Otaru-sama! To think that you would let us risk our lives for you makes me feel so...oh! But there are people watching, Otaru-sama!
ANDY (Large sweatdrop): Uh, Cherry, I think that you guys were the ones who booted him off the Japonessguar against his will...
CHERRY (coming out of her fantasy): Details, details.

> Otaru froze

LUCHS: to death, because the windows had been left open in the dead of winter. THE END.
OTHERS (except for Lime, bored): Yaay...
LIME: WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT OTARU?!

> as he heard the sound of his marionettes going to the kitchen to cook his breakfast. He
> didn't want them to know he was up.

ANDY: As that would've caused them to start arguing over who gets to "make a man" out of him.
BLOODBERRY: That, of course, would be me.
CHERRY: How dare you? The only one Otaru-sama will be together with is dear, sweet, wholesome, refined me!
LIME: Otaru's mine!
ANDY (puts his head in his hands and whimpers): What have I started?
LUCHS: Serves you right for your comments earlier.

> They were cooking!

CHERRY: Actually, only I was cooking, because I'm the only one allowed to touch the cooking implements.
ANDY: Because you're the only one who can cook.
LIME & BLOODBERRY: HEY!

> Otaru almost burst

LUCHS: A blood vessel, leading to massive internal hemorrhaging, which killed him en route to the hospital. THE END.
OTARU'S MARIONETTES: HEY!
ANDY: You want to start doing the dark parts from now on, Luchs?
LUCHS: I thought you'd never ask.

> out laughing when he remembered the first time Lime cooked -- it looked like a black,
> fuzzy caterpillar!

ANDY: But why would Lime want to cook a brand of construction equipment?
CHERRY: That was obscure.

> Otaru turned his head

ANDY: Otaru's masturbating?
OTHERS: HIS OTHER HEAD! GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!
MESOPOTAMIA (on a monitor that suddenly rises up in front of Andy's chair): >ONE MORE REMARK LIKE THAT AND YOU WILL PAY THE PENALTY. (Monitor lowers back into its hidden spot.)
ANDY (sweatdrops): So, I have a three-hentai-joke limit?
CHERRY: Even one is too much!

> to put his face in the pillow to laugh.

ANDY: And laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and la- (backfisted by Lime) *WHACK!*-OW!
LIME: Sorry, your track was skipping.
BLOODBERRY (one eyebrow arched): I guess he really does have a one-track mind...
(Sound of kyoshigi sticks banging rhythmically.)
ANDY (touching a hand to his nose): I didn't think I was into S&M...
OTHERS (warily): And why is that?
ANDY: I have a nosebleed...
(12 gallons of ice water are promptly dumped on Andy) *GOOOOSH!*
ANDY: C-c-c-c-c-c-c-co-l-d...
BLOODBERRY (slapping her forehead in disgust): We walked right into that one...
LUCHS (sweatdrops): I guess that's the penalty for exceeding the hentai joke limit.

> He stopped

LUCHS: Causing a 12-car pileup across three lanes of Japoness' main thoroughfare.
LIME (newsperson in traffic watch helicopter): That's right, Bob, its pandemonium out on the southbound section of the J-1 highway. Police have no idea what caused the 12-car accident that shut down all three lanes of the highway, but drivers are being detoured to other roads to compensate. In addition, a truck carrying hazardous materials has overturned, requiring the evacuation of nearby neighborhoods.
BLOODBERRY (shaking her head in disgust): Lime, you watch way too much TV.

> when he heard the sound of a pan CLANK on the kitchen floor. He heard Cherry, and
> Bloodberry shush Lime.

CHERRY & BLOODBERRY: Lime, be quiet! Otaru's trying to sleep. (They look at each other.) Hey, stop copying me!
LIME: But I didn't say anything!
LUCHS: Hey, did anyone notice the author trying to sneak an extraneous comma into that last sentence?
OTHERS: No.

> "Gomen nasai," Lime whispered.
>
> When all seemed quiet again, he went back to his thoughts.

BLOODBERRY: And now "Deep Thoughts" by Otaru Mamiya.
ANDY (starting to recover from the hypothermia): How did you know about that Saturday Night Live sketch?
CHERRY: What, you thought all records of Earth were destroyed?
ANDY: No, but...(considers his line of reasoning for a moment) nevermind.

> The guys would hate him if they knew he treated the marionettes with respect and
> dignity. He treated them like normal human beings.

CHERRY: I wonder how much of this Saber Marionette J the author has seen.
ANDY: You mean, because he ignores the fact that "the guys" started to take a liking to you three about halfway through the series?
LIME: We even got our own fan clubs! (Strikes an excessively kawaii pose) ^_~
CHERRY: Yeah, more or less.

> Haganna hated it to death too.

BLOODBERRY: That's the understatement of the century.

> Otaru shuddered as he thought of Hanagata's jealousy towards the Marionettes.

ALL (flatly): As do we all.

> Otaru could care less! "I love them!!" he admitted to himself.

LIME: WAI! Otaru admitted that he loves us! WAI! WAI! ^_^
LUCHS: Wow. I would've thought that it would be out of character for Mamiya to admit his true feelings for you guys, even to himself.
CHERRY: Then you don't know him very well, do you? (She grins knowingly.)

> His thoughts made him drift off to sleep again. He must have been asleep for a while,
> when he felt something get on his bed. He PRAYED it wasn't Hanagata!!!

BLOODBERRY: If it's Hana-ko, I'm going to nuke the author.
ANDY: Actually, it would be in character for it to be Onnagata. (Bloodberry face-faults. Otaru's other marionettes snicker at Andy's nickname for Hanagata.)

> He opened his eyes to see Lime leaning VERY close to his face, almost LIPS to LIPS!!

ANDY: And there was much rejoicing.
OTHERS (bored, Bloodberry getting back into her seat): Yaaay.

> Otaru jumped up with a yelp,

LUCHS: Because Lime had accidentally performed a "Bobbitectomy."
OTHERS (especially Andy, who squeezes his legs together in imagined pain): LUCHS!

> only to smack foreheads with Lime.

ANDY (Otaru as Moe of the Three Stooges): Spread out!
LIME (Curly of the Three Stooges): I'm a victim of soicomstance! N'yuck! N'yuck! N'yuck! N'yuck!
OTHERS: ..................

> "OW!" Lime rubbed her forehead. Otaru looked at Lime as he rubbed his forehead.

CHERRY: If this becomes a lemon scene, the author will die by my hand!

> "Why are you in my bed?"

BLOODBERRY (Xellos): I'm afraid THAT is a secret.
OTHERS: BLOODBERRY!
BLOODBERRY: What?!

> "They said I was too much trouble so they told me to go somewhere else."

ANDY (Otaru): The bathroom's that way! (Points in a random direction.)
(Andy is promptly beaten to a bloody pulp by the rest of the group.)

> Otaru shook his head.

CHERRY: It seems that even Otaru-sama is disgusted with Andy's last comment.

> "She's only just a little girl, in the end," he thought.

ALL: But what about the rest of her? (they break into insane laughter)

> He decided to let Lime sleep with him for a while.

(Otaru's marionettes glare at Andy with fists dangerously raised, as six energy daggers appear between Luchs' fingers.)
ANDY (cowering in his seat): ............
(The others relax.)
ANDY: Lime, you of all people should be happy about this. The author's letting you sleep with Otaru.
(Lime ducks out of the way as Luchs' daggers penetrate the seat around Andy as though he were in a knife-throwing act. They explode, sending him flying forward through the holo-screen and into the wall in back.)
ANDY (Luigi from Luigi's Mansion): OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW-OOF!
BLOODBERRY: And there was much rejoicing.
OTHERS (except Andy, bored): Yaaaaaaay.

> After just 7 minutes, the other marionettes, Bloodberry and Cherry, came in and
> screamed. Lime lay in bed with Otaru, and her head on his chest! The 2 girls jumped
> into Otaru's bed, fighting over who gets to hold him.

(Lime smiles serenely as the other Japoness marionettes glare at her. A melee ensues over the scene they're watching. In the midst of this, a toasty Andy returns from his punishment.)
ANDY (sweatdrops at the brawl): Did I miss something?
LUCHS: No, just a typical scene in the Mamiya household, from what I can gather.
ANDY (cluster of sweatdrops): Oh.

> After the close of what happened, the three marionettes sat Otaru down at the table to
> have him eat.

ANDY: So, "What Happened" is the name of a store?

> "That was great, guys - uh - girls!" Otaru complimented.

LIME (Lime from SMJ episode 12): But, I'm not a man.
LUCHS: Well, he did correct himself, didn't he?

> "Is there any bread and milk?" he asked.
> Cherry went right to the cupboard, and heaved a sigh.

ANDY: I didn't know that sighs were that heavy.
BLOODBERRY: They are when Cherry does them.
CHERRY: HEY!

> "We're fresh

ANDY: with Otaru, which is why he has all those nosebleeds.
BLOODBERRY (defiantly thrusting her chest out): Yeah, you know it! You wanna make something of it? ^_~

> out. I'll have to go to the store, and get some."

ANDY: I didn't know that stores in Japoness were used for that. (Holds up an umbrella that he pulled up out of nowhere just before the 12 gallons of ice water splashes down on him. It deflects the water onto the nearby marionettes, drenching them thoroughly).
LIME & CHERRY: HEY! THAT WASN'T NICE!
ANDY (imitating Lime's "victory sign"): Word.
(In canine fashion, Lime shakes off the water, soaking both Andy and Luchs.)

> Otaru nodded. "Why don't you take Bloodberry and Lime with you!"
>
> Cherry had a bit of discomfort in her eyes.

LIME: Wouldn't that hurt, though?
LUCHS: Wouldn't what hurt?
LIME: Having discomfort in one's eyes.
ANDY: I dunno. Inuyasha managed just fine with his father's grave in his eye.
BLOODBERRY: Well, that would be a rather grave circumstance.
(The kyoshigi sticks smack rhythmically once more.)

> She didn't want the girls to accompany her, but having them in her sight,

LUCHS (Cherry): I've got tone! Eagle 1, FOX 2!
(Others make noise of a missile firing and exploding against the imaginary opposing fighter jet. They then break into insane laughter.)

> and away from Otaru sounded great!

CHERRY: It doesn't just sound great, it is great!

> Cherry had her list in her hand, with the 2 girls walking behind her.
>
> "Let's see, milk, cheese, um, bread...."

LIME: Papaya, watermelon, green beans...
CHERRY: nori, senbei, natto...
BLOODBERRY: tabasco, salt, vodka...
LUCHS: tofu, falafel, soybean paste...
ANDY: Soylent Green, super glue, Vegemite... (Everyone stares at him nervously.) What?

> Lime ended wandering off to a stand.

LUCHS: Damn, they killed her off quick. Oh well, I guess that's the end of the fic.
OTHERS (Except Lime, bored): Yaay.
LIME: BOO!
ANDY: Not yet! There's still more to the story!
OTHERS: Oh, fiddlesticks!

> "Hey there, you pretty Marionette!" the guy greeted.
>
> Lime laughed as a greeting.

CHERRY: Wait a minute, why would Lime use laughter to greet someone? Wouldn't she just say "HAO?"
ANDY: Perhaps she was embarrassed by the guy's compliment.
LUCHS: I'm embarrassed by this fanfic.
LIME: I don't like this fanfic.
BLOODBERRY: Why is that? We haven't seen how it ends.
LIME: It doesn't matter. (Points an accusatory finger at Andy) HE spoiled the ending!
ANDY (muttering to himself): Well, I didn't say how she was going to die, per se.

> "Would you like to come back inside, to see all the great stuff we have!"

CHERRY: The guy said, forgetting proper punctuation of questions.

> Lime nodded her head vigorously.

LUCHS: So vigorously, that her head fell off of her body.
OTHERS: LUCHS!

> "WHERE'S LIME!!!" Bloodberry shouted.

CHERRY: So now Bloodberry is forgetting how to punctuate questions, too.
(Bloodberry mutters darkly under her breath as she aims a nasty glance in Cherry's direction.)

> Cherry froze.

BLOODBERRY: Apparently, Hana-ko had tried to bare his chest for her again.

> "I - I

CHERRY (recalling the imagery of Hanagata's bare chest): I'm so shocked that I can't say anything!
ANDY (Pikachu): PIKA!

> thought she was right behind you!"
> Bloodberry held up her clinched fist.

LUCHS (Bloodberry as Lucy from Peanuts): This is your responsibility, you know.
ANDY (Cherry as Linus from Peanuts): Give me one good reason why that would be.
LUCHS (Bloodberry as Lucy from Peanuts): I'll give you five good reasons - (balls up her hand in a fist one finger at a time as she counts) one, two, three, four, five.
ANDY (Cherry as Linus from Peanuts): Those are good reasons.

> "We can't return home without Lime! Otaru would be soooo pisted off!"

CHERRY: Well, of course Otaru's "pisted" off at Bloodberry - she misspelled "pissed off!"
ANDY (Otaru): Dammit Bloodberry! Why can't you spell "pissed off?"
(Lime giggles. Bloodberry glares at both Andy and Cherry.)

> They came to the same stand where Lime was at recently.

LIME: How did I get to "recently?" I thought I was at the stand.

> "Did you ever see a girl with a yellow hat, and a red ball on top?" Cherry questioned.

BLOODBERRY (Cherry): Kinda goofy-looking, not too bright, says (imitating Lime) "UWE?" a lot.
(Lime makes a face at Bloodberry - you know the one, sticking her tongue out with a finger pulling down on her lower eyelid.)

> "Sure.

ANDY (singing from old Sure™ deodorant commercial): Raise your hand - Raise your hand if you're Sure™!

> She's right back inside."

LUCHS (kidnapper): But please ignore the fact that she's bound and gagged.
LIME (kidnapper as Wizard of Oz): Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!

> Both Marionettes heaved a sigh of satisfaction.

ANDY & LUCHS (Bloodberry and Cherry): OK, we throw the sigh on three - one, two, THREE! (They make a motion as if hurling something heavy.)
CHERRY: Didn't you just do that joke a few minutes ago?
ANDY: So?

> "I'm going to kill that girl!"

LIME: Why would they want to hurt Lorelei? (Everyone else sweatdrops.)
BLOODBERRY: Lime, you're thinking way too hard.

> They went right inside, only to be nabbed and tied down by 2 guys.

ANDY: Well, this is a reversal of the stereotypical guy's view of married life.
OTHERS (cluster of sweatdrops): ............

> Otaru opened the door at the sound of the doorbell.

ANDY (Hanagata): Hello dearest! (Smacked by Bloodberry, sending him flying over into the next row of seats.)
BLOODBERRY: Sorry, you sounded just like Hana-ko.
ANDY (getting back in his seat, rubbing his head): I think that was the point.

> "Hello dearest!"
>
> Hanagata stood there with a bunch of roses.

ALL (large sweatdrops hovering near their heads): ............
ANDY: Wow, I'm psychic!
LIME (Jamaican accent): Call Miss Cleo today for your free psychic reading!

> Otaru slammed the door, locked it, and set his table, bed, and furniture in front of the
> door.

CHERRY: Same old, same old.
LUCHS: And there was much rejoicing.
OTHERS (bored): Yaaay.

> The doorbell sounded again.

ALL: I'LL GET IT! (They break into insane laughter again.)

> Otaru cautiously removed the stuff, and opened the door. There was a bottle with a note
> in it.

ANDY (singing way out of tune): If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I'd like to do is to save everyday until Eternity passes away just to spend them with you...
CHERRY (throws disgusted glance in Andy's direction): You're enjoying this, aren't you?
ANDY: Why, yes, you could say that.
CHERRY (under her breath): You are a masochist.
ANDY: What?
CHERRY: Nothing!

> Otaru picked it up, and read it:

LUCHS: But he couldn't read a single word of it.
ANDY (Otaru): Dammit! If only I hadn't skipped out on school!
OTARU'S MARIONETTES: HEY!!!

> Dear Marionette keeper,
>
> You have 6 hours to free your Marionettes before they.....

LIME: Are forced to listen to boring university lectures until the end of time?
CHERRY: Are covered in chocolate sauce and set before a ravenous mother Ponta-kun?
BLOODBERRY: Are tied up and forced to watch Hanagata have wild monkey sex with Otaru? (Considers her words.) AAARRRGGGH!
LUCHS: Are forced to watch bad SMJ fanfiction for all eternity? (Considers her words as well.) D'oh!
ANDY: Are forced to be a part of a bad lemon fanfic involving Yumeji, whipped cream and a double-ended dildo? (The others turn green and look like they're about to throw up.)
CHERRY: URP-Why did you have to say that?!
BLOODBERRY: Yeah, don't give the other authors any ideas!

> let's just say something bad will happen to them.

LUCHS: That's not very specific.
ANDY: Yeah, we could think of worse.
CHERRY (flatly): You mean you could think of worse.

> Directions are on another page.

ANDY: You know, real kidnappers/terrorists/etc. would be hesitant to provide a map to their front door. I mean, they might as well have targets painted on their base of operations!
BLOODBERRY: Andy, you of all people should know that anime villains want the hero to come to them so that they can gloat about how their "master plan" is going off without a hitch, and that the final piece is to defeat/destroy the hero.
ANDY: So? That's just poor research on the part of the creators.
BLOODBERRY: A media that regularly violates the laws of physics, and you expect it to match reality?

> Sincerely,
>
> The Marionette Killers

CHERRY: And real villains wouldn't close ransom notes with "Sincerely."

> Otaru knew nothing more

OTARU'S MARIONETTES (glaring at Andy and Luchs): Not one word about Otaru's education, you two!
ANDY (Lime): Aww, you're no fun.

> than just pure rage come over him. Otaru ran all the way to the place the Marionette
> killers said, and he ran with pure blind rage!

CHERRY: That was a rather cumbersome sentence.
OTHERS: Ouch.
ANDY: And the author neglected to capitalize "Killers."
OTHERS: Double ouch.
LUCHS: And the narration lost its emotional detachment.
OTHERS: Triple ouch.

> How dare they kidnap HIS Marionettes! Oh, they are so going to get it!

LIME (kid): You big bully! I'm telling teacher on you!
LUCHS (bully, sarcastic): Ooh! I'm scared! What can she do?!

> He ran without knowing

LUCHS: where he was going. He didn't notice the edge of the cliff until it was too late, and plunged to his death. THE END.
OTARU'S MARIONETTES: LUCHS!

> the sharp pains in the sides of his lungs. He could care less! It was his marionettes that
> were in danger!

BLOODBERRY: Otaru runs in, nukes the bad guys, rescues the marionettes, and then goes off to have wild monkey sex with yours truly. THE END.
ANDY & LUCHS: You wish.
CHERRY: Don't you start in on that again! Otaru-sama only has eyes for me!
LIME: Otaru's mine!
ANDY (exasperated sigh): Here we go again!

> He came to what looked like an abandoned factory. Otaru's memory flashed

ANDY: GAH! It's bad enough that Hanagata flashes people, but Otaru's memory as well? (The marionettes' stares are so cold that he actually freezes. A cold wind blows through the theater.) BRRRRR! And I thought Pittsburgh winters were bad!

> back to when he was small. THIS is where they made the first marionettes!

LUCHS: Damn, Otaru looks good for 300 years old! What's his secret? (The others stare nervously at her, but remain silent.) What?

> Otaru stormed in.

LIME (weather forecaster): Let's look at the forecast for tomorrow. Highs are expected to be in the 30s with clear skies for most of the day, but we expect that a low-pressure system, bringing in Otaru storms will move in around 6 PM tomorrow. Overnight lows will be in the mid- to upper-20s.

> 3 guys stood.

LIME: 3 guys fell.
CHERRY: I know Otaru-sama studied martial arts, but I never would've guessed that he was that good!

> One was small and fat, the 2nd was a medium and VERY thin, the last was a very tall
> and muscular man holding a club.

ANDY: It's the Three Stooges! (The others stare at him nervously.) What?

> In 3 tubes behind them was.....

LUCHS: The author, in three pieces because he used "was" when he should've used "were."

> his marionettes, Lime, Cherry, Bloodberry.

LUCHS: And there was much rejoi-
OTARU'S MARIONETTES: NO, THERE WAS NOT!

> They could only stand straight up, with no room to move. This was very cruel!

LUCHS: Because each one had a pole up her @$$.
OTARU'S MARIONETTES: LUCHS!
ANDY: But that's not saying much in Cherry's case. (Andy is promptly sent flying into the far wall with a smack from Cherry's frying pan.) *WHACK!* Wendy, I can fly!

> The 3 bastards said nothing, and pressed a button, which triggered the gallons of water
> pouring into the 3 tubes! Lime's came on first, then Cherry's (after the water was up to
> Lime's knees), then Bloodberry's started when the water was up to Cherry's knees, and
> Lime's waist!

ANDY (Returning to his seat): Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink! (The others get large sweatdrops on their heads.)

> "You can only choose 1 to set free!" the fat, short one exclaimed.

LUCHS (Anne Robinson): Who left their brains at home? It's time to vote off the weakest link!

> Otaru got steaming!

BLOODBERRY: What, is Shampoo narrating now?

> The tall, muscular guy handed Otaru his club.

ANDY (singing): This comes in handy a lot of the time (detachable penis)
I can leave it home when I think it's gonna get me in trouble (detachable penis)
Or I can rent it out when I don't need it (detachable penis)
(The others turn to stone. Bloodberry is the first to recover.)
BLOODBERRY: I don't think you hit him hard enough, Cherry.

> "The tubes will smash with this." he explained.

ANDY (person pitching The Club™): Yes folks, that's right. Not only will The Club™ protect your car from being stolen, but it can also be used to rescue your precious Maiden Circuit-equipped marionettes from the clutches of foul evildoers! And not only that, you can multitask your meetings dynamically at the touch of a button! (The others stare at him nervously, even the characters in the fanfic.) What?

> Otaru approached the 3 girls. Which one?

ANDY: That is the question that everyone has been asking ever since Otaru woke them up.
LUCHS: And it seems that that is one of the things that Man Was Not Meant to Know™.

> Lime had the most scared look on her face, her child-features were gone,

CHERRY (Otaru): Well Lime, you finally grew up!
(Lime glares at Cherry, but says nothing.)

> only the look like this was the end, this made Otaru almost cry.

ALL (singing): This is the end...my only friend. The End.
MESOPOTAMIA (on monitor that rises up from the floor in front of everyone): YOU WISH. (The monitor lowers back into its hidden space beneath the floor.)

> Otaru picked up the club, swung it behind him, and the 3 guys went flying into a pile of
> poles.

ANDY (Dias from Star Ocean EX): KUUHAZAN! (The others look at him with confused looks on their faces.) Well, it never said that the club made physical contact, did it?
LIME (Bill Murray's character from Ghostbusters): Woah! Actual physical contact!

> Otaru looked back at the 3 marionettes, smashed Bloodberry's tube first, then Cherry's.
> He hit Lime's, but it wouldn't smash! He tried again, but it wouldn't smash open!

CHERRY: You know, there's a run-on sentence in there somewhere.
LUCHS: Not to mention the fact that the author just contradicted himself by allowing both Cherry and Bloodberry to be freed when one of the Marionette Killers had explicitly stated that Mamiya could only set one free.

> "NO! LIME! NO!"

LIME: Who's speaking to me?

> The water was up to Lime's neck! Otaru slammed his fist against the tube, but it would
> not break!

BLOODBERRY: Well, guess which one the author decided to kill off.
(Lime begins to glow green with intense emotion.)
ANDY (nervously, trying to calm Lime down): Lime, settle down. It's only a fic.
(The glow begins to fade, but Lime still has a rather pissed off expression on her face.)

> "LIME!"

BLOODBERRY (Lime from SMJ episode 9): Haaaaaaaaaaai? ^_^*

> She's going to drown! The water was already up and over Lime's head!

ANDY (Indiana Jones): Willie, we are going to die!
(Lime begins glowing again.)
LIME (muttering to herself about the author): Baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka!

> Otaru burst

LUCHS: into flames, providing Japoness' first recorded case of spontaneous combustion in humans.
OTARU'S MARIONETTES: HEY!
(The glow around Lime intensifies.)

>into tears.

LUCHS (sweatdrops): Oh. I stand corrected.

> "Cherry! Do you have a drill?!"

ANDY (Cherry): How rude! Otaru-sama should know better than to ask such disgusting personal questions! (Extends his umbrella again, expecting the water to come from above as it had the previous two times. However, he gets a face-full of ice water from a massive hose that has suddenly risen up from a secret compartment, sending him flying into the back wall of the theater.)

> The desperation in Otaru's voice was enough to make even the coldest person start
> crying.

LUCHS (singing): Don't cry for me, Argentina! The truth is, I never left you!
CHERRY: In this case, the coldest person is currently Andy.
BLOODBERRY: Nah, he's just all wet.
(Another round of kyoshigi goodness ensues. Lime continues to get more and more pissed at the author, the green glow now at levels painful to behold.)

> Cherry took out her drill, and started drilling the tube. It didn't even last a second when
> it broke!

ANDY (returning to his seat, still recovering from a new round of hypothermia): Cherry has now become Inspector Gadget.
LUCHS (Cherry as Inspector Gadget): Go go Gadget Drill!
ANDY (kidnapper as Dr. Claw): Gadget!
BLOODBERRY: At least it's not that friggin' stethoscope that she uses to hack into foreign computers.

> "LIME! NO THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!"

(Lime's anger explodes, shocking both Andy and Luchs. Andy gets the worst of it due to his earlier drenching.)
ANDY & LUCHS: OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!

> Otaru pounded his fists on the tube,

ANDY (extra crispy): Otaru, this is no time to be "bashing the bishop!" Lime is going to die if you don't do something! (Lime pounds him to a bloody pulp.)
LUCHS (sweatdrops): Um, Lime, shouldn't you be saving that for the author?
CHERRY: I think he deserved every bit of it and more! (exasperated) Kami-sama, why did we have to get stuck with such a pervert?!

> with tears streaming down his face.

LUCHS: Welcome to www.Otarucries.com, with 24 million channels of live streaming video!

> "L-Lime." he whispered. He looked up at her, and she had her face to Otaru's. Her face
> told him not to be guilty.

BLOODBERRY (judge): On the charge of criminal negligence leading to the death of a marionette, how do you find the defendant?
CHERRY (jury foreman): We find the defendant guilty, your honor.
LIME: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

> She coughed up this black-reddish fluid, and was no more.

LUCHS (Lime dying, looking at the "black-reddish" fluid): Hey, I think I see my lungs in there!
OTHERS: LUCHS!

> Otaru snapped!

LUCHS: You know, humans are very fragile like that.
OTARU'S MARIONETTES: HEY!

> He pounded the glass, not wanting to accept the fact of what happened.

OTHERS (glaring at Andy): Not one word, hentai-boy!
(Andy sweatdrops, but says nothing.)

> He closed his eyes and saw Lime laughing, and hugging him. His Lime always will be
> his Lime.

ALL (except Andy): Unless Andy is narrating, in which case his Lime will become his lemon.
ANDY: HEY!

> The End

ALL (except Andy): It's finally over! (They begin heading towards the exit).
ANDY: Not yet! The author still has some final thoughts to add!
OTHERS: WE DON'T CARE! (They exit the theater. Andy stays behind to MST the final words.)

> *

ANDY: Funny, that's the rating I would give it.

> I hope u guys don't kill me for that!

ANDY: If I can keep a tight rein on Lime, I think we'll be able to manage something. YOU, however, might want to invest in bodyguards because of the legions of Lime fanboys who are likely to put a hit out on you.

> Remember, it's only a fan fic! No harm done, right?

ANDY: Other than some permanent mental scarring, no.

> Heh. ^.^()

ANDY: That's not how you sweatdrop! This is how you sweatdrop —>^_^*

> well, u can tell me what u think what u e-mail me to:

ANDY: The last time I checked, it's rather difficult to send an actual person through e-mail.

> laichi16@yahoo.com

ANDY: Flame away, boys! (Exits the theater.)

     Upon exiting the theater, Andy finds the gang talking amongst themselves. Upon seeing him, they immediately turn their backs to him.
     "Hey guys, what's up?" he asks.
     The others glare at him. "What?" He declared indignantly.
     It was Cherry who deigned to speak to him first. "Really, Andy! I found many of your comments during the fic to be quite inappropriate! Did you really think that such perverted comments would impress us, or make a bad fic better?"
     A large sweatdrop hovered near Andy's head. "Oh, that? That's my fault. I should've warned you guys that I am a closet pervert. It tends to come out whenever I see stuff that lends itself to perverted commentary. If it bothers you guys that much, I'll try to tone it down."
     "Please, do so," Cherry said in a stern tone of voice.
     "Now, if that's over with, we need to start planning how to rescue Lorelei so that we can rebuild the Wormhole Transit Drive and get back to our respective time periods."
     "And just why should we help you?" Lime pouted.
     "Because if I can get back to my own time, you won't have to put up with me anymore," Andy replied.
     "Oh. Well then, that is something worth striving for!" Lime exclaimed with pure joy returning to her child-like features.
     Oh, man. I think I just blew it with these guys. Andy thought morosely.

Outro: A Moment of Zen

ANDY (singing): This comes in handy a lot of the time (detachable penis)
I can leave it home when I think it's gonna get me in trouble (detachable penis)
Or I can rent it out when I don't need it (detachable penis)
(The others turn to stone. Bloodberry is the first to recover.)
BLOODBERRY: I don't think you hit him hard enough, Cherry.

Preview of Next Time:

     Yoo-hoo! I'm Lime! We've survived the first fanfic that the Mesopotamia had to throw at us! But that doesn't mean that we can let our guard down yet! We've got another fanfic to watch! Huh? The author of this fic gets me pregnant? But I'm a marionette. How can that be possible? Next time, on Andy's Null-Space: "MST #2: "Denied Feeling's." Otaru, DAAAAAA~I SUKI!

Assessment of fanfic for the Author:

ANDY: Well, other than minor grammar and spelling errors and the occasional tendency to have the narrator take on Otaru's emotions, there's nothing technically wrong with this fic. However, as a Lime-obsessed fan, I would recommend against writing about such things in the future. The fact that I got shock therapy from her for this didn't help either!

LIME: Why did you do it? Did I do something to make you mad? Do you really hate me that much?

CHERRY: Thank you so much for giving Andy an opportunity to bring his pervert side out of the closet! That alone is enough to make me want to do things to you that I shouldn't even contemplate.

BLOODBERRY: That was kinda boring. Write something about Otaru 'n me getting it on! (Hit by Cherry.) *WHAP!* OW!

LUCHS: Well, I suppose it could've been worse...

Author's Notes:

     Well, there it is - my first MST. I'd really appreciate comments on my MST style and on the story arc. This will make it easier when I get around to the next MST. I will freely admit that I am one of Lime's "legions of fanboys," which was one of the primary considerations for making this my inaugural MST. A similar decision process was used to pick the fic that I am MSTing next time. So until then, this is Andy Baker signing off!

MST #1: "The Marionette Killers" OWARI