Andy Baker's Null Space: The MSTs
MST #3: "Typical Day"

Disclaimer: If you're a regular of the fanfiction community, you know the drill. With the notable exception of the use of myself as a character, I do not own the characters in this work of fiction - the SMJ characters belong to Satoru Akahori, Tsukasa Kotobuki, Sotsu Agency, TV Tokyo, etc. The character Washu is property of Pioneer LDC, AIC and Kajishima Masaki. Any other copyrighted material referenced is the property of the original copyright holders. Also, I made a few...er..."modifications" to the "Theme From Gilligan's Island," so I apologize in advance to the people who own the copyrights to that... This work is intended purely for entertainment purposes, and no profit is or should be made off of it, as that would be piracy worthy of sending the perpetrator to a federal pound-me-in-the-@$$ prison.

Warnings: This fanfic contains humor and/or situations that may be considered inappropriate for children under a certain age (approximately equivalent to an R-rated movie). If you are underage, or if the subject matter offends you, and you decide to ignore this warning, I cannot be held responsible. It also contains spoilers for the end of Saber Marionette J.

And now, on with the show!!!

MST #3: "Typical Day" HAJIMARU

Intro: "Theme from Andy's Null Space"

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
The strangest tale by far
From the far future on an all-male world
Aboard Japonessguar.

If the girls had simply sat and stared,
Their loved ones would surely die.
Six androids had blasted off that day
To rescue Lorelei, to rescue Lorelei.

The girls had made it safely aboard,
The rogue AI went nuts,
It caused the Wormhole Drive to overload
And lost the ship in flux, and lost the ship in flux.

The ship was now stuck inside this unknowable null space
With Raimu-chan, The Otaku,
The Saber Doll and Cherry,
With Bloodberry
Th' Universe's Greatest Genius, Here in Andy's Null Space.

     The would be heroes and impromptu MST group gathered once again in the data center across from the holo-theater that had played host to their two previous torture sessions. Andy, Lime and Bloodberry looked on anxiously as Cherry and Luchs attempted to hack into the Mesopotamia's security system.
     "How long is this supposed to take?" Bloodberry asked for the sixteenth time.
     "It would go faster if you'd quit pestering us. We've reached the critical part of the security protocols, and need all our wits about us if we're to successfully hack the system." Cherry replied, her fingers a blur over the keypad.
     "Ne, Andy, I'm hungry." Lime said. The child-like marionette was tugging on Andy's shirtsleeve.
     "Oh? Then why don't we go get you something to eat?" the American otaku and de facto leader said.
     "Can't this wait until after we've rescued Lorelei?" challenged Bloodberry. "The galley's not exactly right next door, and it won't be long until our information warfare specialists gain access to Lorelei's lab."
     "It's not like we're going to Xi'an, Bloodberry. We'll be back in plenty of time." Andy reassured her.
     Bloodberry, however, was nonplused. "Still, you don't have to accompany her. In spite of her childish behavior, she can fend for herself."
     "That's okay. I'm sure she could use the company." Andy turned to the form beside him. "Isn't that right, Lime?"
     "Right!" The blue-haired marionette declared before dashing out the door with Andy in tow.
     Bloodberry stared at the closing door with a large sweatdrop hovering nearby. She's such a child sometimes. Maybe Andy can help bring some maturity to her.
     Out in the corridor, Andy and Lime walked in silent contemplation as the squeaking of Lime's shoes reverberated all around. Andy was fixated on the ground ahead of him, while Lime's focus shifted from place to place in their grim, utilitarian surroundings. They were about halfway to the galley when Lime addressed something that had been on her mind.
     "Ne, Andy, what's Lorelei like?"
     "Lorelei? Hmm... She's not a particularly active character in the series, so I don't know too much about her personality. However, your Maiden Circuits were supposedly based on her personality, so I'd imagine that you guys resemble her in personality as much as you do physically."
     Lime considered that for a moment. "Really? I hadn't thought about that. Thanks!" She graced him with one of her gigawatt smiles.
     "No problem," Andy said with an embarrassed laugh.
     "Do you think we'll get to meet her soon?"
     "Yeah, as soon as we get through the Mesopotamia's security measures."
     "You're right. Race 'ya to the kitchen!" And with that, she took off down the corridor.
     "Hey, wait!" Andy said giving chase. A few seconds later he arrived at the galley. He looked around, but couldn't find Lime anywhere. She must've run past it without realizing. Heh, she has as much situational awareness as I do! Stepping back into the corridor, he saw a multi-colored blur heading his direction. "Oi! Lime! Get back here!" He shouted. She was about to blow past the galley again when he grabbed her by the collar of her bodysuit and dragged her inside.
     "Oops! I ran past my destination again!" she said with an embarrassed laugh.
     "That's why you should pay attention to where you're going." Andy said with a large sweatdrop on his face. Still, he couldn't help but chuckle at her antics. "Now, let's get something to eat."
     "Okay!"
     After a few moments of looking around the expansive galley, they found a strange looking device embedded in the wall. There was an opening in the device about a cubic foot in volume, the purpose of which was unclear. A keypad and monitor stood nearby. The monitor displayed a list in multiple languages, which Andy read aloud.
     "Katsudon, Shrimp Tempura, Rice omelet, Philly Cheesesteak Sandwitch, Chicken Quesadillas...If I didn't know any better, I'd say this looks like a cheap knockoff of a Star Trek replicator."
     Lime cocked her head to the side, a look of complete bafflement etched on her face. "Repli-what?"
     "A replicator. It's a really high tech device that creates food and other items out of...well...nothing." Andy knew he was oversimplifying, but he couldn't think of any other way to explain the device to Lime. "But why would it be aboard the Mesopotamia? Wouldn't such a device be beyond the ability of 22nd century technology?"
     "Does it matter?" Lime asked. "It makes food, and I'm still hungry!"
     "Good point," Andy replied. "I suppose it's worth a shot. At the risk of being cliché..." His next words were directed at the replicator. "Tea, Earl Gray. Hot." He was rewarded a few moments later when a cup of hot tea materialized in the opening.
     Now that they were sure that the device worked, they proceeded to load up on food. Lime, in particular, seemed determined to try out every selection on the menu. They sat down and ate their food. Well, Andy ate, anyway. Lime was "consuming mass quantities of food" at a rate that would've made Beldar green with envy. Andy was finishing off the last of his katsudon when Cherry's voice broke in on the PA system.
     "Lime, Andy, we're ready to go."
     "Roger that. We'll be right there," Andy replied. He turned to Lime. "You heard Cherry. Let's go!"
     "Right!" Lime said with a nod. They rushed out of the galley and caught up with the rest of the group a few moments later, at which point the group set out for Lorelei's lab.

     The group stood in a large open room connected to the lab where Lorelei was being held in stasis by a long corridor. They had spotted several more copies of the monstrosity that had taken out Tamasaburo/Ieyasu and Baiko/Hikozaemon.
     Bloodberry swore under her breath. "We were lucky to survive an encounter with just one of those things. How can we possibly hope to take out another 10?"
     "Carefully, very carefully" Andy deadpanned. Bloodberry briefly considered crippling him when she saw the look on his face that said he was being facetious, but thought better of it.
     "Seriously, smart guy, how do you propose we deal with them?" she asked tensely.
     "We'll have to rely on stealth rather than brute force. We-" he was cut off by an announcement from the Mesopotamia.
     > THE NEXT FANFIC HAS BEEN SELECTED. RETURN TO THE THEATER FOR VIEWING.
     "Well, so much for the stealth option" Bloodberry declared. "We'll have to force our way through them anyway!" She darted in the direction of the lab and its guardians. Suddenly, she froze halfway to the nearest guardian due to an unknown force.
     "Bloodberry!" Lime and Cherry cried out in unison.
     "Bloodberry! What's going on?" Andy exclaimed.
     "I...can't...move!" Bloodberry gasped out in the midst of her struggle. "Something's...controlling me!"
     "What? How?" Cherry asked. She and Lime ran to help their red-haired compatriot, but they also got caught by the unseen force.
     "NO!" Andy shouted, and began to run after them. However, he was grabbed from behind by Luchs, who pressed one of her energy knives to his throat. "Luchs, what're you doing?!"
     "It's not me! I'm trying...to fight it, but something's...overriding my circuits!" the Saber Doll said through clenched teeth.
     Andy thought frantically for a moment. He then looked at the way Luchs had grabbed him, and had an epiphany. "Luchs, this is going to hurt me more than it does you, but it has to be done..."
     "What are you talking about?" she demanded, lowering her guard slightly, but still keeping one hand on his collar.
     The set-up was too perfect. Andy probed the depths of his Kuk Sool training for his most recent set of techniques: Dee Eue Bohk Soo. How appropriate, Andy thought. The techniques most appropriate to my situation were the ones I just learned before getting dragged into this mess. Of the 23 techniques in the set, he chose one of the three that applied to the way Luchs was grabbing him. He swung his left hand to chop at Luchs' side.
     "What're you doing?" Luchs cried as the blow landed.
     Unfortunately for Andy, his warning proved to be truer than he could've possibly imagined. He spent the next minute hopping around the room anime-style clutching at his hand in agony.
     Luchs sweatdropped. "You weren't kidding when you said that would hurt you more than it would me..."
     "Shut up." Andy intoned before passing out from the pain. Then the Mesopotamia spoke again.
     > I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GO TO THE THEATER. GET GOING NOW!
     Whether they wanted to or not, the marionettes were headed back to the theater, under the control of the mysterious force. Luchs was dragging an unconscious Andy behind her.
     When they got to the theater, they found a young woman with spiky red hair waiting for them.
     "Ah, good. You're all here" the woman said with aplomb.
     "Like we had a choice" Bloodberry growled.
     "Ah, yes. That would be my latest invention" the woman replied smugly. "A body control circuit that I installed in you four before your last MST."
     "Body control circuit?" the marionettes asked, with large sweatdrops hovering nearby.
     "Yes, my latest invention. It's a circuit that allows me to override your motor functions and control them remotely" the woman replied. Her eyes took on a mischievous sparkle. "Yet more proof of my status as the Universe's Greatest Genius!" She broke out into peals of laughter as two little mecha versions of herself appeared out of nowhere and praised her "shimmering genius." The marionettes tried to decide whether to sweatdrop or face-fault. Andy chose that particular moment to regain consciousness.
     "Dr. Washu, I presume?" he inquired of the crimson haired scientist on a massive ego trip.
     The woman paused her ego massage to look at the source of the new voice. "I prefer to be called 'Washu-chan.' You should know that, after having seen Tenchi Universe."
     "How do you know about..." Andy trailed off, letting the question die on his tongue. "Never mind that. What are you doing here, Washu? I thought you were still trying to 'extract samples' from Tenchi."
     Washu smacked her forehead in disgust. She muttered under her breath. "Yeesh! You try something new just once, and suddenly everyone and his dog thinks it's standard operating procedure for you. Worse, every two-bit lemon writer makes it a prominent feature of their trashy rags!" Looking at Andy, she spoke at a normal volume, her voice exuding sugarcoated venom. "Eh, I got tired of trying of chasing after someone who wouldn't come willingly."
     Andy smirked at the unintended double-enterde. Washu bopped him on the head. "Not like that, you hentai!"
     "Get used to it, Washu-chan," Cherry said in disgust. "He's been like that ever since our first MST."
     "Yes, I noticed" Washu replied sardonically. "Anyway, I was bored, so I started spying on other places in the multiverse when I stumbled upon your situation. Did you know that the Mesopotamia was really pissed off when you five didn't break after that first fanfic?"
     "We gathered as much" Bloodberry snorted.
     Washu nodded. "Well, when I saw that, I thought to myself 'Now here's a chance to relieve my boredom.' And so, here I am!"
     Andy shook his head in disbelief. "So you're going to play Dr. Forrester to our Mike Nelson, Tom Servo and Crow?"
     "In a manner of speaking, yes."
     Cherry sighed. "So what's on the agenda this time?" she asked.
     Washu smirked. "You're just going to have to find that out! Bur first, since we are now officially an MSTing group, we need a catchy name."
     "Ahem...'we'?" Luchs and Bloodberry intoned suspiciously.
     "Yeah, I'm going to be in the control booth monitoring the fic and your reactions to it."
     Everyone sweatdropped. "I see..." Andy said flatly. "And just what is this catchy name you're going to give us?
     Washu thought for a moment. "I've got it! This group's name shall be…The Null Space Players!"
     All the others shed waterfalls of tears. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" They wailed in unison.
     "Okay, okay. Bad idea." Washu said with a large cluster of sweatdrops. "Let's try another one: The Null Space MSTers!"
     The others thought about it for a moment. "Well...I guess it could work..." they said grudgingly.
     "Then it is done!" Washu intoned grandly. This group is now known as "The Null Space MSTers!" Washu's puppets returned to stroke her ego once more. At that moment, the signal to start blared.
     > GOOD EXCEL, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR THE MURDER OF BAD EXCEL!
     Everyone face-faulted. Lime was the first to recover. "It's fanfic time!" she cried as everyone ran for the theater.

(The newly dubbed MST group enters the theater and sits down in the usual order: Bloodberry, Cherry, Andy, Lime, and Luchs. Washu enters the newly installed control booth.)

ANDY: Of all the MST groups in all the multiverse, why did Washu have to experiment on ours?
LIME: She seems nice. If it weren't for that body control thingy, we could almost be friends.
ANDY: Famous last words.
CHERRY: Never mind that, the fic's starting!

> Anothere

BLOODBERRY: Cherry, where's the enemy coming from?
CHERRY: Ano...THERE! (Points in a random direction.)
WASHU (from control booth): HEY!
CHERRY (large sweatdrop): Whoops! Sorry, Washu-chan!
WASHU (from control booth, with a large sweatdrop): Next time, watch where you're pointing!

> typical day for Otaru and his Marionette's!!!

LUCHS: I have a question. Why was the description on fanfiction.net included?
ANDY: Don't ask me, ask the Mesopotamia.
LIME: Ano...is there supposed to be an apostrophe in "marionettes"?
OTHERS: No.
LIME: Oh.

> TYPICAL DAY!

BLOODBERRY: Yes, we know that already. Get on with it!

> By Kenji Ohgami

ANDY (Ryoga): Damn you, Kenji Ohgami! Because of you, I've seen hell!
LIME: Ummm...shouldn't you wait to see the fic first before picking on the author?
CHERRY: We're being called to MST it, are we not? Besides, he's already committed some egregious spelling errors.
LIME: Oh.

> Otaru was trying to peacefully watch tv one day

CHERRY: TV should be capitalized.

> until the usual happened!

ANDY: Hanagata wakes everyone up in yet another pathetic attempt to get into Otaru's pants before taking his umpteenth trip to orbit courtesy of Marionette Airlines. At breakfast, Cherry goes into one of her perverted fantasies when Otaru compliments her cooking, while Lime hoovers her food and Bloodberry schemes to "make a real man out of Otaru."
OTARU'S MARIONETTES: HEY!
WASHU (from control booth): The truth hurts. Andy 1, Otaru's Marionettes 0.
ANDY: And I thought it was bad form for a scientist to get involved in her experiment. Something about the Hawthorne effect... (Washu sweatdrops, but says nothing.)

> Lime came rushing to the room and sloopily placed herself all over the couch

CHERRY: Where the author was "sloopily" writing his fanfic.
LUCHS: From the "sloopily" maintained deck of a sloop.
BLOODBERRY: Would that make it the "sloop deck"? (Everyone sweatdrops.)

> and was gobbling up a bag of potatoe chips.

ANDY (theater insert): Ladies and Gentlemen, due to circumstances beyond our control, the part of the Narrator will be played by Dan Quayle.
(Lime produces a bag of potato chips from Null Space and raises them over her head.)
LIME (turkey, looking up at the bag): Gobble-gobble-gobble!
ANDY (large sweatdrop): Lime, what're you doing?
LIME (saccharine smile): I'm gobbling up a bag of potato chips! (Everyone face-faults.)

> "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOINIG MISSY!"

BLOODBERRY (Lime): Ummm...gnashing my teeth?
CHERRY (ditto): Ummm...forgetting how to punctuate questions?
LUCHS (ditto): Ummm...trying to remain in character?
LIME (ditto): Ummm...exercising my mouth?
ANDY (ditto): Ummm...practicing giving Otaru a blowjob? *WHAM!*
CHERRY (removing her fist from Andy's head): BAKA!
ANDY (rubbing his head where Cherry hit it): Oh yeah. She'd have to be eating a banana to use that excuse. (Cherry knocks him into the rear wall with a frying pan she produced from Null Space.) *WHACK!* THIS IS STARTING TO BECOME A REGULAR PATTERN!!!!
(A beat.)
LIME: Ne, ne, Cherry, what's a "blowjob?" (Cherry face-faults.)

> Cherry snatched the bag of potaoe

BLOODBERRY (as Cherry and Andy return to their seats): Wow, even Dan Quayle couldn't come up with a more creative misspelling of "potato."

> chipis

LUCHS: Chipis what you make of it.
ANDY: Chip happens. (The others sweatdrop.)

>and burned it.

CHERRY (Monty Python witch-burner): We found a misspeller, may we burn 'em?
OTHERS (except Andy, as Monty Python witch-burners): BURN THE MISSPELLER!
ANDY (Knights who say "NI!"): NI! NI! NI!
OTHERS (King Arthur and co.): RUN AWAY!

> "uh...eating"

LIME: Is that my line?
CHERRY: Yes.
ANDY (Drew Cary): And I'm your host, Drew Cary. C'mon, let's play "Whose Line is it, Anyway?" (The others stare at him nervously.) What?

> Cherry gave her a dirty look,

ANDY (British accent): Because she's a dirty, dirty wh- (Cherry puts a Ginsu knife to his throat.)
CHERRY (dangerously): Care to finish that thought?
ANDY: Um...no...
CHERRY (saccharine smile as she returns the knife to Null Space): Good. (The others stare nervously at Cherry.)

> "Well it's not my cooking!"

LUCHS: Well, it's not my cooking, either, but you don't see me complaining, do you?
ANDY: That's because you and Akane Tendo went to the same cooking school.
LUCHS (darkly): Which school would that be?
ANDY (missing Luchs' tone of voice): The Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts Cooking.
LIME: Anything-Goes?
ANDY: Anything-Goes...INTO THE POT!
LUCHS: HEY!

> "So?" Lime didn't understand that Cherry was getting breakfast ready and that eating
> potatoe chips means that she's completely insulting Cherry's food.

CHERRY: Dan Quayle rides again.
WASHU (from control booth, as host of Iron Chef): And today's MST theme gag is...ragging on the author's misspellings!

> The food that she slaved over a burning hot over for three hours.

CHERRY (Ham radio operator): This is SheSlaved calling BurningHot. Come in, BurningHot, over.
LUCHS (Ham radio operator): This is BurningHot. Go ahead SheSlaved, over.
ANDY: You know, BurningHotOven sounds like a perverted instant messaging screen name...
OTHERS (flatly): You're the authority.
ANDY: HEY!

> "I DON'T THINK SO! YOU WILL EAT WHAT I COOK! ME MINE MY!
> COOKING! NOT SOME CRAP POTAOE CHIPS!"

ANDY (Rod Sterling): You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. Your next stop, the OOC Zone! (The MSTers do the Twilight Zone Theme. Washu sweatdrops in the control booth.)

> "Hey! I like those! You didn't have to burn it!"

ALL (except Andy, as Monty Python witch-burners): BURN THE CHIPS! BURN THE CHIPS!

ANDY (Knights who say "NI!"): NI! NI! NI!
OTHERS (King Arthur and co.): RUN AWAY!
WASHU (from control booth): I think you guys are going to have to find a new joke...

> Cherry face was more on fire than the bag of potaoe chips.

LIME (to Andy): Now Dan Quayle's talking like that Shampoo person you keep talking about.
LUCHS (Shampoo): Ranma, I kill! (Everyone stares nervously at her, with large sweatdrops.) What?

> "Where is Bloodberry?"

ALL: THAT'S BLODBERRY!
WASHU (from control booth, with a large sweatdrop): Wrong fanfic.

> Cherry started searching the house.

ANDY: Which, given the size of the Kasahari Apartments, took no more than thirty seconds.

> She looked and looked

ANDY: You've got to be kidding me! Otaru lives in a cheapo apartment! How big could it possibly be?! (Otaru's marionettes glare at him.) What? It's the truth, right?
CHERRY: That may be true, but you don't have to be so blunt about it!

> until she found a snoring bloodberry in bed.

CHERRY: Bloodberry should be capitalized.
ANDY: Well, at least it's not a "Naked" Bloodberry.
BLOODBERRY: HEY! I'm better looking than these two! (Indicates Lime and Cherry, who glare at her in response.) Why would you not want that?
ANDY: Because then we'd be back in the previous fic. (The others turn green at the memory.)
BLOODBERRY (looking nauseous): Good point.

> "WAKE UP!" she yelled but Bloodberry was

LUCHS: In a coma from a drug overdose.
BLOODBERRY: HEY!
CHERRY: Luchs, what is it with you and your fixation with drugs?
ANDY: The same thing that is with Bloodberry and her fixation with wild monkey sex.
BLOODBERRY: And the same thing that is with Andy and his generally perverted comments.
ANDY: HEY! I toned it down, didn't I?
OTHERS (flatly): Not noticeably.

> still asleep. Cherry just smiled sweatly

LIME: Umm...how do you smile "sweatly?"
ANDY: Like this! (Andy smiles cheefully with a large cluster of sweatdrops hovering near his head. Lime face-faults.)

> and left the room and returned with Hanagata. She pushed him onto Bloodberry's bed.
> She rolled over and squeazed Hanagata like a plush teddy bear.

(Bloodberry's face visibly blanches, and she starts quivering in fear.)
ANDY (dense): I think I've seen this somewhere before...
(Bloodberry's tremors become more intense.)
ANDY (noticing Bloodberry's reaction, still dense): Yes, this is very familiar...
CHERRY (noticing Bloodberry's reaction as well): You're right. It is familiar... (She chuckles wickedly to herself.)
LIME: Uwe?
(Suddenly, the stress becomes too much for Bloodberry to handle.)
BLOODBERRY: And to think that I got that special once-in-a-hundred-years Valentine's Day sake for the sole purpose of getting Otaru in bed with me! Now my secrets are laid bare for the world to see! (She bursts into tears.)
ANDY (large sweatdrop): Wow, who knew that Lady Aoi would nail down details not mentioned in the series?

> "Oh Bloodberry..."there was an evil smirk on Cherry's face,"Hanagata is trying to kiss
> you..." and in that very instant a very shocked, Kowaii,

ANDY: Bloodberry, you're cute when you're shocked. (Everyone stares at him in nervous silence as kyoshigi sticks are heard smacking in the background.) What?
OTHERS (flatly): Bad Japanese pun...
ANDY: Well, blame it on the author for putting too many 'i's in "kowai".

> disturbed Bloodberry jumped out of

LUCHS: An open window, splattering herself on the ground below.
OTHERS: LUCHS!

> bed and gave a loud shreak,

LUCHS: as she castrated the author...
CHERRY (continuing Luchs' comment): for having the spelling abilities of Dan Quayle.

> "YOU! YOU! YOU...HENTAI!

ANDY (Lurch): You raaaaaaaaang? (The others stare at him nervously with a cluster of sweatdrops.) Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

> GET AWAY FROM ME!AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! IT THE ATTACK OF THE
> SCRUB!"

(Washu puts TLC's "No Scrubs" into her workstation playlist, and blasts it out over the PA system.)
ALL: WAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH!
WASHU (from control booth, with a large sweatdrop): Geez, you guys have no taste in music...
LUCHS: I think that that's debatable, Miss Washu.
ANDY: Yeah, "Left Eye" is probably rolling in her grave. Have some respect for the dead!

> A very unhappy Hanagata sat there about to cry,"i'm not that bad!"

OTARU'S MARIONETTES: Yes, you are.

> "AHAHAHA!Is that a popsicle-stick joke?" Bloodyberry cackled as she left the room
> with Cherry.

LIME: Uwe? Was that supposed to make sense?
OTHERS: No.

> "Breakfast is ready!" announced Cherry,"Here Otaru you can sit next to me...and
> Bloodberry can sit next to lime and...

LUCHS: So, what, do you have a buffet line in your apartment, or something?
CHERRY: No.

> Hanagata...you can sit outside...in the street...and *hopefully* get run over!" Lime
> giggled as Hangata took a plate and went to go outside.

CHERRY: The infection of OOC-itis is spreading rapidly.
BLOODBERRY: Yeah, first you, now Lime.
ANDY: Let's hope it doesn't find a way to break the fourth wall...
MESOPOTAMIA (on PA system, annoyed): YOU MEAN LIKE YOU JUST DID?
LIME: Hey, welcome back, Messie!
(Somewhere deep inside, the Mesopotamia shorts out another circuit.)

> "Exuse me but...

LIME (Jar Jar Binks): Exqueeze me, but meesa no think yousa bothered to use spellcheck. (Everyone gets a large cluster of sweatdrops on their heads as they stare nervously at Lime.)

> I don't remeber anyone

CHERRY (Kenji Ohgami as Bloodberry): telling me about the spellcheck feature.

> saying you could eat cherry's food!" Bloodberry handed him a burnt bag

ALL (except Andy, as Monty Python witch-burners): BURN THE BAG! BURN THE BAG!
ANDY (Knights who say "NI!"): NI! NI! NI!
OTHERS (King Arthur and co.): RUN AWAY!
WASHU (from control booth): Well, so much for that joke. You guys killed it.
ANDY (Knights who say "NI!"): AAAARGH! You said the word!
BLOODBERRY: I suppose it was inevitable.
ANDY (Knights who say "NI!"): AAAARGH! You said the word again!
CHERRY (exasperated): Oh, stop it!
ANDY (Knights who say "NI!"): AAAARGH! Stop saying the word!
LIME (innocently): Well, what is it?
ANDY (Knights who say "NI!"): AAAARGH! You said it again! AAACK! Now I said it! AACK! I said it again!
LIME: This is fun! (Everyone stares at her in nervous silence.) What?
WASHU (from control booth, with a large sweatdrop): Okay. I think we get the point now...

> of potaoe chips,"Eat this."
ANDY & LIME (singing): MST it, `T it, `T it, `T it
Burn a bag of chips and eat it
CHERRY & LUCHS (singing): Screw up your grammar, spell like Dan Quayle
Write a bad lemon, to make readers pale
WASHU (from control booth, with a large sweatdrop): I think Michael Jackson will want to have a few words with you after this.
ANDY (nervous look on his face): Just so long as all he wants is to have a few words.
LUCHS: You're 22. I think you're safe.
LIME (not understanding the implications of the conversation): Well, you do have that disclaimer-thingy at the top of this MST, don't you? So you don't have to worry.
MESOPOTAMIA (on PA system, annoyed): NO, BUT HE WILL HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ALL OF YOU CONTINUALLY BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!

> "hehehe...thancks." A misereable Hanagata left to eat outside.

BLOODBERRY: I guess Hana-ko can't stand the bad spelling, either.

> Then out of sympathy Otaru defended Hanagata.

BLOODBERRY: Hmph. Like Otaru has done anything out of sympathy for Hana-ko.
ANDY: Well, technically, he has.
LIME: You mean, like when he tried to rescue Yume-chan? Hana-chan stopped him, remember?
ANDY: Well, that's not the only time, and even if it were, it's the thought that counts.

> "Don't you think that was a little too harsh..." They all looked at him,

CHERRY: Out of fear that he'd caught the OOC virus.

> "I mean that was very...um inhumane...of...uh...you guys...don't you think we should let
> him eat...with us?"

BLOODBERRY: No.

> "No..."Bloodberry replied.

(Everyone sweatdrops.)
BLOODBERRY (Andy): Wow, I'm psychic!
LIME, CHERRY, & LUCHS: You're a looney.
ANDY: And you stole my gag!
WASHU (from control booth): It wasn't your gag to begin with. (Andy sweatdrops.)

> Lime got up and went to fetch Hanagata.

BLOODBERRY (dog trainer): Here, Lime! Here, girl! Fetch the Hanagata!
CHERRY (Lime as dog): ARF! ARF! ARF! ARF!
(Andy and Lime glare at them.)
LUCHS (Lassie character): What is it, girl? Kenji Ohgami's writing a fanfic?
(The others face-fault.)

> When he walked through the door

ANDY (Narrator): He left a Hanagata-shaped hole.
LUCHS (flatly): I think they opened the door for him...
ANDY (dourly): Thank you so much for ruining the joke...

> they ignored his presence."Hi...I'm so honored i could..."

CHERRY (Hanagata): Be one of the few remaining people actually in character in this fic.

> "Save the crap for later...or never," Otaru stared at Bloodberry...She was being very
> rude this morning! She could see that Otaru wasn't impressed with her negativity,"So
> Hanagata...um...hi!" Hangata had an expression on his face that screamed out"I AM
> LOVED!"

ALL (except Washu): WAAAAAAUGGGGGH!!!! THEY'RE ALL OOC!!!
WASHU (from control booth): It gets worse later on.
LIME (worried): It...
CHERRY (ditto): ...gets...
BLOODBERRY (ditto): ...worse?
(A beat.)
ALL (except Washu): WAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHH!!!
WASHU (from control booth, with a large sweatdrop): Was that really necessary?

> After breakfast Cherry forced everyone to help out in cleaning the dishes.

ANDY (Cartman, singing): WEEEEEEEEEELL CHERRY-CHAN IS A BIG FAT BITCH, SHE'S THE BIGGEST BITCH IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD! SHE'S A STUPID BITCH IF THERE EVER WAS A BITCH, SHE'S A BITCH TO ALL THE BOYS AND GIRLS! ON MONDAY SHE'S A BITCH, ON TUESDAY SHE'S A BITCH, ON WEDNESDAY THROUGH SATURDAY SHE'S A BITCH. THEN ON SUNDAY, JUST TO BE DIFFERENT, SHE'S A SUPERKINKAMEAMEYABEEYATCH! (Andy is promptly beaten to a bloody pulp by Otaru's marionettes, the Japoness Hell Gang, and several Cherry fanboys.)
LUCHS (large sweatdrop): Now that was unnecessary.

> Lime scrubbed and scrubbed away at the dishes but complained about getting the food > reminece on her finger.

BLOODBERRY: You'd think that Lime would be complaining more from sheer boredom than something silly like that. (The others nod in agreement.)

> Cherry was fantizing(as usual)

ANDY (recovering from his beating): Cherry's fantasies - they're FANtastic! *WHAM!*
CHERRY (removing her foot from Andy's face): BAKA!
LUCHS (large sweatdrop): I'm getting a strong sense of déjà vu.

> about her and Otaru on the beach sitting side by side...so close together and Otaru
> stared into her eyes...and his lushious lips got closer and closer to her. awaiting the
> most meaningfull kiss in her daydream until she steppend on a sponge,slipped, and feel
> on her back.

LIME: But did the rest of her body "feel" with her back? (Everyone sweatdrops.)
ANDY: Well, this won't be the last time that Cherry's fantasies constitute a hazard to her health.
CHERRY (large sweatdrop): What do you mean?
ANDY: I'd explain, but I'd be violating Doc Brown's 43rd Rule of Time Travel.
OTHERS (confused): Doc Brown's 43rd Rule of Time Travel?
WASHU (from control booth, reading from a 3-inch thick paperback): Rule #43: No one should know too much about his or her own future.
ANDY (to Washu): Oh, so you have that book, too? (Washu face-faults.)
WASHU (recovering): But Andy, this chain of events has changed the marionettes' timeline. The events of Saber Marionette J to X may not even occur now.
ANDY: Good point.
BLOODBERRY (to Andy): In that case, care to explain your comment?
ANDY: (Sighs.) I suppose I must. In Saber Marionette J to X episode 8, Cherry hits her head on a support pillar in the apartment while in fantasy mode.
OTHERS (flatly): Oh.

> She took this fall to her advantage..."Otaru! I've fallen! who one Terra II will help me?"

LUCHS (Cherry): Help! I've fallen, and I can't get up! (Andy, Lime and Bloodberry snicker at the comment. Cherry just glares at Luchs.)

> Lime approched her,"I will!"
>
> "Not you!" she whispered
>
> "Then who?"
>
> "Go away!"Cherry said, but Otaru left instead,"Otaru come back! won't you help me!"
> She yelled to him but he pointed to Lime who had her hand stretched out,"ugh"

CHERRY: We're OOC again...
(The group watches the scene in uneasy silence. Everything is normal...except for a barely detectable tic that Andy is developing.)

> Bloodberry tip-toed after Otaru and locked the kitchen door on Lime and Cherry.
> *uh oh*

LUCHS: Thank you, Captain Obvious.
BLOODBERRY: I dunno. I'm liking this scene!
LIME & CHERRY (flatly): You would.

> "Otaru...you seem...tense...let me give you a massage!" Bloodberry offered.
> "uh...ok.That would be great!"

BLOODBERRY (writing something on a notepad): "...let me give you a massage!" Got it!
CHERRY: What're you doing, Bloodberry?
BLOODBERRY (quickly stuffing the notepad back into her clothes): Umm...Nothing! None of your concern!
CHERRY (saccharine smile): Are you sure it's nothing? Then you wouldn't mind giving it to me, would you?
BLOODBERRY (wicked grin): Go ahead. Try to take it from me!
(Andy is heard snickering.)
BLOODBERRY & CHERRY (to Andy): You wouldn't be reading anything perverted into our comments, would you?
ANDY (mock innocence): No, not at all. (mock angel pose)
BLOODBERRY & CHERRY (muttering): Hentai.
ANDY: Hey, at least it got you two to stop fighting with each other. (Bloodberry and Cherry face-fault.)

> "YOu need to take your shirt off..." An anxious Bloodberry stared at Otaru as he
> hesitantly removed of his shirt.

CHERRY: Anxious? Try horny.
BLOODBERRY: Ooh! Is this the part where Otaru and I have wild monkey sex?
LUCHS: Keep dreaming.
CHERRY (to readers): See what we mean about her obsession with wild monkey sex?
MESOPOTAMIA (on PA system, annoyed): NUMBER OF FOURTH WALL FRACTURES THIS MST: THREE.

> Bloodberry placed her hands on his shoulders and started squezing his shoulders.

LUCHS: Unfortunately, she got so excited that she severed his arteries, and he bled to death.
OTHERS: LUCHS!

> "ah...I...thi..think...that's...AH...enAHgh...ahf...tha..AAAHHHHt!!!"

(Everyone face-faults.)
LUCHS (Andy): I'm psychic!
ANDY (head buried in his hands): I've created a monster!
PETER SUZUKI (over the Mesopotamia's PA system): No, I created the monster. You just plagiarized it. Am I going to have to start charging you royalties?
ANDY (large cluster of sweatdrops): Okay, I'll be good.
PETER SUZUKI (over the Mesopotamia's PA system): Good.

> Otaru withdrew his shoulders and was put his shirt back on.

CHERRY: Let the Shampoo-speak commence!
ANDY (Shampoo): Haiya! Me go date with Ranma, give him blowjob in theater!
(The rest of the group promptly proceeds to give back everything they ate for the last two days.)
OTHERS (tossing their cookies): BLAAAAAAARRRRRGHHHH!
CHERRY (wiping her mouth): That was very disgusting and totally uncalled for!
BLOODBERRY (dry heaving): I don't know what's worse, the fact that he's saying that as a guy, or that he could do her voice so well.
LIME (looking in her air-sickness bag): Uwe? I don't remember eating that...
LUCHS (rubbing her temples in pain): Make it stop...make it stoooop...
WASHU (from control booth): I'm getting a red light on Andy's perversion indicator. I'm sorry Andy, but I'm afraid you're going to have to be punished. (She pushes a button, but it has no effect.) Huh? Oh, great. Mihoshi crashed my kappa-transformation program again! Oh well, I have something that will work just as well. (She pushes another button.)
ANDY (as a light shines around him): What the?! WAAAAAUGHHHH!!! (Andy transforms into Genma Saotome's panda form, complete with accompanying theme music.)

> Bloodberry was very
> dissappointed,"Why don't we do something else then."

LUCHS (Otaru): But how is that different from what you wanted to do earlier?
BLOODBERRY: HEY!
ANDY (via sign): She forgot the question mark again.

> "Like what?"

ANDY (via sign): Bloodberry: Get out of this fic before the author floods it with massive spelling errors!
LIME: Who's speaking?

> A nice little smirk slowly formed on her face,"Oh I don't know...why don't we go to
> your room and look at...pictures...yeah pictures!"

LUCHS: Heh. That has to be one of the top ten worst pickup lines in existence.
WASHU (from control booth): Not to mention the fact that it's being used by a member of the gender that is typically the recipient of such crappy pickup lines.
ANDY (via sign): Y'know, this really makes my gender look pretty crappy.
BLOODBERRY: Look in the mirror before saying that. (hit with Andy's sign) *WHAP!* OW! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?
ANDY (via a different sign): You deserved it.
WASHU (from control booth, as bartender): Okay, I think you've had enough.
LUCHS (bartender): She's cutting you off!
ANDY (via sign, wincing painfully): HEY!
(Washu hits a button, and Andy returns to normal.)
ANDY: Thanks, Washu-chan!
WASHU (from control booth): Don't thank me yet.

> "you've already seen them all..." Bloodberry was dragging Otaru to his room.She
> locked the door and through the key

LIME: That would have to be a big key for her to fit "through" it. (Bloodberry face-faults.)
CHERRY: Uh, Lime, I think the author meant "threw" the key.
LIME: No spellcheck again, huh?
LUCHS (as Bloodberry returns to her seat): I don't think that spellcheck would've helped in this case.
LIME (embarrassed laughter): Oh.

> out the window and lay down on the bed slowly rolling an ice cube down her neck but
> it rolled a little more and found it's way to under her shirt. *seductive*

BLOODBERRY (carrier ops PA system): Captain Obvious, please report to the flight deck for immediate debriefing.
(Andy opens his mouth to comment, then notices the glares of the other MSTers.)
ANDY: I'll...pretend I didn't hear that.
OTHERS (flatly): Good.

> "ugh...what are you doing?"

CHERRY (flatly): Isn't it obvious?
BLOODBERRY: I guess Captain Obvious made a housecall to the wrong address!

> Otaru looked baffled.then Bloodberry had an idea,"Why don't we, as in me an you, test
> out how bouncy this bed is!"

LIME & ANDY (Yakko, Wakko and Dot): Boingy boingy boingy boingy boingy boingy boingy boingy boingy!
LUCHS (large sweatdrop): Those two seem made for each other sometimes.
ANDY (miffed): I have no idea what you're talking about.
LIME: Wachu' talkin' 'bout, Willis?
CHERRY: Lime, do you even know what you're referring to?
LIME: Umm...no.
CHERRY (large sweatdrop): I thought not.

> "Can't you do that yourself?"Otaru is defenately the biggest idiot ever. "NO!" shouted
> Bloodberry! She grabbed him and pinned him to the bed.
> "AAAAHHHHHHHH!WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Otaru struggled to get up.

BLOODBERRY: YEEEESSS! Now this is what I call a good fanfic! (The kyoshigi sticks start smacking rythmically after a long hiatus as everyone else gets a large cluster of sweatdrops on their heads.)

> The phone started ringing and Bloodberry let him go and ran out of the room,

BLOODBERRY (shocked): NOOO! I take back everything nice I said about this fanfic! (Everyone sweatdrops.)

> "THIS IS SO IMPOSSIBLE!"

BLOODBERRY: That's what I said! (Everyone face-faults.)

> Otaru answered the phone. It was the major,

LIME (as the group recovers): Uwe? Japoness isn't run by a major.
LUCHS (Billy Joel, singing): Japoness' under martial law! I can't take it anymore!
CHERRY: Any fires that are started are your doing, Luchs. (Luchs face-faults.)
ANDY: Well technically, if you literally translate the Kanji, the Shogun is a general of sorts...
LIME (cocking her head to one side, confused): You mean jii-chan got demoted?
(Everyone face-faults.)

> "Otaru we need you and your maionettes now! Japoness-ville is being attacked by the
> saberdolls!"*powerpuff girls*

BLOODBERRY (as everyone gets reseated): Thank you, Captain Obvious, for telling us where you ripped off that sequence.
LIME: At least it's Japoness-ville, and not Japoness, that's under attack.
CHERRY: I think the author was trying to refer to Japoness.
LIME (sheepish grin): Oh yeah! Hehehe...

> "We're...on our...way???"

ANDY (Captain Kirk as Otaru): Captain's log...Star...date...81...29...point-two! We have...encountered...a major...disturbance...in...Japoness!
OTHERS (dangerously): If you don't stop imitating Captain Kirk, there's going to be a major disturbance aboard the Mesopotamia!
ANDY (Lime): Awww...you guys never let me have any fun!

> Otaru put down the receiver and told everyone what was happening.

LUCHS: Well stand there, Otaru! Don't just do something!
ANDY (Dudley Do-Right narrator): It took them five minutes to straighten that line out.

> They rushed to town central where the saber dolls were unleashing mayhem and
> destruction!

BLOODBERRY: Random pointless excitement!
CHERRY (large sweatdrop): You mean like our first MST?
ANDY: That was different. Laichi's fic involved blurring the line between Otaru's thoughts and the narration. This is the author getting too excited by the action scene being written.
OTHERS (large sweatdrop): Oh.

> "You better stop that!" shouted lime. Tiger just looked at her,"And what are you gonna
> do about it if i don't!"

LIME (Kenji Ohgami as Lime): I'm going to stop capitalizing my own name that's what!

> She through a stop sign at her.

LUCHS: But threw her back out because of the author's confusion over word usage. (Everyone stares at her nervously.) What?
BLOODBERRY: You do realize that you just poked fun at your partner in crime, right?
LUCHS: D'oh!
LIME: Everyone's acting like Homer Simpson today! ^_^ (The others sweatdrop as yet another round of kyoshigi goodness ensues.)

> Lime charged at her like a bolt of lighting

ANDY: Does that mean she's got 1.21 gigawatts of electricity running through her?
CHERRY: No.

> and through a punch at her but

LUCHS: She also got a hernia from the effort.
LIME (young Bill Cosby): A hernia? What's that? Is it some sort of present? (The others sweatdrop.)
ANDY (Butt-head): Uh...huh huh huh...she threw a punch at her butt... (Everyone gives Andy freezing stares.)

> ,unluckily, Tiger dodged it and spin kicked Lime in the back. she hit the
> floor,"Ouch!That hurt!" and uppercutted Tiger in the jaw.

LIME: Who's speaking?
LUCHS: And for that matter, is "uppercutted" even the proper past tense verb here?

> "MY LIPSTICK! YOU BITCH!

CHERRY & BLOODBERRY (to Andy): Don't even think about doing that "Bitch" song about Lime.
ANDY (indignantly): I could never denigrate Lime like that!
CHERRY & BLOODBERRY (cluster of sweatdrops): Why not?
ANDY (eyes sparkling): It's against my religion! ^_^ (Cherry and Bloodberry face-fault.)
LUCHS: Remember, he's publicly admitted that he's partial to Lime.
CHERRY & BLOODBERRY (recovering from their face-fault): Oh yeah...
LIME (blushing): Heh heh...Andy likes me...

> DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO APPLY MY
> LIPSTICK NO TO MENTION FINDING THE RIGHT COLOR
> THAT MATCHES MY BEAUTIFUL OUTFIT!"

CHERRY (sighing): Welcome to the OOC club, Tiger.
BLOODBERRY (Sy Sperling as Tiger): Remember, I'm not only the President of the OOC Club, I'm also a client. (Bloodberry is the recipient of freezing stares.) Gee, tough crowd...
(The tic that Andy's face had developed returns with a vengeance, spreading from his eyebrow to his nose.)
LIME: Ano...Andy, are you okay?
ANDY: Yeah (twitch). I'm perfectly (twitch) fine (twitch). Why do you ask? (twitch twitch)
LIME (trying to hide her worry): Oh, no reason.

> "Uh...no," Lime put her finger to her mouth and made an expression of not caring.

BLOODBERRY (mock shock): It's an actual in-character moment!
LIME (Garth): No way!
BLOODBERRY (Wayne): Way!
(Andy sweatdrops, but the tic has toned down some.)

> Tiger ran towards her and jumped in the air and kicked her in the chest knocking lime
> into a fountain."ho ho ho! you looked washed up!" cackled Tiger,

ANDY: Water you talking about, Tiger?
CHERRY: Don't spout off without reason, Andy.
BLOODBERRY: I guess we're going to shower this fic with bad puns, huh?
LUCHS: Soak an you tell me how we got onto this tangent?
LIME: No, I'd rather just go with the flow.
ANDY: We're just having an outpouring of our souls on this.
CHERRY: Did that one just spring to mind?
BLOODBERRY: Hoo boy, I'm laughing so hard, the tears are just welling up!
LUCHS: It's just a drop in the bucket compared to what we could come up with.
LIME: I dunno. I think these puns are all wet, myself.
WASHU (from control booth, with a large sweatdrop): I think you guys should stop before you flood the theater with bad puns.
ANDY (to Washu, as Rhett Butler): Frankly my dear, I just don't give a dam.

> but at that very instant Lime grabbed her foot and pulled her into the fountain."AHH!
> NOT ONLY DID YOU RUIN MY LIPSTICK BUT MY HAIR AS WELL!"she
> looked at her nails,"AND I'VE BROKEN THREE NAILS!THIS IS NOT JUST A
> BAD DAY! IT'S A GOD DAMN TRAIN WRECK!"

ALL (except Andy): NOOOO! They're OOC again!
ANDY: ............... (twitch twitch twitch twitch twitch twitch twitch twitch twitch)
LIME: Washu-chan! Andy's gotten worse!
WASHU (from control booth): I'm on it! (She checks some readings on her workstation.) I'm afraid we have a problem.
ALL (except Andy): What?
WASHU (from control booth): The OOC-ness in the fic is having an adverse reaction in Andy's brain. He's losing all sense of reality!
CHERRY: What?! Stop the fic now, Washu-chan! (Washu tries to stop the fic...)
WASHU (from control booth): Dammit! I've been locked out of fic control functions! I can't stop the fic!
ANDY (confused): Where am I? Who am I? What am I doing here? (looks at the others) Who are you? (The others face-fault.)
BLOODBERRY (as they return to their seats): Washu, you've got to do something!
WASHU (from control booth): I'm working on it! (Dimensional portals appear beneath Andy and in the control booth. Andy and Washu descend into the portals and are gone in an instant.)
LIME: I hope Andy's okay.
CHERRY: He may be a hentai and a baka, but I'd hate to see him brought low by a nervous breakdown.
LUCHS: That may be true, but we still have a fic to finish up.
BLOODBERRY (groaning): Don't remind us.

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Meanwhile...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> ~~~~~~~~~~

BLOODBERRY: The fight moved to a deserted island in the middle of the Japoness Gulf, where the characters proceeded to turn the fic into a cheap DBZ knockoff.
LIME (Goku): Kamahameha!
LUCHS (Vegeta): Th-that's IMPOSSIBLE! Damn you, Kakarot!
CHERRY (large sweatdrop): Looks like Lime isn't the only one who watches too much TV.
LUCHS (darkly): I heard that.

> Panther and Bloodberry were staring each other down. Panther's ice cold eyes sent a
> chill down Bloodberry's back. She clenched her teeth and her fingers tightened until
> they were a hard-rock fist.

CHERRY: I think a better way of phrasing that would be "She gritted her teeth and clenched her rock-hard fists."

> Panther was doing the same but she let Bloodberry make the first attack.She took a
> swing at Panthers face *wham* that caused her mouth to bleed.

BLOODBERRY: Captain Obvious has apparently decided to include sound effects.

> With blood running down her mouth, Panther didn't say anything, instead she
> unleashed her deadly decimating beam from the star on her right eye!

LIME, CHERRY & LUCHS (Bloodberry): Random pointless excitement!
BLOODBERRY: Well, at least he's not doing it in a lemon scene.
OTHERS (turning pale): Good point.

> Bloodberry flipped into the air and landed on a statue.Beneath her feet she could feel
> the warmth of the eye ray from Panthers star patch, and feel to the groung on four
> feet.

LIME: Uwe? She suddenly changed from feeling the warmth of Panther's beam to feeling the ground?
CHERRY: I think that's supposed to be "and fell to the ground."
LUCHS: Not to mention the fact that Bloodberry seems to have grown an extra pair of legs...
LIME: It's a Bloodberry freak show! ^_^ (Bloodberry glares at Lime.)

> "UGH! why you little...."She got back up and saw a peice or broken mirrior on the
> ground."Do you really think YOU can defeat ME? ME!"

ALL: Who's talking?!

> "Actually...I do," And at the very instant that the eye beam was raging through the air
> Bloodberry used the mirror as a sheild and the beam was deflected right back at
> Panther! "AAHHH! THAT HURT!" She was blown away through the window of a
> candy shop!Bloodberry just gave a grin,"That'll teach YOU no to mess with ME!"

BLOODBERRY: And there was much rejoicing.
OTHERS (bored): Yaaaay.

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~At the same time...~~~~~~~~~~
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BLOODBERRY: On the deserted island, our heroes stumble upon a gang of castaways.
(Lime starts whistling the tune to "The Theme From Gilligan's Island.")

> "What's wrong?" Lynx asked.Cherry stood there with her ahonds covering her
> face,"noth...noth...ing...nothing..."

CHERRY (flatly): Why my "ahonds" were covering my face, and not my hands, I'll never know.

> "Ya scared!" Lynx mocked.

CHERRY: Using incorrect punctuation for questions.
LUCHS (Kenji Ohgami as Luchs): What? I ran out of question marks. I had no choice but to use my surplus of exclamation points. (The others face-fault.)

> "NO!I just had a bad day."
>
> "WHOA! a BAD day!"She kept mocking her,"What happened did you loose your
> teddy bear!HO HO HO!"

BLOODBERRY (teacher): Children, children! Please, can't you act your age for once, or at least in character?
CHERRY: Yeah, because then we might actually remember to use question marks instead of exclamation points for questions.
LUCHS: That's why it's called a "question mark." It marks a question.
LIME: Can we get his English teacher to give him bad marks in grammar? ^_^ (The others aim freezing stares at Lime.) HA! YA MISSED ME! (Sticks her tongue out with a finger pulling down on her eyelid.) BEEEED! (The Mesopotamia shorts another circuit at the latest fourth wall fracture.)

> "SHUT UP!"cried Cherry as she punched *pow* Lynx in the mouth.

BLOODBERRY: Extraneous sound effects provided by Captain Obvious.

> Lynx dropped to the floor in pain. "If you must know! Lime was eating potoe chips and
> not MY cooking! And Bloodberry wouldn't wake up! I also had to eat with Hanagata! I
> mean seriously!..."

LUCHS: The Cherry in this fic seems to have some serious issues.
CHERRY: Not to mention spelling and grammar problems...

> "OH SHUT UP!" Lynx was suprised at Cherry," That's not a bad day you freak!"
>
> "WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME YOU BAKA!"
>
> "Must I repeat myself?" with an devilish grin Lynx began to laugh and laugh. "STOP
> IT! STOP! GRRR!"

BLOODBERRY (eyebrow arched): My, such an impressive display of maturity.
CHERRY: I know. It embarrasses me to be associated with this fic.
LIME: I've only been OOC once! ^_^
OTHERS: Do you mind?!

> Cherry grew angrier until she drop kicked *punt* Lynx in the stomache as hard as she
> possibly could, which sent lynx soaring towards the pile of failure saber dolls!

BLOODBERRY: We need to talk to Captain Obvious about his SFX fetish.
CHERRY: And we need to talk to him about his characterization, spelling and grammar.
LIME: And about his overuse of exclamation points! ^_^
OTHERS (singing): Ding, dong, the joke is dead!

> "That'll teach you not to mess with us!" Lime grinned and roised her right arm in
> victory!

LUCHS (Steve Erwin): Roight, we see heah that the dominant marionette has vanquished her foes, and signaled this to the othas with a victory pose.
CHERRY (large sweatdrop): I didn't know you got old Earth shows in Gartlant.
LUCHS: We don't. They were stored in the Mesopotamia's databank.
BLOODBERRY (large sweatdrop): Oh yeah, that's where that episode of Babylon 5 that Andy showed us was located as well.
LIME (worried): Andy...
CHERRY: Don't worry, Lime. I'm sure he'll be back to his old hentai self in no time!
LIME: You're right, Cherry! We'll get to see him again soon!

> After Tigers Beauty lecture she gathered all the saber dolls,

LIME: So that they could search for the missing apostrophe.

> "Come on girls! We'll deal with them later!" and they all ran away!!!

ALL (King Arthur and co.): RUN AWAY!
(A beat. Everyone sighs.)
CHERRY: I hate to admit it, but it just isn't the same without Andy around.

> Back at home Cherry(after burning a bag of Lime's girl scout cookies) had prepared
> dinner.

BLOODBERRY: Gee, do you think the author's trying to tell us something about Cherry's feelings about cooking?
OTHERS: Hmmmm...naaaah. ^_^ (Bloodberry sweatdrops, but says nothing.)

> They all sat down at the table to eat one of Cherry's delisous meals

LIME: I guess the Delisous Deli is competing with the Deliquite Deli.
OTHERS (large cluster of sweatdrops): Not that again...

> when Bloodberry snapped,"HANGATA!You can eat OUTSIDE!"In a depressed mood
> he slowly trotted to the door."uh...Hanagata! I was only joking!" In an excited rush he
> ran back to the table. "yeah!" Lime blurted out,"We wuv you!"

CHERRY (Lime): But only because you haven't tried to seduce Otaru-sama once this fic, or tried to convince him that "it's impossible for a man to love a machine."
BLOODBERRY: Come to think of it, that is out of character for Hana-ko.

> "Uh...No we don't,"Cherry commented as they all ate there supper. They all helped

LUCHS: Mamiya castrate the author for his glaring spelling, grammar, and characterization errors throughout this fic.
OTHERS: Darn tootin'!

> wash the dishes"I'm going to bed..." Hangata crept to his bed, exhaughsted."Sweet
> dreams!" Lime shouted out to him,"I think i'm gonna go to bed too!"
>
> "Whatever,"Bloodberry let out a yawn,"I think I'll go with you."

BLOODBERRY: Because, after all, cleaning up after dinner is your job, Cherry.
CHERRY: Not like I get any help from you freeloaders, anyway.
BLOODBERRY & LIME: HEY!

> "GET BACK HERE! YOU KNOW YOUR JUST TRYING TO GET OUT OF
> CLEANING THE DISHES!"Cherry grew angry,Until she suddenly fell asleep on the
> kitchen floor.

BLOODBERRY: Damn, Cherry. All that bitching and moaning must be really tiring.
CHERRY: HEY!

> Otaru gentely carried her to her room and placed her in her bed

CHERRY: Yes! Otaru-sama's going to seduce dear, sweet, pure little me!
OTHERS (large sweatdrops): You wish.

> and covered her with the sheets and comforter, then he headed to his own room.

CHERRY: Darn it!
BLOODBERRY (Nelson, pointing at Cherry): HAW-HAW! (Cherry glares at Bloodberry, but holds her tongue.)

> He tucked himself into bed and and slowly drifted off to dream land, awaiting the next
> morning which would start another typical day!

CHERRY (to Author): Hah! As if you would know what a typical day in our lives is like!
LIME: Is it over yet?
LUCHS: Yes.
LIME: WAI! WAI! (Rushes out of the theater.)
BLOODBERRY: Well, I guess we should go check on Washu's progress, huh?
CHERRY: Yes, let's do so. (Exeunt omnes.)

     As the group exited the theater, Washu's face appeared on a nearby monitor.
     "Guys, you may want to come down to the med bay for a bit." Washu said somberly. "It's about Andy."
     Concerned for their fallen MST comrade, they rushed to the medical bay that was only 50 yards further along the corridor from the galley where Andy and Lime had been pigging out earlier. Washu was waiting for them when they entered the waiting area of the med bay.
     "What's the news?" Bloodberry asked.
     Washu sighed. "I'm afraid that it's much more than a simple case of nervous breakdown." She led them to a digital display of Andy's neural pathways. She showed them a recording of what happened from the moment of his breakdown to the end of the fic. The red-haired scientist continued her explanation of the situation.
     "The degree to which the characters in Kenji Ohgami's fic were out of character passed a threshold in Andy. His brain could no longer handle the poor portrayal of your characters, and began a massive cascading failure - a nervous breakdown. In essence, his brain began to disassociate itself from reality."
     "So?" Bloodberry spat. "What's so wrong about a nervous breakdown?"
     "As you may know, Null Space doesn't necessarily hold to ordinary physical laws that we're used to. Anything is possible. For him to have a nervous breakdown here leaves him vulnerable to those possibilities." Washu paused the looping replay of Andy's situation at a point in time a minute after the breakdown began. "At time index 23146-122.7, a massive spike in EKG activity was recorded in Andy's cerebral cortex."
     The marionettes all gasped in shock, especially Lime. Luchs was the first to find her voice. "What do you think that spike was, Washu?" the blue-haired Gartlant Saber inquired.
     "From the data that I've been able to collect, and from the words that he was speaking shortly thereafter, I can only assume that he has gained another personality that is not his own. Some soul from another timeline seems to have fused with his nervous system - a soul so powerful that had I not implanted those nanites in his body at the same time I installed the body control circuit in your bodies, he would not have survived the shock of the fusion."
     Cherry spoke up then. "You suggested that something he said led you to this conclusion." Washu nodded. "What did he say?"
     Washu looked at her notes at that point. "Let's see...here we are. 'Kisa put her through hell, and for that he shall pay.' 'No, Lord Ghenna, I will not let you ruin their lives again!'"
     "What does it mean?" Luchs demanded.
     "I don't know." Washu replied. I ran a search on some of the words I thought might be important - that might provide clues to who or what this personality might be. By some stroke of luck, I've been able to narrow down the possibilities. The soul that fused with Andy came from the timeline represented in The Dark Phoenix's AU SMJ fanfic series, 'Human.'"
     "Can we see him?" Lime asked insistently.
     Washu smirked. "I don't see why not. He seems relatively stable, given his condition. If you were to interact with him, I might be able to determine exactly whose soul is sharing Andy's body, and then determine a way to return Andy to normal." And with that, the group strode into the heart of the med bay to lend what help they could to their companion.

To be continued...

Outro: A Moment of Zen

> of potaoe chips,"Eat this."

ANDY & LIME (singing): MST it, `T it, `T it, `T it
Burn a bag of chips and eat it
CHERRY & LUCHS (singing): Screw up your grammar, spell like Dan Quayle
Write a bad lemon, to make readers pale

Preview of Next Time:

     Kagome: With Andy incapacitated, and Washu left to care for him, the group must MST another Kenji Ohgami fic. Fortunately for them, reinforcements arrive from Earth's distant past.
     InuYasha: Oi, Kagome. What're you babbling about?
     Kagome: We're supposed to help MST the fic.
     InuYasha: What? Are you kidding?
     Kagome: I'm serious.
     InuYasha: Feh! We have no time for this! We have to keep looking for shards of the Shikon no Tama!
     Kagome: OSUWARI!
     InuYasha: GAAAH! (He is slammed to the ground by the force of the rosary he wears around his neck.)
     Kagome: Next time on Andy's Null Space: "MST #4: 'Mysteries of the Deep.'" Watch for it!

Assessment of fanfic for the Author:

ANDY: *Note: Andy is currently incapacitated and unavailable to give his opinion of the fic. We apologize for the inconvenience.*

LIME (smiling sweetly): Um...what was the point of this fic, again? We weren't exactly paying attention.

CHERRY: Was your beta-reader out to lunch or something? We're lucky that we only lost one member from mental scarring with all the bad spelling, grammar and characterization. The plot could also use a lot of work.

BLOODBERRY: I wish you'd commit to a course of events. Having my love scene with Otaru interrupted by the Power Puff Girls hotline really ruined the experience for me!

LUCHS: Speaking of the Power Puff Girls, you don't need to be so over the top with your description of the action. The average reader will be able to recognize most references, and understand what's going on without you resorting to Adam West-style sound effects insertions.

WASHU: *Note: Washu is currently busy trying to repair the mental scarring the fic induced on Andy, and unable to give her opinion of the fic. We apologize for the inconvenience.*

Author's Notes:

     Well, there it is. My third MST. Someday I'll be able to catch up to all the fics that are out there. As I was writing this, I read the first five chapters of The Dark Phoenix's AU SMJ series, "Human." Other than a few gripes I have with certain plot elements, it's a very well written series. However, it's also a very depressing fic, so don't read it if you're in a bad mood. The sub-arc that I launched at the end does take some elements from the series, so I would like to credit him here. I plan to wrap up the sub-arc quickly - by the end of InuYasha and Kagome's guest appearance - in time for my first SMJ lemon fic MST (MST #5). But that won't be the last time you'll see The Dark Phoenix's characters in my MSTs, not by a long shot. I think you'll enjoy what I have in store for the future of my MST series. Until then, this is Andy Baker signing off!

MST #3: "Typical Day" OWARI