Top ten signs you might be a frog.
You get mad when you don't find a fly in your soup
You buy out the supply of wart removal cream in your drugstore constantly
French chefs are eyeing your legs and appear to be following you
Bug lamps appear to you as a curse
On applications, you list 'Pond' as your home address
Kermit is your idol
You get mad whenever Miss Piggy makes a pass at Kermit
Have seen the movie 'The Fly' at least ten times
You live in fear that someday you will wind up in a child's aquarium
France is the evil empire to you
A scientist was interested in studying how far bullfrogs
can jump. He brought a bullfrog into his laboratory, set
it down, and commanded, "Jump, frog, jump!"
The frog jumped across the room.
The scientist measured the distance, then noted in his
journal, "Frog with four legs - jumped eight feet."
Then he cut the frog's front legs off. Again he ordered,
"Jump, frog, jump!"
The frog struggled a moment, then jumped a few feet.
After measuring the distance, the scientist noted in his
journal, "Frog with two legs - jumped three feet."
Next, the scientist cut off the frog's back legs. Once
more, he shouted, "Jump, frog, jump!"
The frog just lay there.
"Jump, frog, jump!" the scientist repeated.
Nothing.
The scientist noted in his journal, "Frog with no legs -
lost its hearing."
A frog went to see a psychic and asked her if he'd meet that special someone. The psychic consulted her crystal ball, and then concluded, "Yes, you'll meet a beautiful, intelligent young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog got really excited, and croaked, "When do I get to meet her?" The psychic smiled and said, "In an hour. She has third period biology."