Part Four:Did you know?

Nigel entered the Emergency Room, now dressed in EMT uniform.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Skeffinger," Jacob's assistant, McWhirtley, greeted him.

"Good afternoon--" Nigel began.

He was cut off by a yell:"McWHIRTLEY! WHERE'S MY COFFEE? YOU KNOW HOW CRANKY
I GET WITHOUT MY AFTERNOON JAVA!"

"Coming," the nervous-wreck lackey quickly scurried off.

Back at Acme Headquarters, Zack and Tatyanna were discussing the matter.

"Isn't it strange?" Zack asked. "It's not everyday someone from VILE falls
for someone from Acme."

"Ha," Tatyanna scoffed. "Stranger things have happened in the past and will
happen again." She glanced at Stretch. "I rest my case."

The dog was on his hind legs, shuffling around in a rhythmic movement.

"Uh, Chief?" Zack asked. "Why is Stretch moving around like he's dancing?"

The Chief bounced in his window. "Who else do you know who can 'do the
bloodhound'?"

Ivy came in. "You know, little bro, if this were a sitcom, I'd be eagerly
awaiting the next episode."

Zack shrugged. "If this were TV, I'd either be laughing or crying. But now
that's it's real, it just doesn't seem that funny."

Valerie came in. "I think I'm going to the hospital."

"Um, Val?" Zack called. "You know Nigel better than most of us. What are the
chances that his romantic relationships will work out?"

"The day it works out is the day the position of the stars was in favor when
Romeo and Juliet were born," Valerie replied.

Tatyanna piped up. "What would happen if Nigel and Sara did get married?"

Valerie snorted. "She's dominate him. He'd allow her to stomp all over him. A
couple of years ago, he fell in love with this girl named Judith. He was
eighteen and she was about twenty three. Eventually, Judith left him and got
married. He hasn't dated since. And if you'll excuse me, I must be going."

Ivy nudged her brother. "Zack, is it just me, or did Valerie look different?"

"Now that you mention it, she did."

At the hospital, McWhirtley popped out of the office. "I just told Jacob
you're here. He wants you to sort these bandages." He gave Nigel a large
cardboard box.

Nigel set the box down and began to sort the bandages. It's almost like the
Greek myth where Aphrodite asked Psyche to sort a mountain of seeds, he
thought to himself. Only I don't have an army of ants to help out.

"Oh, sweet sprrrocket!" called a familiar voice.

Nigel cringed and turned around. "Sara, what are you doing here?"

"I volunteered as a candy strrriper." Sara smoothed out the pink and white
striped apron she was wearing.

Nigel groaned softly and turned back to his task.

Sara knew she was being ignored. "Sometimes I don't think you realize zat you
could lose me. Do you rrreally vant to suffer zee tortures of a lost love? Do
you know zee tortures of a memory of a lost love?" She kicked the box of
bandages. "IT'S AWFUL!" She began to throw the box's contents. "It'll haunt
you night and day! You'll vake up at night scrrreaming! You can't eat! You
can't sleep! You'll vant to smash things!" She began to stomp on the box,
flattening it. "You'll hate yourself and the world and everybody in it! Ohh!"
She threw herself down and looked up. "Are you sure you vant to risk losing
me?"

Nigel pushed her away. "I wouldn't marry you unless you were the last gorl on
Earth!"

Sara perked up. "Did you say 'if' or 'unless'?"

Nigel thought a moment. "I admit I said 'unless'."

"Hope." Sara sighed. "There's a production of Troilus and Cressida tonight.
We can hold hands inside the theatre.

Jacob's yell could be heard from the hallway:"SKEFFINGER! WHAT'S ALL THAT
RACKET? CUT IT OUT THIS INSTANT! AND BRING ME THOSE BANDAGES, PERFECTLY
SORTED! IF EVEN ONE IS OUT OF PLACE, I'LL WRING YOUR NECK!"

There was the sound of porcelain shattering.

"CURSES! I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT!" Jacob shouted. "THAT WAS AN EXPENSIVE
MUG! SKEFFINGER, GET IN HERE AND CLEAN UP THIS MESS!"

"Coming, Jacob," Nigel called.

"Drat," Sara muttered. "Why does dat boss have to ruin everything?"

An hour later, Nigel returned to Acme.

Aileen was waiting for him. "Nigel, what do you intend to do about Sara's
crush on you?"

Nigel sighed. "I wish I could just turn into a laurel tree like Daphne."

Aileen raised her eyebrows. "Why are you insisting on pushing her away?"

Nigel looked annoyed. "You'd feel the same way about romance if the only one
you ever loved married someone else!"

Ivy came in. "You have to do something about Sara, loverboy. Either quit Acme
or dump her."

"How I wish I could dump her--like a ton of radioactive waste. But she won't
take no for an answer."

"No?" asked Zack.

"She's not taking it as a question, either."

"But you have to sooner or later," Ivy pressed.

"Yeah," agreed Zack. "I feel like I'm in some twisted love story."

Ivy smirked. "Not that I'm not enjoying it."

Nigel gritted his teeth. "And whose fault is it? Valerie's?" He paused, then
spoke. "Zack, Ivy, summon anyone here. I have some announcements."

Soon, the meeting was in session.

Nigel checked his watch. "Two o' clock. Hmm, Valerie's late, but we can
start. OK, everyone, I have a plan to deal with Miss Bellum. But I'll unveil
it later. He turned. "There's something Valerie's been keeping a secret." He
waited a moment.

Valerie walked in through a side door.

Nigel resumed his speech. "For some time, Valerie's been sweet on Armando.
Meeting adjourned."

Valerie gasped. "Nigel! What are you doing? I wanted to tell him on
Valentine's Day! Not to have it announced to the whole agency!" She ran off
before anyone could say anything.

Everyone turned to Armando, who blushed.

"Well?" the detectives asked in unison.

Armando looked nervous. "Well, what?"

"What do you intend to do about Valerie?" Tatyanna asked. "You saw the way
she reacted. It must be true."

"I don't know." Armando flushed an ever brighter shade of red.

"You're just going to drop her?" Zack asked. "Armando, that really isn't
fair."

"I don't want to drop her. It's just that...I've sorted of liked Valerie
myself. I was just too afraid to ask her out," Armando protested.


In a VILE hideout, Carmen laid out a large map of a museum layout. Now, this
is the plan."

To be continued...