Before I begin this tale of a singles auction, I must inform that Frederick
Payne, Christine Larson, Antithesis, Dr. Martin Shapiro, Francesca
Anderson-Shapiro, Frederick's parents, and the auctioneer are my own
creations. The rest belong to DIC, FOX, Broderbund, etc.

"Can't Buy Me Love" by Mona.

One Thursday afternoon, two ACME detectives sat in a cafe, drinking tea.

"Josha?" Zack asked.
"Yes?"
"Mind if I ask you something?"
"Sure, Zack. Go ahead."
Zack steeled himself, then asked, "Are you in love with Ivy?"
Josha did a spit-take. "Why would you think that?" He paused. "All right. I
can't seem to get her out of my mind. But I can't tell her. I get so timid
and shy each time I look her in the eye. Satisfied?"

The Saturday after that Thursday, the object of Josha's affections, Ivy, was
driving to an office building. "I don't know why I let the Chief talk us into
this," she remarked, referring to the singles auction she and Zack were
heading for.
"It's for charity. Besides, it'll be fun." was Zack's reply.

When the two detectives got to the building, they were ushered into a lounge.
The Chief, as a floating head, was waiting for them. Before he could say
anything, a familiar figure walked in.

"Carmen?!" The trio chorused.

"Yes," Carmen answered. She sat down on the couch with the detectives. "The
Chief said-"

"That you should get out more and cut back on the stealing!" the Chief
finished.

"Thank you, Chief. Besides, I'm a bit stuck on what my next caper should be."

The auctioneer entered. "Number 12."

"That's me!" cried the Chief. He went into the next room to be presented.

The door to the lounge opened unexpectantly. Another participant walked in.
"Announcing -"

Oh no. It couldn't be.....

"The one and only Lee Jordan!"

Oh yes. It could. It is.

Lee noticed for the first time his fellow participants. "Why if it isn't
Carmen Sandiego and the two most annoying detectives to ever grace ACME."

Zack picked up a copy of 'Nature World', a nature magazine and began to read.

Ivy glared at Lee. "Convict, don't you have license plates to make or
something?"

"Ha." Lee snickered. "That's a laugh. Well, Miss High and Mighty, I didn't
expect to find you here. Not to mention Miss Hey-You-Get-Off-My-Cloud next to
you." He continued. "I get out of prison. I entered this auction to get a
weekend date, and who do I cross paths with but this crowd." Carmen and Ivy
rolled their eyes.
"On that space in the entry form, 'What are you looking for in your date', I
wrote 'Someone who's gonna view me as innocent for all the crimes I didn't
commit."

Carmen and Ivy rolled their eyes again. "Yeah right," they muttered, hoping
Lee wouldn't hear. Luckily he didn't.

Lee continued his bragging.

Soon, the Chief came back in. "Hey, guys! The woman who bought me looked
ghastly familar. And guess who she is!"

Just then, Sara Bellum entered. "Wherrrrre do I pay?" she asked in her famous
thick accent.

Carmen was shocked. "Sara!"

"You have no contrrrol overrr my perrrsonal life!" Sara retorted. She strode
over to the treasurer and paid. Then she stomped out. The Chief gave an
embarrased look and followed her.

The auctioneer re-entered. "Number 13?" Zack got up and entered the auction
room, complaining that thirteen was bad luck.

After a while, Carmen was presented.

Then it was Ivy's turn. "Sold to the very determined gentleman in the back
for $150!"
yelled the auctioneer.

Ivy reentered the lounge. "Who bought you?" Zack asked.

The questioned answered itself. Ivy's buyer entered the room, paid the
treasurer, and turned to Ivy. Zack's mouth dropped open. It was not Josha,
but-

"Frederick Payne, at your service." the buyer said, taking Ivy's hand.

Ivy screamed and drew her hand back. "Your hand is cold!"

Frederick recoiled as if Ivy had hit him. "I'm so sorry."

"No, I'm sorry," Ivy said, blushing. "I don't know what came over me. Well,
this is my brother, Zack." Zack and Frederick shook hands. Zack noted that
his hand was freezing cold.

The auctioneer re-entered. "Number 16?"

Lee jumped up. "I am ready to dazzle the ladies."  With this, he struted into
the auction room.

"Egostitistical debonair." Ivy muttered. "It's a miracle he's not
narcissistic. Frederick, mind we stay for a minute? I have to see this."

Lee soon returned."You're back early," Carmen noted.

Lee smirked. "yes, but at least I have a buyer."

Lee's new date came in. She looked shockingly familiar to Zack and Ivy. She
was about Ivy's height, with curly blond hair and green eyes. She wore a pink
dresses with layers of ruffles, a pearl necklace, white gloves, and makeup.

"Antithesis!" Ivy cried.
"But why?" whined Zack.

Antithesis looked squarely at Ivy. "I decided to take a chance. I opened a
$20. Who knew it would be the only bid?" She pulled out her checkbook and
began writing out the check.

"Thanks," Lee said.

"Don't mention it," Antithesis answered. "Look on Ivy's face is thanks
enough!"

"Um, can someone clue me in as to what's going on?" Carmen asked.

Zack whispering in her ear. "That's our cousin on Mom's side. She and Ivy
never get along."

Carmen couldn't believe it. "Zack, remember when I told you your family's
worthy of a sitcom? I rest my case. That apparition of ruffles and lace is
YOUR COUSIN? She looks like she stepped out of a finishing school! All she
needs is a lace hankerchief-"

"Look closely at her left sleeve. It's tucked in there."

"You're kidding." Carmen replied.

A quick glance at the room told Carmen that Ivy and Frederick had already
left. Lee extended his arm. Antithesis put her arm in his and the pair left.

"Zack?" Carmen asked. "Will you be surprised on who your date will be?"

"I just saw my peaches and cream cousin walk out of here on the arm of Lee
Jordan! Nothing will surprise me now."

Zack's buyer entered the room. "Hello." She extended her hand. "Christine
Larson."
Zack shook it. Christine's hand was a lot warmer than Frederick's.

"I see you're reading 'Nature World'," Christine commented. She pulled out
her wallet and began to count out bills. "I work for it as a photographer.
I'm hoping I get a promotion soon." She paid the treasurer, and she and Zack
walked out.

Carmen sighed. Alone.

But not for long. Carmen's buyer entered. He paid the treasurer and turned to
Carmen, smiling. "Good morning. I'm Dr. Martin Shapiro. Aren't you that
famous thief?"

Carmen smiled. "Guilty as charged."

"Well, I find some appeal in the 'outlaw' type.

Carmen nearly laughed.Something about Martin made her weak in the knees.
Could be love at first sight?

To be Continued.....