I quietly stepped down the stairway and entered the kitchen. Someone was in
the refrigerator. I got a better look. The intruder was Dad! "Jeez, Zack!
What were you trying to do? Put my blood pressure in the danger zone?" he
complained jokingly.

"Isn't snacking hazardous to your health?" I asked, glancing at the clock. It
read 1:42.

"Are you kidding? When your mother goes on a cooking kick, snacks are the
only things that keep me alive!"

We both laughed.

"Dad, how would you explain Mom and Ivy?" It just slipped out.

"I usually just change the subject. Those two are so different, they're
alike. And neither one wants to admit it."

As I walked back up the stairs, I couldn't help thinking. We know Mom isn't
too satisfied with our decisions to become detectives. She once said on
crimefighting, "It seems like a thankless task. I would hate to be tossed out
of planes, be nearly run over, and shot at." But, it's odd when you consider
that-

"Zackary?" I heard Dad call from behind me. "Remember your cousin on your
mother's side? I just thought of her."

He was, of course, referring to Rosemary. I absolutely will not tell you
about her. If you even want to know her first name, go ask Ivy. She'll give
you an earful.

My head was so full of dizzying thoughts, I thought I'd never go back to
sleep. I must have drifted off somehow, because the next thing I knew, Dad
was shaking me awake. "Zack! Zack! Wake up! It's breakfast time!"

I got up. I felt so groggy. What is Dad's secret to staying so alert? I mean,
he also stayed up. When I trudged into the kitchen, Dad announced, "Good
morning, everyone."

"OK, buy Oat Bran, kiddies, I said, trying hard not to yawn.

We all burst out laughing. The joke in this bit of inspired lunacy is that
only family sitcom dads say, "Good morning, everyone." So I did a commercial.
Get it now?

To be continued.........