"School Days" by Mona
Author's Note: Warning, this is completely crazy. Don't ask me where this
came from. The idea snagged on to me in my health class, so I decided to get
it down. I guess it's just a reminder of those school days when you dreaded
being put in the same class as your worst enemy. And when class members
played mean jokes on substitutes.


"So, vhat elephants ssmelling maximum newss and lotterrry?" a voice with a
mixed accent called. "Ivy?"

Ivy jolted awake. Where was she? She looked up at Professor Sara Bellum.
"Huh?"

Sara looked annoyed. "I vill ask zee question one morrre time. Vhat elements
of storytelling does Shirley Jackson use in 'Zee Lottery' ?"

"Lottery?" Ivy was confused. "The short story?"

"Did you find this to be a morrrality tale, Ivy? Or a simple horror story?"
She glared across the rest of the room they were in. "Anyone wish to
contribute?"

Ivy looked around the room. She was seated at a small desk at the front of a
classroom. No one else looked familiar, except a brown haired man across the
aisle from her. He looked strangely like....no, it couldn't be. Ivy turned
away.

The familiar classmate raised his hand.

Sara sighed. "Lee?"

Lee read aloud from a sheet of paper. "Shirley Jackson does not take the
point of view of any character in the story, thus heightening the narrative
distance until the final shock, which gives us a look at American mass
psychology."

"Excellent analysis, Mrrr. Jorrrdan."

Lee grinned smugly. Ivy resisted the urge to throw her textbook at him. She
knew that Lee that copied that answer somewhere. Just like him to cheat. She
cringed. Lee was her classmate and Sara Bellum was her teacher? And how did
she get in this classroom?

"Oh, I've had it with sshorrrt storrries!" Sara picked up a book and threw it
down. "Let's sswitch to math."

Sara walked to a chalkboard. "Mark has three siblings. The product of their
ages is thirty six. The sum of their ages is thirtten. How old are they?"

A girl raised her hand. "Miss Bellum? You didn't give us enough information
to solve this problem."

Sara flew into a rage. "OF COURRRSE I GAVE YOU ENOUGH INFORMATION!" She threw
a math textbook. It struck the wall with a thud. "AND IF YOU HAVE A PRRROBLEM
WITH ZAT, KELLY, YOU CAN COME UP AND DO THE PRRROBLEM ON THE BOARD FOR US!"

Kelly quavered with fear. "There are two possible combinations,"

Sara interrupted. "I VILL NOT TOLERRRATE RRREBEL RRROUSERRRS! IS MOST BE
RRROOOSHING ZEESE NOTESS BECAUSE IS COMING AN EARTHQUAKE!"

"That's enough, Miss Bellum," a familiar voice called.

Sara gasped. "Miss Sandiego!"

Carmen entered the room. "I heard you yelling at these poor students clear
across the hall in my office. I know you're stressed out, but you should see
a psychiatrist."

"And who vill teach them?"

"I've already arranged for a substitute. And until it arrives, I'll take
over.

Sara groaned and walked out the door.

Carmen closed the door. "Well," she began softly and picked up a book. "Would
you like me to read 'The Moonstone' ?"

"Hey, Principal Sandiego! Look at me!" Lee yelled from his desk. He got up
out of his seat, jumped on his desk surface, and tried to execute a dance
move . However, he tripped over his feet and fell to the floor with a crash.
Everybody laughed.

What a showoff, Ivy thought to herself.

Carmen rolled her eyes. "Very amusing, Mr. Jordan."

"They don't say I hold the record for suspensions for nothing!"

Ivy buried her head in her arms. If Carmen was the principal, why didn't she
just expell Lee?

Carmen picked up 'The Moonstone', and began to read. Thirty minutes passed
uneventfully. Then there was a knock at the door. Carmen got up to open it.
"Ah, here is your substitute. Treat him well. Anyone who fails to do so," she
looked pointedly at Lee, who grinned and doffed his cap, "will deal with
yours truly."

Carmen left the room.

And in walked Zack.

The fourteen year old stood at the front of the room. "Good morning,
everyone. I am Mr- oh, let's drop the formalities. Call me Zack. But I must
tell you that I will be teaching this class." As Zack spoke, a spitball flew
past him and landed with a splat on the chalkboard.

"And I'll be disrupting it!" Lee called from his seat.

Zack ignored Lee and went to the teacher's desk. "Math lesson. Word
problems." He opened a math textbook. Lee motioned for a guy sitting across
the room to throw a paper airplane. It landed in front of the "substitute
teacher". Zack unfolded it, read it with an embarrassed look, then tossed it
in the wastebasket. He read the problem Sara had read earlier. Then he added,
"The eldest reads a lot."

Kelly raised her hand. "The siblings are two, two, and nine."

"That's correct."

"Math nerd," Lee called from his seat.

Ivy burned with rage. What had Kelly done to Lee? And it was typical of him
to torture the substitute. And the substitute was Zack? How could this be? He
didn't have a license to teach. Oh, groan! How can you survive a class when
your brother's teaching?

A note fell on Ivy's desk. She made sure no one was watching, then opened it.
It read, "The paper airplane said,'Welcome to our humble class. A warmup for
the better stuff to come.' At exactly 9:05, drop your textbook on the floor."


Ivy frowned and crumpled it up. 9:05 was only fifteen minutes off.

Zack continued reading problems aloud. He seemed oblivious to the fact that
his sister was sitting in front of him. A few of the kids answered the
problem. Then Paper Airplane Number Two came flying. It flew above Zack's
head. He glared, reached up, and grabbed it in midair. There were snickers.

Then 9:05 hit. Half the class dropped their textbooks on the floor. The other
half snickered.

Zack looked a little nervous. "I'd advise you to stop these childish pranks.
Lunch isn't for another three hours."

Ivy looked over at Lee. The malicious grin on his face told her he was
planning something. Maybe it was more than a 'childish prank'. Maybe it was a
total retaliation!

To be Continued.....