The Two Mouse Wanted
by Laurie LeBlanc
{This is simply a work of fan-fiction. Pinky and the Brain are copyright Warner Brothers.
The characters of "Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?" are copyright Dic
Productions and Broderbund Software. Carmen Sandiego is a registered trademark of
Broderbund Software. All the characters are used without permission.
Time frame of this story is spring of '95, before the episode of "Where on Earth..."
"When it Rains" aired. Also, Carmen was still on Fox then!}
(Scene: The Acme Labs where Pinky is watching an episode of Where on Earth
is Carmen Sandiego? while Brain is scribbling something on a piece of paper.
Both are inside their cage.)
Pinky: Narf! Hey Brain, this a kinda neat show!
Brain: (walks over to Pinky and grabs his nose) Pinky, you are watching a
show from our former network! What did I tell you about doing that?
(releases Pinky's nose)
Pinky: Sorry Brain. I forgot. It's just that this is a good show.
Brain: (sarcastically) Oh yes, that's a show with a realistic plot!
Teenagers chasing a professional thief who enjoys stealing world treasures!
Why the child labor laws alone would-
Pinky: Yeah, but it's just TV. It doesn't have to make sense.
Brain: Which is probably why you enjoy watching it so much. It, like you,
doesn't make much sense at all.
(Brain walks to the remote control. His foot is just above the 'off' button
and he is about ready to step on it when he glances at the TV and sees a
balloon, with Carmen in it, fly off with the Tower of London. Suddenly his
eyes light up and he brings his foot back on the cage floor.)
Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so Brain, but plaid does nothing for me.
Brain: (bonks Pinky on the head.) No, Pinky. That television show has
given me an idea of how to take over the world!
Pinky: You mean we're going to dress in red and have Zack and Ivy chase us?
Brain: (growls) No, Pinky. We are going to steal a precious landmark
from every country in the world and ransom them off. The countries must
make me their leader before they'll see their landmarks again. I doubt
they'd want to live without them so they'd give into my demand. Then Pinky,
we'll have taken over the world!
Pinky: Zounds, Brain, brilliant! Oh wait...no, no. How are we going to
steal those landmarks? They're so big and we're so small.
Brain: Well, how does Carmen manage to steal things every week?
Pinky: With large machines, Brain.
Brain: Exactly and I know just where to get them.
Pinky: Really? Poit! Where ya gonna get them?
Brain: From the world Carmen calls home. In fact, I know how to get there.
Pinky: How?
Brain: With a special invention of mine I call the television dimensional
transporter. We'll use the invention to transport ourselves into the
television world Carmen calls home, steal some of her inventions and then
use my invention to return to our world. After we do, we'll use Carmen's
machines to steal landmarks from around the world and then the ransoming
will begin!
Pinky: I don't think that's going to work.
Brain: You doubt me, Pinky?
Pinky: Yes 'cause that'll make Carmen mad us Brain. She hates when someone
steals from her. It makes-
Brain: Who cares! We're going to take over the world! Why should we worry
about how some character from another world likes us?
Pinky: Well, then I guess it's no big deal.
Brain: Come Pinky! To the transporter!
(Brain picks the cage lock with his tail. Door opens. Brain jumps out and
Pinky follows. They walk over to a counter with a blue box. The box
resembles a TV with antennas. Inside are many control panels and two
miniature seats. Brain sits in the left one and Pinky sits in the right
one. Brain press a yellow button and the machine spins around and around
and then disappears with a colorful amount of sparks. The scene fades out
and fades in in a large room with a multitude of red vehicles. Sparks
appear and so does the transporter. It spins briefly and then stops.
When it does, Pinky and Brain exit.)
Pinky: Narf! We must be here!
Brain: (whispers) Yes, this appears to be a storage place of some kind.
Let us look around to find what we will need.
Pinky: (loudly) Righty-o, Brain!
Brain: (in a raised whisper voice) Quiet Pinky! We must not be heard!
(They walk over to a red motorcycle and climb up to it's control panel.
Pinky sees a blue button.)
Pinky: Wonder what this does. (steps on button.)
(Wings come out of sides of cycle.)
Brain: Pinky!
(voices and footsteps heard)
Carmen's voice: Do you think you could fix it, professor?
Professor's voice: I'll have to look at it first.
(sound of footsteps is getting closer)
Brain: (whispers) Hide, Pinky! We mustn't be seen! (he crawls in the
left sidecar) Hurry Pinky! Get in here!
(Pinky rushes to join Brain, but gets his tail caught on a switch. He tugs
and tries to free himself. He is panicking and sweating as he tugs on his
tail trying to free himself. Carmen and the professor that she called on to
look at the broken cycle walk over to the cycle with the struggling Pinky
and notice him.)
Pinky: I'm stuck Brain! Narf! Help!
(Carmen grabs Pinky's tail and free it. She grabs Pinky when he tries to
run away and lifts him to about eye level.)
Pinky: (still looking worried) Uh, hello.
(Carmen's eyes raise. She is quite surprised by a talking mouse.)
Carmen: Well, hello there.... (she looks like she want to say more, but
seems temporarily at a loss for words.)
Pinky: (gaining his confidence) I guess you've never seen a talking mouse
before. I'm Pinky. I've seen you on TV a lot.
Carmen: (her eyes are back to normal) I see. (pauses and looks a little
curious) What are you doing here?
Pinky: I'm here with my friend Brain. We want to-
Brain's voice: (from sidecar) Quiet Pinky! Do NOT tell her of our plan!
Carmen: It seems that your friend has a secret he wishes to hide from me.
(She glances at the professor, who after some struggling manages to get
Brain out of the sidecar.)
Professor: (he holds Brain at about his eye level and says) Hello little
mousy. What are you doing here?
Brain: I despise being called 'little mousy.'
Professor: You seem to be a well educated mouse.
Brain: YES! In fact, that is the reason I have an incredibly large
protruding skull.
Pinky: He's so smart he thinks he can take over the world!
Brain: Pinky!
Carmen: So, that is why you are here. You want to use some of my
inventions to help you with your plan.
Brain: You seem to pick things up quickly.
Pinky: Well, she was a detective, Brain.
Brain: I see.
Carmen: (to Pinky) Why don't you tell me more about your plan?
Pinky: (looking at Brain for help) Should I Brain?
Brain: (folds his arms and sarcastically says) Why not? You've told her
everything else!
Pinky: Okay. You see, we're here to steal-
Brain: No Pinky! I was joking!
Professor: What should we do with them, Carmen?
Carmen: I'm not really sure.
Professor: (squeezes Brain) Talk or I'll squeeze you to death!
Carmen: (angrily) Stop at once!
Brain: (still being squeezed and gasping for air) Fine! I'll talk! I'll
talk!
(The professor stops. Brain pants)
Carmen: (annoyed) That was quite unnessary of you. (The professor bows
his head.)
Brain: (still panting) Yes....it was. (regains his breath) My associate
Pinky and I are two lab mice who have escaped from our cage to begin our
plan for total world domination. We traveled from our world to yours to
steal some of your inventions and use them in our world to steal precious
landmarks from around the globe and ransom them off. The ransom will be to
establish me as their leader. Since they would not want to live without
them, they will establish me as their leader and I will RULE THE WORLD!
Carmen: (smiles) I admire your thinking, but such a plan would never
succeed.
Brain: Why not? It's brillant!
Carmen: You lack one element that is a must for your plan to succeed.
Brain: And that is?
Carmen: Experience, my friend. You have no experience with such thefts.
An amateur such as yourself would inevitably fail.
Brain: So you are telling me that even a mouse of my intellengence could
not carry out such a plan?
(Carmen nods with a smile on her face.)
Brain: (folds his arms) I want proof!
Carmen: Well, I could tell you want happened to Sara Bellum but-
Brain: Who is that?
Carmen: She was an associate of mine who tried to prove that she was the
greatest thief in the world. She was very intelligent, but was not of sound
mind when she tried that little caper.
Brain: But, she went insane. Regardless of her intelligence, her insanity
ruled her! I am not insane! I am merely a mouse driven to conquer the
Earth!
Professor: (whispers to Carmen) That's his opinion.
Brain: I heard that!
Carmen: Well my fuzzy friend-
Brain: I despise being called 'fuzzy friend.'
Carmen: Very well, Brain I will not call you that.
Brain: I would like you to train us to become master thieves like you so we can
carry out our plan.
Carmen: Oh, I never train people, or mice for that matter, to work for
themselves.
Brain: Afraid of the competition?
Carmen: No. In fact, in the words of famous philosopher, 'competition can
make you stronger.'
Brain: Which philosopher said that?
Carmen: (with a smirk) Me.
Brain: Your boasting astounds me.
Pinky: Well, she is good, Brain.
Brain: (turns to Pinky and yells) Quiet, Pinky! (turns towards Carmen)
Carmen, please could you reconsider and train us?
Carmen: Well, I could give you a taste of one of my escapes. (glances
at a red motorcycle similar to the one that needs repairs.) I can show
you what a cycle like this can do.
Brain: Fine. I suppose it's a beginning.
(Carmen walks over the cycle she glanced at. The professor follows. Carmen
gets on cycle and places Pinky in her left pocket. He holds on to the edge
of it and his head is just over it so he can see. He has a smile on his
face.)
Pinky: Oh goodie! We're going for a ride! Narf!
Carmen: (to professor) Hand me the other mouse.
(The professor does so. Carmen puts Brain in her right pocket and he holds
on to the edge of it. His head too is just over the pocket's edge. Carmen
starts up the cycle and it speeds out of the storage area. Pinky and Brain
hold onto the pockets for dear life. Pinky is laughing while Brain is
screaming. Suddenly, the road up ahead looks like it's about to end.)
Brain: We're going off the cliff!
(Carmen pushes a silver button on the cycle and it sprouts wings on each
side, a tail and two rocket boosters in the back. The cycle flies back into
the storage area. It lands and Carmen gets off. She then takes the two
mice out of her pockets and places them on the ground. Pinky is smiling and
Brain looks dizzy and sick to his stomach.)
Pinky: Narf! That was fun!
Brain: (wobbles in circles) You call that fun?! (passes out)
(Carmen kneels down to take a look at the unconsious Brain. Pinky runs over
to him. He kneels beside him.)
Pinky: Brain? Are you all right?
(A moment later Brain sits up.)
Brain: How often do you escape like that, Carmen?
Carmen: Fairly often, my friend.
Pinky: Yeah, or she has this jet pack thingy that she zooms off into the
sky. Or the rope thingy that comes out of her wrist that she goes shooting
up to the roof with. Or-
(Brain groans and passes out again.)
Carmen: (turns to Pinky) I don't think your friend is ready for this.
Pinky: No, guess not. I think if he didn't have such a weak stomach, he
could do this stuff.
Carmen: (smiles and slyly chuckles) Yes, indeed. I do wonder if he'll
give up trying to take over the world for awhile.
Pinky: No, he'll just give up for tonight.
Carmen: He's rather persistant, I see.
(Brain gets up.)
Brain: (groans) I really don't think I'm cut out for this line of work.
(shakes his head) Come Pinky, let us leave this place.
Carmen: (grabs Brain's tail) Not so fast, my friend.
Brain: (gulps) You're not going to imprison us for spying, are you?
Carmen: No, seeing you are from another world, what good would this
information be to anyone? (slyly) Unless-
Brain: Unless what?
Carmen: (slyly) Unless you planned on returning to this world and telling
someone about what you saw. But then again-
Brain: What? What?
Carmen: (smirks) Who would believe talking mice anyway? (lets go of
Brain's tail)
Brain: You're being rather difficult with me.
Pinky: I TOLD you Carmen doesn't like the idea of people stealing from her.
That's why she's-
Brain: Quiet Pinky, or I shall have to hurt you.
Carmen: (frowns at Brain) That was uncalled for.
Pinky: Oh he always says that. I'm used to it. He bops me on the head and
stuff too, but I don't mind.
(Carmen shakes her head.)
Brain: May we leave?
Carmen: Of course, but first I would like to see the invention that brought
you here.
Brain: (motions) Follow me.
(Carmen follows the mice over to Brain's invention. She looks at it with
great interest.)
Carmen: What a wonderful invention.
Brain: Why thank you.
Carmen: You know, I would really like to know how you made that. Perhaps
you could-
Brain: (grabs Pinky pulls him inside the transporter. He then hits the
button and says quickly) Perhaps some other time.
(The machine spins around and around and then disappears with a colorful
amount of sparks. The scene fades out and fades in at Acme Labs. Sparks
appear and so does the transporter. It spins briefly and then stops. When
it does, Pinky and Brain exit.)
Pinky: Why didn't you tell Carmen how you made this thingy?
Brain: Are you kidding? It would be dangerous to let a thief like her
exist in this world! Besides, she'd steal all the landmarks before I could
complete my plan to do so. (Sighs) I must forget that plan and plan for
tomorrow night.
Pinky: Why? What are we gonna do tomorrow night?
Brain: The same thing we do ever night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!
Chorus: "They're dinky, they're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain,
Brain, Brain, Brain."
(Fade out.)
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