THE NAMING OF HENCHMEN *All characters mentioned are beloning to the show and the original poem was "The Naming of Cats" by TS Eliot* The naming of henchmen is a difficult matter, It isn't just one of your "Sandiego" games. You may think at first I'm as mad as Miss Bellum When I tell you that henchmen have three styles of names. First of all, there's the name that is worth some scorn, Such as Al Loy, Clare E Net, Cora Net or Ken Do. Such as Tim Ber or Ace Bandage, Iggy Nition or Candy Korn, All of them punny, but not bad all through. There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter, Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames. Such as Pearl Diver, Minnie Series, Lars Vegas, Moe Skeeter, All of them punny but low key names. But I tell you a henchman needs a name that's particular, A name that is punny, not the least dignified! Else how can he keep his head perpendicular, Spread his arms and fight like a girl with pride? Of names of this kind I can give to a degree, Such as Phil M Critic, Stan Dinn or Frank M Poster. Such as Hannah Lulu, or else Pop A Wheelie, Names never to be rivaled once on the roster. But above and beyond there is still one name left over, And that is the name the fourm never will guess. The name that no ACME research can discover, But the grunt himself knows but to it, will never confess. When you notice a henchman in profound meditation, The reason, I tell you, is always the same His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation, Of the thought, Of the thought, Of the thought of his pun name. His un-re-do-able, shameful, embarresmental, Low and inscrutable, Singular PUN!!!!!!!