"Carmen in Shakespeareland" by Mona
Disclaimer: The characters of WOEICS are the property of DIC, FOX,
Broderbund, and whoever else owns them. The Shakespeare plays, while used
without permission, are used with respect. I will try to do each featured
play justice. All portrayals of the forum members are only in fun. I do not
mean to offend anyone. Nigel, Valerie, Sarah Struthers and other non-WOEICS
characters are my own creation. The Willis Hybrid isn't a real flower! I made
it up! Please don't take me to court. I'll be so bored, I'll sleep through my
own trial.

Part One- How to wreck a play.... and other thefts
(3:00 PM New York)
"It's beautiful. Simply marvelous." Carmen Sandiego commented to her
henchman, Art Issan.

"Glad you like it, boss," Art replied. He turned his attention back to the
bust of William Shakespeare he was sculpting.
*******************************************************
(6:00 San Francisco)
"Zack? Will you hurry up?" Ivy complained. The two detectives were in ACME
Headquarters. "The play starts in an hour!"

Zack read aloud from the book he was reading. "There is a curse associated
with Macbeth. On the night it was to be performed- the actor playing Lady
Macbeth got sick and died. William Shakespeare had to take over the role
himself. They didn't allow women to act back then."

Ivy sighed and took the book from him as Aileen came in.

"Still hasn't gotten over the superstition?" Aileen asked.

"No." Ivy answered. "We're not even going to see Macbeth! Nigel, what are we
going to see?"

Detective Nigel answered, "We are going to see "A Midsummer Night's Dream"!

Nigel's partner and fellow Shakespeare enthasiast, Valerie, exclaimed,
"You'll love it. It's a great comedy about a love potion that goes wrong."

Armando Arguella entered. "I tried to convince Josha to come with us, but
he's stuck in his lab working on his newest invention."

Tatyanna entered the room. "Is everyone ready?"

Everyone shouted in agreement.

Aileen announced, "Let's get we to the hillery."

"That's a good one." Nigel commented.

"A takeoff of  'Get thee to a nunnery'," Valerie replied. "From Hamlet."

Nigel cut in. "Hamlet is also famous for these lines." He cleared his throat
and recited,
"Speak the speech I pray you as I pronounced to you, trippingly on the
tongue; but if you mouth as many of our players do, I has as lief the town
crier spoke my lines. Nor do not saw the air too much with your hand thusm
but use all gently; for in the very torrent, tempest, and as I may say,
whirlwind of your passion, you must acquire and beget a temperance that may
give it smoothness . Oh it offends me to the soul, to hear a robustious
periwig-pated fellow tear a position to tatters to very rags, to split the
ears of groundlins, who for the most part are capable of nothing but
inexplicable dumb shows and noise. I would such have a fellow whipped...." he
stopped short. "Sorry, I get carried away."

"Wow, you really know your Shakespeare," Tatyanna said admiringly.

"I don't know why, but I keep thinking something's bound to go wrong!" Zack
complained when they reached the theatre.

"You're just being paranoid," Ivy retorted.

The play began. Everyone watched with interest. Finally Puck was starting to
close the scene: "If we shadows have offended-"

He was cut off by a rallying call. "Let's fry the slime buckets!"

Roger Keller, the actor playing Puck, turned red. "How rude! In my entire
acting career, never have I been upstaged like that!" He stormed off. The
audience tittered.

Suddenly, Moe Skeeter and Lars Vegas ran onstage.

The detectives leaped from their seats. They walked quietly down the aisles
single file.

"Moe? What were we supposed to steal?" Lars asked.

"A flower, you idiot!" snapped Moe.

"Which one?"

"The love potion one, stupid!"

"Couldn't we just snatch the antedote one? It smells good."

"You're not making off with anything!" Ivy called from the edge of the stage.
"Ready, guys?"

Pandemonium erupted. Several generic henchmen ran in. The audience sat,
frozen.
Someone considered calling the police.

In the wings, Carmen and Sara were observing what was happening. "I have the
perrrrfect solution on how to deal with those two nitwits!" Sara was saying.
"Strangle them, then fire them. Then strangle them again!" She was using a
marker to write on a piece of cardboard. She then walked on stage.

Ivy eyed the sign Sara Bellum was holding. "Go backstage so Carmen can
strangle you!" she read aloud. "Thanks for the tip!" She noted everyone's
position. Most of the other detectives were handcuffing the generic henchmen.
Armando was scaring Moe and Lars. They were running blindly. Zack ran,
announcing he was getting a bucket of water.

Ivy slipped backstage. Carmen stood on a platform. Ivy began to climb. She
reached the top just as the master thief was at the edge. "You are under
arrest!"

Carmen smiled, then leaped off the platform, holding on to a rope. Ivy
grabbed the rope, which snapped. The two fell onto a soft mat.

"Goodbye, detective. Here is your clue." Carmen tossed two piecesof paper to
Ivy. Then she escaped through the trapdoor.

Ivy groaned. Carmen had gotten away again.

Things didn't get any better onstage. A reporter named Sarah Struthers was
doing a newsreport. "Today, this theatre is the scene of a real-live
calamity."

As she spoke, Zack came running in with a bucket of water. He dumped it at
Moe and Lars.

But he missed. The water hit Miss Struthers, who said into her microphone,
"This is Sarah Struthers saying good evening, AND I QUIT!"

When the confusion finally cleared, the manager quickly surveyed the props.
"Oh no! The Willis Hybrid is gone!"

"What?" asked Tatyanna.

The manager explained, "The play was performed for a group of botanists. We
used an example of a rare flower breed called the Willis Hybrid for a prop.
We preserved it with a special freeze drying process. And now it's gone!"

An hour later, Zack; Ivy; Valerie; and Nigel were discussing what had
happened to the Chief.

Ivy read the clue. "Before a cannon sparks, let me take you back in time to
England's famous theatre. And this second piece is a list."

"Let me see that," Valerie requested. She examined the paper. "It's a list of
Shakespeare plays. And "A Midsummer Night's Dream" is checked off. So is 'Two
Noble Kinsman.' "

"Back in time? Maybe Carmen's stealing something from the past," Zack
suggested.

"Cannon spark?" Nigel noted. "Isn't that what burned down the Globe Theater
in 1613?"

Everyone reached the same conclusion. Carmen was going back in time to steal
the Globe Theatre before it burned down!

To be continued.......