My dearest love,
I don’t want to
Embarrass you
But it has to be said
I love you
I love you
I love you
It’s just something I have to get off my chest
All the things I feel
Even if I can’t find words
I love you
I love you
I love you
I know I should release you
But how can I give up
What was never mine?
I love you
I love you
I love you
I worship and adore you
Only you
Always you
I love you
Wind to thy wings
Till next we meet
Forever yours
With all my love
Beloved.

Arigato
For everything you’ve done
You’re wonderful in every way
Arigato my friend
Atashi wa watashi day yo
You understand that
Thank you for forgiving, and knowing that
I am always me
Arigato
For being amazing and perfect
You’re more than I deserve
Arigato my love

Fantasy

Farewell, my dream, my fantasy
Today I find truth in her eyes
Dreams fly through my mind, shattered
The invisible cut bleeds and scars
To broken dreams I shed only red tears
Crimson and scarlet, colors of the heart’s blood

As all I wish in my heart is shattered
I cling to the shards of dreams and fantasy
Grasping in vain at the lies I sew with my eyes
Eyes which now see truth and shed tears
And my dying heart soaks me in blood
The slashes in my heart will never form scars

She watches with unknowing forest eyes
Unaware that all my world has shattered
That her words destroyed my fantasy
And now my hopes only lie awash in blood
The loss of my dream will not heart, leave my heart covered in scars
Though her words weren’t meant to cause tears

Her wish granted, the death of my fantasy
I wish her well, see the joy in her eyes
And cannot say across barriers not shattered
That my love had left me with a thousand scars
That her joy causes my heart to drip red tears
And she sees not where bleeds my blood

The death of my fantasy I hide from her eyes
Speak not of dreams shattered or hope marred with scars
I’ll wait alone for my tears, and mourn only as I drown in my own blood.

I’m the most beautiful of the plain
The most musical of the tone-deaf
The most dramatic of the stoic
The smartest of the dull
The brightest of the dim
The most arrogant of the humble
The most perfect of the flawed
I’m the most of everything I despise
And the least of what I desire
Just enough to hate all
That I am...
Not yours.

Haiku III

Hopeless is my lot
I’ll not deserve your love which
I’ve aspired for years


Stream of Conscious Poem III

So
On a scale of one two ten, I’m and eight and a half
For happiness today
My plan is successful
If no one realizes I’m a two or so
It’s not
It’s not
It’s not fair!
Why can’t anyone else cry?
If I weren't the only one
I wouldn’t feel so guilty
When I do.
She’s got a problem
And won’t tell what
I don’t know what to do
I feel
So helpless
I can’t even solve my problems
So how can I solve others?
Tears
One tear
Why can’t I cry
One tear
Without guilt?
I know if she tells me
She’ll feel helpless
But I feel helpless too
Like I can’t control anything
Anymore
Except to keep my tears
At bay.