| . i . see . you . hear . me . -january 2001- paper speaks allowed and i am honestly listening. very hard with my ears pressed to the door and my small fingers crossed in the sleeves of my sweater. and im not sure but it doesn't sound like very much is going on in there and i don't really feel like. knocking. january by candlelight and i'd rather be changing like the leaves they are oh so dependable. slumped to the ground now i am desperate hearing something anything. nothing. no hearts beating. it's a bit frightening i must admit i'm shaking to be honest. the january floors are cold. my insides say they are feeling somewhat sick but i swear to god i'm feeling so much better. if my insides had disappeared and i had blank lines like a new sheet of paper. paper to squeeze yer heart into. and big words would be nice right now. full and interesting and i could close my eyes to you talking and yer words would mean much more than you think they would. i think it's meant more to me in a few months than summer would. one day we will figure it out and i will feel as good as i do sometimes when my shoes fit just right. when it's this very moment and the words i swallow wouldn't matter anyway if said. even corrrectly. if i knew what i wanted to say it wouldn't come out as a stare instead of words. *me .back. |