“Victoria, wake up!” a loud voice exclaimed in the darkness. Victoria slowly awoke to find her roommate, Melissa Carlson, shaking her to life. “It’s ten o’clock already, you don’t want to be late for our graduation!” Quickly pulling herself out of her reverie Victoria began the mundane motions of dressing in her school uniform. She checked herself in the mirror, noting that the laundry had yet again shrunk her already short skirt. No time to worry about that now however, her wild, red hair needed to be tamed. A few strokes of her brush, and it was perfect. “I could almost look pretty,” she thought modestly.
The ballroom was alive with music and light as Victoria and Melissa arrived a short time later. They entered through a high archway to hear the latest in jazz music being played by the orchestra. Women in brightly coloured dresses swept through the room with their dashingly handsome partners in perfect time to the music. Victoria scanned the room, searching the sea of faces for someone that she recognized.
Meanwhile, Antonio was in his car, speeding along the coastline. He’d always loved the coast, the sound of the waves crashing against the shoreline. He had grown up in this part of California and lived there for most of his life until he decided to leave to travel. It was in his blood, a love of that rugged, mountainous terrain. He wondered how easy it would be to leave again. He wondered especially, after meeting Victoria. Somehow, no matter what he did, he couldn’t get her off of his mind. From the moment that he saw her on the stage receiving her diploma, he had known that there was something special about her.
Victoria arose early the next morning, ready with her belongings to meet Jenkins, the family chauffeur, when he arrived to pick her up. The dormitory was virtually empty, all of the other girls having gone home the previous night. She wandered the halls, years of memories flooding back to her. Several years of her life had been spent there and fond memories returned to her. It seemed strange, how unafraid of the future she felt. She felt as though she could do anything or be anyone that she chose to be. One part of her life was ending and she was waiting excitedly for the curtain to rise on the next act.
Dressed in a blue dress that she liked but she knew her mother detested, Victoria descended the stairs of her mansion, ready to receive and mingle with the invited guests at the party. Supposing herself to be early, Victoria was surprised to see Emily Carlson and Melissa standing in the front entrance, talking to her mother.
The next morning as Victoria went about her usual routine, she was once again haunted by the previous evening’s events. It seemed almost surreal to her, as if her life had suddenly become someone else’s; though she had somehow become a glamorous movie character or the lead in some Shakespearian play. “This kind of excitement doesn’t happen to people like me!” she thought.
The dock was crowded and loud, filled with the bustle of a soon to be departing ship. Victoria, clutching only her purse and a small suitcase, scanned the crowd for Antonio. The ship’s whistle blew signaling the impending departure. Anxiously, Victoria asked a passing gentleman for the time. “Five to twelve,” he replied. Victoria again searched the dock. Antonio had told her that the ship was leaving at twelve, and that he would meet her at the dock at quarter to twelve.
As Victoria slowly walked up her driveway, her hopes of making her entrance without anyone seeing were dashed. On her front porch stood her mother, chatting amiably with their neighbour, Mrs. Bennett. Standing next to her was a tall, blonde man who Victoria didn’t recognize.
Mark arrived around 4 o’clock, and Victoria was waiting for him. Fearful of what her mother could again insinuate, Victoria hurried Mark off to the stables; away from her family’s watchful eyes.
The show’s director, a gentleman in his mid sixties named Noel Levesque, entered Mark’s temporary office and sat, with great presence, on a leather sofa facing Mark’s desk. Victoria, sitting in a chair in a corner behind Mark’s desk, was instantly intimidated by him. When he spoke, he spoke softly and gently in the tones of a well-trained classical actor. He did not need to raise his voice to make a point, he instantly commanded respect.
Having been briefed by Mark the previous night on all of the theatre protocol, Victoria dug out her old script of Romeo and Juliet and began re-reading her lines. Within minutes, every word came rushing back to her. She had always loved Romeo and Juliet, the romantic tragedy appealed to her melodramatic side. Being cast as Juliet in the school version of her play had been thrilling. She re-lived the moment over in her mind0 when the curtain had fallen on opening night and she had heard the thunderous applause of the audience. She remembered how her classmates had crowded the backstage to congratulate her. And now she got to do it all over again, only now it was even bigger and more important. Part of her was terrified and wanted nothing more than to rush next door and tell Mark that she couldn’t do it. Another part of her yearned to get on stage again, to once again be in the spotlight. And somewhere in her the faint hope lurked that Antonio would hear about her fame and come to see her. She would forgive him on the spot, she knew that, and then they’d leave together for some glamourous, beautiful destination; the type of place that Romeo and Juliet had desired run away to.
“'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Suddenly, she heard a voice from below proclaim, “I take thee at thy word.” Later that morning, Victoria sat curled up with her script in her hands when her mother breezed in. “Victoria, there you are. My darling actress. I cannot believe that I will soon have a famous daughter.”
The next few weeks flew by in a blur of rehearsals and preparations for Victoria’s theatre debut. She quickly found her place among the cast and immediately won the hearts of those around her with her talent and easygoing charm.
The opening scenes of Romeo and Juliet flew by as Victoria watched from the wings, awaiting her cue. As her first scene began, Victoria turned and glanced at Mark, a terrified look in her eyes. Giving her a gentle push, Victoria entered the stage. She glanced out to the audience and saw nothing but a shadows and outlines. The stage lights shone brightly and she suddenly felt an odd serenity.
The gala was already in full swing as the cast and crew of the play arrived at the Kildare estate. Automobiles lined up both sides of the street, and the mansion was ablaze with lights and music. The sounds of a string orchestra floated out the doors as Victoria entered the hall. Feeling out of place in her everyday clothes, she attempted to sneak up the stairs to her room to change into something more appropriate. Reaching the stair landing, she heard her mother’s voice calling out from below.
***
For Victoria, the next two years flew by in what seemed like an instant. Her success in the theatre flourished, and she was offered roles in some of the most prominent theatres in the area.
Victoria laid the three dresses out on her bed and studied them. Shaking her head, she cursed herself for not having gone shopping earlier in the day. The first dress she liked, but she had already worn to several cast parties. The second one had been her mother’s choice, and was a hideous monstrosity of bright red that made her look like an elderly matron. She scowled and tossed that one back into the closet. The third one, an exquisite creation of silk, lace, and sparkles seemed, to Victoria, to be more fitted to a ball or a wedding than to dinner with an old friend.
Victoria did think about it, long into the night. When she awoke the next morning she was exhausted and more confused than ever. Although she kept telling herself it wasn’t, in the back of her mind she knew that Antonio was the reason behind her reluctance to accept Mark’s proposal. No matter how ridiculous it seemed, she’d always keep that glimmer of hope that he would return to her.
The early morning sun glistened on the water as the waves crashed into the shore of the beach. For anyone else it would be a peaceful, romantic scene, but Mark was blind to it. He cursed his actions of the previous night, regretting ever baring his heart to Victoria. Of course she wouldn’t want to marry him – why would she? She’d never given him any indication that she thought of him as anything more than a friend. How could he have been so stupid? With a frustrated sigh, he climbed to the top of a nearby rock, stripped off his shirt, and dove into the water.
Victoria walked towards the beach, Anna’s words still ringing in her head. Antonio was not an ideal that she had created – he was her one true love. She knew that he was, although she had found herself entirely unable to explain why that was when Anna had asked her. She also couldn’t explain exactly why it was that she wanted to marry Mark. She knew it was a sensible thing to do, but there was something else as well.
***
“The Philadelphia Story” was a success, as was “The Importance of Being Earnest”, which was Victoria’s next theatrical venture. Nonetheless, Victoria was restless. Her mother had hoped for a quick marriage after the announcement of her engagement to Mark, but Victoria was increasingly reluctant to begin wedding plans. Eventually, it was mutually decided by Victoria, her parents, and her fiancée that she was in need of a vacation. The war in Europe limited her travel options, so Victoria finally decided on Hawaii as the destination of her choice.
***
Dressed in a backless red dress with matching heels and a diamond necklace, Victoria knocked on Antonio’s door. She was early and she hoped that her early arrival would not take him by surprise. From inside she could hear Antonio moving around.
***
Ten days had never seemed so much like ten minutes to Victoria. For the rest of the voyage she spent every possible moment with Antonio. Her days and nights ran into one. Time seemed to stand still. They made love desperately and passionately, both refusing to accept that once the ship docked, they’d have to go on with their own separate lives.
***
It went down in history as a “Day of Infamy.” December 7th, a mere two days after Antonio and Victoria’s arrival in Hawaii, Pearl Harbour was bombed. Suddenly Europe’s war became America’s war as well. From that day on, everything in the USA would change.
***
Victoria’s first night back at home was a bitter one. Upon arriving at the pier, she was greeted by her family, Anna, and Mark. She was able to feign happiness until she saw her fiancée. At that moment, the disparity of her betrayal had overwhelmed her. He looked so unsuspecting, so genuinely happy to see her. “Would he be happy to see me if he knew what I’ve done?” she asked herself.
Victoria walked out of Anna’s house, got into her car and sped off towards Mark’s apartment, which he had finally convinced his family that he needed. She parked her car on the curb and hurried inside, wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible. “After all, what was the worst the could happen?” Victoria speculated. “He’ll break off the engagement and be mad at me for a while, then we’ll be friends again. I never really wanted to be engaged to him anyway. Did I?”
***
Victoria returned home and raced up to her room in a mad attempt to avoid her mother. She’d break the news to her later, but first she needed to be alone, to be able to clear her mind and get her emotions together. She crept past her mother’s bedroom, praying that she would be able to get to her room without being detected, but to no avail.
***
Walking out of her house a week later, Victoria saw Anna sitting under a large tree, reading. Instinctively, she called out “Anna! Hello!” before realizing that all was not as it had been. Anna glanced up, then closed her book and motioned for Victoria to come and join her.
***
No time in Victoria’s live had ever been as painful for her as the days and weeks following Mark’s enlistment. Through her mother’s friendship with Mark’s mother, she managed to keep herself reasonably aware of his whereabouts. Whenever her mother would come home from a visit with Lucille Bennett, she would instantly press her for information, secretly praying that he was safe. Victoria’s life began to revolve around these updates. Slowly but surely, she retreated from her usual day-to-day life and into the tormenting world of her guilt. Questions and doubts constantly followed her. “What if he was killed in action?” “What would become of his family?” and mostly, “How can I go on without his friendship?”
***
One winter day in late 1944, a tall soldier, clad in formal uniform and walking with a cane and a slight limp arrived on the doorstep of the Kildare residence. When the butler answered the door, he asked after Victoria and was promptly informed that she had gone out, but was expected to return within the hour. He replied that he’d wait and was shown into the front sitting room.
***
“Just because he’s missing, doesn’t mean he’s dead,” said Margaret soothingly as Victoria cried on her shoulder.
***
Victoria’s return, although maybe not as grand as her mother may have envisioned, was nonetheless a fair success. After speaking to a few director and producer friends, she was able to get herself an audition for “King Lear,” and before she knew it, she was cast as Cordelia, Lear’s youngest daughter.
Rehearsals and performances were plenty to keep Victoria busy, and she threw herself into them with all that she had, determined to take her mother’s advice and make the best of her life. After a while, things did begin to return to something like normal life. Although she never stopped missing Mark, and sometimes still had to force herself to get out and live life, day by day it became easier. The war ended, and slowly the soldiers returned home, trying to pick up what remained of their former lives. Every morning, Victoria watched out of her window, hoping to catch a glimpse of Mark’s return. Although her relationship with Anna and Mark’s parents had become less frosty, Victoria still could not bring herself to visit next door and ask for news. Instead, she kept her daily vigil, hoping and praying that one day he would return.
One night, after what Victoria believed to be a particularly good performance, she and the rest of the cast were on stage for the curtain calls when, by some mistake by the lighting director, the stage lights went off and the house lights went up. This came as a surprise to her, since it is rare that an actor is afforded a view of the audience. Glancing around, hoping to catch the reactions of some of the audience members, she noticed, at the back of a theatre, a tall, blonde man making his way to the door.
“Mark!” thought Victoria, then shaking herself back to reality she reminded herself that there were plenty of tall, blonde men in southern California. Nonetheless, she felt her eyes drawn to him as he made his exit. Everything about him just seemed so familiar. But again Victoria’s sensible side reminded her that, even if Mark was back in the USA, he would have no reason to come to one of her shows. Unless, of course, he was still in love with her.
***
Victoria wandered out the door and towards the beach. Memories of Mark flooded back to her. The morning she told him that she would marry him, their first kiss, the many moonlight walks that they’d taken. The beach came into sight, and with it, the shadowy figure of a man seated on the edge of a sandbank. Victoria’s heart raced and she began to tremble as she drew closer and realized that it really was Mark. Hearing her soft footsteps behind him, Mark turned around. Victoria felt her heart soar and struggled to contain herself. She smiled, hoping he would at least seem happy to see her, and was sorely disappointed when his face remained expressionless.
THE END
Disclaimer - this is my first, and hopefully last attempt at writing a smut novel. See, way back in grade 11, my friend Eryn was having her birthday, and I didn't have enough money to buy her a present. So, instead, knowing her love of smut, I decided to write her a novel of that genre. Almost two years to the day that I made that promise, I finally finished it. In that time, I've completely lost touch with Eryn, graduated high school, and spent six months in Australia. Generally, if it takes an author ages to write a book, it turns out to be a masterpiece (think Victor Hugo's Les Miserables, for one)... but this is definitely an exception to the rule. I'm not a romantic person by any stretch of the imagination, so most of the sentiment here has been "borrowed" from plays, books, and movies. Hopefully I won't get sued... but I think a book actually has to make its author some money for copyright infringement to be worth suing over. Anyway, if you have gotten through all this and still want to read my smouldering turd of a smut novel, don't say I didn't warn you. Oh, and Eryn, if you ever read this... Happy Belated Birthday!!
“Ohhh my god, yes, yes. Oh god, you’re so good!” She cried as his strong, muscular arms gently encircled her. She felt his manhood rise against her as she slowly opened her legs to his charms. She knew it was wrong, but her whole body seemed to gravitate to him as they melted into each other.
“Victoria, hurry up!” said Melissa as she quickly walked out the door of their large, spacious dormitory room at Lady Mountbatten’s Finishing School.
“I’m coming, I’m coming,” she replied as she checked herself out in the mirror one final time.
Unbeknownst to herself, Victoria Kildare was strikingly beautiful. At age 18, she was charming and graceful, but with an air or innocence that was easily perceived by anyone who met her. Her long auburn hair shone like the morning sun and her green eyes flashed a radiance and lust for life that only added to her charms.
Entering the auditorium, Victoria and Melissa saw that most of their graduating class was already there, milling about and chattering excitedly. The two girls grabbed their caps and gowns and joined the crowd.
“Can you believe we’re finally graduating?” asked Victoria. “It seems like it was just yesterday when I began here!”
“I know what you mean,” replied Melissa. “But have you decided what you’re going to do in the future yet? I have mine all planned out, but what about yours?”
“Well, I’m not smart and dedicated like you are, so obviously university is out of the question. My parents want me to get married, but I don’t know to whom. I suppose I’ll just sit about home, bored and lonely, until my parents set me up with some wealthy young man who best suits their interests.”
“That sounds pretty hopeless,” said Melissa with a laugh.
“Do you know any rich, handsome young men who would be interested into marrying into my insane family?” replied Victoria, equally jovial.
They both giggled, but then Melissa suddenly said, “On a completely unrelated topic, I have to mention that you get to meet my step-brother today! Remember me telling you about him? Well, he just got back from another one of his trips to heaven only knows where, and he’s coming today. I’m sure he’ll have some wild stories to tell!”
Before they could continue on with their conversation, Mrs. Morganstern, their headmistress, stood before them and began to speak in a loud voice.
“Ladies, today is the day. The first day of the rest of your lives. After this ceremony, you are no longer young students, but mature adults. Your futures are all ahead of you. Some of you will go on to bigger and better things, some will be content for simpler lives. Whatever you choose, though, I will be proud of you. You are all ladies now, ladies of refinement and class. As long as you never forget the morals and lessons learned here, you will all succeed in all that you do.”
And with that, the graduation song began to play, and the young ladies of the finishing school walked in through the auditorium, towards a future unknown to them.
Standing on the podium in front of a sea of faces, Victoria scanned the crowd for people she knew. She easily picked out her mother and father, both expensively dressed and looking undeniably classy. Her mother, in an elegantly tailored Dior suit looked like a reigning queen as she sat. Her father, always the gentleman, had his pipe in his hand as he adoringly watched his only daughter. She smiled at them and her father gave her a small smile in return.
Scanning the crowd further, looking for her grandparents, she suddenly noticed a roguishly handsome young man staring at her. Immediately self conscious, she looked down to see if she had spilt anything on her gown, or if she had somehow missed a button. Realizing that everything was in order, she looked up to find him still staring at her. Their eyes locked from across the room, and she suddenly felt an odd shiver run down her spine. She could feel a blush rising in her cheeks, and she diverted her eyes.
Following the ceremony, the hugs from relatives, and the mandatory congratulations, Melissa brought Victoria over to meet her step-brother. “He’ll be right over, he just went to get a glass of punch,” said Melissa.
From across the room, Victoria again noticed the handsome man who had been staring at her. Since he was looking in the opposite direction, Victoria looked him over carefully. He was tall and very muscular, and looked like he had spent a lot of time outside in the sun. He had jet black hair, and incredible dark brown eyes. When he looked at her, she felt that she could get lost in their dark, soulful depths.
He glanced up and noticed her, then looked at Melissa and began to walk in their direction. He smiled, and Victoria felt her heart take flight.
Melissa looked from him to Victoria, smiled and then said, “Victoria, I would like you to meet my step-brother, Antonio Rodriguez.”
“Your step-brother?” she exclaimed in shock. Then, recovering her composure she said to him, “Nice to meet you, Mr. Rodriguez.”
With the same charming smile, he replied, “It is nice to meet you, too, Miss…”
“Kildare. Victoria Kildare.”
“Well, nice to meet you, Miss Kildare,” he said. And with that, he kissed her hand. Victoria’s knees felt weak as her bright green eyes met his roguishly soulful brown ones.
“I think the ball will be beginning soon,” said Melissa, interrupting the silence. “We’d better go get ready, Victoria.”
Victoria slowly tore her gaze from Antonio’s, pulling herself from the vast depth of his eyes. “What, what was that?” she asked, feeling the colour again rise in her cheeks.
“I said we should be getting ready for the ball soon, Tori. Where have you been?”
“You’re right, we should go,” replied Victoria.
“Then I’ll be seeing you at the ball tonight,” said Antonio, with a sweeping gesture of goodbye.
Victoria slowly walked away, pausing in the doorway to glance over her shoulder. Catching Antonio’s eye once more, she felt that strange shiver again run up her spine.
“So I see you and my brother hit it off well,” said Melissa with a laugh.
“What do you mean?” replied Victoria indignantly.
Laughing again, Melissa said, “Oh Tori, you’re so innocent!”
Arriving back at their dormitory room, Victoria and Melissa began to get ready for the ball. Victoria pulled a long emerald green dress out of her closet. Quickly buttoning it, she checked her hair in the mirror, put on some rouge and pulled a string of pearls from her jewelry box. The green of the dress brought out the fiery tones of her hair and made her green eyes glow.
Sitting down on her bed, she broke the silence in the room. “What’s wrong with being innocent?” she asked.
“Excuse me?”
“Well, you told me that I was innocent and made it sound like such a bad thing. But what’s wrong with being innocent?”
“Nothing at all. It’s just funny, that’s all. It just reminds me of when I was that innocent.”
Victoria looked shocked. “When? Are you not still innocent? What are you not telling me, Melissa?”
Melissa looked away, unable to make eye contact with Victoria.
“You haven’t….” Victoria trailed off, giving Melissa an embarrassed glance.
Melissa still refused to meet her gaze.
“Oh my goodness. You’ve…”
“Yes, yes, I have,” replied Melissa, “although I don’t see what the big deal is.”
“Who, when?” inquired Victoria, her virginal curiosity piqued.
“Now you know what I mean when I tease you about being innocent!” she paused, “It was last summer, over break. He was a stable boy, a rough type. Lower class. But was he ever handsome. Dashing….sensual.” Melissa’s expression changed from dreamy to aroused until she suddenly snapped back to reality. “Well, it’s over now. It was just a…a…fling. Nothing serious. Just fun. My one daring experience. It only happened once.”
Victoria stared, a mixture of astonishment and interest on her face. “I can’t believe you did such a thing! You could be scandalized!”
“Yes, I know. I just couldn’t help it, though.”
“How could you not help it? You do control your own actions, Melissa.”
“That’s what you’re taught to believe. Just wait until you fall in love, Tori. Then you’ll know better.”
“What does it feel like?” asked Victoria.
“What?”
“You heard me. What does it feel like? You know, making love. Is it fun?”
“Victoria! Some good girl you are!” taunted Melissa.
Embarrassed, Victoria replied, “Well, I was just wondering…”
“It’s magical. Like nothing you’ll ever feel in life. It’s like all of the beautiful things you’ve ever seen in the world, all combined into one moment of passion. It’s in that one moment that you suddenly realize that nothing else in life matters. Nothing but the here and the now. That one moment, and that one man that you’re with.”
Melissa was interrupted by an abrupt knock on the door. “Come in,” she said, trying to put her expression back to normal.
The door opened and Victoria’s parents burst into the room.
“Congratulations, sweetie,” crooned her mom, kissing her on both cheeks.
“Thanks mom,” she replied. “Do you like my dress?”
“Stunning, darling. Simply stunning. But we must be going now, your father and I both have some pressing engagements. We’ll send Jenkins by tomorrow with the car for you and your things.”
Victoria looked crestfallen, her hopes of a nice celebration dinner with her parents dashed. “Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow, then. Goodbye mom, goodbye dad.”
“Farewell, darling,” they replied as they exited.
Waving to friends and acquaintances, Victoria made her way to a group of her friends standing in a back corner. Suddenly she felt a warm hand touch her gently on the shoulder. She turned around to see Antonio, looking even handsomer than before, standing behind her.
Offering his hand, he asked, “May I have this dance?”
“Certainly,” replied Victoria.
He led her out to the dance floor as the music changed to a slow, romantic waltz. “I’m not much of a dancer,” admitted Victoria shyly.
They began to dance, floating around the room beautifully in time with the music.
“You waltz beautifully, Miss Kildare,” said Antonio.
Victoria blushed. “It helps to have a good partner, I suppose. And please, call me Victoria. I feel like an old spinster when anyone refers to me as Miss Kildare.”
“Victoria it is, then. Quite a lovely name.”
The music ended and Victoria reluctantly moved away from Antonio. The feeling of his hand on her waist lingered, burning through the silk of her dress. He too seemed unwilling to part so soon.
“Victoria?” he asked, “Would I be presumptuous to ask if you would like to go for a walk around the grounds here? This is the first time I’ve ever visited this lovely school, and I would love for you to show me around it.”
“I’d like that very much,” she responded.
They walked out through the French doors at the back of the ball room and into a small rose garden. The air was permeated with the sweet fragrance of roses and the light from the ballroom cast haunting shadows throughout the garden. Looking up, Victoria saw that the moon and the stars were out in full brilliance.
She suddenly became aware of the silence that had come between her and Antonio. Victoria suddenly felt embarrassed and searched her mind for something intelligent to say.
Realizing her discomfort, Antonio broke in. “Now that you have graduated, what is it that you plan to do?” he asked.
“Honestly,” she replied, “I’m not sure. I don’t know what it is that I could do. I don’t really have a dream or a goal for my life. I haven’t really thought ahead. Besides, there’s not that much for a girl like me to do.”
He nodded and the uncomfortable silence again fell between them. “Why am I lost for words?” thought Victoria, “I’m never lost for words. What is wrong with me?”
Again Antonio interrupted the hush. “I’m sure that there’s plenty that you can do. It’s 1938, we’re in the midst of a great new time. There’s so much that you can do. And I’m sure, Victoria Kildare, that you’re able to do a lot more than you think.”
“So what is it that you do in life, Mr. Rodriguez?”
“Antonio, please. If you chose not to use the formality, so do I,” He replied. “Most recently, I have been abroad. Upon my father’s death, I was awarded a large inheritance and, when my mother re-married, I left to see the world. I’d always wanted to travel, and that seemed the appropriate time. I have only come back for Melissa’s graduation ceremony, I leave in three days for Madrid.”
Upon hearing his last remark, Victoria’s face unwittingly fell.
“Will you miss me when I go?” asked Antonio.
Victoria blushed. “How would I miss you? I’ve only just met you.”
“Then you do not believe in love at first sight?”
Victoria looked up, deeply into his eyes and felt something she had never felt before. A desire, an overwhelming passion to be with this man. To know him, to love him, to be one with him. She felt her heart racing as he wrapped his arms around her and drew her close.
“So you do believe,” he whispered as their lips met.
As the kiss deepened, Victoria felt chills and sensations entirely unfamiliar to her. None of the boys she had known in the past had kissed her like this. None of the boys she had flirted with at dances or been introduced to at polo matches had caused her head to spin as it was doing now. The world became a blur to her; nothing mattered except her and Antonio there at that moment.
Victoria was startled back to reality by the sound of someone calling her name. She broke away from him and looked around to find Melissa standing there watching them.
“We were just…umm….we were just…” stammered Victoria.
“Yes, I know what you were doing,” said Melissa with a laugh. “No need to explain. But I would like a word with you, Tori. Sorry Antonio.”
Melissa walked away and, with one last gaze at Antonio, Victoria reluctantly followed her.
“So I see you like my step brother?” said Melissa, an unreadable look on her face.
Victoria blushed. “I barely know him. I don’t know why I kissed him. It was as if…as if I couldn’t control myself. Like some foreign power was pushing me towards him and I couldn’t resist it.”
Melissa frowned. “That’s Antonio for you,” she said. “Devilishly charming. He has a way of making women unable to resist him.”
“So there have been many others in the past for him?” asked Victoria, hoping for a negative response.
“Well, you can put it that way if you want to put it nicely. Antonio is my brother and I love him dearly, but he has a way of leading women on; of making them believe that they’re more to him than they really are. I guess I sort of question his morals when it comes to love.”
“So what are you saying?”
“I guess the point that I’m trying to make to you is to be careful around him, Victoria. Watch out. Knowing him, he’ll make you fall in love with him and then break your heart when he finds someone else more interesting.”
“Melissa, I’m not that innocent. I know how to handle myself around men. I would never get involved with your brother unless I knew that he truly did love me,” said Victoria indignantly.
“I just hope you know what you’re in for.”
“I’ll be fine, don’t worry. Now I’m going to go inside, it’s getting cool out here,” said Victoria.
As she walked back towards the ballroom, Victoria paused for a moment in the rose garden, remembering the feeling of Antonio’s lips on hers. Dreamily, she looked around, hoping that he would emerge from the shadows. The thought of her and Antonio together forever crossed her mind and she smiled. Then, breaking her flight of fancy, came Melissa’s warning.
“But why would he act as he did around me if he didn’t at least like me?” she thought. “Why would he want to use me? What could I have that he would want?”
Then, pushing those unpleasant thoughts out of her mind, she returned to the ballroom, faintly hoping that Antonio would be there waiting for her.
“You’re being crazy, just crazy,” he muttered to himself.
He’d been with many girls in the past. Ones prettier and more intelligent than Victoria. Ones who had seen the world, ones who had enough experience to last a lifetime. He had never before given any woman a second thought, only regarded them as possessions to be used at his convenience. Yet for some reason, he could not get Victoria Kildare off of his mind. There was something about her big green eyes, her endearing smile, and her utter innocence that drew him to her. He wanted to know her, to love her, and to never leave her. It was strange, the overpowering feeling that came over him every time she entered his thoughts.
He felt as if he was going crazy, his common sense and his heart going in two different directions. His passage to Europe was booked and nothing was stopping him from returning to the life that he had created for himself there. He enjoyed that life and didn’t want to leave it. But he also didn’t want to leave Victoria.
Finally, tired of the thoughts that were flying through his head, he turned around and drove home, ready to drown his confusion in the scotch decanter.
Looking out of the window, she noticed her father’s car pulling up. Jenkins, looking as distinguished as ever, stepped out of the driver’s seat and strode toward the front door. Victoria opened the window and called to him.
“Jenkins! Up here!” she cried as she waved out the window.
“Good day, Miss Victoria,” he called back with a smile.
Within minutes, Victoria and her belongings were packed away in the car, driving off towards their family estate in southern California. As they drove along the shoreline, Victoria’s thoughts were consumed by those of Antonio. She found it strange that she knew so little about him but was unable to get him off of her mind. Again Melissa’s warning ran through her head. Realistically, she knew that she’d probably never see him again and that to dream of anything else would be useless.
Sighing, Victoria looked out of the window and realized that they were almost home. The wide, tree lined boulevards of her neighbourhood were exactly the same as they had been when as when she had last left them. She felt suddenly happy to be returning home, for good, after such a long time away.
They pulled up in the driveway and Victoria raced out of the car and into the house, hoping that her parents would be waiting there to greet her. She ran across the grassy lawn, up the marble steps and into the grand hallway. Finding it empty, she hurried down the hall towards her father’s library. The familiar smell of cigar smoke wafted out of the ajar door as Victoria flung it open. Before her eyes was a familiar scene; her father seated behind his desk with a cigar and the latest copy of the Wall Street Journal in his hands. At the sound of the door opening he looked over the edge of his paper.
“Victoria!” he exclaimed as he rose to greet her. “You’re early, I didn’t expect to see you home for another hour.” He hugged her. “Not that it matters, it’s so good that you’re home. Have you seen your mother yet?”
“No, not yet,” she replied, unwilling to leave her father’s side. Since she had been a child, her father had always been close to her. Her socialite mother had always been gracious, but had sometimes seemed to be too busy with various social engagements to make time for her daughter. Her father, in contrast, had always been there, warm, comforting, and smelling of cigars, ready to do anything from teaching her how to ride a bicycle to congratulating her on a good effort in school. She loved and respected her mother, but she idolized her father.
And so they went out of his office arm in arm to the parlour to greet Victoria’s mother.
Margaret Kildare was an imposing figure to all that knew her. In contrast to her husband’s easygoing demeanor and kindly countenance, Margaret radiated power and assertiveness to everyone she met. Victoria’s striking looks came from her mother, tall and willowy with fire red hair, but somehow Victoria wore those looks with the image of sweetness and gentility.
When they reached the parlour, Victoria found her mother engrossed in a meeting with Beatrice Linden, the co-chair of the ladies’ society club. Upon hearing her entry, Margaret looked up and a smile came over her face. She got up and, arms outstretched, went to greet her daughter.
“Victoria, darling, how are you?” she cooed as she embraced her daughter. “We weren’t expecting you so early, I so wanted to be ready to greet you properly when you arrived home! Victoria, you remember Mrs. Beatrice Linden, do you not?”
“Of course,” replied Victoria. “It’s a pleasure to see you again, Mrs. Linden.”
Mrs. Linden rose, a heavyset lady covered in furs and diamonds. “Victoria, dear, you look so lovely and so grown up. It’s a pleasure to have you back at home again. Margaret, I’ll leave you to your family. We can discuss the last details of the charity ball later. Goodbye.”
With that, Victoria’s mother took her arm and led her out to the garden. “We’ll have lunch now and we can get caught up on everything.” Gesturing to her husband, she added, “Archibald, aren’t you going to join us?”
He replied, “I think I’ll leave you two ladies to talk alone together. Victoria, how about we go out for a walk later?”
“I’d love that, father,” replied Victoria.
The two ladies walked out to the garden and sat down for lunch.
“Darling, I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there to greet you when you arrived back home. I honestly didn’t expect you until much later. The business of the charity ball just seems to never end,” said Margaret.
“It’s really okay, mother,” said Victoria.
“Anyway, though, I must get on with more important things. Such as the party that Emily Carlson and I are throwing for you and Melissa here tonight. Just a small gathering to celebrate your graduations. Mrs. Carlson said that she is going to bring her son along, he came back to visit for Melissa’s graduation. Apparently, he’s very charming. Have you met him yet?”
Victoria felt the colour begin to rise in her cheeks. “Yes, just briefly,” she said quietly, hoping her mother wouldn’t notice her blush.
Her mother didn’t notice and continued on, “You know, it’s so nice that Melissa and her stepbrother get along so well. When Melissa’s mother died, she was so alone. It’s lovely that her father has now re-married and she has a new mother as nice as Emily.”
Margaret continued on about various themes of gossip as Victoria slowly faded from the conversation. She couldn’t believe that Antonio would be at her house in only a matter of hours. She had expected to never see him again, then to find out she would see him so soon again was astonishing. It crossed her mind if he would even want to see her again. Their meeting in the rose garden couldn’t have meant that much to him, Victoria was sure of it. How would they react? Questions began to race through her mind as she felt anxiety creep into her.
Suddenly, her mother snapped her back to reality. “Victoria, darling, are you even listening to me?” she asked.
“Of course mother,” lied Victoria.
“So what do you plan to wear to tonight’s celebration?”
“What would you like me to wear, mother?”
“Your new black dress would be lovely, dear.”
Approaching her friend, Victoria greeted her warmly then posed the question, “Did you know anything about this?”
“Not a thing,” replied Melissa. “My mother sprung this on me last night when I arrived home.”
“Likewise, only my mom chose to tell me over lunch.”
“Oh, by the way,” said Melissa slyly, “Antonio will be here in a few minutes.”
With forced nonchalance, Victoria replied, “And that would be my business because…?”
“Oh, admit it, Victoria, you like him.”
“And what makes you say that?”
“You two sure seemed cozy enough last night.”
“I just kissed him,” exclaimed Victoria. “It’s not a big deal – just a kiss…”
“Yes, I believe you,” said Melissa with a sarcastic laugh.
The doorbell rang and Victoria turned to the door, ready to greet the arriving guest. The door was opened and Victoria found herself once again staring into the dark eyes of Antonio. He smiled at her, then turned to greet her parents.
Victoria hurried to her parents’ side, hoping that the introduction would go smoothly.
“Victoria, this is Antonio Rodriguez, Mrs. Carlson’s son. Now, darling, you said you’ve met before?” said Margaret.
“Yes, Mrs. Kildare, only briefly at last night’s ball. I had the pleasure of sharing a waltz with your charming daughter,” said Antonio, graciously. Then, taking Victoria’s hand, he gently kissed it and smiled at her again.
“Would you like to show Mr. Rodriguez around the gardens, Victoria?” asked Margaret, suggestively.
“That would be nice, Victoria,” said Antonio with an equally suggestive tone in his voice. “Victoria showed me around the gardens of the school last night and proved to be an excellent tour guide.”
Victoria blushed deeply, then nodded to Antonio. “Yes, if you wish.”
Antonio offered her his arm and they walked off together to the gazebo in the far corner of the garden. The night was dark and cloudy with only the moon faintly visible through the mist. Music began to drift faintly from the house, a slow romantic ballad. The surf crashed onto the shore below.
They walked in silence as if two complete strangers. Victoria searched for words but came up at a loss. What could she say to the handsome, dashing man beside her? Everything about him was exciting, fascinating, and so different from everything she had ever known. It was if he had some captivating power the only she could feel the effects of.
When they reached the gazebo, Antonio suddenly pulled her close to him. The music had changed from the ballad to a tango; the sultry dance of passion. They slowly began to move in synch to the music. Theirs wasn’t a perfect tango, but it had all the passion of one. Their bodies grew closer and closer until there was nothing left of the dance but the music pulsating in the background. Their lips met, slowly at first but then deepening. His arms went around her waist and he pressed her up against him as if to mould their two bodies into one.
Momentarily, he pulled away to lead her to the bench at the side of the gazebo. Entwined in each others arms, Victoria gazed into his eyes. “What are we doing?” she asked breathlessly. “Why are we doing this?”
“I don’t know why,” he whispered. “All I know is that here and now, this is the only thing that feels right.”
Again he kissed her, a passionate, hungry kiss that seemed to ask and crave for more. Victoria felt sensations she had never felt before, chills and heat all at the same time. Never before had she felt so exhilarated. She leaned back as his lips slowly made their way down her neck, planting gentle kisses as he went. He began to unbutton the back of her dress when Victoria suddenly realized what she was about to do. Frightened, she pulled away.
Antonio looked at her, surprise and confusion written on his face. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“N-nothing,” she stammered, embarrassed and unsure of how to explain herself. “I’m just scared.” She looked away. “I’ve never done anything like this before.”
There was a pause and silence between them. Then, he slowly replied, “I understand.”
“I don’t want to know what you must think of me now,” said Victoria, her embarrassment even greater. “I don’t know what’s come over me. I’m sure that you’ve known many girls in the past; ones who are smarter than me, more experienced, and ones who know what they want to do a whole lot more than I do. I’m so sorry, you’re welcome to leave if you want to. Please don’t feel compelled to stay. I really don’t know why you’d want to, anyway.”
With that Victoria straightened her clothes and got up, prepared to leave. Antonio quickly grasped her hand and gently guided her back to the bench. “Please don’t go,” he said. “I don’t want to leave and I definitely don’t want you to leave. Victoria, please. I won’t do anything that you don’t want to do, I promise you.”
“Why are you being so nice to me? So kind, so forgiving? Melissa told me that you could have any woman that you want. So why are you here, with a highly inexperienced, naïve 18 year old. What do you want from me?”
“I wish I knew that, Victoria. I really wish I did. All I know is that I want to be with you, want to be near you. It seems crazy, but it’s the truth.”
“We hardly know each other. This is crazy!” she exclaimed.
“I know it is. I know.” He said, and gently kissed her.
She and Antonio had planned to meet later in the day and Victoria couldn’t help but check the clock constantly, willing time to go by faster until the moment that Antonio would arrive. As he had told her before he had left the previous evening, he was leaving for Europe the day after tomorrow, and they should make the best of their time together since it wouldn’t last for much longer.
Around noon, Victoria dressed in one of her favourite casual dresses and prepared herself for Antonio’s arrival. They had planned to attend an afternoon matinee performance and then go to dinner.
Antonio’s car arrived in the driveway and Victoria left, calling a quick goodbye to anyone who may have been in the house at the time. Antonio’s car gleamed in the sunlight, and sitting behind the wheel, he looked as dashing and roguish as he ever had before. Victoria’s heart skipped a beat when he smiled at her.
Very little was said as they drove into the city. Both Victoria and Antonio were content just to be near each other. Every so often, Antonio would take his eyes off of the road for a split second, just to catch a glimpse of Victoria. Her red hair glistened in the mid-afternoon sunlight and her pale skin shone with a rosy glow. He so wanted just to reach out and touch her, to pull over the car and to make her his. But then he reminded himself that he would soon be leaving her, that he would undoubtedly never see her again. “Why get so involved with someone I’ll never see again?” he thought. “I couldn’t do that to her. She’s so sweet, so innocent, I couldn’t ruin that just for my own selfish hopes.” All this he hid from her, though, hoping that she’d make it easy on him when he did leave. If she could be nonchalant at their parting, he could be too.
As they arrived at the theatre, Antonio tore his thoughts away from such unpleasant things. He helped Victoria out of the car and, hand in hand, they entered the majestic theatre.
The evening flew by so quickly that before long both Victoria and Antonio found themselves sipping champagne at a deserted restaurant overlooking the ocean. The sun set in a blaze of fiery reds and oranges, casting a pale glow over the ocean. A wistful tune floated through the air, played by a sole pianist in the corner.
Victoria gazed out to the ocean, watching the silhouettes of birds rise and fall against the sky.
“What are you thinking of?” asked Antonio.
Victoria, lost for words, said the only thing that she could think of - the truth. “I was thinking about the future. About where it leaves us. You’ll be leaving soon and I’m not entirely sure that I want you to do that.”
“I’m not too sure about anything anymore. Ever since I’ve met you, nothing has made a whole lot of sense. Fate seems to have taken a hand.”
Victoria stared out at the ocean and said lightly, “Nothing makes sense, but somehow I trust it.”
“Victoria, look at me,” said Antonio suddenly. She did and looked deeply into his eyes.
“Yes?” she replied, her heart pounding nervously.
“Come away with me.”
“What?”
“Come back to Europe with me.”
Victoria was at an entire loss for words. Unsure what to say, she turned away, hoping to hide her embarrassment.
Antonio reached across the table and took her hand in his. “Please, Victoria. I don’t want to leave you.”
Turning back to him, Victoria knew what she had to do. Suddenly, her life made sense and she knew what the future had in store for her. “Yes,” she said. “I’ll come away with you.”
Victoria fidgeted nervously with her purse and stood up on a bench in the hopes of a clearer view. Craning her neck, she felt a tug on the hem of her skirt. She looked down and saw a small Mexican boy staring up at her. In his hand he clenched a small, white envelope. “Yes?” asked Victoria of the boy. He said nothing but held the envelope out to her. “Thank you,” she said hurriedly, ripping the envelope open.
The paper was obviously expensive and the handwriting was dark and bold. A sinking feeling arose in Victoria’s chest as she read the opening lines.
“My dear Victoria,” it began. “As I sit here, I can hardly imagine words to put on paper. Please believe me when I say that what I’m about to do is the hardest thing I will ever have to do, but I know it’s for the best. By now, the ship is about to set out to sea, just as planned. Only, what hasn’t been planned is that you are not here with me.
“I am going back to Europe. And, for all I can hope, you will go back to your life as it was before you met me. I will not explain my reasons for doing this but I assure you that it is best for both of us if it ends this way.
“All the best to you, Victoria. I will never forget you, but I hope that you will soon forget me. Antonio”
Victoria crumpled the letter in her hand and flung it to the ground. Tears welled up in her eyes but she fought them back.
“I will not let him get to me. Not after this. He wants me to get on with my life and I damn well will. I don’t need him.”
With one last look to the ship slowly fading on the horizon, Victoria squared her shoulders and walked away, hoping that she could sneak back into her house and her momentary foolishness would remain unknown.
Quickly throwing her suitcase into a shrub, Victoria put on her nicest fake smile and waved to her mother.
“Oh, Victoria, I’m so glad you’re home. Where did you go, darling?” asked Margaret.
Opening her mouth to reply, Margaret cut her off. “Oh, no matter. You remember Mrs. Bennett, of course.”
“Nice to see you again, Mrs. Bennett,” said Victoria robotically.
“And, of course, Mark.”
Shocked, Victoria quickly smiled in Mark’s direction. She couldn’t believe that the handsome, well dressed man in front of her was the Mark Bennett that she had known all of her life.
“Mark, Victoria, I know you two haven’t seen each other in years. Victoria has been away at school, and Mark has spent the past few years in New York on business,” said Mrs. Bennett, beaming with pride for her son.
“What sort of business are you in, Mark?” asked Margaret.
Mark replied, “Theatre, actually. I’m a producer. I’m back in town for business, too. We’re trying to expand one of our shows to Los Angeles.”
“Then we’ll definitely have to come see it when it premieres, won’t we Victoria,” remarked Margaret.
“Yes, of course,” mumbled Victoria, not entirely sure what she was saying yes to.
“Right now we’re actually having some trouble finding a starring actress. No one here seems to be just right. But I’m sure it will all work out in the end.”
“Undoubtedly,” agreed Margaret. “Mark, would you and Victoria be interested in going riding later this afternoon? I could have the horses ready for you. It could be a nice way for the two of you to get caught up.”
“Mother, I’m sure that Mark has much more pressing concerns than going riding with one of his little sister’s childhood friends.”
“No, not at all,” said Mark with a smile. “I’d be delighted; that is, if Victoria wants to go.”
“Of course she does,” cooed Margaret. Then, to Mrs. Bennett, she added, “Lucille, they may make a match of it yet!”
Embarrassed, Victoria exclaimed, “Mother!”
“Just joking, sweetie. Well, we must be going – hopefully I’ll see you this afternoon, Mark.”
“Most definitely,” he replied. “Victoria, Mrs. Kildare, it was a pleasure to see you both again.”
As they entered the house, Margaret casually remarked, “How nice Mark Bennett is looking. He’s really grown up since we last saw him.”
Sarcastically, Victoria replied, “I sure hope he’d have grown up some in five years. Last time we saw him, he was seventeen.”
“Oh yes, now I remember. He went off to New York for university the same time his sister went away to Switzerland for boarding school. I remember Lucille was quite relieved to have both of her children taken care of. And then Mark goes and becomes a success. How wonderful for her and Nicholas! Now if only they could get Mark married off.”
“Are you hinting something, mother?”
“Not at all, darling. What happened to Melissa’s older brother…what was his name? Anthony?”
“Antonio.”
“Right, Antonio. What happened to him? You two seemed to get along quite well at the party.”
Victoria felt a lump rise in her throat and she forced it down. “I wouldn’t know what became of him.”
“What a shame. You did seem to get along very well.”
Annoyed, Victoria lashed out at her mother. “Mother, is it your only goal in life to get me married off? I’m only eighteen, I have plenty of time in my life to get married. Can’t you concern yourself with something else?”
“Tori, what’s wrong with you today?” asked Margaret with genuine concern. “I’m just worried about you, that’s all. You have no direction in your life, no plans for the future. I just want to see you happy.”
“Fine, mother. I’m sorry I got angry. When Mark comes, please let me know. I’ll be in my room.”
With that, Victoria mounted the stairs with as much grace as she could muster. Once in the sanctity of her room, she lay down on her bed and sobbed.
The two walked together in uncomfortable silence, neither sure what to say. Victoria had always been close with Mark’s younger sister, Anna, who was nearer to her age. Growing up, Mark had been the one who had tormented them; who had destroyed their sand castles and interrupted their picnics. She found it hard to believe that the handsome, gentlemanly man beside her was the same Mark Bennett.
Searching for conversation, Victoria finally decided that Mark’s business would be safe.
“Mark,” she said softly, “So you’re a big Broadway producer now, right? How do you enjoy that?”
“Very much. It’s challenging and exciting, but also very rewarding. Are you interested in theatre?”
“Honestly, I don’t know enough about theatre to say if I am or not. I’ve been to a few plays with my mother and I was in the school play this year. I enjoyed those a lot. So I guess I am interested in theatre. Which play are you producing here?”
“Romeo and Juliet. You think it would be simple, but we are having difficulty casting a Juliet. All the girls who have auditioned just aren’t right. None of them have the right innocence to play the role as it should be performed.”
“That’s a shame,” said Victoria sympathetically.
“But, I’m sure that you don’t care to hear about my work. I don’t really feel like talking about it, either. It will be quick to ruin our afternoon.”
“Agreed.”
“So, what play did you act in when you were in school?” asked Mark.
“Surprisingly enough, Romeo and Juliet.”
“Really? Strange coincidence. Which part?”
“Juliet.”
Mark’s expression turned quickly to one of surprise and he turned to look Victoria straight in the eye. He looked her up and down and studied her face. Victoria felt uncomfortable under this scrutiny.
“Could work…” said Mark under his breath.
“Pardon? Mark, what are you doing? Why are you looking at me like that? You can’t possibly be thinking –“
He cut her off, “Do you still remember the part?” Victoria nodded. “Can you do a monologue for me? How about the one near the end – where Juliet finds about Tibalt’s death?”
“Mark, if you’re doing what I think you’re doing, I think that you are crazy! I can’t act, I just happened to get the part out of luck. I’m not professional, I’ve been in one play…”
Again he cut her off. “Please, just do it, Victoria. Just once?”
“Fine, I’ll do it. Just so you can get that crazed look out of your eyes,” she said with a small smile.
“Thank you.”
And with that, Victoria stood up on a rock and began to recite. When she finished, she looked down at Mark. “I told you I can’t act. I mean, it was a high school play. I’m not cut out for the big time. I’ve never even thought about it. Mark? Mark?”
Mark stared at her in captivated silence.
“Mark? Stop looking at me like that! I couldn’t have been bad enough to put you into a coma. Mark?”
“Sorry,” he said, snapping out of his stupor. Then, standing up, he put his hands on Victoria’s shoulders. “You were phenomenal. I want you!”
Victoria stepped back. “You want me?”
Mark laughed. “I want you to be my Juliet. You would be perfect.”
“You’re just joking with me, aren’t you Mark?”
“No, I swear. You’d be a star, Victoria. What do you say? Will you do it?”
Hesitatingly, she paused. “I don’t know…”
“Can’t you just picture it now? Opening night, the lights come up, and all the audience is paying attention to is you. When the play is over, the standing ovation would be for you. Can you imagine the glory? The fans, the autographs, the bouquets of flowers sent to your dressing room. Victoria, come on. You don’t want me to have to grovel, do you? Somehow I think I’d be uncomfortable groveling to one of my little sister’s friends.”
For the first time that day, Victoria felt as if some of the weight on her shoulders had lifted, and she laughed. “Maybe I should make you grovel, Mark Bennett. It would be payback for all the times that you ruined me and Anna’s tea parties.”
“Smiling becomes you, Victoria. Makes me realize how much I need you.” And getting down on his knees, Mark proclaimed, “Victoria Kildare, will you do me the great honour of being my Juliet?”
Victoria laughed harder at the absurd sight of Mark kneeling before her. “You look like a fool, Mark.”
“It will all be worth it if you say yes.”
“Well, for all your troubles, I suppose I’ll have to say yes, won’t I? So yes, I’ll play Juliet. But I still maintain that you’re crazy.”
“Thank you, Victoria. You won’t regret this! I’m taking you to meet the director right now.”
With that, Mark grabbed Victoria’s hand and lead her, running, across the lawn towards his car.
Looking out of her second story window, Margaret saw Mark and Victoria’s mad dash. “I wonder what those two crazy kids are doing?” she thought. “They do make a rather nice couple. I wonder if Lucille Bennett would mind me using her son in a little game of matchmaker?”
“Mr. Bennett,” he began, “I hope that it was for a good reason that you called me down to your office. You know that I am still trying to make some sense of our Juliet ordeal.”
“Noel, that is exactly why I called you down here,” he said as he motioned Victoria to come forward, “This is Victoria Kildare. Our Juliet.”
Always the gentleman, Noel came forward and kissed Victoria’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss Kildare.” Then to Mark, he added, “Not to offend Miss Kildare, but why exactly have you chosen her so definitively to play Juliet?”
“Doesn’t she look like a Juliet to you?”
Noel studied Victoria. “Yes, she does have the right look. Much better than those who have already auditioned.”
“Exactly. And she can act!” proclaimed Mark. “Victoria, would you mind doing the monologue that you did for me?”
A sudden feeling of nervous realization swept over Victoria. “This is serious!” she thought. “This could actually happen. What if it does?” Every muscle in her body froze and she sat there, more nervous than she had ever been in her entire life.
Mark stood before her and took her hand. “Victoria, come on,” he said softly. “You can do this. I know you can, and you know you can. So let’s prove to Noel that you’ll be the best damn Juliet that he’s ever seen.”
Victoria looked into his eyes and felt comforted by the absolute sincerity that she saw there. Taking a deep breath, she stood up, looked straight at Noel, and began the monologue. Upon her completion, Noel sat staring at her, an unreadable expression on his face. Fear welled up in Victoria. She became sure that he was searching for the perfect way to tell her that she wasn’t good enough.
“Well, Miss Kildare. What can I say?” said Noel, his face still unreadable. “Mr. Bennett, you were right. We’ve found our Juliet.”
Mark smiled. “Congratulations, Victoria,” he said and shook her hand. Victoria stood there, stunned. “Well, say something. You’ve just become an actress.”
Managing a small smile, Victoria approached Noel. “Mr. Levesque, thank you. And thank you Mark. I promise I won’t be a let down.”
“I know you won’t, Miss Kildare,” said Noel with a warm smile. “Now I’ll let you go. Mr. Bennett here will provide you with all of the information that you will need. Farewell.”
With that, Noel turned and made his exit from the office.
“Ready to go proclaim your success?” asked Mark.
“It’s all just too much,” she said as they walked towards Mark’s car. The depth of that remark went unnoticed by Mark as he respected Victoria’s obvious desire not to have to make conversation. “It’s too much for one day,” Victoria thought. “How have I come so far in one day? Just that morning, I’d been ready to run off to Europe with Antonio. Yet now here I am, about to become an actress. What am I doing?” Somehow the pain of Antonio’s betrayal had already begun to fade.
As they walked, Mark stole the occasional glance at Victoria, still astonished that his little sister’s once wiry, freckled little friend had grown into such a beautiful, mature, talented woman. Allowing his mind to wander for only a split second, he quickly snapped himself back to reality. “I cannot be attracted to her. That is ridiculous. We’ve known each other all of our lives. She’s a friend of my younger sister’s.” Nonetheless, Mark found himself having trouble getting her beautiful face out of his mind.
Victoria quickly crushed that hope, knowing that no matter what, it wouldn’t come true. Her one love affair had taught her that romance was best left to plays and novels.
Looking out her window, she saw the rising sun casting dancing shadows across her front lawn. The light dew in the grass reflected rainbows. No other lights were on anywhere on the street, so Victoria assumed that none of her neighbours would be awake yet. Laughing at what she was about to do, Victoria leaned out her window and began Juliet’s infamous monologue – the balcony scene.
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo called,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all myself.”
Startled, Victoria jumped back in the window and peered around the curtain to see who was there. Standing on the grass below her window was Mark, looking up at her and laughing. “Somehow I think Juliet would have been more graceful,” he called up to her.
Embarrassed, Victoria leaned back out the window. “Be quiet!” she said. “You’ll wake the whole neighbourhood!”
“And you don’t think that you woke them up with your beautiful monologue?” he asked, only slightly more quiet.
“You weren’t supposed to see or hear that! What’s wrong with you anyway? You should be asleep; like most normal people. Why are you wandering the street this early?”
“California moves a lot slower than New York. Back there, the entire city would be moving by now. But dare I credit your new found insomnia to excitement over your impending theatre stardom?”
“Yes, you may. I still can’t believe that this is happening. I’m crazy with excitement – but I feel even crazier talking to you like this. It’s a non Shakespearian, non romantic balcony scene. So I’m going to go now. You enjoy your New York hours street wandering. Farewell!” And with that, she dramatically pulled the window closed and shut the curtain.
Embarrassed, Victoria blushed and looked away. “Please stop this, mother,” she pleaded. “It’s just a job. It’s not that important.”
“Of course it is, sweetheart. And in your honour, I have decided to throw a party. It will be after opening night; to celebrate your, and of course, Mark’s triumph. It will be more than a party, it will be a grand ball. Of the classical style, like my parents had when I was a little girl. It will be the event of the year. Oh, how the eight weeks will fly by!”
“Mother, please don’t!” exclaimed Victoria. “What if it doesn’t go well? What if I make a mistake?”
“Don’t say that, you’ll be the perfect Juliet. The celebration is happening, Victoria. You’ll be the star. Would you like to help me plan it?”
“No thank you.”
“As you wish, dear.”
With that, Margaret bustled off to begin preparations for her grand gala.
Before they knew it, opening night was upon them. As the crew rushed around making last minute adjustments, Victoria sat in her dressing room, overcome with fear. From the start, she had been nervous, but nothing could compare to what she was feeling at that moment. Her hands were trembling and she felt very unsure of everything she had been certain that she knew.
As she fretted, she heard a knock on her door. Searching for her voice, she called a quiet “come in.” The door opened and Mark appeared.
“How’s my star?” he asked.
Faking courage, she replied, “Fine. Perfectly fine.”
Taking one look at her, Mark replied, “You’re not, and I can tell. You’re nervous as hell.”
“So what if I am?”
“Victoria, you have nothing to be nervous over. Don’t worry.”
“That’s easy for you to say! You don’t have to appear in front of a few hundred people, all of whom are expecting perfection. Mark, I’m scared. Terrified. I don’t think I can do this.”
Mark walked across the room, took Victoria’s hands and pulled her up. Standing at almost eye level, he smiled at her. “Alright, I must admit that I’m no good at pep talks. Never have been, never will be. So I’ll just keep this simple. Do you know your part?”
“Yes.”
“Do you know your lines and blocking?”
“Yes.”
“Then you have nothing to worry about.”
“But lines and blocking I can do. What if I’m not good enough? What if I’m not convincing? What if people don’t believe me?”
Mark laughed. “Are you kidding me? People not believe you? You underestimate your talent. When you get on that stage, you are Juliet. I’ve never seen anyone command a stage like you do. When I asked you to take this part, I knew what I was doing. In dress rehearsal, you were phenomenal. And tonight you’ll be no different.”
With that, a voice called out from the hallway. “Two minutes to curtain!”
“Ready to go?” asked Mark, “I should be heading back to my front row seat right about now.”
As he turned to leave, Victoria suddenly exclaimed, “Wait!”
Turning back around, Mark looked at her curiously. “What’s wrong?”
“Will you stay backstage with me? Be my coach? Please?”
“Of course I will be. It will be very unorthodox, the producer being backstage on opening night. Though, for you, my fair Juliet, I will do anything.”
“Then let’s go before I lose my nerve.”
Before she knew it, the curtain fell and opening night was complete. As the cast lined up for their bows, Victoria knew that Mark had been right. There was no greater exhilaration than after a great show. For a moment, Victoria wondered what Antonio would have thought of her performance. Then, reminding herself that Antonio was never coming back for her, she forced the thought from her mind and smiled towards the audience. The applause was thundering as the audience rose to their feet to give an ovation. The deafening roar went on for several minutes before the house lights came up and the curtain fell for good on opening night.
Backstage and away from the eyes of the audience, the cast, jubilant over the success of the performance, cheered almost as wildly as the audience had done. After exchanging hugs and congratulations with her fellow cast members, Victoria searched for Mark. Spotting him on the opposite side of the stage, she ran to him and threw her arms around his neck. “You were right, it was wonderful!” she exclaimed, not releasing her grip.
Embarrassed and caught off guard, Mark gently pushed Victoria away and stepped back. “Well, umm…see, I told you that you could do it. You’re a good actress, Victoria. You have a brilliant future in theatre.”
Moving forward and taking his hands, Victoria looked up into Mark’s eyes. “Have I ever thanked you for this?”
“For what? You’re the one that helped me out. My production would have been lost without you.”
“Yes, but you have no idea how much this meant to me. In so many ways. Joining the cast of this play was almost a salvation to me. And you believed in me every step of the way. You’ve been there for me since the start. I don’t think I would have made it on that stage tonight if it hadn’t been for you. Thank you.”
Unable to find words, Mark found himself caught in Victoria’s gaze. Seized with an uncertainty that was unfamiliar to him, he stood paralyzed.
“Mark, what’s wrong?” asked Victoria. “You couldn’t have supposed me to be so self involved that I am unable of saying a thank you.”
“Of course not. I…I have to go talk to the director. I’ll see you tonight at the party.”
With that, Mark turned and made a hasty exit, leaving Victoria surprised and confused by his unexpected behavior.
Once outside, Mark paced about, angry at himself for his own stupid actions. “What is wrong with me?” he thought. “Get it together! It’s just Victoria.” Yet, in his heart, he knew that she would never be “just Victoria” to him ever again. She had enchanted him, had cast a spell on him; a spell that he desperately, yet unsuccessfully tried to break. He knew that there was no way that he could ever expect anything more than friendship from her. He was also certain that he could never take advantage of her. Shaking his head, he re-entered the theatre. “I will conquer this,” he said to himself. “I will.”
“Victoria! How dare you go sneaking off on us,” she said lightly. Mounting the stairs to join her daughter, she added, “Darling, you were incredible tonight. Such poise, such grace. I’m so proud of you.”
Victoria blushed. “Thank you, mother.”
“Now you’ll never guess who came back just in time for your stage debut.”
“Who?”
“Anna Bennett. She arrived home from Switzerland this morning and came right over to see you. Of course, I told her where you were and she insisted on seeing the show tonight.”
Victoria smiled, thinking of her old friend. “Where is she now?” she asked.
“Somewhere in the house, I know. Socializing and getting caught up with everyone. Now, you hurry up and change your clothes so you can come down and join in the party. Your new white dress will be lovely for this occasion. You can borrow my emerald necklace if you would like. Just please hurry.”
“Yes, mother.”
“Oh, and Victoria?”
“Yes?”
“Where’s Mark?”
“I don’t know. Why do you ask?”
“I was just curious, darling. You know, you should really be nicer to that man. You two would be lovely together.”
“Mother!” exclaimed Victoria indignantly. With that, she turned on her heel and rushed upstairs to avoid anymore of her mother’s controlling remarks.
Minutes later, Victoria descended the stairs, looking like an elegant angel in the white gown that her mother had chosen for her. The emerald necklace hung daintily from her neck, and her hair fell softly down her back in waves.
Seeing the figure in white sailing down the stairs, Mark waited at the bottom with his hand outstretched to her in a gentlemanly fashion. Dressed impeccably in a tuxedo with a black morning coat, he made a very dashing figure, thought Victoria.
As she reached the bottom of the stairs, Mark kissed her hand and proclaimed, “Lovely, as always, Miss Kildare.”
“Thank you,” she replied. “And yourself – quite handsome tonight. With that imposing presence, you could be starring in the play, not producing it. You might have to watch out for autograph seekers.”
Victoria took his arm and they walked in the direction of the dance floor, smiling and nodding to acquaintances as they passed.
“Quite the event your mother has thrown tonight,” commented Mark.
Victoria laughed and said, “Well, you know my mother. Any excuse for a party.”
“Well, since this is a party, let’s have some fun. May I have this dance?”
“Yes, yes you may. But just one, or else then my mother might start getting some ideas.”
“We wouldn’t want that happening, now would we?” said Mark as he pulled her close. The dance was a tango; a dance that both Victoria and Mark knew well. As Mark whirled her around the floor, Victoria found herself lost in the music. At that moment, the rest of the world did not exist, it was only her, Mark, the music, and the dance floor. Other couples backed off to watch as the evening’s guests of honour gracefully tangoed around the ballroom, oblivious to everything except the dance.
It wasn’t until the music stopped that Victoria became aware of the crowd of people who had been watching her. She heard some light applause as the other couples again took their places on the dance floor. Then, from behind her, Victoria heard a familiar voice remark, “Wow, for people who used to find joy in tormenting each other, you certainly make a lovely pair. I hope I didn’t miss anything when I was away.”
“Anna?” asked Victoria, turning around. There, standing behind herself and Mark was Mark’s little sister, and Victoria’s best friend, Anna Bennett.
“Hey sis, when’d you get back,” asked Mark.
“While you two were off preparing for your play. Nice of you to tell me about it!”
“I’m sorry, I know I should have,” said Victoria, “Everything just went by in such a blur that I barely even realized it myself.”
“Okay, I forgive you. Tori, you were amazing out there. I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much in my life. You never told me that you could act!”
“I never knew that I could!”
“And to think that my older brother put the whole thing together. It’s a miracle that it didn’t crash and burn,” she said with a sisterly smile.
“Yes, it’s nice to see you too, Anna,” replied Mark. “Anyway, I’ll leave you two alone for now. I’m sure that you have plenty of catching up to do.”
“So,” began Victoria. “How have you been? How was Switzerland? It must be beautiful there.”
“Oh, it is,” said Anna as they walked together towards the back gardens. “Tori, I can’t believe that we have both just graduated school. It’s scary, isn’t it?”
Victoria nodded.
“Well, I guess it wouldn’t be as scary for you, now that you have your acting career ahead of you. I can’t believe it, my best friend, an actress. All these years I’ve known you and I never even knew that you could act.”
“Well, I would never have done it had it not been for Mark. He’s the one who convinced me to audition for the part. Actually, he’s been there for me since the start. I owe him a lot.”
“Really?” asked Anna, a knowing smile crossing her face. “There isn’t anything between you and him, is there? That would be awfully weird if there was.”
“Oh, no, of course not. We have a good time together, that’s all. Just friends, if that.”
“Well, that tango sure looked like it was a lot of fun,” said Anna suggestively.
“He’s a good dancer, I must admit. That was just the actress in me taking over. Although, at the end, I sort of hoped that he was someone else.”
“Who else?”
Quickly Victoria regretted her words. “Nothing, nothing.”
“No, not nothing. Victoria, tell me. Come on. Who is this someone else.”
“You promise not to tell?”
“Of course I won’t tell. When have I ever told any of your secrets? You know you can trust me.”
“Fine. His name is Antonio. I met him at the graduation ball.” From there, Victoria went on to tell the entire story of her tumultuous relationship with Antonio. When she finished, Anna stared at her in wide eyed astonishment.
“Are you serious? Victoria, that is so hopelessly romantic! Why do you have to be so lucky as to have that happen to you!”
“Lucky? Are you kidding me?” asked Victoria.
“Of course not. You’ve had your very own love story. It’s like one of those old operas. True lovers parted. Then, at the end, they reunite and live happily ever after with everyone singing madly. You could be the beautiful soprano star.”
Victoria laughed and rolled her eyes. “You’ve always been the idealist, haven’t you? There was nothing dramatic about how Antonio left me. It ended. I’ll never see him again, so now I just have to spend the rest of my life trying to forget him. No sopranos, no grand finale. Just me standing on the dock, suitcase in hand, feeling like a fool.”
“Well, you never know,” said Anna. “Maybe he had some honour-bound reason for leaving you.”
“Can we please not talk about this anymore?” said Victoria, cutting off her friend. “It’s in the past. Besides, tonight is supposed to be a celebration. I think, instead of worrying about some stupid love affair in my past, we should concentrate on the present. And finding you someone to dance with!”
Victoria pulled Anna towards the dance floor and located Julian; the man who had played the part of Romeo. Introducing them, she then cajoled them into dancing together. Moving off to a corner to watch, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Turning around, she saw Mark behind her.
“Playing matchmaker for my sister, are you?” asked Mark.
“Oh, of course,” replied Victoria. “What else are best friends for?”
“Now I have to keep an eye on them. That’s what older brothers are for. So I think you’re going to have to dance with me, just so we can get a better view. Strictly for my sister’s good, of course.”
Victoria laughed. “Well, I guess I can do it for Anna’s sake.”
Victoria felt surprisingly comfortable in Mark’s arms as they danced. She quickly fought off the wish that it was Antonio in Mark’s place. The music reached her and she suddenly realized that the waltz playing was the same one that she had danced with Antonio at the graduation ball. A rush of memories flooded back, and she was again forced to fight back the desire to be with Antonio.
Noticing her discomfort, Mark asked, “What’s wrong?”
Quickly covering, Victoria replied, “Nothing at all.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course,” she said quickly, casting her eyes downward.
Leading her off to the side, Mark lifted Victoria’s chin so he could see her face.
Trying to pull away, Victoria said, “I swear, I’m alright.” Unable to move, she looked up into Mark’s eyes and saw something that she had never seen there before. Passion and longing flickered in their depths. Afraid of what was to come, Victoria pushed him away and disappeared through the French doors and into the dark garden.
Mark watched her go, once again angry at himself for his own forward actions.
“Mark, what was that?” said a voice from behind him.
Mark turned around to find Anna standing behind him, with a confused look in her eyes.
“What just happened?” she implored. “Victoria said that you two had become good friends – did she leave something out?”
“No, of course not. We’re friends.” Then, with a touch of regret, he added, “only friends.”
“Oh my god!” exclaimed Anna.
“What?”
“You have feelings for her, don’t you?”
Mark replied quickly, almost too quickly. “Of course not. Like I said, we’re friends.”
“I know that look. You care about her, and not just as a friend.”
“Fine, let’s say that I do. Just hypothetically. Because I don’t. But I’ll say that I do, just for your sake. What would it change? Nothing. She doesn’t feel the same way. So nothing changes and nothing happens. And, hypothetically, these feelings you say that I have, they just disappear. Right?”
Not wanting to embarrass her brother, Anna went along with him. “Well, then, it’s a good thing that you don’t care about her that way, then. I’m not supposed to tell anyone this, but I do think that you should know. You have to promise, though, not to tell Victoria; or anyone else for that matter, that I told you about this.”
Looking at her suspiciously, Mark said, “So what’s the big secret? A long lost love or something?”
“Well, actually, not that long lost. He was lost about the same time that her career was found.”
And so, for the second time that evening, the story of Victoria and Antonio was told. When Anna finished, Mark abruptly got up and left, seemingly stunned at what he had just heard.
“I really hope that I was right in telling him that,” thought Anna. “At least now he knows why Victoria pushes him away. Hopefully now he won’t get his heart broken. It was for the best, I know. It has to have been.”
Going hand in hand with her newfound theatrical success was a swarm of loyal bachelors vying for her company. As her popularity skyrocketed, so did her number of dinner companions. Despite this, Victoria still thought about Antonio. Not with such constancy nor longing as she had in the past; but every so often, over a candlelight dinner with a nice young man, she would find herself wishing that the nice young man would magically transform into her Antonio.
During that time, she wondered what had become of him. He had never tried to contact her after his departure, and Victoria was much too proud to write to Melissa and ask where her stepbrother had ended up. Realistically, she told herself, he was probably off on some Mediterranean Island, married, living happily, and not thinking of her at all. It was at moments like those when she attempted to build up her resolve to never think of him again. Unfortunately, such resolve never lasted long.
On the eve of the two year anniversary of the opening night of Romeo and Juliet, Mark, who never again repeated the advances he had made at the ball, appeared on the porch of Victoria’s house. Victoria, sitting on the porch swing buried in a new script, smiled up at her old friend. “Hello Mark. How are you?” she said casually.
“Not too bad, thanks,” he replied with equal casualness, as he sat on the swing next to her.
They both sat in silence, enjoying the peaceful stillness of the night. The garden railing behind the porch was covered in rosebushes in full bloom and the fragrant scent of roses permeated the air.
“You’ve provided me with a very nice distraction,” declared Victoria, finally breaking the silence. “I love my part in this new play, but I’m a little worried.”
“This is The Philadelphia Story, right?”
Victoria nodded.
“So, what’s the problem?”
“Well, this play is pretty new, right? It premiered on Broadway in 1938, and now it’s 1940. I mean, this isn’t like a Shakespearian play where its premiere was sometime in the 1500’s and no one remembers what it was like. People are still talking about Katharine Hepburn’s “smash hit”. Plus the movie is coming out soon. How can I ever compare with Katharine Hepburn?”
Ready with his usual reassuring response, Mark replied, “Victoria, they wouldn’t have chosen you for the part had they not seen exactly what they wanted in you.”
“I’d like to believe that. But what if it was just the red hair? Or the fact that I have a widely publicized name? Really, why would they choose me for the part? I’m too young for it.”
“They can age you with make-up, can’t they?”
“I’m just an acting rookie. Two plays, that’s all I’ve been in. Romeo and Juliet, and Hamlet. Both Shakespearian tragedies for that matter. Not comedies.”
“Good actresses can act in more than one genre. Besides, experience is nothing if you have the talent.”
“I have none of Katharine Hepburn’s natural spunk.”
Mark laughed. “Now I know you’re just disillusioning yourself with that one. You’re just as much of a feisty redhead as she is.”
“Mark, why are you so eternally certain of me?”
“You’ve never failed me yet. Or even given me a reason to doubt you.”
Mark looked soulfully at Victoria. Feeling uncomfortable under his gaze, she quickly changed the subject. “So, was there any particular reason that you came over to pay me a visit tonight?”
Regaining his usual nonchalance, Mark responded, “Yes, actually, there was. If you have managed to remember despite your constant state of worrying, tomorrow is the two-year anniversary of your stage debut. And in celebration, not only of your incredible talent, but of my incredible ability to choose leading ladies, I would like to take you out to celebrate. What do you think?”
“I’d like that. Where are you taking me?”
“I was thinking of that new restaurant, The Renaissance. I’ve been told it’s very nice. All the Hollywood stars dine there, apparently. Then, if you want, perhaps to see a play. One that neither of us is affiliated with, of course.”
“Sounds lovely.”
“So I’ll see you tomorrow night, then?”
“It’s a date.”
“Goodnight, Victoria.” With that, Mark rose to his feet and returned to his neighbouring house.
Watching him go, Victoria thought how strange life could be. She wondered if guardian angels really did exist. “If they do,” she thought, “Then I’ve certainly found mine.” Ever since his reappearance in her life, he had done nothing but be kind and helpful to her. Momentarily, she wondered what the motivation was behind his kindness, but she quickly dismissed the thought, reminding herself that some people were just naturally kind. “Whoever thought that Mark Bennett would turn out to be one of those people.”
“Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.” The grandfather clock in the downstairs hallway struck five o’clock. It echoed upstairs to Victoria’s room. “Damnit!” she cursed, realizing that she only had half an hour until Mark arrived. “Why am I so concerned about this?” she thought, angry at her own chronic lateness.
Wading through the maze of dresses that now littered her floor, Victoria once again returned to her closet. Reaching into its depths, she pulled out a stunning green dress. Running her hands over its soft folds, she felt a rush of memories of the fateful day that she met Antonio. She held the dress up and realized that it was the one that she had worn on the night of her graduation. She hadn’t worn it since that night – hadn’t even looked at it.
Glancing at her clock, she pushed sentiment aside and buttoned up the dress. To her hair, which she had long since cut off into a fashionably short style, she added a few bobby pins and combed it until it shone. Grabbing her gloves, hat, and handbag, she raced down the stairs, just as the clock chimed five-thirty. Relieved that Mark had not yet arrived, Victoria sat outside on the swing, spreading the capacious skirt of her dress around her.
Peering around the large tree that was next to the swing, Victoria saw Mark emerge from his neighbouring house. Clad in a simple suit and tie, Mark looked as handsome as Victoria had ever seen him. She felt her heart skip a beat as she admired how tall and strong he looked. His blonde hair looked like a golden halo in the evening sunlight, only adding to his seemingly youthful charm.
Instantly, Victoria noticed the strange look on his face. His usual complacent expression was replaced with a look of determined confusion.
“Good evening,” she said cordially, somewhat ill at ease. “How are you tonight?”
Remaining taciturn, Mark paced on one end of the porch and back before finally turning to Victoria. “I planned to do this at the end of the evening, but I can’t wait. This is going to sound unexpected, I know, but Victoria, I love you.”
Shocked and unable to find words, Victoria simply gaped at Mark.
He continued. “Ever since the day that you came back into my life, you have captivated me. Your charm, your spirit, the way that you can brighten my entire day just by smiling at me. I may be crazy, but I can’t deny it any longer. Victoria, I love you more than I thought I could ever love anyone. Will you marry me?”
Victoria searched the depths of his eyes and found nothing but sincerity there. “He really means it. He really wants to marry me,” she thought frantically. “Why this? Why now?” she asked him.
“Because I couldn’t lie to you any longer about how I felt,” he replied earnestly.
Unsure of what to do, Victoria replied in the only way that she felt safe. “I don’t know.”
Sensing her unwillingness, Mark replied, “Take as long as you want to decide.”
“Thank you. And, goodnight.”
With that, Victoria walked into her house and closed the door. Safely inside, she collapsed on the bottom stair and buried her head in her hands.
“How could he do that?” she thought. “How could he go and ruin a beautiful friendship like that? Now what am I supposed to do? If I say no, I could lose Mark forever. Yet how can I accept the proposal of a man who I do not truly love?”
Somehow, no matter what she reasoned, the possibility of losing Mark forever seemed unbearable. She needed him as she had never needed anyone else in her life. Not only was he one of her closest friends, he was also her strength. She owed him her career, and as a result, almost everything that she was to that day.
“I can’t lose all that! Oh, why did he have to go and ruin it all?” she said aloud, unaware of her mother, who was standing on the stair behind her.
“Do what, darling? What happened?” she asked, unnerved by her daughter’s obvious distress.
Victoria hesitated, unsure if it would be better to simply lie to her mother. Nonetheless, she did need someone to talk to, and her mother was as good as anyone else. Although, she was already certain what her mother’s response would be.
“Mark just proposed to me.”
Margaret face lit up. “That’s wonderful news!”
“No, mother, it’s not.”
“How is it not?” inquired Margaret. “He is a wonderful man. You would be very happy with him.”
“Mother, I don’t love him.”
“Could you not learn to love him?”
Victoria rolled her eyes in annoyance.
Margaret’s expression changed from excited bliss to understanding. “Victoria, I know that you think that my sole mission in life is to marry you off, but I can assure you that it isn’t. I would love to see you married, but only happily so. The only reason that I think that you should accept Mark’s proposal is because I think that you would be truly happy with him. I’ve seen you two together – you never seem to be as happy with anyone else as you are with him; and he’s obviously crazy about you. He would make a wonderful husband.”
“He’s a wonderful friend. Why did he have to go and ruin everything?”
“If he loves you and he lied about it, that’s not much of a friendship, is it? What did you say to him, anyway?”
“I told him that I didn’t know. That I wasn’t sure.”
With striking empathy, Margaret replied, “Well, you can only do what you believe to be right. But I will tell you this, if you wait all your life detached and chasing some ideal, one day you will wake up and realize that your best chance at happiness has passed you by because you were to busy with something that doesn’t exist to notice. I don’t know why you search to find fault with every gentleman who cares about you, but in not giving them a chance, you’re not giving yourself a chance either. Think about that, darling.”
Her mother’s advice also ran through her mind. Inadvertently, her usually obtuse mother had actually hit the truth dead on. After all, if Antonio really wanted her back, he would have come back by now. Wouldn’t he have? She should move on, not spend all of her life chasing a dream that would never again be hers.
If each person only had one true love, Victoria knew that she had found and lost hers. Therefore, if she’d never love again, she might as well marry someone who she knew would be good to her. Mark would be a good husband. After all, he was a great friend, and always fun to be with. She enjoyed his presence and looked forward to seeing him.
“If I can’t have true love, I might as well marry for fun,” she said to herself, her mind made up. “I will marry him, and we will be happy.”
She immediately ventured outside, in search of Mark. It was 7 am, far too early to simply knock on his door and hope he’d be awake. Mark had long talked of moving downtown into a place of his own, but his traditionalist mother had forbidden it. Victoria cursed this, desiring the privacy that went along with her fiancée to be having his own home.
Still desperate to see him, Victoria decided that desperate times called for desperate measures. Outside Mark’s second story window was a large old oak tree that she and Anna had climbed as children. Although it had been a long time since she’d ever climbed a tree, she decided it was worth a try.
Clambering ungracefully up the tree, cursing her short skirt all the while, Victoria eventually perched herself on a branch outside Mark’s window. Peering in, the room appeared deserted, but Victoria knocked on the window anyway. Although this created no response from Mark’s room, the neighboring window opened, and Anna’s head poked out.
“Victoria??” she asked, shock obvious in her voice. “Do I even want to know what you are doing at my brother’s window?”
“Probably not, although I doubt it’s what you think it is,” she replied with a laugh. “Where is he?”
“Why do you care?”
Victoria paused, unsure if a lie would serve her better at present. She decided against it, since everyone would find out soon enough anyway.
“I’m telling him that I will marry him.”
Anna stared at Victoria, unable to say anything. Finally, she found words and asked, “What? Come in here now. I want to know what’s happening!”
Victoria complied, climbing across the roof and into her friend’s window.
“Well…” asked Anna.
Unable to keep a smile off her face, Victoria began, “Well, your brother proposed to me last night. I said I wasn’t sure, but I decided this morning that I would, so I figured it would be best to tell him as soon as possible, since my decision does somewhat affect him.”
“But where did this come from? There was no indication – do you even love him?”
“He said that he’d loved me for a long time and that it was unfair to me to not admit it. It was a complete surprise to me.”
“Do you love him?”
“Why does that matter? We’re going to be happy together, and that’s all that’s important.”
“Well, be good to him, Victoria. I love my brother and I don’t want to see you hurt him.”
Victoria looked puzzled. “How would I hurt him?”
“By not loving him. And by not being over a certain fantasy of yours when you marry him.”
“Fantasy? What fantasy?”
“You know who I’m talking about. Your one love affair – Antonio.”
“Anna, I’ll never forget Antonio. I’ll love him forever and nothing
will change that. But I’ve got to be realistic. I’ll never see him again. And I will be happy with Mark.”
“I think that you really do care about Mark. If you could get the ideal that you’ve made of Antonio out of your mind, I think you could even fall in love with him. It’s a shame you’re not letting yourself.”
Slightly frustrated, Victoria changed the subject, “Anyway, where can I find your darling brother?”
“I don’t know – you could try the beach, though. I know he goes there to think sometimes.”
“Thanks, Anna. And don’t worry, I won’t break his heart. I couldn’t live with myself if I did.”
“He’s the best friend I’ve ever had,” she thought. “He’s always there for me…and he makes me smile. I just don’t want to risk losing him. That’s all.”
Her thoughts were interrupted as she saw a figure, silhouetted against the sunrise, emerge from the water. As he moved closer, she instantly recognized him to be Mark. Her heart skipped a beat as she admired his strong, tanned body. How a theatre producer got a body like that, she did not know, but Victoria was impressed.
“I’m starting to think like Melissa,” she thought, laughing at the memory of her old roommate. “Soon my mind really will reside in the gutter!”
“Mark!” she called, waving from the edge of the beach. He glanced up and she ran to him.
Caught off guard by Victoria’s sudden appearance, Mark stammered uncomfortably and searched for his shirt. “Good morning, Victoria, i-it’s nice to see you..”
Victoria cut him off. “Yes,” she said.
“What?” he replied with a mixture of hope and confusion in his voice.
She smiled. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
To this, Mark gave no response other than a stunned silence. He was afraid to speak or to move, in the fear of it all being a dream. Victoria, uncomfortable and disconcerted by his silence, turned to leave.
“Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that, I’ll be leav…”
Now it was his turn to cut her off. Mark grabbed her hand, pulled her close, and kissed her. Her heart fluttered and her knees grew weak as he deepened the kiss.
After what seemed like only seconds, he pulled away but still kept his arm around her waist. Still lightheaded and weak, Victoria clung to him and looked into his eyes in amazement. “Wow…” she said softly. He only laughed.
On December 1st, 1941, Mark drove Victoria to the dock. She had opted to take a cruise to reach Hawaii. She kissed him goodbye, and Mark watched longingly as she boarded the ship. Before he knew it, she was waving over the rail as the ship pulled out of the harbour.
Once out to sea, Victoria settled comfortably into her luxurious cabin. She smiled at the freedom she finally had. No directors breathing down her neck, no mother hounding her to make wedding plans. Everything in her life was just happening so quickly, she felt suffocated by it all. Out of habit, she opened her latest script and set to work learning her lines, but then remembered herself and tossed it under a pillow. Instead, she picked up her coat and hat and headed out for a stroll on the deck.
The sun was shining brightly on the deck, but there was a cold breeze that kept most of the passengers below. Holding the rail to keep her balance, Victoria walked to the front of the ship. There was nothing visible on the horizon but blue ocean. She smiled in spite of herself and leaned over the rail, spreading her arms as if she was about to take flight. Then, suddenly, a gust of wind crept up and ripped her hat off of her head. Quickly snapping back to reality, Victoria turned and began to chase after the errant hat as it blew along the deck.
Turning a corner, Victoria reached out to grab her hat and collided with a stranger who had been walking in the opposite direction. Muttering a quick “sorry”, she pounced on the hat, then stood up straight, fixing her clothes and hair.
“What a sight I must be,” she thought as she turned around to apologize to the gentleman with whom she had collided. Hat in hand, she walked up to him. “I’m sorry, sir…” She trailed off as her eyes met his. “Antonio?”
Standing before her was Antonio, looking as handsome and dashing as he had the last time she saw him. Conflicting emotions welled up in her chest. Anger, longing, desire. Quickly, though, her desire overpowered her anger. To Victoria, everything suddenly made sense. She knew that all the nights that she had spent dreaming of Antonio, all the time she had spent trying to forget him was in vain. As long as they both lived, she would love him and would want to be with him.
“Victoria…I…”
“It’s lovely to see you again, Antonio,” said Victoria, in a desperate attempt to make small talk.
“You’ve forgiven me?” Victoria nodded and Antonio smiled. “Well, then, how would you like to join me for dinner in my cabin tonight?”
“I’d like that.”
“Just a moment,” he called.
The door opened and Antonio stood there, shirtless, holding a towel. Victoria felt her heart quicken as she gazed at his perfect, tanned form. His shoulders and arms were strong and muscular; in his shirtless state he looked more powerful than Victoria had ever seen him look before.
“You’re early,” he said with a smile.
“I’m sorry,” Victoria replied, searching for her voice.
“Just let me get dressed and I will be out,” he called as he made his way to the bedroom. “Open the champagne, if you like.”
Victoria walked over to the table and picked up the champagne, then looked around for champagne glasses. “Antonio?” she called. He didn’t respond. Moving towards the bedroom, she asked again, “Antonio? Where are the champagne glasses?”
She entered his bedroom to find him bent over a trunk, looking for clothes for the evening. Repeating her question again, softly this time, Victoria asked, “Where can I find the glasses?”
Antonio looked up then walked towards her. “Did I tell you how gorgeous you look tonight?”
Victoria blushed and looked away. Moving closer, Antonio put an arm around her waist; his hand tingled on her bare skin. “Nothing has changed, has it darling?” he asked.
Almost unable to speak, Victoria responded, “No, I guess nothing has.”
And, with that, Antonio kissed her. She felt his heart pounding with desire against his. Slowly and gently they made their way across the room to the bed. All fears and inhibitions fell away from Victoria’s mind as the waves of passion swirled around them, leading them both into a journey that they would never forget.
After that night, Victoria fought valiantly against the overwhelming guilt that she felt. Spending time with Antonio was like a drug, it was the only thing that kept her mind off of how she had betrayed the man who she had promised to marry. Whenever she thought of Mark, she felt pangs of regret. Lying awake in Antonio’s arms, she often found herself forcing the image of Mark’s handsome face, stricken with grief at her betrayal, out of her mind. Nonetheless, she would always remind herself that Antonio was her first love, and her true love. Antonio had always been the one for her, even when they were apart. True love didn’t happen twice.
On the last night of their voyage, Antonio invited Victoria to dinner in his suite. Over a quiet, candlelit dinner, Victoria couldn’t keep her mind off of the future.
“What happens next?” she asked, breaking the silence.
Antonio looked up, surprised. He opened his mouth to reply, but Victoria cut him off.
“I mean, when we get to Hawaii. And after that. We both have separate lives. I’m engaged, I’m sure you have a girl somewhere. What happens when we have to go back to reality?”
“I don’t know, Victoria. I don’t know.”
“I only have a few days in Hawaii. Then I have to go back to California. What will we do then?”
Antonio smiled. “Do you love me?”
“Of course.”
“And I love you, too. Everything will work out. I don’t know how, but it will. We belong together and nothing can change that.”
“Do you promise me that this won’t end?”
“Yes, I promise you.”
Following the attack, all of Hawaii was in a state of chaos. When the attack happened, Victoria had been in her hotel room, awaiting Antonio’s return. She spent two days in the room, refusing to leave, praying that she would receive some sort of word from Antonio. Finally, on the third day, Victoria received a frantic telegram from her mother, begging her to return home immediately.
If Victoria thought that losing Antonio for the first time was terrible, it was nothing compared to this new loss. Not only did she cry at the loss on Antonio’s love, she feared desperately for his safety. She boarded her ship for California feeling guilt beyond words. Antonio could be dead or dying and she wasn’t there for him.
As soon as she returned home, Victoria locked herself in her room, claiming that she was in need of rest.
“What do I do now?” she thought. “Do I tell Mark what I did? He’ll never forgive me, I know it. If I tell him, I’ll lose him entirely. I wouldn’t mind it so much if he broke off our engagement, but I don’t know what I’d do without his friendship.”
She worried over this long into the night, but to no reprieve. The next morning, she went to Anna’s house hoping to unburden her tortured soul. After listening calmly to Victoria’s entire story, Anna stared at her in dead silence.
Finally, in a cold voice she began to speak. “I always feared that your being involved with my brother would come between us. I guess this is that moment. See, I guess I’m torn between being your best friend and also being Mark’s little sister. As your best friend, I guess I should support you. But at Mark’s sister, I’m disgusted. How could you, Victoria? Even if you didn’t truly love Mark, how could you do this to him?”
And with that, Victoria broke down in tears. “I don’t know, I really don’t know. It was the worst mistake of my life. And now, I have nothing. Antonio is probably dead, or if not, he’s forgotten me entirely. I gave up everything for a few days of passion. You hate me now, and I know I’ll lose Mark if he finds out.”
“If he finds out? You mean when he finds out, right. You have to tell him, Tori.”
When Victoria didn’t respond, Anna added, “If you don’t tell him, I will. You can’t deceive him like this. What do you expect for a future with him if you can’t tell him the truth?”
“Fine,” snapped Victoria. “I’ll tell him.” Then seeing the hurt look on Anna’s face, she broke down again. “Anna, I’m so sorry. I don’t know how I did this. I’m just so mad at myself that I’m taking it out on everyone else. You have every right to hate me, I know.”
“I don’t hate you, Tori. I’m just disappointed in you. Now go tell my brother the truth. He doesn’t deserve to be oblivious to the truth for any longer.”
Knocking on the door, she paced impatiently in the hallway waiting for Mark’s answer. She was near the far end of the hall when she finally heard the door open. Mark looked in the hallway, saw Victoria and smiled. “Victoria! What are you doing here?” Then, noticing the despairing look on her face, he added, “What’s wrong? Come in. Please.” Guiding her into the apartment, he asked, “Can I get you anything?” She shook her head. “Here, sit down.”
But Victoria again refused. She stood in the middle of his living room, desperately clutching at her purse to keep her hands from shaking. She realized that the nerves that she felt before going on stage would be nothing compared to this. Mark moved over to his desk and began attempting to straighten things up. “Sorry, I’ve just been working,” he said, trying to break the silence. Victoria studied him as he did this. With his hair rumpled and his shirt un-tucked, he looked more like the boy next door that she’d known for all of her life than the charming, successful man that he’d become. In that moment, their entire relationship flew through Victoria’s mind. And in that moment, she felt like someone had just stolen the sunshine from her life. For a few days of crazed passion, she gave up the one man who had always been there for her, the one man she couldn’t live without. All her illusions of keeping his friendship vanished as she realized that Mark would have nothing to do with her once she told him. Nonetheless, she knew that Anna was right. She had to tell him the truth.
She took a deep breath, and began. “Mark, I have something to tell you. Before you came back, I was with a man named Antonio. The day you cast me in the play, we had planned to meet to run off together, but he didn’t come. So I decided to move on with my life. Then, on the boat, I saw him again. And I… I…” forcing herself to keep her composure, she continued, “I had an affair with him… I’m so sorry. I know that you must hate me now, and I don’t expect anything else. You can do what you want now – tell the world for all I care. Just know that I’m sorry. If I could take it back, I would.” And without even glancing at Mark, she took off her engagement ring, placed it on the corner of the desk, and walked out.
Mark watched her go, too stunned to say, do, or feel anything. He just watched her leave, seemingly frozen for an eternity. Finally comprehending what had just happened, he grabbed the engagement ring off the desk and flung it to the opposite corner of the room.
“Victoria?” called her mother’s voice. “Victoria, darling, is that you?” Then, with a look at Victoria’s troubled expression, she added, “Are you okay, honey?
“Yes, I’m fine,” replied Victoria shortly as she turned to go to her room.
Margaret’s voice took on a tone of motherly concern. “No you’re not. Now tell me what’s wrong.”
“Mom, I told you, I’m fine,” said Victoria, forcing back tears.
“Victoria, you may be a great stage actress, but I can still see right through you. So are you going to tell me what’s going on or am I just going to have to force it out of you?”
“I.. I broke off my engagement.”
“You what??” exclaimed Margaret. “Why???”
“That’s none of your business.”
For a moment, Margaret looked like she was going to rage at her, but she paused.
“What, no interrogation?” asked Victoria, shocked at her mother’s silence.
“No… I’m sure you have your reasons. You’re an adult now, and I have to accept that.” Then, after another pause, she added, “I’m disappointed, but it’s your life. I want you to be happy.”
Victoria smiled, taking Anna’s wave as a sign that she had forgiven her. “How are you?” she asked, as she sat down next to Anna under the tree.
“Fine,” she said, and Victoria was shocked at the iciness in her voice.
Victoria got up quickly. “Sorry, I thought you’d forgiven me. Look, I know what I did was wrong, and I’m going to regret it for the rest of my life. I hurt your brother,” Victoria still could not say Mark’s name aloud without an overwhelming rush of guilt, “and I hate myself for it. What else do you want me to do?” And with that, she looked away, quickly wiping tears from her eyes.
“Tori, he’s gone.”
“What?”
“Mark has left. He’s joined the army.”
“He’s gone off to war?”
“Yes. He said he had to get away, and he just left.”
“No, it can’t be. He couldn’t of… because of…”
“Yes, Victoria, because of what you did to him. And now my brother’s gone off to war, and it’s all your fault. If he gets killed, it will be all your fault.”
Days melted into weeks, weeks into months, and the news remained the same. Victoria gave her last performance in “The Importance of Being Earnest” and retired to her house, spending more and more time alone in her room or walking along the beach.
“She’s just given up on life,” remarked Archibald to his wife as he watched his daughter’s dejected form plod along the path leading to the beach.
“Ever since she broke off her engagement to Mark she just hasn’t been herself. But she won’t admit, even to herself, how much she truly loves that man.”
A short time later, Victoria wandered up the main path, looking as desolate as ever. Upon entering the house, the butler informed her that there was a young man waiting to see her in the sitting room.
“I don’t want to see anyone,” she replied. “Can you please make my excuses to him.”
“Are you sure about that?” asked a voice from the hallway behind her. Victoria whirled around and to her astonishment, standing before her was Antonio.
Victoria knew that this was a moment in which she was supposed to be overcome with a proverbial rush of emotion and either faint, cry, or laugh. But, to her own surprise, she did none of the three. In the place of the warmth she usually felt in Antonio’s presence, she felt strangely hollow. Quickly she put that feeling off to surprise – after all, Antonio was the love of her life. Everything she had done, everything she had sacrificed in recent years had been for him.
“Antonio!” she exclaimed. “What on earth are you doing here?”
“That’s a fairly cold welcome, isn’t it? Doesn’t a returning war hero at least deserve to be greeted with a kiss?”
Obligingly, she kissed him, and was surprised at the total lack of passion she felt when her lips met his.
“So I guess you want to know what I’ve been up to for the past few years?” he asked.
“Why didn’t you write me? I was so worried. After we were separated in Hawaii, I honestly believed you were dead.”
“Well, I thought I might as well surprise you. I’ve become a fighter pilot. Or at least, I was a fighter pilot until I was shot down defending an allied base. Now,” he said, gesturing to his cane, “I’m little more than a civilian. I’ve been sent home to recover. I did get a nice reward for it, though.”
“You mean the medals?” Victoria asked, trying to keep her attention focused on Antonio.
“Glad you noticed, my darling,” he replied. “I’ve won a few, haven’t I? I guess I just have a talent for the game of war.”
“I guess so.”
“But Victoria, I didn’t come here to talk about my successes. I came to ask you something that I should have asked you a long time ago. Darling, will you marry me?”
For what seemed like an hour, Victoria stood, paralyzed by Antonio’s words. These were the words that she had desperately waited to long to hear, yet when they were spoken aloud they took upon them a chilling reality. For years she had dreamed about Antonio, convinced that he was the only man for her. But in that moment, with him standing before her, handsome yet so infinitely sure of himself, the prospect of spending the rest of her life with him frightened her. She realized that despite the long years he had lived on in her mind, she did not know him at all. She had long convinced herself that she was in love with him, but in truth, she had been in love with a stranger, and thus not even really in love with him at all. He was an ideal – a romantic fantasy created by an innocent young woman. Ideals can’t live in reality, she thought.
In that one moment, Victoria came to terms with her own mind in a way that she never had before. It came as a shock to her – a woman who made a life by living in the minds of fictional characters was suddenly forced to understand the one mind she’d never given any thought to – her own.
“No, Antonio, I’m sorry.”
“Victoria, what do you mean?”
“I mean that I can’t marry you. Please don’t ask my reasons. I’m not even sure I could tell you my reasons. I just know that we can’t be together.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” She looked up at him, piercing the depths of his brown eyes.
He nodded his ascent. “Then I guess this is it. I’m sorry, Victoria. We could have been happy together. I hope you realize that someday.” And with that, he left.
Victoria watched him until he disappeared down the street. “I can’t believe it,” she thought. “I’m going insane. I just turned down Antonio. He’s the love of my life. Or at least I always thought he was. All this time I’ve been deceiving myself. So what does this mean? The entire time I was blinded by my belief in my love for Antonio, what did I miss?”
And in that moment the answer came to her like a flash of lightning. Mark. All along, he’d been there for her. She knew him for all that he was, and he knew her better than any other person in the world. The feelings that she’d always just written off as friendship were more than that. They were love, love in the truest and deepest sense. How could she have been so blind?
“Now it’s too late,” Victoria mused. “I have to try something, though. Anything. I have to apologize to him. I have to tell him how I feel. He loves me and I love him. If I can just tell him, I know he’ll forgive me.”
Grabbing her coat and rushing out the front door, Victoria dashed next door, to Mark’s parents’ house. Her relationship with both his parents and Anna had never been truly mended since she called off the engagement, but to that she paid no mind. She needed Mark’s address, and she was willing to put up with any amount of coldness from his parents to get it. “After all,” she thought, “I deserve it.” She again chastised herself for her own blindness.
She banged on the door and, to her surprise, Anna answered. “Anna,” she exclaimed, “I need to write to Mark. I have to tell him… I have to tell him something important. What’s his address?” She trailed off as she looked at Anna’s tearstained face.
“Anna,” she whispered hoarsely, “It can’t be… He’s not…” She trailed off and her breath caught in her through.
“Missing in action,” replied Anna in a choked voice.
The world began to spin, and Victoria felt faint. She took a deep breath, trying to force herself to be strong for her friend. Anna looked at her with nothing but sadness in her gaze. Victoria quickly stepped inside and the two embraced. No longer able to fight off tears, Victoria sobbed. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she whispered over and over again.
“I know,” replied Anna.
“Do you think he could still be alive?”
“He might be. All I know is that you can’t give up hope.”
“If he’s dead, it’s all my fault. My stupid fault for being such a blind idiot. Mom, I loved him. I really did, I just didn’t know it at the time. If I hadn’t broken my engagement, he never would have enlisted.”
“Did you tell him you loved him?”
“No, I didn’t. And now it’s too late.”
“Come now, it might not be.”
“Even if he’s still alive, he’ll never speak to me again.”
Margaret stood up and took Victoria’s hand. “Look, darling, you can spend the rest of your life moping over decisions and moments you regret, or you can get on with your life and make the best of what’s happened. You broke off your engagement, and now your ex-fiancée is missing in action. That’s what happened and you can’t change it. You’re just going to have to get on with your life. Sitting around this house day after day won’t change anything. If Mark does come back, you’re right that he’ll never speak to you again – not if he sees what you’ve become. But Victoria, he loves you. Yes he was angry, and he was hurt when he left; but if he makes it out of this war, he’ll come back here. And if you can remind him of just why he fell in love with you, you might just be able to win him back.
Victoria looked up at her mother, momentarily speechless.
“So what are you going to do,” asked Margaret.
“You’re right, mom. You’re completely right. How, though? How do I get on with my life?”
“Well, to begin with, you could go back to work. The stage misses you, darling. Even after all this time, I still read about you in the newspapers. Everyone’s speculating about your disappearance. Why not plan a grand return and give them something better to write about?”
As the curtain fell, Victoria retreated to her dressing room, changed quickly, and rushed home.
“Mom?” she called as she ran through the door. “Mom, are you here?”
Margaret emerged from the study, a finger to her lips. “Tori, it’s almost midnight – you’re going to wake the whole house! What is it?”
“Is he back?”
Margaret looked surprised. “How did you know? He got back late this afternoon, after you left for the theatre. I was waiting up to tell you… but how on earth did you know?”
“He was at my show! Or at least, I think he was. Maybe I was wrong, I don’t know. I must be going crazy.”
Margaret smiled. “Well, if he was, you know at least that he’s been thinking about you.”
With that, Victoria began to walk towards the door.
“Where are you going? It’s late – you can’t go next door now! Wait until the morning.”
“Don’t worry, mom, I’m not going to go disturb the Bennett family. I’m just going for a little walk – I want to clear my head.”
“At this hour?”
“I’ll be careful. Good night, mom.” Then, after a pause, she added, “Thank you for everything. I love you.”
“I thought I’d take a chance that I’d find you here.”
“Well, you found me,” he said blandly. “Now what?”
Not to be put off by his lack of emotion, Victoria continued on. “I thought I saw you earlier today, and I was just curious if it really was you.”
Mark looked up at her, searching her face, then looked away. “Well, I’m back. The gallant hero returned from battle, or whatever they’re saying in the papers these days. Want to see my scars?” With that, he got up and began to walk away. “It’s been fun, Victoria. Let’s not do it again sometime. Have a nice night.”
Filled with dread and desperation, Victoria dropped her composure and followed him. “Mark, wait!!” she exclaimed, her heart written clearly across her face.
Mark stopped, and turned to her. “Look, Victoria –” but she cut him off.
“Please, just let me say this. Then if you want to walk away and never see me again, I’ll understand. I can’t say I’ll be happy… in fact, I’ll probably be as hopelessly lonely and miserable as I’ve been all this time you’ve been away, but I’ll understand.” She paused, trying to get the confidence to say all that she knew she had to say. “Mark, I’m sorry. For everything. For hurting you, for leading you on, and mostly just for being such a stupid blind fool that I couldn’t see true love and happiness when it was standing right before me. I wasted so much time chasing after this stupid ideal that I’d created that I was blinded by it. And now I regret it more than anything because, if I’d only known better, wouldn’t have wasted that time – I’d have spent it with you. Mark Bennett, I love you, and if you give me a second chance, I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”
She looked up at him, hoping for a sign of happiness, love… even anger; but there was nothing. His face was an impenetrable mask. Fighting back tears, Victoria said, “Well, I just wanted you to know the truth. I’ll leave you now. Goodbye.”
She slowly turned and began to walk away, wiping tears from her eyes, when she felt a warm hand on her arm. Whirling around, she saw Mark smiling at her. “I think I just might have to take you up on that offer of yours.”
“Offer?” she said through her tears.
“Well, I am curious to know how you plan on spending the rest of your life making it up to me.”
Victoria felt like a hundred pound weight had just been lifted from her shoulders. She smiled and leaned up to kiss him.
“That’s definitely a good start.”
Victoria laughed. “And this is only just the beginning.”