"Ouch, Comet get over here and help me!" cried Santa as he tried to get his pants on. "This fit me last year," he thought.
It was September, just a few months until Christmas, and he couldn't get his suit on. "Too many cookies," he sighed, and plopped down on the couch. He turned on the TV and put on Baywatch.
Just then, a commercial for Jenny Craig came on. Santa got an idea. He raced to the phone to call Jenny Craig.
When the operator picked up the phone, Santa told her that he was 1050 pounds and desperate. She told him to come to the head office in California right away.
When he got off the phone, he called Mrs. Claus and told her that they were going to California.
"Why?" she asked.
"Because that's that Jenny Craig told me to do."
Mrs. Claus wasn't happy, but she went anyway.
The next day, they arrived in California. The reindeer hated it there because it was so hot. Everyone was surprised to see a sleigh parked in the middle of the beach.
As Santa looked around, a voice called his name. He turned around and saw a tall, slim, blonde haired woman walking up to him. She introduced herself as Carrie.
"I work for Jenny Craig and I will help you lose weight," she said. "Now I want to see you here at 5:00 am sharp tomorrow!"
"FIVE?" yelped Santa, and fainted.
The next morning, Santa woke up to hear a sharp rapping on his door. "Huh?" He glanced at his clock. It read 5:00. "I'm going back to sleep," he thought. Suddenly the knocking came again.
"Get moving, Santa!" a voice called. Then he remembered what Carrie had said.
He slowly climed out of bed and plodded out the door.
"Okay Santa!" said Carrie, "We are going on a ten mile jog before breakfast, then you have a big breakfast of carrot stickes. Then you work out in the weight room until lunch, then..."
Santa cut her off short. "Are you kidding?" he cried. I'm not eating carrots for breakfast!"
Carrie told him to be quiet and she went on with her plan. "Like I said, for lucnh you can have a salad, then you swim until dinner and to bed early.
By this time, Santa was freaking out. He begged and pleaded for Carrie to ease up but she wouldn't.
An hour later Santa was huffing and puffing as he jogged along.
"Only 5 more miles," said Carrie enthusiastically.
At breakfast Santa was almost in tears. Usually Santa had milk and cookies for breakfast, not carrots. The most weight Santa could lift was 10 pounds. When Carrie tried to add more, Santa got squished. When he tried to swim, Santa sank to the bottom of the ocean. Carrie had to go in and pull him out.
That night, Santa flopped into bed, exhausted.
"Wake me up in a year," he said to Mrs. Claus.
Over the next two weeks, Santa went through the same routine. One day, as Santa was jogging along, a small child stopped him and asked sadly why he was losing weight. That made Santa feel very unhappy.
A few days later, Santa almost went crazy. He kicked and screamed and begged for real food.
That night, Mrs Claus decided that she would try to end the diet. When she asked Santa to quit, he said yes right away. He said that he was fed up with the diet, but he didn't have enough guts to tell Carrie.
Soon, they packed up and went back to the North Pole. And Santa never went on a diet again.
THE END