Jokes
Because he kept going and going...
Why did the Energizer Bunny take so long in the bathroom?
"Odor in the court, odor in the court!"
What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
...or did your neck blow a bubble?
Is that your head...
Lawn cheers.
What causes a noisy backyard?
Third grade.
What are the worst six years of an idiot's life?
Something you don't want to see in front of your house.
What do you get when you cross a lion and a porcupine?
Your bike.
What did the thief give his sister for her birthday?
Vitamin.
What do you do when a health-food salesman comes to your door?
Your nose: You can pick it and blow it.
What's the most musical instrument of your body?
Nine.
If two's company and three's a crowd, what's four and five?
They're both fun to ride until your friends see you.
What do a fat lady and a motor-scooter have in common?
To the wax museum
Where do bees go on their day off?
He was hired and fired on the same night.
Did you hear about the guy who got a job as a human cannonball?
A pool table.
What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
What is a zebra?
Anyone can roast beef.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Because they have buck teeth.
Why do all male deer need to wear braces?
Russel.
What do you call a dog with no legs in a pile of leaves?
...I had one, and he didn't.
My principal and I had a personality conflict...
Because it has no point.
Why is a bad joke like a poor pencil?
You glow girl!!
What did one lightning bug say to the other?
It's easy. Just go outside and there it is!
How do you find the weather at camp?
Because he was shellfish!
Why wouldn't the clam share his toys?
You would to if all those people saw you changing!
Why do traffic lights turn red?
Jurassic Pork.
What do you call bacon that's been in the fridge so long, that it's turned green?
Lawn cheers.
What causes a noisy back yard?
Put a little boogie in it.
How do you get a tissue to dance?
Moss code.
How do you send a message in the forest?
A creature that honks before it runs you over.
What would you get if you crossed a Mazda with a goose?
A puddle.
What do you call Frosty the Snowman in May?
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