Jokes
Because she keeps running away from the ball.
Why can't Cinderella play soccer?
Meat.
If the butcher is 5'8" tall, what does he weigh?
You get repossessed.
What happens when you don't pay the exorcist?
For the halibut.
Why did the fisherman go sailing?
He wiped his butt!
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He was tired of working for Peanuts.
Why did Snoopy quit his job?
In his sleevies!!!!!!!!
Where does George Washington keep his armies?
Ever heard of corn flakes?
Does corn get dandruff?
A nervous wreck.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
...you have to go outside to eat a large pizza.
That house is so small...
Shakespeare.
What do you call a nervous knight?
Super lemon.
What's yellow and flies through the air?
Someone else's pants on.
If you have $100 in your front pockets and $200 in your back pockets, what do you have?
You don't know?
What do you call a person who answers a question with another question?
Mother cannibal: "OK, just eat your vegetables."
Young cannibal: "I don't like my brother."
Half a dog.
What has two legs but can't walk?
One was assaulted.
Did you hear about the two peanuts in the park?
Winnie the P.U.
What do you get when you cross a bear and a skunk?
"I'm not surprised, sir. It was ground only a few minutes ago."
"Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud!"
License to chill.
What kind of license does a refrigerator have?
Turnip the music and lettuce rejoice!
What did the workers at the vegetable factory say when they got a raise?
ouch! ouch! ouch!
What were Julius Caesar's last three words?
...when he gets on the scale, it says "to be continued..."
He's so fat..
To prove he wasn't chicken.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
I liked it so much, that I think I'll get them all cut next time.
I went to the barber the other day and got a haircut.
on the outside.
On what side are a leopard's spots?
Soup.
What do you call a chicken in a bathtub?
In gramma schools.
Where do grandmothers get their educations?
to be a vegetarian.
I didn't get all the way to the top of the food chain....
Three skunks fighting over a pickle.
What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
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