i wish i had never found out
that what i perceived as you
was merely a shadow
dancing on the wall in front of me
as i pulled the chains closer around myself
taking comfort in their cold security.
and even after i had been
torn from everything i knew of you
and dragged, dazzled and blinking, into the sunlight
to discover that my conceptions had been wrong all along
even after all that
i still desired to be back in the dark
ignorant but happy.

so i tried to return
i wrapped the chains around myself again,
locked myself into my old surroundings,
and tried to close my mind and think the same thoughts i once had
but i could not do it
after being exposed to the true light, i could never return to darkness
i wish i had never found out
i wish i had never ascended