SING A SONG OF SIXPENCE

Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of rye, four and twenty

blackbirds baked in a pie, when the pie was opened the birds

began to sing. (Yuk! Feathers and all. I'd fire the cook. Not only

didn't he clean the birds, he obviously didn't turn the oven on.)

Wasn't that a dainty dish to set before a king? (Dainty?-sounds

more like a Hitchcock movie.) The king was in his counting house,

counting out his money. The queen was in the parlor eating bread

and honey. The maid was in the garden hanging out the clothes

when down comes a blackbird and pecks off her nose. (It still

sounds like a Hitchcock movie.)

MORAL: Clothes dryers are a good investment.

JACK BE NIMBLE

Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. Jack jump over the candlestick.

(No! You could get burned, set your clothes on fire, or possibly burn

down the house. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.)

MORAL: Do not play with fire.

BAA BAA BLACK SHEEP

Baa, baa, black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir,

three bags full.One for my master, one for my dame, and one

for the little boy who lives in the lane. (That's a lot of wool.)

MORAL: Good work producers get to have

a fighter squadron named after them.

DIDDLE DIDDLE DUMPLING

Diddle, diddle, dumpling, my son John,went to bed

with his pants on. One shoe off, one shoe on.

Didddle, diddle dumpling, my son John.

(Not only did John forget to get undressed properly,

he forget to brush his teeth.)

MORAL: Early to bed does not necessarily make you wise.

A DILLAR A DOLLAR

A dillar, a dollar, a ten o'clock scholar, what makes you

come so soon. (Soon? Of course it depends what grade you

are in, but school either starts at 7:30 or 8:30.) You used to

come at ten o'clock, and now you come at noon. (Don't they call

that playing hookey? Or is it skipping class? I'm not sure.)

MORAL: A good alarm clock is an asset. A wrist watch

is nice too.

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB

Mary had a little lamb. It's fleece was white as snow.

And everywhere that Mary went the lamb was sure to go.

( It must haved loved her to follow her like that.)

It followed her to school one day, which was against the rule.

It made the children laugh at play to see a lamb at school.

(But it probably perplexed the teacher.)

MORAL: An act of kindness follows you.

HEY DIDDLE DIDDLE

Hey! Diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped

over the moon. (Yeah, right! And the moon was made of green

cheese too!) The little dog laughed to see such sport. ( A laughing

dog? Must be a new mascot for a football team.) While the dish

ran away with the spoon. (Someone's excuse for broken dishes

and missing silverware?)

MORAL: Don't pay attention to anything anyone says when

they start the sentence with "Hey!".

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