Why do i feel like i am thrusting You into something that You are not prepared for?
Why do i feel like there is nothing i am doing right?
Why do i feel like i am not strong, that i am weak and so small?
Why have i always been able to control my own life, and now it has spun out of control?
Where are You now?
Why do i feel like You could never love me the way i love You?
Why do i feel like i am stealing Your life long dreams away from You?
Why do i feel like You are so reluctant about U/us?
Why do i feel distance?
Where are You now?
Why do i need to kneel?
Why must i look to You for guidance, protection, and comfort?
Why do i trust so deeply?
Why do i need You?
Why do i feel like You would be better off without my trivial problems?
Why do i feel abandoned?
Why can't i just walk away from all this?
Why won’t the tears stop falling?
Where are You now?
Why am i alone?
Where are You now?
~ krystynn 
Master Ethan's answer:
I am here, My girl. I’ve been here the whole time.
you’re all alone now, that you need Me the most, because you pushed when you should have clung.
This morning I told you that we may not have expected this, and we might not even be as prepared as we would like to be – but it is what life is dealing us. Do we take it, or wait for a perfect situation that may never come? I quoted My sister. If you need to leave Italy in any case, and we want to give each other any sort of a chance… you should really be coming here. It’s now or never.
you feel like you are doing nothing right because you take criticism to heart, but not compliments. It’s not good for you. It’s going to leave you with a feeling of hurt. Three times I criticized you during the eight days you were here. One was a punishment for all the times you’ve tried to run since I last met you. The second was a training exercise, to try to prevent those situations from happening again. The last was the last night, when the stress in your body had taken over and you didn’t feel like the kristyn I know. The rest of the time, I had nothing but compliments for you.
you need to kneel for the same reason you need Me, and the same reason you look to Me for guidance, protection, and comfort. It is your place to kneel in front of the Master you love. It is who you are, My slave. you’ve found your guidance, protection, and comfort in Me, and you feel that inside, though sometimes you won’t lower your body to receive it. you trust so deeply from experience.
you’re alone, and feel abandoned, because you just turned your back on the Man you love, and told Him it would probably be a few months before you sent Him a funny forward.
The tears wont stop falling because your heart is calling to you. you can’t walk away because you love Me. I am here, My girl.I’ve been here the whole time. |
Poems