EPISODE ONE – GET THE LEAD OUT

 

INT. RED STAR OFFICE

 

The Red Star office is a musty place with paperwork arranged untidily on number of desks, mostly unused. Seated behind two of the desks, both of them speaking on the phone, are Elli and Hagen. Elli speaks without consulting any papers, occasionally tapping a few keys on her computer. Hagen meanwhile stutters and sorts through mountains of documents before making tentative comments

 

Hagen: No, sorry Mr Gout, but for that sort of work, I’m afraid we, ah, we cannot take under $200,000.

 

Elli: Do we have an agreement then? (Pause) OK, good. I’ll fax you a copy of the contract.

 

 

INT. RED STAR TRAINING ROOM

 

A powerfully built middle-aged man with dark, greasy hair, exercises performing martial arts drills using a katana. He slashes clean down the camera with a war cry.

 

 

TITLE CARD: GET THE LEAD OUT

 

 

INT. RED STAR TRAINING ROOM

 

The man pauses and swivels around. Elli enters the room with a cup of coffee and a file folder.

 

Valentine: Thank you, Elli.

 

He takes the cup and sits down.

 

Elli: No problem, Mr Valentine. Here, we have a priority number one.

 

Valentine: A violent criminal on the run from his syndicate after blowing away the entire top brass?

 

Elli (giggles): You know we rarely get anything big like that. No, it’s only priority number one because our client does not wish this man to fall into police hands. He is not the most… restrained person.

 

Valentine: Let me see.

 

Valentine takes the folder

 

Valentine: Jeff Kozlec, a.k.a. Master C. Delivers drug shipments from Amihama to the syndicate dealers in the city. Made off with the last shipment estimated worth $2 million. Wow, our ‘friends’ are sure getting careless these days. What’s the reward?

 

Elli: $250,000.

 

Valentine: Acceptable. Ok, Elli, go and find Matthew and Nicholas.

 

Valentine puts on his jacket and selects two pistols from his armoury.

 

 

INT. RED STAR OFFICE

 

Remington and Armside are now seated at another two desks, waiting for Valentine.

 

Hagen: So Mr Remington, going out on a job, huh? Going after anything good? Does it require a hit? Blam! Blam!

 

Remington: Shut up, fool.

 

Hagen: Sorry.

 

Valentine enters.

 

Valentine: OK, Remington, Armside, let’s go.

 

Hagen waves them off as they leave while Elli ignores them and continues with her regular work.

 

 

EXT. STREETS

 

The men proceed down the street.

 

Valentine: Did Elli brief you two?

 

Armside: Of course she did.

 

Valentine: Ok. There’s a bonus on this if it’s finished fast, so Remington, State Plaza. Armside, for you it’s the Heights.

 

Armside: The slums? Why do I always have to check the slums? I want to be able to sit in a nice bar fishing for clues for once rather than the rutting shit heap excuses for pubs that-

 

Remington: Ah, shut yer trap already.

 

Armside: Where are you going, Marco?

 

Valentine: I am going to sit in a nice bar, fishing for clues.

 

They come up to a sleek dark green Jaguar XJ in the street. Valentine gets in.

 

Armside: Hey, cut me a break, I helped you find this little piece of heaven, didn’t I?

 

Valentine: I’ve already had to have the pump, radiator and g-valve on this big cat repaired. Its mutton dressed as lamb.

 

Armside grunts dejectedly.

 

Armside: Later, old man.

 

Valentine drives off.

 

 

INT. VALENTINE’S CAR

 

Valentine looks out as he pulls up towards the kerb. His vision focuses on a bar named The Blue Lagoon. A few guys in suits walk by.

 

 

INT. BLUE LAGOON

 

Bartender: Marco! Usual?

 

Valentine: Yo, Vahe. You got it.

 

Vahe grabs a bottle of malt scotch from under the counter, and pours it in a glass and slides it over to Valentine.

 

Vahe: Today is a happy day for me.

 

Valentine: Oh yeah? How come?

 

Vahe: The Blue Mariners won the league again.

 

Valentine: Ah, soccer.

 

Vahe (chuckles): Don’t look so down. I’m sure your Red Devils will be competing for honours again next time… only to be trumped again.

 

Valentine (smirks): Don’t be so sure, Vahe. A lot can happen in thirty games.

 

Vahe busies himself pouring drinks for other patrons of the bar.

 

Vahe: But anyway, as I was saying. Today is a glorious day… So information is free.

 

Valentine: An old mate like you shouldn’t be charging.

 

Valentine passes a photo over to Vahe, face down.

 

Vahe: Hm, I think I would’ve remembered if a guy this nerdy looking came sniffing around in here.

 

Valentine: Jeff Kozlec, Master C. He runs drugs from the Harbour, may be trying to push them in the city.

 

Vahe: Master C, eh? I did hear something about that.

 

Valentine takes a slug from his glass.

 

Vahe: Oh yeah, that’s it. Master C was around the Heights trying to sell bags of orpheus.

 

Valentine: Thanks.

 

Valentine gets up to leave.

 

Vahe: Hey, hey now. You don’t have any gossip for me?

 

Valentine: I thought today was a special offer freebie.

 

Vahe: What’s a little gossip among friends now, eh?

 

Valentine laughs a little and makes his exit. As he goes through the doors, he seems to think of something.

 

Valentine: Ah, gossip. Our young buck Dan Hagen is still single.

 

Valentine winks conspiratorially.

 

Vahe: Ah piss off, hijo de puta!

 

Valentine shuts the door behind him.

 

 

INT. VALENTINE’S CAR

 

Valentine uses his car speakerphone to call Armside.

 

Armside (V.O.): Yo.

 

Valentine: He’s in your area.

 

Armside: I know, there’s already a trail of angry mobsters and junkies trailing him.

 

Valentine: What? I thought this was supposed to be a private contract.

 

Armside: Whoever told you that is… well, wrong.

 

Valentine starts his car.

 

Armside: I guess they’re out in force because they know that if the law catches him, he will do everything in his power to take as many people as possible down with him.

 

Valentine: I imagine he’s the kind of guy I would have loved to catch ten years ago.

 

Armside: Probably. Anyway, he’s been making a real nuisance of himself. Is he required alive or dead?

 

Valentine: It all depends on recovery of the drugs he is transporting.

 

Armside: I see. I just ask because just hearing about him makes me want to shoot him.

 

Valentine: I’m coming down there. I’ll send Remington too.

 

Valentine rings off and drives through the falling rain.

 

 

EXT. THE HEIGHTS

 

The Heights bears a striking resemblance to Sector 7 Midgar. Needless to say, it’s not exactly a sanitary area.

 

Armside exits a bar named “Seventh Heaven”. Valentine’s car pulls up in front.

 

Armside: Apparently, he already got caught.

 

Valentine: What? By who?

 

Armside: Cowboys.

 

Remington pulls up on his motorcycle.

 

Remington: Good evening, gentlemen.

 

Valentine: We’re going home I guess.

 

Remington: I just got here and you’re going home? What’s going on?

 

Armside: Cowboys got him.

 

Remington: What? So you’re just gonna let them drag him in while we the professionals who got handed this contract go home empty handed?

 

Valentine: It’s only a $250k reward. I have more than ten times that in one bank account alone. What are we gonna do? Get in a gunfight with a bunch of drunken rangers so we can lay our hands on some yappy bastard dumb enough to let such a thing happen to him? Actually, now that I put it like that…

 

Armside: There’s no need for us to go risking ourselves for no good reason.

 

Valentine: Yeah, I suppose you’re right. Killjoy.

 

Armside has a “Who, Me!?” look on his face.

 

Remington: All the same….

 

Valentine: Buzz off home, Nick. Matt, I’ll give you a lift. Just wait for me; I need to use the facilities.

 

 

INT. SEVENTH HEAVEN BATHROOM

 

Valentine is washing his hands when he notices a rucksack behind the sink. Curious, he looks around to make sure he’s alone and grabs the bag. He opens it up and finds…

 

Valentine: Bags of orpheus

 

He looks at the nametag on the zip. It says “Jeff Kozlec”.

 

Valentine: What an idiot this guy is. (Pause) Hold on…

 

Suddenly, Armside calls Valentine’s name from outside. Valentine runs for the door.

 

 

EXT. THE HEIGHTS

 

Valentine and Armside jump in Valentine’s car.

 

Armside: He went running down that way! Alone! So we can still get it.

 

Valentine: Ok!

 

He starts the car and goes racing on. They find him quickly, a nerdy looking guy with spectacles and centre parted hair, who gets spooked when he notices the car closing in on him. Sinister smiles form on Valentine’s and Armside’s faces. Suddenly, the car stalls and sputters to a halt.

Valentine makes an angry face at Armside as Master C runs away.

 

Armside: It’s not my fault! It’s not my fault!

 

 

BREAK

 

 

INT. RED STAR OFFICE

 

Valentine is lounging around on the sofa.

 

Elli: The repair bill comes to $150,000.

 

Valentine: Really?

 

Elli hands him the invoice and goes to sit back at her desk.

 

Elli (smirks): No, but you can always tell Matt that to swindle him of his share.

 

Valentine (laughs): Woman.

 

Hagen: So, Mr Valentine, are you still going to go after this master criminal?

 

Valentine: Yeah. I have to return his bag to him.

 

Hagen: Can I come?

 

Valentine: No.

 

Hagen: Not even as a-

 

Valentine: No.

 

Elli: Easy, tiger, you’ve only been here a week.

 

Hagen: Yeah…

 

Her phone rings and she picks it up swiftly.

 

Elli: Good morning, Red Star Enterprise. (Pause) Oh, hi. (Pause) Yeah. (Pause) Yeah.

(Pause) Ok. Bye!

 

She hangs up.

 

Elli: Marco, that was Armside. He picked up the trail in Piyoko.

 

Valentine: Meh. What do I even care?

 

Elli: You think he’ll cope fine without you?

 

Valentine sighs and rolls upright.

 

Valentine: Mr Eager Beaver, may I borrow your car?

 

Elli (whispers): He means you.

 

Hagen: Oh! Yeah, sure!

 

He throws Valentine his keys.

 

Valentine: See you.

 

 

EXT. PIYOKO

 

Piyoko is another slum like area, similar to the Heights. Armside waits on the corner as Valentine pulls up.

 

Armside: Elli said that the repair bill for the Jag is $200k??

 

Valentine: I wonder where I will get that money from, “Expert”.

 

Armside: Hey now, the dealer is a trusted friend of mine, we go way back. It’s not my fault; you should go and shake him up, not me.

 

Valentine: Forget it. Where to?

 

Armside: Remington saw him outside the Spar bothering passers-by. He said he would pick him up and meet us in the Queen’s Head.

 

 

INT. QUEENS’S HEAD PUB

 

Armside and Valentine enter. Contrary to the run down area it is situated in, the Queen’s Head is a real nice pub, well-lit, clean mahogany furniture, with pool tables, Aerosmith scarves hanging from the rafters and Aerosmith playing on the speakers.

 

Armside: There.

 

Remington is sitting at a table in the corner with Master C. Armside ambles up and greets Remington warmly.

 

Remington: Hey, I’m so glad you’re here. Master C here has been telling me… his life story.

 

Master C speaks with a pitch one would normally attribute to a pre-pubescent boy.

 

Master C: Hi there, I didn’t quite catch your name. (Armside opens his mouth) I’m Master C, a hardcore mutha. Listen up, your suit is looking a little tatty. But don’t worry, I know some people who can fix that right up. Maybe even get you a new one. Listen, I want to show you my glasses. Isn’t it great? The lenses are photo sensitive, so when its really bright, the lens becomes dark like a pair of sunglasses, but when it is darker, it becomes transparent so you can see better. Isn’t that great? I got them last year when I went to visit the Government convention in Yokohama. Not that I really like them very much, especially our asshole President Shadowhite. He makes all those promises and none of them ever get redeemed? It’s because he’s foreign. I think Jorg Bosch would do a much better job. I mean we didn’t even elect these people. You know they fiddled the vote? Common knowledge. Folks like me wouldn’t have to exist if they would do their jobs properly. And-

 

Armside (mutters): That’s a nice dream.

 

 

EXT. QUEEN’S HEAD

 

Several gunmen loiter outside, preparing their shotguns and automatic rifles.

 

 

INT. QUEEN’S HEAD

 

Master C: …but that’s all I really have to say about that.

 

Remington: Thank the Lord.

 

Master C: Now, I understand one of you found my bag for me?

 

Armside: That we did.

 

Remington: And you can have it back.

 

Valentine: If you’re willing to come along quietly with us, that is.

 

Master C (sighs): I suspected that this would happen… so I have a little surprise for you. (Starts to shout) And that is-

 

Suddenly, the doors of the pub burst open and the gunmen enter and open fire.

 

Valentine: Holy shit!

 

The four of them dive under the table.

 

Armside: Cowboys!

 

Valentine: This is your surprise?

 

Master C: No! I was going to use a smoke grenade!

 

Valentine: Give one to me.

 

Master C: What?

 

Valentine: Give one to me! Or I guarantee that you will get the shit shot out of you, and it could very well be me who does it!!

 

Master C hands Valentine a smoke grenade. Valentine pulls the pin and throws it into the room, filling it with thick smoke. Valentine, Armside and Remington leap up, guns drawn and fire on the cowboys. Valentine takes out one, Armside another, Remington a third. Seeing his opportunity, Master C scuttles out and heads for the back door. Valentine guns down the last of the cowboys.

 

Remington: Idiots! Interfering with the work of professionals.

 

Armside: Shit! He’s gone!

 

 

EXT. PIYOKO

 

Master C makes a dash for freedom, but the three gunmen exit the smouldering building and spy him.

 

Armside: There!

 

The chase is on.

 

Remington: Say, Valentine, what was the policy again? Dead or, God forbid, alive?

 

Valentine: The most important thing is recovery of the drugs. If we have them, then it doesn’t matter if he remains alive or dead.

 

Remington: So I can shoot the fool dead if I want?

 

Valentine: Seems tasteless.

 

Remington: Don’t give me tasteless! I was waiting in there for you two for three goddamn hours! Listening to him babble on about Jorg Bosch, rap music and the evils of communism! I’ve regressed to a state of primal lust!!

 

They reach a maze of housing developments.

 

Valentine: Armside! Go Left! I’ll take the right, Remington, keep on ahead.

 

A montage of scenes with voice over where they all run along, pushing past people as Master C runs for it. He hits the end of the road as Armside approaches from one side, Valentine from the other and Remington from behind all with their guns readied and aimed.

 

Valentine (V.O.): Remington wanted to shoot, to kill. But we’re not animals. Even if Master C did annoy the crap out of him for three hours, even if he annoyed the crap out of me and stole half an hour of my life I’ll never get back, the past is the past. Look to the future.

 

Master C: Hey! Now look here! My father is a-

 

Valentine (V.O.): Oh who am I kidding! Die, you bastard!

 

All three fire simultaneously. Master C drops to the ground. They go over to examine their catch.

 

Valentine: So, we all went for the hand on purpose, right?

 

Remington: Well, we’re professionals.

 

Armside: And, it’s dark, the visibility is very poor.

 

Valentine: Well, I guess Jeff here will be having fun with his boss.

 

Remington: Give me his wallet.

 

Valentine: Another one for your collection?

 

Valentine reaches into Master C’s pocket and hands it to Remington.

 

Remington: Eh, plain jane design. Should’ve guessed.

 

All the same, he pockets it. Valentine cuffs Master C to Armside and they all stand up.

 

Valentine: I’ll pay my own repair bills, Matt. Your punishment is to escort him back to our associates.

 

Armside: Hey now! Come on! What did I do to deserve this? Argh, you guys!

 

Master C: Hello, new friend! (Coughs a whole lot)

 

Remington and Valentine laugh and walk off.

 

Armside: Ah…

 

They walk off. Armside lights himself a cigarette and looks up, then down at Jeff, who is crying a little.

 

Armside: What’s the matter with you?

 

Master C: Whaddya think! You all shot me in the hand! It’s a mess! I’ll never… (Babbles on and on)

 

Armside: Shut up already!

 

END – DO YOU LIKE GOOD BOOGIE?

 

 

Episode Two preview

Valentine: People say that your teenage tears are the best of your life, and the older you get, the more it seems that way. But for teenagers themselves, it’s the Dark Age, a time they cannot imagine things being any worse. Well… most of them at least. Next episode, Rag Doll.