EPISODE TWO – RAG DOLL

INT. GIRL’S BEDROOM

The camera moves over a digital clock, which makes the time out to be 3am. Next to it is a photo of Elli petting her dog, and further over is the bed. On one side, Elli sleeps soundly, on the other Valentine dresses himself and leaves the house.

EXT. STREET

It’s the dead of night, and flickering streetlight aside, everything is quiet as Valentine walks to his car, lighting a cigarette. He fumbles with his matches and drops them.

Valentine: Damn.

He bends down to pick them up and when he looks up, a teenage girl has come hurtling round the corner on a skateboard.

Valentine & Girl (simultaneously): Shit!

They collide and are both knocked flat out on the floor. Footsteps approach. The girl gathers herself and prepares to run.

Girl: Sorry!

She scarpers real quickly. A tall man in a trench coat comes after her, gun drawn and firing. Valentine looks on bemusedly.

TITLE CARD: RAG DOLL

INT. RED STAR OFFICE

Valentine is sitting on a desk chatting with Remington.

Valentine: Then bam! (Claps hands together) Out of nowhere comes this little innocent looking girl barrelling over me, we both hit the deck. Then she runs off and round the corner after her comes this federal officer type person, shooting at her. And when I stand up, oh guess what. My wallet is missing.

Remington: Nice wallet?

Valentine: Real nice. And you know, I didn’t have much of real value in it, but it’s not the point, it’s the principle. I want it back.

Remington: What were you even doing in Dobuita at 3 in the morning, man? You know that’s when all the bad elements are out for playtime.

Valentine: That’s not important. What is important is I find that little thief! And then… (Ponders) Not rightly sure. Retrieval is a delicate art.

Elli: Marco, don’t forget you have that license renewal meeting today.

Valentine: Ah that’s right. Those bastards have probably jacked up the fees again.

Valentine gets to his feet and stretches out like a cat.

Hagen: License renewal? Who with? What for?

EXT. ROY’S PALACE

In a land of sparkling structures and work of art constructions, Valentine’s car pulls up outside the tallest, glitziest building on the strip.

Valentine (V.O.): Roy’s Palace. A license to operate and carry firearms. See, they don’t even let the Government interfere in their playground it’s completely private. It’s almost like visiting a different planet. In fact, you have to present your International ID at the gates.

Valentine is dressed smartly with his hair slicked back and rides the elevator to the top floor.

Valentine (V.O.): Criminal records you acquire in this world mean nothing in Roy’s Palace, so it’s a safe haven for bandits on the run from the law, bounty hunters or replacement killers. Normally, their internal police will take care of any instances of lawbreaking within the complex.

A uniformed man with a nametag that reads “Eden” gets on the lift and eyeballs Valentine who stands stoically ignoring him.

Valentine (V.O.): They don’t appreciate outside interference, and they don’t allow outside influences to come in and resolve conflicts that belong in Roy’s Palace. But in our line of work, that’s often necessary.

The elevator reaches the top floor. They both get off and walk in opposite directions.

Valentine (V.O.): And so every so often, I have to go visit the top brass and pay my respects.

He comes to a door marked “Deim” and knocks on it.

Deim (O.S.): Enter.

INT. DEIM’S OFFICE

The nameplate on the desk reads “Stephane Deim” and behind the desk sits a businessman who really does look every inch a businessman, right down to the sinister goatee beard that’s so invaluable in the business world.

The office however is extremely lush and almost playful, from Aerosmith posters to numerous pachinko machines lining the walls.

Deim: The world of business is harsh, my friend, and recently it has been very tough on us. The power divide has really created a gulf, which has affected us very badly. People who want to come and visit us here at Roy’s Palace don’t have the money, as they are all jobless and living in the slums. Well, we don’t need people like that here, I’m sure you can understand my position on the matter, no?

Valentine sits on the other side of the table, nodding in agreement.

Deim: People who can afford the entertainments we provide are too busy working in order to maintain their wealth. It is a vicious circle of greed, which leaves me in a very difficult position. I really do believe we have an important and very special establishment here and I wish to keep it running on all cylinders. However, I simply cannot afford to. Of course however, there are always solutions.

Valentine: How much do you want?

Deim: Not so fast, my honoured guest. When you came to us all those years ago asking our help, we were only too glad to present a trustworthy idol like yourself an exclusive license. But times change. Your star has waned and as I said, times are hard. So even though I will allow you to continue to operate on our land, and even for a lesser fee than usual, your license will no longer be exclusive. You’ll have to compete with other cowboys like yourselves.

Valentine: I’m a professional. And need I remind you how much of my own personal fortune I have-

Deim interrupts. As he speaks, images flash by of smouldering piles of rubble.

Deim: The Larkin Complex, Garden Square and Cornwell Mansion beg to differ.

Valentine: Hey now, I thought we already agreed those were accidents.

Deim: Sorry Valentine, but that’s business.

Valentine: Fee?

Deim: $1,200,000 for the year.

Valentine: Normally I’d stay and quibble but I got other stuff to do.

Valentine gets to his feet and cracks his knuckles out.

Deim: Hey.

Deim throws a Polaroid picture at Valentine.

Deim: If you find that girl and bring her here, I’ll give you a 50% discount.

Valentine studies the picture – it’s the same girl who robbed him.

INT. RED STAR OFFICE

Hagen: Hey she looks kinda like Armside-sama, doesn’t she?

Armside: You’re deeply mistaken. I’m neither female nor blonde.

Hagen: I mean the face.

Valentine: Seems like Deim got pick pocketed by this little she-devil as well. He got caught out in his own building, can you believe it. Anyway, she won’t have gone back to Roy’s Palace recently or she’d have been caught out, so I think we will do better tracking her down in this city. It seems she likes the dead of the night, so if we hang around and scan mobile phone signals, she’s bound to turn up eventually.

Remington: Then what?

Valentine: Then… I guess I’ll flick her ear or something. I don’t know! Hey, don’t worry. I’ll think of something before we get her. We should check out Dobuita first, she might reappear there again tonight.

Armside: What were you doing there at the dead of night, anyway? Yo! Hey now, you better not be breaking our Sad Men’s Club pact!

Valentine: I already broke it years ago. So did Nick.

Remington: Hey!

Armside: Say what! (Shakes fist) Y’all been getting some while I here have stayed true to the spirit and abstained from the source of all our sorrow!?

Remington and Valentine look at Armside, boring holes in his soul.

Armside: Yeah, yeah, I broke it a long time ago too.

Remington takes the photo from Hagen.

Valentine: So, Dobuita at nightfall?

Remington: You know, she does kinda look like you, Matt.

Valentine: She’s a thief like him too. It must be fate!

Armside: Give me that! (Snatches photo) I really don’t see the resemblance.

Valentine stands up.

Valentine: I’m gonna go and waste some petrol, you guys go and set up the tracker.

EXT. RED STAR OFFICE

Valentine lights up and puffs away as he walks to his car. A tall man in a long coat with a hat pulled down harshly to cover his face in shadow sits on a bench and watches intently as Valentine drives away. Then he stands up and gets into his own car, a black Audi, and drives away, in the same direction as Valentine.

EXT. PETROL STATION

Valentine is filling up his car and humming a melody quietly. The black Audi pulls up near him.

Valentine (sings): You can’t take the sky from me.

Valentine walks over to the restroom. The man follows him in.

INT. RESTROOM

The man enters. Valentine springs, locking the guy round the head. A knife appears in his hand almost like magic and he puts it to the guy’s throat. His hat falls off, revealing long hair pulled back in a ponytail and a trimmed beard.

Valentine (whispers): Why the hell are you following me?

Guy (strangled): Valentine, shit! Calm down! Get off me!

Valentine: Why! Answer me!

Guy: Easy now, I’m a cop! I’m not really following you! Well, I am, but it’s the girl I’m after! Her name is Lydia!

Valentine releases him.

Valentine: Cop?

Guy: Well, I guess an elite cop. MAD corps. The name is Cromwell.

Cromwell offers his hand to Valentine. Valentine ignores him.

Valentine: I have my own business with her, and I don’t need you government goons interfering.

Cromwell: She’s a threat to national security! Are you even listening?

Valentine: She’s a little girl. Cut your hair, its weight is making your skull collapse into your brain.

Valentine exits.

BREAK

EXT. DOBUITA NIGHT

An innocuous white van sits by the roadside. Of course, innocuous white vans are never innocuous though, and indeed, inside are Valentine and Armside (Both sitting in the front looking bored) and also Remington, fiddling with the array of monitors and devices in the back.

Valentine: Yo, Nick, still nothing?

Remington grunts "No"

Valentine checks his watch.

Valentine: Four AM. I think we might call it a night soon.

The machine emits a beeping sound.

Remington: Don’t bother turning around. Kenneth Wong, male, 23 years of age.

Valentine: You mean this one actually carries a card?

Remington: Unbelievable, but true.

Valentine slumps a little more. A soft snoring starts beside him. Valentine turns around and notices that Armside has fallen asleep.

Valentine: Oi.

Valentine nudges Armside. Just then, a kid zips by on a skateboard.

Valentine: Can’t be…

Armside: Eh? What?

The kid looks back. It’s Lydia.

Valentine: Ah! Dammit! Let’s go!!

Valentine starts the van, which roars to life in pursuit of the young girl, who quickens her pace.

Remington: Hey! Hey! What’s goin’ on! She hasn’t shown up yet!

Valentine: She’s right there!

The van catches up to Lydia.

Valentine: Matt, get out and chase her on foot, I’ll cut her off at the corner.

Armside: What!? Are you actually asking me to jump out of this van in which you’re doing a hundred easy? Hell no! In fact-

Valentine has released the electronic catch on the door and he shoves Armside out on to the street.

Armside: Gah!

Armside rolls over a few times, then picks himself and runs. Lydia starts to ease round the corner, but Remington jumps off the back of the van ahead of her, blocking her path and making her swerve into the wall, resulting in:

Lydia: Gyah!

Lydia hits the floor, clutching her leg and yelling in pain. Valentine stops the van and leaps out. Armside and Remington close in on the girl.

Lydia: You guys had better not be thinking weird thoughts.

INT. TRUCK

Lydia is seated between Armside and Valentine in the front, handcuffed to the beverage holder. Valentine drives.

Lydia: Hey so why don’t you guys say anything? What’s up with that? Come on, if you’re gonna drag me away and do God knows what to me, at least have the decency to tell me where we’re going. Dirty old men!

Valentine and Armside grit their teeth. Lydia looks hard at Valentine.

Lydia: You look kinda familiar, you know. Where have I seen you before?

Valentine: You robbed me yesterday, you little brat.

Lydia: That was you! Oh, I’m so sorry! I tell you what, I’ll return whatever it was I stole from you, and you let me go, all right?

Armside: Sorry kid, but there are other people who want to see you too.

Lydia: Like?

Valentine: You’ll see tomorrow.

Armside: Hey, so where is she gonna stay tonight?

Valentine: I sure as hell ain’t taking her.

Remington: You're obviously kidding to be looking at me.

Armside: Hey! Now don’t dump on me!

Valentine: You drew the short straw there, man.

Armside: What straw? I always get dumped on! This isn’t fair!

Lydia: Are you my new daddy?

Armside: Hey, Valentine! Come on, why is it always me who-

Lydia: Valentine? Yeah! I know now! You were on that television programme weren’t you? “Real Agents”

Short pause

Valentine: That show ended its run fifteen years ago, half-pint. How do you remember it?

Lydia: My father had every episode recorded on disk and we would always watch them back when he home-tutored us. Wow, cool. Who would’ve thought my childhood hero would turn out to be a pervert?

Valentine: What now? Hey! What do you think is going on here? Listen. In the morning, you’ll be going to Roy’s Palace to have a little meeting with some other poor sod you’ve ripped off, and he won’t be half as merciful as me! All I’m making you do is sleeping In Armside’s dump of a house. Although, actually, that’s pretty harsh.

Lydia: But-

Valentine: We can talk about it tomorrow. This is your stop.

The van pulls up outside Armside’s apartment.

INT. RED STAR OFFICE, MORNING

Elli: Here’s a cup of coffee for you sweetie.

Elli hands Lydia (handcuffed to Armside) a mug.

Valentine: What’re you being so nice to her for, Elli? She still hasn’t returned my wallet to me.

Lydia: I don’t have it with me! I’ll get it for you if you let me go home.

She bats eyelids.

Valentine: Save it for someone who cares.

Remington enters

Remington: Yo, buddies!

People raise their hands in salute.

Remington: Ah, little miss trouble is here with us.

Valentine: Yeah. Hey! (Swivels his chair round) What are you doing carrying a fake ID sensor anyway? You’re not going to be mistaken for a guy, unless there’s something I’m missing.

Lydia: You’d be surprised how much it helps holding a male ID card.

Valentine: Hardly. What about that MAD agent chasing you? What the heck did you do to get one of those after you?

Lydia: …It’s just a game.

Armside: Game? What?

Lydia: It’s his week’s holiday and we are just having fun by having him chase me. He’s a friend of mine!

Valentine: What kind of sick weirdo gets his jollies chasing a young girl across the city on his week off?

Elli: Deim is expecting you anytime this afternoon, Valentine.

Valentine: Thanks, Elli. (Stands up) Hey, let’s get going now and get this over with.

INT. ELEVATOR ROY’S PALACE

Lydia: So what is this guy gonna do or say.

Valentine: Flick your ear, maybe. I don’t know.

Lydia: Does he seem like the kind of person who is into torture?

Valentine: Most businessmen are.

Lydia: So on your show, did you ever kill anyone for real?

Valentine: On the show? No. A lot of things were staged for the cameras, in truth.

Lydia: Are you still in contact with any of the other people on force? Rosso, Peacock, Benitez?

Valentine: No. Truthfully, in real life, they’re all gigantic assholes.

Lydia: Like you?

Valentine: Exactly like me.

The elevator doors open. Down the other end of the hall in front of the other elevator is Cromwell. He starts to turn around.

Lydia: Shit! No! No! We have to go back down!

She slams the buttons until the doors close, but Cromwell has spotted them and raised his arm.

Valentine: The game?

A loud thud sounds on the closed doors.

Valentine: Was that a bullet!?

Lydia: I just have to survive today, and he will be back at work and will have forgotten about me. Valentine! You have to help me!

Valentine: What? Why should I do anything for you?

Lydia: Well, because if I get caught, you won’t get your wallet back!

Valentine: Damn… well I guess you’re right.

Lydia: Thank you!

Lydia hugs Valentine.

Valentine: Get off! Okay we don’t want to go all the way down to the bottom because he will anticipate that.

Valentine slams the emergency stop button. The doors open and they exit and run for the stairs, where they run into Cromwell, who swivels and starts shooting. Valentine dives to the side and shoots back.

Valentine: Lydia! Run down! I’ll meet you at the bottom!

Lydia runs while Valentine provides cover fire.

Lydia: You want to get out of here as fast as you can because I have a little surprise for this building.

Valentine: Surprise?

Valentine dodges bullets and fires back, hitting Cromwell in the leg. He runs up and engages in close combat, kicking Cromwell’s gun away, and then smacking him in the face. He levels his gun at Cromwell’s head.

Cromwell: You don’t want to do that to a federal officer.

Valentine pistol-whips Cromwell.

Valentine: Game’s over, piss of.

Valentine runs down the stairs.

EXT. ROY’S PALACE

Valentine: Lydia! Shit, where the hell did that little brat go.

Suddenly, a ring of explosions rock the building he was just in, shattering glass. Valentine looks on in disbelief.

Valentine: Lydia!

INT. RED STAR OFFICE

Elli: Deim sent an invoice for $2.4 million. Is that right?

Valentine (sighs): Yeah, that’s right. I’m just grateful no-one died up there. Otherwise I would have to pay even more.

Elli: Yeah, I can see how the money would’ve been your biggest concern in that situation.

Valentine: Everything’s not lost though.

Valentine takes Lydia’s false ID card from his pocket and winks.

END – HOT TRAMP, DADDY'S LITTLE CUTIE

Episode Three preview

Valentine: Whether they are searching for love, money, power, or friendship, all humans yearn for a place to belong. But what’s really annoying is that some people seem to think that place is in the close vicinity of me! Next episode, Make It.