EPISODE TEN – LICK AND A PROMISE

EXT. CITY AT NIGHT

A man in a broad rimmed hat leans against a wall singing softly.

// Now it's time
To say good night to you
And now it's time
To bid you sweet adieu

And baby, drink a cheers to yesterday
And maybe, you'll drink those tears away

So baby, don't let go
Hold on real tight //

A guy in a black coat with silver hair runs round the corner and past him yelling.

Silver Hair: Come on, let’s go!

The guy in the hat runs too. As they exit the screen, there’s a massive explosion and flames lick across the screen.

TITLE CARD: LICK AND A PROMISE

INT. RED STAR OFFICE

Elli and Hagen sit at their desks working. Lydia is at a terminal playing solitaire.

Lydia (V.O.): A division has appeared in the office recently. On one side are Elli and Hagen. On the other are Valentine and Armside. I haven’t seen Remington around, so I don’t know which side he has picked. But neither side talks to each other or even acknowledges the others presence.

Valentine exits the training room and walks very hard, very fast out of the room, slapping Elli’s pen holder off her desk.

Lydia (V.O.): Um, well, most of the time anyway. As for me, I get on well with both sides. ^_^ Valentine says he doesn’t want me hanging around him, but I know he does really because he always ruffles my hair when he says it. Come to think of it, I should get him to stop that, he’s messing up my style.

INT. VALENTINE’S CAR

Valentine tosses a bunch of files on the back seat of the car. Remington is in front. Valentine points at the files.

Valentine: All these people owe us money.

Remington: When are you gonna talk to Elli?

Valentine: I’ve said all I have to say. If it pleases her to behave like a little kid and not talk back, that’s her problem.

Valentine gets in the car.

Remington: No one is getting any work done because of this breakdown in communication. Come on, you gotta sort it out.

Valentine: Are you throwing in with me?

Remington: I suppose so. I feel a little guilty.

Valentine: About what?

Remington: About not being able to do more, I guess.

Valentine: If it gets too bad, I’ll hire new staff. Problem solved. And what the hell are you talking about; we do have work to do.

Remington: Collecting on unpaid invoices doesn’t count as work.

Valentine: Well, I have real work. An oldie but goodie.

Valentine starts the car and drives.

Valentine: I got handed this case when we first opened shop. This fellow, Hervé de Langlois, reputed to be a card carrying Blue Dragon member was supposed to have brokered a weapons deal between the syndicate and a small potatoes cartel looking to expand their territory. But he vanished, taking both the arms and the money with him. That was fifteen years ago. I didn’t pay it much attention back then because apart from everything else that was going on, and not wanting to get involved with Blue Dragon, there was no trace of this guy. Complete dead end.

Remington: But now.

Valentine: It’s only a loose lead, but I have a good feeling about it.

Remington: Ok then. It’s your call.

Valentine: So what’re you really feeling guilty about?

Remington: Eh?

Valentine: Come on, “Not being able to do more”? You never speak unless you really have something to say, so spill it.

Remington: I told Elli about that thing you had with that Carmen woman six months back.

Valentine jams on the brakes and the car screeches to a dead halt.

INT. PLYMOUTH

Sitting in a classic line Red Plymouth Fury, with an Aerosmith keychain hanging from the rear view mirror, are the two guys from the start. The silver guy drives. The guy with the hat has taken his hat off (He is bald) but retains sunglasses. (Wildly inappropriate considering it’s freezing cold and about to rain)

Orange: //And baby, drink a cheers to yesterday. And maybe, you'll drink those tears away//

Seth: What’s with that song? You’re always singing it.

Orange: I don’t know. Someone taught it to me one time. It’s an important song.

Seth: It’s an Aerosmith song.

Orange: You’re saying that’s not important?

Seth: No.

Orange hums as Seth drives on.

Orange: This isn’t the way to Exly Fort, Seth.

Seth: This is the short route. At least, it is according to the SatNav.

Orange: No, no, something’s not right.

Seth: I know what I’m doing!

INT. VALENTINE’S CAR

Valentine has his gun prodded in Remington’s eye.

Remington: Get off me.

Valentine is distracted by a dinging sound on the dashboard. Remington claws Valentine’s hand away and bites it, making him drop the gun. Valentine cuffs Remington hard under the eye, splitting the skin.

Valentine: Crazy son of a bitch!

Remington gives a look as if to say “Who, me?”

Valentine: Luckily for you, we have business to attend to.

Valentine gets the car going and it speeds down the road.

Valentine: I set a false map system signal and it is sending a car out way. We are looking for a red Plymouth, license number T51 M0N.

They stop at the lights. Naturally, the car they’re looking for passes.

Valentine: !!!

They follow in hot pursuit.

INT. SETH’S PLYMOUTH

Seth: Shit! Looks like we’ve picked up a tail!

EXT. STREETS

The Plymouth takes evasive manoeuvres, but can’t shake Valentine who is making up ground on corners. After a particularly sharp corner, the Jag draws level with the Plymouth.

INT. SETH’S PLYMOUTH

Seth looks out his window and sees the window of the Jag slide down, revealing Remington aiming his gun.

Seth: Shit!

Seth slams on the brakes. The bullet punctures the window, but misses both of them. Seth switches to reverse and swerves round, driving round the block, but on the other side, Valentine has anticipated their movement and the Jag is waiting.

INT. VALENTINE’S CAR

Valentine: Gotcha!

Machine gun shots pepper the hood and puncture two of the tyres, shutting the Jag out of commission.

Valentine: What the-!?

The Plymouth was also hit but down not appear to have taken serious damage and speeds away. A big, black luxury car (The kind you don’t normally see around here) gives chase.

Valentine: What the hell was that!!

INT. SETH’S PLYMOUTH

Seth: Now what!? (freakin’ out)

Orange: Only MAD agents drive those kinds of cars.

Seth grits his teeth.

BREAK

EXT. STREETS

Remington sits in Armside’s Buick. Armside pops open the Jaguar’s hood.

Armside: Nasty. (He pokes around in it) I’ll see what I can do.

Valentine walks over to Remington.

Valentine: So. What do you have to say for yourself?

Remington: You stuck a gun in my face.

Valentine: I can do worse. (Remington starts to say something, but Valentine charges on) From being the Perry to my Tyler, you’ve become the Judas to my Jesus. You stuck the knife in my back despite my benevolence much like the treacherous bastard Brutus did to Caesar. Woe, man! You’ve turned me over to Darth Vader to be frozen in carbonite.

Remington: Shut up, fool!

Valentine: Come on though, serious, what’s going on here? You are not a social animal; you never talk to anyone, that’s why I trust you with my deadly secrets. What made you spill, eh?

Remington: Ah… fine. I divulged some of your secrets, so I guess it’s alright to tell you one of hers, eh?

Valentine (broad smile): Now you’re getting it.

Remington: Just remember it’s a secret. You can’t tell her told you or even let her know that you know.

Valentine: I swear on my mother’s life I won’t be telling.

Remington: Well, you know how we go to the same Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.

Valentine: No?

Remington: Um, no?

Valentine: She goes to AA? She’s an alcoholic? What the hell? I have to talk to her about this right away!

Remington: What? But you just swore on your mother’s life you wouldn’t let her know that you know!

Valentine: Oh come on, what does that even mean? “On my mother’s life”? What are you gonna do, kill my mother?

Remington: Don’t confront her about it! It’s a very sensitive issue for her!

Valentine: I’ll do what I like! Man this is a shock. I need to calm down. (Lights up a cigarette)

Armside comes over.

Armside: No good, we gotta tow it to my workshop. I have parts there.

Valentine: Get Vahe to lend us his van.

Armside flips out his phone and walks off.

Valentine: You said “you know”.

Remington: Hm?

Valentine: Before telling me about AA. So whatever you were trying to tell me, it wasn’t that, was it?

Remington: No.

Valentine: So?

Remington: It’s not right, me telling you. Not after seeing how you reacted to the alcoholism. You hear it from her, that’s better. Talk to her, work through it together, all that kind of thing.

Valentine: She won’t talk to me, thanks to you.

Remington: Sorry. You know she had been feeling badly about the way she had treated you, and started telling me all these things. I just evened up the score, showed her she wasn’t the only one harbouring secrets, you know?

Armside walks back. Valentine drops the cigarette to the pavement and grinds it into the floor. Pensive looks all round. Suddenly-

Lydia: Good morning!

Lydia pops up on the back seat of the Buick. Startled, Remington jumps up and hits his head on the roof of the car.

Remington: Ow!

Valentine (vexed): How long have you been hiding there?

Lydia: I was asleep. ^_^ I just woke up.

Valentine looks at Armside.

Armside: Don’t look at me; I didn’t know she was there.

Valentine: Vahe?

Armside: Twenty minutes away.

Valentine grunts in acknowledgement and gets in the back, behind Remington.

Valentine: Get lost, you. (Ruffles Lydia’s hair)

Lydia (V.O.): I wasn’t really asleep, tee hee. I know what to do.

EXT. STREETS

Lydia is behind the corner on her cell phone. Armside, Remington and Valentine stand around smoking as Vahe attaches the tow line.

Vahe: Why do I have to this, you lazy bastards?

Armside: I got the scanners back out. de Langlois’s driver is pretty tricky. He lost the black car on Carver Street, and then slammed down in the opposite direction. They stopped outside Exly Fort about a quarter of an hour ago. If we hurry, we should be able to get there before they leave.

Lydia comes back.

Armside: We’ll take my car, come on.

Valentine’s phone rings.

Valentine (answers): Yeah. (pause) Oh, Hi. (pause) Yeah. Yeah, sure. (pause) No, no. I’ll come now. (hangs up) You guys go on ahead; I’m heading back to the office.

Armside: Why?

Valentine: Peace talks.

Lydia (V.O.): I rule!

Armside: Is that so?

Valentine: Get on with you.

Lydia follows Valentine as he hijacks Vahe’s van.

INT. RED STAR OFFICE

Valentine enters quietly, holding a bunch of chrysanthemums. He walks up softly but stops when he hears voices. He peers round the wall and sees what appears to Hagen molesting Elli.

Hagen: It’ll be ok.

Elli: Thanks.

Elli’s hand touches Hagen’s, which is on her neck. Valentine’s eyes narrow. He exits as quietly as he enters.

EXT. RED STAR OFFICE

Vahe is disengaging the Jag from the van. Lydia sits inside and watches as Valentine comes out and hurls the flowers on the ground.

Lydia (V.O.): Uh oh.

Valentine leaps up into the driver seat and angrily accelerates. Vahe runs after the departing van, yelling obscenities.

Lydia (V.O.): Damnit! I suck!

EXT. EXLY FORT

The van pulls up sharply. Armside’s Buick is parked nearby. As is the large black luxury car. Valentine jumps out, his gun drawn. He runs up and finds Armside.

Armside: They’re still in there. Not sure if we should go in.

Remington: That black car was already here.

Valentine charges in.

Armside: Wait!!

INT. EXLY FORT 6TH FLOOR

Valentine finds agents in a stand off with Seth and de Langlois.

Agent: For the last time, hand over the detonator.

Seth: Stay back! I’m not afraid to flick the switch! I’ll take you all with me! So if you want to live, you better leave!!

Valentine: Hervé de Langlois! I’m bringing you in!

Everyone turns and aims at Valentine.

Valentine: Bad idea!

Audley: Agents Audley and Talbot of MAD. This is federal government business and it would be best for you not to interfere.

Valentine: I’m just here for him. (points at bald guy) Hervé de Langlois. So back off, bitch.

Seth: But there’s no one here by that name.

Valentine: ??

Seth: I am Black.

Orange: I am Orange.

Seth: We are White Tigers. And once again, Marco Valentine, you are in our way!

Valentine: Oh, bloody hell!

Seth takes the spear strapped to his back, grounds it and pole vaults over to Valentine. He brings the spearhead down where Valentine stood. He twirls round and deflects Valentine’s punch. The agents meanwhile have started shooting. Orange whips out a heavy duty flamethrower and starts flaming the agents.

Valentine: Get out of my way, retard!

Valentine kicks Seth’s feet away and steps on his face. Talbot fires on him, but Valentine guns him down. Orange runs. Seth gets to his feet, groggily. Valentine fires wildly in Audley’s direction.

Seth: No, not there!

Valentine hits the bomb of course. It explodes, catching Audley. Seth runs and jumps out of the window. Valentine follows. Seth lands on his feet, a little winded, but fine, but Valentine hits the floor hard.

EXT. EXLY FORT

Seth gets up, looks over, fearfully at where Valentine lies. People run to help the fallen man. He glances up at the building on fire.

Orange: Come on, let’s go, let’s go!

VALENTINE’S P.O.V.

Armside: Valentine!

Lydia: Are you okay?

*Fade out*

END – FALLING IN LOVE IS SO HARD ON YOUR KNEES

Episode Eleven preview

Valentine: It all gets very confusing for me. Sometimes, I can’t cope and I get a little crazy. Especially when my existence as a body or a soul is in jeopardy. Changes must be made. Let’s just hope that at the end of the day, we all got a place where we can retreat and play. Next episode, we’re Movin’ Out. Goodbye.