*A drink a day keeps the shrink away. (Edward Abbey) *Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. (Dave Barry) *Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. (Dave Barry's Bad Habits, Dave Barry) *All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.  (Dave Barry) *When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer. (Postpetroleum Guzzler,Dave Barry) *People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.  (Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI) I remember when I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.   (Rodney Dangerfield) *If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.  (David Daye) *I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. (W.C. Fields) *A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. (W.C. Fields) *What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?  (W.C. Fields) *Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.  (David Moulton) *One more drink and I'd be under the host.  (Dorothy Parker) *When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.  (Henny Youngman)

Beer Quotes