pickuplinesIII

Hi, my name's Dan. You might want to remember it now, because you'll be screaming it later!

Hi. You'll do.

Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "Cause they're mine sweetheart."

How do you like your eggs cooked? [Why?] Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!

I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.

I had sex with someone last night. Was that you?

I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!

I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!!

I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?

I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.

I seemed to have lost my way, would you mind taking me with you.

I was going to tell you a joke that'll make your tits fall off. But it looks like somebody beat me to it.

I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?

I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.

If a women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You should answer: "Yeah! Do you have the energy?"

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.

I'm not trying to pressure you. I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; oh and by the way, you have my consent.

I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.

I'm the kind of man who deserves to have women I don't deserve.

Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

Is you father a lumberjack [No, why?] Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.

I've been slightly depressed ever since my vasectomy.

I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.

I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.

Let's have breakfast together tomorrow; shall I call you or nudge you?

Lick your finger and touch the person, touch yourself with it and say, "Let's you and me get out
of these wet clothes."

May I flirt with you?

My name's [your name]. That's so you know what to scream.

Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?

Oh my sweet darling! For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.

Overheard in our computer lab: Just because your computers are incompatible, doesn't mean we are.

Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?

Say, did we go to different schools together?

Shall I wait for you in my car or will the closet suffice?