Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? A: 45 pounds Q: Why do men die before their wives? A: Because they want to. Q:  If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the  front door, who do you let in first? A:  The dog of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in. Q:  What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? A:  Divorced. Scientists have discovered a food to diminish a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called wedding cake.  Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?"  I said dust. Bigamy is having one wife too many.  Some say monogamy is the same. All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.

Wives