| PART 22 I watch as Alex slowly rocks Liz back and forth, as she cries. A half hour later Alex carefully lifts her off the ground and carries her to the car. I try to look at her face desperately wanting it to be me who comforts her. I don’t know what’s going through her mind; I just know it’s hurting her. I attempt to touch her face, but she turns away from me. My arm flops down to my side as the feeling of tiny daggers slicing through my heart washes over me. I offer to drive, seeing Liz clinging to Alex for dear life. He gives me a small smile as he climbs into the back with Liz. The only sounds that can be heard are Liz’s silent cries and Alex’s hushed whispers. I park Alex’s car in their driveway. I get out and open the back door for them. I notice Liz has finally fallen asleep. Alex climbs quietly out of the car and slowly picks Liz up. He tells me which key opens the front door. I reach the door ahead of them and hold it open. Alex heads upstairs with me following. He gently places Liz on her bed and carefully tucks her in. He backs out of the room waiting for me to follow. I want to make sure she’s alright, so I’m not about to leave her. He grabs me by the shoulder and pulls me out of the room. He motions for me to go downstairs. I hear him following me and he then proceeds to lead me into the kitchen where he sits at the table. I sit across from him waiting for him to speak. “You don’t have to stay,” he says. “I know I don’t have to, but I want to. She just forgave me and I’m not about to turn my back on her.” He smiles and nods. “I’m glad to hear that, because she was afraid you wanted to wash your hands clean of her.” I look up at him clearly confused. “Why would she think that?” Alex sighs and rubs his face. "I don’t know how to explain this.” He sighs again. “You guys have a lot to talk about and I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I know she was the happiest when she was with you.” My heart swells at that thought. “Then why have you been treating me like I killed her?” I know it’s a dumb question to ask, but I still want to know the answer. Alex smirks at me and says, “One night Liz came home crying. Still to this day, I don’t know why, but I assumed it was your fault because Max of all people brought her home. I confronted him, but he just shrugged it off and left.” I bow my head. Max. What was she doing with Max and when was this? If Max hurt her, he’s a dead man. “Are you guys talking about me?” We both turn in the direction of her voice. Liz is standing in front of the kitchen doorway looking everywhere but at me. I take in her appearance and my heart breaks for her. Look at all the pain I’ve caused her. Alex pulls out a chair and pats it for her to come sit down. Her eyes well up with tears and I stride to her to take her into my arms. She tries to pull away, but I tighten my hold on her until she leans into me as her body trembles. “I’ll always be here for you no matter what,” I whisper into her ear. I feel her arms wrap around my waist and grip onto me as if her life depends upon it. ************************************************************************ I watch my brother and the man I .. I .. care deeply for sitting in the kitchen. They are so deep in conversation that they don’t even notice me. I make my presence known and Alex motions for me to sit down. I can’t move, all I can think about is Michael probably hates me. He probably doesn’t want to have anything to do with me. He comes to me in one fluid motion and hugs me. I try to pull away, I don’t want to be comforted by him if he’s only going to leave me later on. I hear him softly say, “I’ll always be here for you no matter what.” That’s when I lean on him and tighten my arms around him. I don’t ever want to let him go, but I know once I tell him the truth I won’t have him in my life anymore. I pull away from him and walk over to where Alex is sitting. I avoid looking at Michael only because I’m afraid when I tell him what I’m about to he’ll look at me with disgust instead of admiration like he always does. I sit beside Alex to lean into him. Michael pulls up a chair close to me. I’m having second thoughts about having this talk. I stare at my hands wondering where I should begin. “Michael, we need to talk.” Alex pushes his chair out and stands up. I look at him asking, “Where are you going?” He kisses my forehead and says, “This is something you both need, and by yourselves. I don’t want to intrude on this.” I get to my feet and whisper, “I don’t think I can do this by myself. I need your support.” He hugs me and softly says, “I’ll always support you, but there’s a lot of explaining on both your parts about your relationship. If you need me I’ll be upstairs.” I slowly nod as I watch him leave. I take a deep breath and turn to Michael. “Let’s go to my room where we can have some privacy.” Michael rises and waits for me so he can follow. I’ve never been so nervous in my life. I slowly walk up the steps leading to my bedroom. As I reach to open my door, I notice my hands shaking. Michael reaches around me and opens the door. I cross the threshold debating how I’m going to tell him. What I should tell him? Should I really tell him everything? What is he going to think of me? I sit on the edge of my bed and he sits beside me. He lays one of his hands on my knee and says, “What’s wrong? You look like you’re about to hyperventilate.” I give him a half smile and say, “I want to explain about the scene with Maria. I’m just afraid of what you’ll think about me after you know the whole story.” I stand up and walk to the window. “Liz, I… my feelings for you are so strong. I don’t think there’s anything you’re going to say that’s going to make that change.” I turn around and look intently at him. If only that were true. “Where do you want me to start?” I ask as I pull up a chair so we’re facing each other. He shrugs and says, “Wherever you want.” I sigh and tuck my hair behind my ears. He grabs my hands and says, “There’s nothing to be nervous about. I’ll make it easy. What was Maria talking about with that whole driving into a tree comment?” I unconsciously chew on my lip as I think of a way to explain it. Since I can’t think of a gentle way of explaining it I settle for the direct approach. “Remember when I told you my grandmother died and I found out that me and Alex are only half siblings?” He nods and I continue, “Well, I was upset. Not only did the only person who showed me love other then Alex die, but I found out my whole life was a lie. I ran off taking my mom’s car and stopped at a neighboring town for gas. I also didn’t know what I was doing or where I wanted to go so I just drove around for a while. I was lost and stopped when I saw a bunch of people. I noticed they were having a block party. I went to one of the tables and stared flirting with one of the guys there and he gave me a large cup of alcohol. I’d never drunk before that, but whatever it was it was good so I asked for another one. I guess you can imagine how drunk I was. I was about to leave, but the guy said I wasn’t in any condition to drive. So he danced with me and I sang. I had fun, I forgot about my life for a while. When I was able to stand up by myself, I left. I still didn’t know what I wanted to do. If I should keep going or if I should turn back.” I pause, averting my eyes from Michael’s. I take a deep breath and resume, “I decided to run away, but I wanted to say goodbye to my grandmother so I drove to the cemetery. I must have been there for a while because Maria showed up saying everyone was worried about me and that I should go home. Then she noticed that I had been drinking and said she was taking me home. I refused and jumped into my car, but Maria jumped in the passenger side. I kept screaming at her to leave, but she wouldn’t. I started the car thinking maybe if I drove off, she’d want to leave since I was still a little inebriated. She just kept arguing with me that I shouldn’t be driving and how could I leave her and Alex behind without a word. I was looking at her not paying attention to the road, yelling at her to leave me alone, that my whole life was nothing but a lie. Then she started screaming and she grabbed the wheel. I looked at the road and noticed I was in the other lane so we both tried to swerve out the way of this huge truck. We did just in the nick of time but my car flipped over and rolled off the side of the road and was stopped by a tree. I tried to get out, but my seatbelt was stuck and I couldn’t move my legs. I tried looking for Maria, but I couldn’t see and that’s when I think I loss consciousness.” I close my eyes and shake my head to get the images out of my head. I still remember that day like it was yesterday. I feel arms wrap around me and pull me near. I try to push away, but his hold only tightens. “Why would I despise you? I’m definitely not the one to place judgment on anyone.” I shake my head and say, “I’m not finished.” I move off his lap and back into my chair. “When I woke up I noticed an ambulance and the sheriff there. The only reason I never had a record was because of him. He knew about my home life and he protected me even against Maria’s mom. That’s why she hates me. I almost killed her only daughter. Maria had tons of surgery done to her. She almost didn’t survive, but God was on her side. So I always felt like I owed so much to her because I was the one who almost took her life.” Michael strokes my face and says, “I still feel strongly for you, Liz. I always will.” My eyes tear up and I jerk away from him. “Isn’t there another question you want to ask me?” ************************************************************************ I don’t understand why she keeps pulling away from me. I wish she knew how much I need her in my life. After her story, my heart only goes out for her. I understand her relationship with Maria and why she always put Maria’s happiness before hers. Why does she think I have another question for her? Just then it hits me. I do have another question for her, but should I ask her? Should I just leave it alone? I shake my head and ask, “Why…. When did Max bring you home?” I can see her shoulders slump and how her face falls through the reflection on the window. She slowly turns around never meeting my eyes. She motions for me to sit and she takes a seat in the chair in front of me. She wrings her hands and tucks her hair behind her ears. She’s way too nervous, that’s not a good sign. I don’t think I want to hear the answer. I gather her hands into mine and say, “Forget about it. You don’t have to explain. It’s not important.” She looks into my eyes and says, “I want to tell you. You deserve to know the truth.” She sighs and releases her hands from mine. “Remember that day you left that note in my locker?” I nod. “Well, I was going to talk to you about it, but I saw you in a deep conversation with Tess. It hurt because I wanted to be with you and after reading the note, I thought you wanted the same thing but when I saw you with Tess I thought you were just playing with my feelings. So I sealed it back up and stuck it back into your locker. I walked around for a while and ended up at your house. You weren’t there, but Max opened the door.” She stands up and walks to the window. I remember that day because my heart broke when I saw the unopened letter in my locker. I had gone to her house but she wasn’t home so I waited for her by her window. When I finally realized she wasn’t coming home anytime soon I left and walked to the park. Liz clearing her throat interrupts my thoughts. “I told Max I wanted to talk to him so he led me up to his room. He closed the door and waited for me to say something.” I don’t like the way this is going. I try to calm my breathing down. I don’t want to jump to conclusions. “I.. I… I kissed him.” I shake my head. “No,” I whisper. This can’t be happening. She faces me with sad eyes. “I’m sorry.” I watch as tears flows down her cheeks. “I was hurt and all I could think about was hurting you. I knew I could do that with Max, but it didn’t feel right. I.. I..” She shakes her head. “I know nothing I say is going to justify what I did. I just always have a tendency to act before I think especially when I feel betrayed.” She turns her back to me and says, “I understand if you don’t what to have anything to do with me.” I stand up. I can’t look at her right now, it hurts to think she went to my brother of all people. “I need some air.” I walk out of her room and outside. I aimlessly stroll her neighborhood. I stop at a payphone and dial a number. “Hello?” a sleepy Max answers. “I want you to pick me up.” “Who the hell do you think you are?” “We need to talk.” “So why don’t you get yourself here? You got yourself wherever you are.” “Get the fuck out of bed and be at Liz’s in twenty minutes.” I hear him say, “I’ll be there.” He hangs up and I head back over to Liz’s waiting for Max to arrive. When he finally shows up, I hop in the car before he can say anything. “Let’s go. You didn’t think you were going to see her, did you?” Max glares at me and says, “Where to?” I look out ahead of me and say, “Two blocks down there is a park. Stop there.” He nods and silently drives us to our destination. He stops the car and I climb out. I head to a bench and sit down to wait for him. When he comes into view he says, “What’s the deal? Why did you drag me out of my bed?” I glower at him and say, “What’s going on between you and Liz?” He sighs and says, “You woke me up for this? Why didn’t you just ask her? I mean you were at her house.” I stand up and get in his face. “She told me she kissed you. Is that true?” Max pushes me back and roars, “Why are you all up in my face? Nothing happened between us. She kissed me and broke down then I took her home. That’s it. Maybe if you’d listen to her instead of jumping to conclusions you would have known that.” I sit back down and lean my head into my hands. “What did she say to you?” I look up and Max is towering over me. “That she cares for you and you hurt her. That she saw you with Tess.” He sits down besides me and says, “She was so broken up that day and I knew it was for no reason. And to think you’re the one that makes her happy. That’s why I helped you guys, because I couldn’t bear to see her that way. Especially if I could prevent it.” I turn to Max seeing him for the first time. Maybe this town didn’t just change me for the better. For the first time my brother has my respect. “Thanks. Sorry I woke you up.” He shrugs his shoulders and walks to his car. “Do you need a ride?” I shake my head and he drives off. I watch him leave and smile. Maybe Liz and me will be alright after all. I jog back to Liz’s house anxious to see her. |