| PART 12 I lie in bed trying to fall asleep. I turn to where our baby used to sleep, but it is vacant. I turn to my side where Michael lies and prop myself up. I drag my eyes over his sleeping form and smile. He’s been exhausted. Ever since Anthony went on vacation, he's been working a lot of hours plus keeping up with a four month old baby. I silently roll out of bed and tip toe to the nursery. I lean over Jasmine Michelle’s crib and watch my precious angel sleep. I smile as the feeling of peace overcomes me. I sit down on the rocking chair Michael made for Jasmine and rock back to reach for my journal to begin writing. As I watch Jasmine, I think back on my life. In the beginning I had a simple everyday normal boring life, until that day Max, Isabel, and Michael came into my life. I never understood why Isabel and I never got along, but I know why Michael and I didn’t. Max never knew what he wanted, or maybe he did and made me into the person he wanted and not for who I really was. Maybe I always thought I was in love with Max because of everything he did for me. He saved my life; he made my life exciting and dangerous. Something I never thought I wanted, but loved every minute of until Alex died. Max also gave me my last few moments with my grandmother and during that time she told me to follow my heart, and until now I always thought I was. Having Jasmine made all my memories and feelings come to surface. She has this tendency to connect with me, but since she hasn’t collected many memories yet, I’ll see mine. That night Max was taken by the FBI and Michael held me, I felt safe and loved. I didn’t understand it then, but now I know. When Jasmine was only two weeks old, Amy came to visit me. She wanted to make sure I was still alive and didn’t need anything. Michael came into view with Jasmine in his arms and Amy immediately demanded to know whose baby that was. When I told her it was mine she looked between Michael and me and shook her head; she wanted to know how I could have betrayed her daughter like this. That statement hurt because I’ve always looked to Ms. DeLuca as a mother ever since mine passed away. I told her if she can’t accept this and treat our baby with the love and respect she deserved then I don’t want her in my life. She stormed off and I haven’t heard from her since. She must have told Maria because a month later Maria came barging in demanding to know what was going on. She stepped up to me ordering me to leave Michael, that I don’t deserve him. I shook my head trying to stay calm but when she told me that to Michael I’ll always be second best, my temper flared up and before I could respond I hear Jasmine cry. Michael walked into the room with a screaming baby in his arms. I went to them and held her close until she calmed down. That was when my anger dissolved. Maria walked up to me and pointed her finger just as Jasmine reached out and held onto to her finger. The room went silent for about ten seconds then Jasmine let go, she snuggled up to me. I shook my head at Maria and told her she was never welcome here again. She sneered at me and turned her back to me. Kyle walked up and asked to hold Jasmine. I looked down at her as she stretched her small arms to him. He picked her up and smiled. I honestly believe he fell in love with her. Michael placed a comforting arm around me as we both admired the interaction between Jasmine and Kyle. He handed her back to us and thanked us. He strode over to Maria and feverishly whispered to her. Her face paled and she shook her head. Kyle stormed out with a pleading Maria close behind. I found out later that Kyle found out Maria cheated on him with her manager. They were in the process of getting a divorce. That’s when I realized Michael and I aren’t the only ones Jasmine will connect with. I close my book when I see Jasmine wiggling her arms and legs in the air and can’t help but smile. Michael stands in the doorway rubbing his eyes. “You couldn’t sleep?” He walks into the room and bends over Jasmine’s crib. “No, I missed her presence in our room.” He chuckles. “What are you doing up?” He shrugs and says, “I missed my wife’s warm body against mine.” I shake my head. He reaches out for my hand and says, “We need our rest. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.” I glance at Jasmine one last time before Michael leads me to our bedroom. “I know.” Tomorrow is the day Jasmine Michelle will be christened. River Dog will perform the ceremony and Kyle will be her godfather. Max and his son, Tyler, will be there because Michael feels Jasmine should have her heritage around her at all times. He knew how it was growing up not knowing who or what he really was and he doesn’t want that for his daughter. I respect and understand his wishes so far and for the first time I’m welcoming Max into my family with open arms. Michael pulls me close and just before I give in to sleep, I finally realize I never followed my heart because if I did it would have led me straight to Michael. It took a lot of suffering and loss, but I’m finally where I belong. The End. |