| PART 7 I just returned from another funeral. It seems like I’ve done that a lot lately. I want this one to be the last. I don’t think I could handle another one. Since I’ve been distracted, I haven’t noticed the feeling of death surrounding me. I had that same feeling when my parents died, when Alex died, and when my grandmother died. I never told anyone this because I didn’t want people to think I was crazy. That day Max saved me and cheated death, he changed fate. I believe I was supposed to die that day. So in theory, those lives I interacted with was a mistake. So fate stepped in and fixed it by ripping those near and dear to me out of my life. We were never supposed to be involved, and since I’ve already beaten death, I couldn’t take their place. Max cursed me that day and now everything I touch disintegrates. The perfect example is the Crashdown. It was almost ruined under my care. Until Michael came. He not only resuscitated the Crashdown, but also me. I stop writing and stare at the words I’ve just written. A tear splatters on the pages. Why did Michael have to come back into my life? I tried to keep my distance from him, but he made it difficult with his tender words and subtle tactics to involve himself in my life. He weaseled his way into my heart. Now I don’t know what I’m going to do without him in my life. He changed me. I was happy for a while. He made me forget my problems, but now everything has to change. I don’t know why I just didn’t isolate myself from the world. That way everyone would be safe from my curse. I realize now that I’m destined to be alone. I close my journal. The pain in my heart and soul is overpowering. I hear a soft knocking at my door and I whisper, “Please, just go away.” I crawl into bed and wrap myself under my blankets, shielding myself from the world. |