Weekend

Heh.

Because he’s standing right behind me.

Of course he’s standing right behind me.

Why wouldn’t he be standing right behind me?

I mean, this is me we’re talking about. Of course he’d be standing behind me right after I sai-

Oh fuck he really is standing right behind me.

I turn around to come face to face with a huge pair of brown eyes, tears sparkling at the edges of them.

Ken.

That too familiar chocolate gaze focused on me once again makes me feel so many things....

Fear. Anger. Happiness. Humiliation.

Love.

“So is this your ‘Ken’ ?” I turn my head slowly over to Cole, his gray eyes lazily wandering up and down Ken’s still form. Ken doesn’t notice, his eyes not leaving mine for a moment as he stares at me silently from the steps below.

Incapable of speech, I nod at him, a lump quickly forming in my throat. I can’t handle this...not both of them..

Cole smiles sadly at me, defeat in his eyes, his expression now crestfallen. “Well...I can understand how you feel then.”

My lips part slightly in surprise and I stare down at him in confusion. He grins and stands on his toes, kissing me lightly on the cheek.

“See you around....Yohji....” he smiles weakly at me and walks back into the apartment building, sighing quietly as he shuts the door behind him.

Cole...I’m sorry...

“Did you mean what you said?”

“Ken!” I whip around to see him still looking up at me, his hands fidgeting with a small brown strip of suede wrapped around his neck. That’s new. I wonder...did Aya give it to him?

“Did you mean it?” he repeats, the dark eyes practically burning a hole though me.

“I...”

I’ve never been more frightened in my entire life.

//What’s the point of dancing around things? I think if you respect someone, you should at least tell them how you feel.//

Cole’s honest words echo faintly in my mind, and I know he’s right. This is it. This is my last chance. And I’m not going to waste it. I suck in a deep ragged breath before I spill my entire soul onto the dirty sidewalk at Ken’s feet.

“I did mean it Ken. And I’m sorry I never told you before.” My eyes drift towards the purple sky, the night overpowering the remaining shards of day retreating on the far horizon. “I know that it‘s too late...but I love you Ken. I love you so much. I know you have Aya and you don‘t need me...but I don’t know...I just can’t help how I feel about you.”

I’m scared to look at him.

“But don’t worry... I’d give anything for you to be happy, so I‘ll leave you two al- ”

I’m silenced as a finger presses against my lips. Ken, having walked up the stairs without me noticing, frowns slightly at me, making no attempt to remove the digit as he begins to speak.

“You never let me finish.” Ken whispers, his face painted with a curious mixture of emotions. “Why didn’t you just let me finish?”

“Nani?” I say quietly, my lips moving against his finger giving me a surge of hopeless desire. “Ken...I just want you to be happy..”

“Stop talking!” he says sharply. “I have been searching this entire fucking city for you, and now you’re going to let me finish.” his eyebrows knit together as he spits out each word, angry tears streaming down his cheeks.

I stare down at him, fear quickly filling my heart. Please don’t hate me, Ken...

“Aya told me he loved me...”

I can’t hear this. I can’t hear this again. A feeling of panic rises in my chest and I want to run again, but by the look in Ken’s eyes, I know he’d never forgive me if I did. So I stay there, with his finger still pressed against my lips, my frightened eyes set on his determined ones, and my heart pounding loudly in my chest.

“I can’t even remember the last time somebody told me that...” he smiles half-heartedly at me, his hands going back to fiddle with the small necklace. “But you know what I said to him?”

I shake my head, seeing all the pain and frustration that this boy held in for so long slowly leaking out.

“I told him I was in love with somebody else.”

“Yuriko?” I blurt out, only to have a finger planted firmly against my mouth once again.

“No! God Dammit, Yohji! Shut up!” he cries, raking a hand through his hair, obviously irked.

“G-gomen...” I say weakly, biting my bottom lip, trying to hold back tears.

Ken’s face suddenly takes on a softer expression, a light blush staining his cheeks as he looks out into the street, gazing at an elderly couple passing by.

“No...” he says, more calmly this time. “No, I’m not in love with Yuriko.” I have difficulty understanding him - his voice is so quiet in the cool air, and he wont even turn around to look at me. But I hear him, and a wave of relief passes through me, making me slouch slightly. I couldn’t stand that girl. But if it isn’t Aya..or her...

“You.”

No.

“You, Yohji.” he turns toward me, a large grin on his face, his eyes brimming with tears.

This can’t be happening.

I can’t move. I can’t breathe. I can’t think.

Me.

I watch silently as Ken steps closer, placing a hand against my color-drained cheek.

This can’t be happening.

“It’s you, Yohji. It’s always been you.”

He smiles softly, his fingers brushing my long bangs out of my uncertain eyes. I lean in to the warm touch of his hand, and I feel it slide down to my neck, a gentle pressure pulling me closer to him.

“Ken....?” I croak, my voice breaking. God, he’s so beautiful.

“Shhhh....” he whispers. “Just let me do...this...”

This isn’t happening...I’m not this lucky...This isn’t-

His intense gaze on me breaks off as his eyes flutter shut. His face slowly inches closer to mine as he rises on his toes. I notice his cool breath smells faintly like spearmint, my favorite flavor.

My favorite. Ken...

His lips softly brush against mine. I gasp, my mouth parting in shock. His eyes open slightly, filled with worry, as if he was wondering if I really wanted this.

I could just tell him yes...but actions are louder than words.

I lean down and capture his sweet mouth with my own, my kiss fiercely contrasting the gentle one he just gave me. I’ve never wanted something so badly in my entire life. I grab back of his head, my fingers twisting in those beautiful soft strands of hair, as I pull him as close as I possibly can to me. His eyes widen in shock for a brief moment, but I can feel him smile underneath my lips and he responds with just as much intensity, moaning softly into my mouth.

This...This is the only thing I need.

We break apart, panting softly for breath. His forehead falls against my chest, his arms wrapping around my neck. He stays like that a moment, but then turns his head up towards me.

“I love you, Yohji.” A tear falls down his cheek and a gentle smile graces his features.

He loves me.

My knees feel weak and I grab onto his shoulders for support, my own shaking with silent sobs. He laughs quietly and we both sit down on the hard cement steps. He hugs me gently and leans his head on my shoulder.

“I love you. Do you know how long I’ve wanted to tell you that?” he murmurs , his light breath tickling my ear. “I was going to tell you at the shop...but you ran away...and I didn’t know why...”

“Gomen..” I say quietly, observing a middle-aged man giving me a disgusted look as he walks up the stairs into the apartment building. I ignore him, no longer caring what people think, and stroke Ken’s hair gently.

“Why?” he lifts his head from my shoulder and looks inquiringly at me, his head tilted a little to the side.

He looks so cute when he does that.

“Ken...it was Aya,” I reply simply. “When you told me the most perfect guy said he loved you...I just..didn’t think I stood any type of chance.” I squeeze one of his hands. “I know I should have told you why I ran...but...”

“You think he’s perfect?” he says half laughing as he interrupts me, his eyes wide with amusement.

“Doesn’t everyone?” I say, frowning at Ken who seems to be taking so much entertainment out of this.

“No!” he cries, “They way I see it, Yotan..” I smile at the nickname. “..nobody is perfect. Yes, Aya is gorgeous and an excellent fighter, but he has faults just like you and me. Don’t ever think anyone is above you, cause it’s a lie.”

“Whoever knew you were this deep?” I say, blinking in mock amazement.

“Oi!” he whacks me lightly on the head. “I’m a pretty smart guy when you get to know me!”

“Hn. And I used to think you were such a baka..” I grin and ruffle his soft hair, already mussed from the autumn breeze.

“Hey now! If I were such a baka, I never would have found you...Miki.”

“How did you....?” I say, leaning closer and narrowing my eyes at the smirking boy in my arms.

“Busted my ass. I almost gave up...but I tried your number out and..”

“That was you?”

“Hai...” he blushes slightly. “When you said you were packing...I panicked...cause I thought you were running and I’d have to find you all over again. So I called where ‘Miki’ worked to get his address...” He laughs quietly. “...you’re fired by the way.”

I grimace slightly. Damn boss’ daughter...

Ken doesn’t notice my expression and continues. “So I came here, and you wouldn’t answer the door...” I frown as his voice becomes small and tight. “...and I thought I lost you again.”

His eyes darken slightly. “So I was walking to my bike...and I heard someone say your name. I was so happy..but then I saw it was..that guy..”

He looks up at me, his eyes searching my own as he nervously chews on one of his fingernails.

“Are you...two...?” I already know the question before he finishes.

“No!” I cry, lifting my hands up in a defensive gesture. “No...” I place my hand on his cheek and stoke my thumb gently across his skin.

“Ken..even if you were with Aya...I don’t think I’d be able to be with anyone else.” I feel my cheeks heat up at my small confession as Ken sighs and slumps against me, a look of relief on his face.

“I’m so glad...” I watch him blink a couple times, as if he remembered something. “Ne, Yohji..”

He places both hands on my shoulders and stares me directly in the eye, demanding my full attention.

Like he wouldn’t have it anyway.

“Even if there was a perfect man Yohji, it wouldn’t matter to me...” he says, kissing me lightly on the forehead. “I love you...and all your imperfections.”

He smiles. I love his smile. I love everything he does.

I adore him.

I wrap my arms around him once again and hug him tightly, a feeling of contentment seeping deep into my body.

“Arigatou....” I whisper into his hair, nuzzling myself in it‘s softness.

Coconut shampoo....

“For what?” he inquires, fiddling with the collar of my shirt.

“For caring.”

He smiles brilliantly, a mischievous look crossing his eyes before he covers my grinning mouth with his own. I feel his tongue hesitantly trace my lips, causing my heart to pound wildly. He gets on his knees to gain even more dominance, his lips not leaving mine for a moment. His eyes are shut tightly, his tongue pushing with a gentle pressure now. I part my lips slightly and he takes the invitation, exploring every inch of my mouth happily as his fingers lace in my hair, tugging gently.

It’s strange...I always imagined myself being the powerful one..the one in control..and I always have been.

But this...this is nice..

To my disappointment, Ken breaks away and starts to stand. I reach and grab one of his arms, yanking him down so that his face is inches from my own once again.

“Come upstairs.” I breathe.

Cocoa eyes grow wide. “Yohji!” Ken stammers, his cheeks growing a bright crimson. “I-I don’t think...that..n-now...”

I laugh, taking great amusement in the quivering mass of nerves in front of me. “Get your mind out of the gutter, KenKen,” I say, sticking out my tongue. “I just want you to help me pack, you hentai.”

He turns even redder and looks down, hiding his eyes behind his long bangs. “If I didn’t love you so much..I’d hit you.” he mutters, a sulky tone apparent in his quiet voice.

“I guess I should be thankful then.” I stand up slowly and outstretch a hand to help Ken up as well.

“Yohji?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t ever run away from me again.” He tries to look serious for a moment, but breaks into a grin and hugs me tightly, nearly cutting off my air supply. I stare down at him, pure joy overwhelming me.

“Never. Ken..you’re stuck with me for the rest of your life now.”

“..That’s what I hoped you’d say.” He stand on his toes and gives me a light peck. “Now let’s get you packed so we can go home..” He squeezes my hand gently. “..together.”

He whips around and trots up the stairs, quickly swinging open the door to my soon-to-be-ex-apartment building and sprinting in.

I smile and shake my head. Full of energy as always...

I stop at the doorway and turn around, looking at the street where so much has happened one final time. The sun has completely vanished, bringing the weekend, and a chapter of my life, to a close. The streetlamps flicker on, bathing everything around them in a cold, ghostly light. It’s so strange, the people still walking by, the cars still whizzing past... The world hasn’t changed at all, but it seems so different..so much better..

So this is what it’s like to be happy...

My gaze turns up to the sky, and I see a single star twinkling in the sea of black violet.

For some reason it makes me think of myself...

I’m startled as I feel two arms wrap around my waist. I turn my neck to see Ken smirking impishly behind me, leaning against my back and resting his head on my shoulder. His eyes follow my gaze and his grin grows wider when he notices the bright star.

“Make a wish, Yohji.” he says, his arms squeezing me tightly around the waist.

I look at him from the corner of my eye. A small breeze ruffles his hair and he lets out a small puff of air, blowing his bangs away from his eyes. He catches me staring at him his expression softens, his smirk fading into a gentle smile.

He’s so beautiful...and he loves me. He loves me.

“...There’s nothing left for me to wish for.”

“I know what you mean.”

~owari~

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