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New Definitions
Cigarette
:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the
other.
Divorce :
Future tense of marriage.
Lecture :
An
art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the
notes
of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference
:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number
present.
Compromise :
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the
biggest piece.
Tears :
The hydraulic
force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine
water
power...
Dictionary :
A place where success comes before
work.
Conference Room :
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later
on.
Classic :
A book which people
praise, but do not read.
Smile :
A curve that can set a lot of things
straight.
Office :
A place where you can relax after your strenuous
home life.
Yawn :
The only time some married men ever get to open
their mouth.
Etc. :
A sign to make others believe that you know more
than you actually do.
Committee :
Individuals who can do nothing
individually and sit to decide that nothing
can be done
together.
Experience :
The name men give to their
mistakes.
Atom Bomb :
An invention to end all
inventions.
Philosopher :
A fool who torments himself during life, to
be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat :
A person who tells you to go to
hell in such a way that you actually look
forward to the
trip.
Opportunist :
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally
falls into a river.
Optimist :
A person who while falling from Eiffel
tower says in midway "See I am not
injured yet."
Miser :
A person
who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father :
A banker provided by
nature.
Criminal :
A guy no different from the rest....except that he
got caught.
Boss :
Someone who is early when you are late and late
when you are early.
Politician :
One who shakes your hand before
elections and your Confidence after it.
Doctor :
A person who kills
your ills by pills, and kills you with his
bills.
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