Everything grows kind of misty. A green door appears in front of you. You pass through it.  

You're in an auditorium.  Chairs have been arranged in a circle.  A man in a plaid suit is sitting there, and around him is a ring of incredibly ugly, nerdy people. 

"Have a seat," the man in the plaid suit says, gesturing to the empty chair. 

You sit down, and look warily at the others, who blink back at you. The man in the plaid suit is smiling wide enough to swallow a hot dog sideways.  

"So," says the man in the plaid suit.  "How did everyone feel about the experience?" 

"I kind of felt peripheral," says one of the other people.  "I mean, what do I get to do as 'Magic Echo?'  A few voice-overs, that's all!" 

"That's lucky," says another.  "Here I am, the body of the Green Knight, who's part of the main villain, and I don't even have a single line except that laughter in the Great Hall -- and that's another thing, how could I laugh if I didn't have a head?" 

"It was a special effect," the plaid suit guy says.  "Dubbed in, post-production." 

"It seems like the entire focus was on the knight-on-the-quest business," says another.  You see his nametag reads, 'Neo T. Morpheus / aka 'Guy Running Around Village.' 

"I felt marginalized, too," says the woman with 'Volcano Sacrifice' on her tag. 

"I was Rocky," says another person, "but even though you'd think, 'Oh, wow, Rocky's a central character!'  I really didn't get much choice.  It seemed like the knight was getting all the choices, and I just had a script to read based on what his/her selections were." 

Rocky, you notice, doesn't quite match in person what you pictured inside the story.  You mentally rule out meeting to have coffee later. 

The man in the plaid suit claps his hands and rubs them.  "Well, I can see that everyone had a good time and is very enthusiastic about their experiences.  So I hope you'll all leave with the thought, 'Gosh, I'd like to share this with all my friends.'" 

"Not really," says 'Turning the Tester.' 

"Not unless they want to look like a perfect fool," says 'Goofdaln.' 

"I felt exactly that way," says the person sitting beside him.  "The Sir Irving persona is entirely different from my personality in real life.  He and I have absolutely nothing in common.  I mean, really, who in real life actually launches into long expository sequences on a repetitive basis?  And you know, sitting here as we are in this focus group session, discussing our feelings about this web site so that the marketing people can figure out how to retool it to better meet consumer demand, I can't help but to think that this is an ulterior purpose involved, such as perhaps trying to psychologically manipulate us into spreading the word about this web site." 

"And there are varioius ways you can do that," the man in the plaid suit says, his smile showing nary a chink.  "One way is to note the web site address (http://oocities.com/engineerzero) and e-mail it to a friend -- and say, why not make it two or three or every single one in your address book!" 

"Why not?" says 'Slobbering Giant.'  "Because I'd like to keep my friends, that's why not." 

"Skeeraw!  Skeeraw!" says 'Snakelike Sea Serpent.' 

The others nod in agreement. 

The man in the plaid suit turns to you.  Yes, you! 

"But how about you?" he asks.  "You got to play the knight on the quest.  You had lots of choices and actions and fun, didn't you?" 

"Well, I uh -- " you say. 

"Exactly!  So you'll be sure to e-mail all your friends and have them come here, and maybe if you have a web-site, you can link to us here at http://oocities.com/engineerzero.  Plus, you can mention us in chat rooms and perhaps hand out flyers in public places.  Doesn't that sound spiffy!" 

"Well, I uh -- " you say. 

"Well, then it's agreed!"  The man in the plaid suit slaps your back and smiles even wider than before.  "And more than an agreement, it's a promise -- nay, a sacred oath, that you'll tell all your friends about the wonderful experience you've had here at 
 
 

!!!!" 

You look at the others, who are looking at you.  And then the one and only response that you could possibly say comes to mind and passes out of your lips: 

"Whatever," you say.