We're so rude - London
guide![]() by Geraint Smith It is tops for tolerance, unshockability, art, music, theatre, clubbing, parks, museums, galleries, history and most other things - but London's good manners are "going the way of the dodo", getting around is dire and eating out is "hit or miss", according to the latest edition of one of the best known tourist guides.
While London is "the premier city of Europe", the richest city in Europe and infinitely more multi-culturally integrated than New York, it is also overcrowded, severely polluted, and its people are becoming increasingly foulmouthed, aggressive and inhospitable, according to the guide. Principal among its grumbles is the traffic. Whereas once, London drivers were renowned for their politeness - considering it is a big city - now they are "aggressive in the extreme" according to the guide, which adds that "road rage is a common occurrence ... 75 per cent of all London drivers have experienced it". White Van Man, apparently an exclusively London phenomenon, will cut you up, then "dissolve into road rage as only Londoners know it", while motorcycle couriers and bicycles "can be even more of a menace than pick-pockets". On to pollution. "Eight out of the 10 most polluted streets in the UK are in London ... the highest levels of nitrogen dioxide are in Mayfair, Knightsbridge, Kensington and Hyde Park". The Tube is "slow and unreliable", "breakdowns are common" and worst of all it is "terribly expensive" compared with such places as New York and Paris. Then there are "a depressing number" of beggars, while "Londoners seem to be a bunch of litterbugs", and the public lavatories are "pretty grim". As for the food, the guide warns: "Don't count on value for money. Eating out in London can be a real hit or miss affair." Not that Lonely Planet is exactly infallible. Irritatingly, it first quotes one ancient slogan of London independence: "Londoners shall have no king but their Mayor," and then ignores not only the other boroughs, but the fact that the post to which that slogan referred, namely the Lord Mayor of London, has existed ever since, and still holds sway in the City. " London is the only capital city in the world without a self-governing authority and mayor or equivalent," says the guide. Rubbish. It has 31 and two Lord Mayors - the second being Lord Mayor of Westminster. The guide says "average traffic speeds in London are around 20kph" which is about as useful as giving the average in the whole of Britain. In fact, in central London it is 10mph (16kph). In outer London, peak periods are 18mph and off-peak 23mph. On the positive side, the Lonely Planet Guide concedes that the capital boasts "some of the greatest museums and art galleries anywhere" and more lush parkland than any other world capital. It is an amazingly tolerant place for its size, readers are told, with its people pretty much unshockable. Londoners are unfazed by outrageous dress or behaviour and "seem to take pride in ignoring anyone who appears to be trying to draw attention to themselves". However, "most would no more speak to a stranger in the street than fly to the moon. Try starting a conversation at a bus stop or on a Tube platform and you'll find people reacting as if you were mad". There are "relatively low levels of chauvinism, racism, sexism, or any other 'ism' you can think of", but London simply cannot be the coolest city in the world, says the guide, by virtue of the fact that "the pubs and restaurants close at a time when the rest of Europe is choosing its first course".
© Associated Newspapers Ltd., 09 February 2000
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