본 서비스는 (주)빅셀에서 제공합니다. 이 자막이 포함된 MP3화일은(주)빅셀의 Englab 을 이용하여 만들었습니다. EngLab을 구입하시면 여러분이 자막을 컴퓨터에 저장할 수 있습니다. http://www.vixell.com/ [00:00] FEATURING KEVIN EUBANKS [00:00] AND "THE TONIGHT SHOW BAND." [00:04] AND ME, I'M EDD HALL. [00:06] TONIGHT, JAY WELCOMES --[ APPLAUSE ] [00:37] CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY [00:38] NBC STUDIOS [00:42] --Captions by VITAC -- [00:43] www.vitac.com [00:48] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] [00:54] >> Jay: HI, EVERYBODY! [01:02] WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW." [01:03] NICE TO HAVE YOU HERE. [01:04] AND THANKS FOR COMING OUT [01:05] ON SUCH A HOT DAY. [01:06] BOY, IT WAS HOT TODAY, [01:07] WASN'T IT? [01:08] YOU KNOW, DOCTORS SAY -- THIS IS [01:09] WHAT THEY SAY -- HEAT IS HARDEST [01:11] ON KIDS AND OLD PEOPLE. [01:13] SO THIS HAS GOTTA BE [01:14] AN ESPECIALLY ROUGH DAY [01:15] FOR MICHAEL DOUGLAS [01:15] AND CATHERINE ZETA-JONES, HUH? [01:16] OOH. [01:17] [ LAUGHTER ] [01:18] THEY'RE JUST SUFFERING, THE TWO [01:19] OF THEM. [01:21] IN FACT, IT'S SO HOT TODAY, [01:22] THE LAKERS WENT BACK TO PHILLY [01:23] JUST FOR THE CHILLY RECEPTION. [01:24] YEAH. [01:25] [ LAUGHTER ] [01:29] >> Kevin: BOO! [01:30] >> Jay: THAT'S WHAT IT WAS, [01:30] YEAH, YEAH. [01:31] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] [01:32] OH, A LITTLE TIP FOR [01:33] YOU L.A. PEOPLE -- [01:34] DON'T THROW THOSE LAKER FLAGS [01:35] OUT YET, 'CAUSE WITH [01:36] THE ELECTRICITY OUT, YOU CAN USE [01:37] THOSE TO FAN YOURSELF NOW. [01:38] [ LAUGHTER ] [01:39] HOW LONG ARE YOU SUPPOSED [01:40] TO KEEP YOUR LAKER FLAG UP? [01:41] I STILL SEE THEM. [01:42] >> Kevin: DON'T ASK ME. [01:43] I'M STILL DEPRESSED. [01:44] I'M STILL DEPRESSED, MAN. [01:45] >> Jay: ACTUALLY, FOLKS HERE [01:46] IN L.A., STILL PRETTY EXCITED [01:47] ABOUT BEING NUMBER ONE. [01:48] YOU SEE THIS ALL THE TIME, [01:49] YOU KNOW? [01:49] IN FACT, SINCE FRIDAY NIGHT, [01:50] MORE PEOPLE ON THE FREEWAY HAVE [01:52] FLIPPED ME THE FOREFINGER THAN [01:52] THE MIDDLE FINGER. [01:53] THAT'S THE FIRST TIME -- [01:54] [ LAUGHTER ] [01:55] -- THE FIRST TIME THAT'S EVER [01:55] HAPPENED. [01:57] USUALLY, IT'S THE OTHER WAY [01:57] AROUND. [01:58] HEY, AND HOW 'BOUT THIS? [01:59] ON FRIDAY NIGHT, AFTER [02:01] THE LAKERS WON, LAPD SAID [02:02] THEY DID NOT MAKE A SINGLE [02:03] ARREST. [02:04] DID NOT MAKE A SINGLE ARREST. [02:05] THIS -- IN FACT -- [02:06] [ APPLAUSE ] [02:08] THIS IS THE -- [02:11] THIS IS THE SAME APPROACH [02:12] THEY TOOK IN THE ROBERT BLAKE(Recently his wife was merdered in his car in the street without any witness, Many are suspicious of him) [02:13] CASE -- [02:14] [ LAUGHTER ] [02:14] NOT A SINGLE ARREST, NOT [02:16] A SINGLE ARREST, NOT A SINGLE [02:16] ARREST. [02:17] [ APPLAUSE ] [02:19] OF COURSE, YESTERDAY HERE [02:20] IN LOS ANGELES, WE HAD THE BIG [02:21] LAKERS PARADE. [02:23] OR AS WE CALL IT, "THE WORLD'S [02:24] LARGEST OUTDOOR UNEMPLOYMENT [02:25] OFFICE," LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. [02:26] [ LAUGHTER ] [02:29] WHO GETS TIME OFF ON A MONDAY [02:30] TO GO TO A PARADE? [02:31] WHAT IS THAT ALL ABOUT? [02:32] DON'T YOU LOVE THOSE PEOPLE WHO [02:33] PROBABLY CALLED IN SICK MONDAY [02:34] MORNING? [02:36] THEN IN THE AFTERNOON, THE BOSS [02:36] SEES THEM ON CAMERA -- [02:37] "LAKERS!" [02:39] [ LAUGHTER ] [02:43] BIZARRE THING THAT IS. [02:44] AND ACCORDING TO THE [02:45] "L.A. TIMES," A LOT OF FANS [02:46] ALONG THE PARADE ROUTE WERE [02:47] UNHAPPY TODAY BECAUSE THE PARADE [02:48] WENT BY TOO QUICKLY. [02:49] THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE COMPLAINING [02:50] ABOUT TODAY. [02:51] THEY SAID THE BUSES CARRYING [02:52] THE LAKERS, OR THE CARS -- [02:53] THE OPEN CARS -- THE LAKERS WERE [02:54] GOING BY 30 MILES AN HOUR. [02:55] 30 MILES -- ISN'T THAT [02:55] UNBELIEVABLE? [02:56] IT'S THE ONLY CITY IN THE WORLD [02:57] WHERE PARADES GO FASTER THAN [02:58] REGULAR TRAFFIC(sarcastic about too much traffic in LA). [02:59] [ LAUGHTER ] [03:00] YOU KNOW, YOU'RE SITTING THERE, [03:01] 2 MILES AN HOUR, AND THE PARADE [03:02] IS GOING BY AT 30 MILES AN HOUR. [03:04] [ LAUGHTER ] [03:04] HEY, HERE'S A GREAT STORY. [03:06] HOW ABOUT THIS LAKERS' [03:07] BRIAN SHAW? [03:08] DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS GUY? [03:08] DO YOU KNOW THIS STORY, KEV? [03:09] >> Kevin: OH, WHAT'S THAT? [03:10] >> Jay: THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE. [03:11] THE GUY FLIES BACK HOME [03:12] FROM PHILLY LAST WEEK TO BE [03:14] BY HIS WIFE'S SIDE FOR THE BIRTH [03:15] OF THEIR DAUGHTER -- RIGHT -- [03:16] THEN FLIES BACK ALL NIGHT, [03:18] REJOINS THE TEAM, PLAYS A GREAT [03:19] GAME ON JUST AN HOUR'S SLEEP. [03:21] ISN'T THAT UNBELIEVABLE? [03:21] >> Kevin: THAT'S GREAT. [03:23] >> Jay: I MEAN, WAIT, NO, NO. [03:24] NOT UNBELIEVABLE HE FLEW HOME. [03:25] UNBELIEVABLE AN NBA PLAYER [03:26] ACTUALLY FATHERED A CHILD [03:27] WITH HIS OWN WIFE. [03:28] [ LAUGHTER ] [03:30] YEAH, COME ON. [03:32] THAT'S PRETTY GOOD, HUH? [03:33] COME ON. [03:34] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] [03:35] COME ON. [03:36] >> Kevin: THAT'S BAD. [03:37] >> Jay: THAT'S PRETTY GOOD. [03:38] [ APPLAUSE ] [03:41] HEY, SAW A GREAT TIP [03:43] FROM MARTHA STEWART ON HER TV [03:43] SHOW THIS MORNING. [03:44] SHE SAYS WITH A SHAG RUG, [03:46] CORDUROY PANTS AND A WOOL [03:48] SWEATER, PEOPLE IN L.A. CAN [03:49] ACTUALLY MAKE THEIR OWN [03:49] ELECTRICITY. [03:50] [ LAUGHTER ] [03:51] YEAH, YOU HAVE TO KINDA -- [03:53] >> Kevin: WHAT ARE YOU DOING, [03:54] MAN? [03:54] >> Jay: THE SHAG AND THE -- [03:55] >> Kevin: WHAT'S THAT LITTLE [03:56] WAIST DANCE -- [03:57] >> Jay: IT'S A COMPLICATED [03:57] PROCESS. [03:58] NEVER MIND. [03:59] >> Kevin: I WANT TO SEE [04:00] THE CARPET DANCE. [04:01] >> Jay: NEVER MIND. [04:02] I DON'T HAVE THE CARPET HERE [04:02] TO DO IT RIGHT NOW. [04:03] >> Kevin: THAT WAS -- [04:05] [ LAUGHTER ] [04:06] THAT WAS A NICE LITTLE -- [04:07] >> Jay: WILL YOU STOP [04:08] WITH THAT?! [04:11] AND "NEWSWEEK" IS REPORTING THIS [04:12] WEEK THAT PRESIDENT BUSH WAS [04:13] STUNNED -- STUNNED WHEN HE FOUND [04:15] OUT JUST HOW MANY NUCLEAR [04:16] WEAPONS AMERICA HAS. [04:17] HERE'S MY QUESTION -- [04:19] HOW CAN YOU TELL WHEN BUSH IS [04:20] STUNNED? [04:20] DOESN'T HE ALWAYS LOOK STUNNED? [04:21] [ LAUGHTER ] [04:23] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] [04:31] AND HOW ABOUT THIS? [04:33] 79-YEAR-OLD SENATOR [04:34] JESSE HELMS -- JESSE HELMS -- [04:35] YOU REMEMBER JESSE. [04:37] HE WENT TO HIS FIRST ROCK [04:37] CONCERT LAST WEEK. [04:39] JESSE WENT TO A U2 CONCERT [04:40] WITH BONO -- INVITED BY BONO [04:42] TO GO TO A ROCK CONCERT. [04:44] AND HELMS SAID HE LIKED U2, [04:45] BUT HE SAID, FRANKLY, [04:46] HE PREFERRED, YOU KNOW, [04:47] PERFORMERS HIS OWN AGE, LIKE [04:48] THE ROLLING STONES. [04:49] [ LAUGHTER ] [04:50] YOU KNOW, PEOPLE MORE -- [04:51] YOU KNOW, MORE HIS GROUP. [04:51] >> Kevin: OH, YEAH, YEAH. [04:53] >> Jay: AND THERE'S NOW TALK [04:54] ON CAPITOL HILL OF CUTTING [04:57] THE NATIONALAL BEER TAX IN HALF. [04:59] CUTTING THE BEER TAX IN HALF. [05:00] YEAH, HOW 'BOUT THAT? [05:01] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] [05:04] AND TODAY, BUSH'S DAUGHTERS [05:06] SAID, "DAD RULES! [05:07] YEAH!" [05:08] [ LAUGHTER ] [05:09] "YEAH! [05:09] DAD RULES!" [05:11] [ APPLAUSE ] [05:16] PRESIDENT CLINTON WAS HERE [05:17] IN LOS ANGELES OVER THE WEEKEND, [05:18] PLAYED A ROUND OF GOLF [05:19] WITH JACK NICHOLSON. [05:20] >> Kevin: OH, YEAH. [05:20] >> Jay: THAT'S KIND OF COOL, [05:21] ISN'T IT? [05:23] BUT IT'S AN ODD TWOSOME, ISN'T [05:23] IT, NICHOLSON AND CLINTON? [05:25] I MEAN, NICHOLSON, WHO DATED [05:27] LARA FLYNN BOYLE -- [05:27] YOU KNOW LARA. [05:30] AND YOU HAVE LARA FLYNN BOYLE, [05:32] NOT LARA FLIMM BOYLE, [05:34] AND CLINTON, WHO DATED [05:35] MONICA LEWINSKY. [05:36] THEY'RE LIKE JACK SPRAT [05:37] AND HIS WIFE. [05:38] ONE GUY LIKES NO FAT, THE OTHER [05:39] LIKES NO LEAN. [05:40] YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE THAT KIND [05:40] OF -- [05:41] [ LAUGHTER ] [05:47] YES, JACK SPRAT REFERENCES. [05:48] ALL RIGHT. [05:49] ALL RIGHT, MOVING ON -- [05:50] OH, HEAR ABOUT THIS? [05:52] JESSE JACKSON'S WIFE HAS BEEN [05:53] JAILED, ARRESTED IN PUERTO RICO [05:54] FOR PROTESTING. [05:55] REMEMBER AL SHARPTON GOT [05:55] ARRESTED? [05:56] >> Kevin: OH, RIGHT, RIGHT. [05:57] >> Jay: SHE'S DOWN THERE [05:57] PROTESTING AGAINST THE NAVAL [05:59] BOMBING IN THE AREA. [06:00] JESSE JACKSON'S WIFE WAS [06:00] ARRESTED. [06:02] THEY SAID SHE SHOULD GET [06:02] 40 DAYS' JAIL. [06:04] AND TODAY, JESSE JACKSON [06:06] IMMEDIATELY SCHEDULED DAY-LONG [06:07] MEETINGS WITH FOUR [06:08] OF HIS SECRETARIES TO DECIDE [06:09] ON A COURSE OF ACTION. [06:09] [ LAUGHTER ] [06:11] HE SAID THESE MEETINGS COULD RUN [06:12] WELL INTO THE NIGHT.(Recently Jackson confessed he has an affair and has a child with her.) [06:13] SO -- [06:14] >> Kevin: OH, YEAH. [06:15] >> Jay: YEAH, THEY'RE TRYING [06:15] TO -- [06:16] >> Kevin: OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. [06:17] >> Jay: AND SOME OF THE BIGGEST [06:19] NAMES IN RAP AND HIP-HOP GOT [06:20] TOGETHER LAST WEEK FOR THE FIRST [06:21] EVER HIP-HOP SUMMIT. [06:23] AND THE MUSICIANS AGREED [06:24] ON THREE KEY ISSUES -- [06:26] THEY SHOULD BE MORE RESPONSIBLE [06:26] FOR THEIR LYRICS. [06:28] THAT'S ONE. [06:29] THEY SHOULD BE MORE SOCIALLY [06:30] AND POLITICALLY ACTIVE. [06:33] AND LITTLE KIM NEEDS TO PUT SOME [06:34] CLOTHES ON. [06:35] ALL RIGHT, LITTLE KIM -- [06:36] [ LAUGHTER ] [06:38] CAN WE SHOW THAT? [06:38] LOOK AT THAT. [06:39] LITTLE KIM NEEDS TO PUT SOME [06:40] CLOTHES ON. [06:41] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] [06:46] WHAT EXACTLY IS THE "LITTLE" [06:47] PART? [06:47] THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW. [06:49] [ LAUGHTER ] [06:51] NOW, DID YOU FOLKS REALLY LAUGH [06:52] AT THAT, OR DID SONY JUST PAY [06:54] YOU TO LAUGH AND APPLAUD [06:54] AT THAT? [06:55] DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING [06:56] ABOUT? [06:56] HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THIS THING [06:58] OVER AT PHONY STUDI -- SONY [06:58] STUDIOS? [06:59] [ LAUGHTER ] [06:59] DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS? [07:00] >> Kevin: NO, NO. [07:01] WHAT'S THAT? [07:03] >> Jay: WELL, SEE, SONY ALREADY [07:04] IN TROUBLE FOR USING FAKE MOVIE [07:05] CRITICS TO PROMOTE THEIR MOVIES(He is talking about "animal"). [07:06] REMEMBER THAT? [07:07] NOW, THEY'VE ADMITTED THEY ALSO [07:09] USED TWO EMPLOYEES TO POSE [07:10] AS MOVIEGOERS IN A COMMERCIAL. [07:12] AND THE LATEST SCANDAL -- [07:13] YOU KNOW THE FAKE BUTTER [07:14] THEY USE IN THE POPCORN? [07:15] >> Kevin: RIGHT, RIGHT. [07:15] >> Jay: IT TURNS OUT IT'S [07:17] ACTUALLY FAKE FAKE BUTTER. [07:18] [ LAUGHTER ] [07:19] >> Kevin: FAKE FAKE BUTTER. [07:21] FAKE BUTTER. [07:22] >> Jay: DO YOU KNOW THIS WHOLE [07:23] THING ABOUT SONY HIRING -- [07:24] REMEMBER, THEY HIRED TWO [07:27] AFRICAN-AMERICANS TO PROMOTE [07:27] THE MOVIE "THE PATRIOT." [07:28] REMEMBER? [07:29] TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A -- [07:31] WELL, IT TURNS OUT NBC HIRED [07:32] SONY STUDIOS TO SHOOT SOME [07:34] COMMERCIALS FOR "THE TONIGHT [07:35] SHOW," UNBEKNOWNST TO ME -- [07:36] REMEMBER, KEV -- IN AN ATTEMPT [07:36] TO REACH OUT TO THE MINORITY [07:37] COMMUNITY. [07:38] REMEMBER THE -- WELL, SHOW THOSE [07:39] COMMERCIALS. [07:39] YOU'LL SEE. [07:41] [ "THE TONIGHT SHOW" [07:42] THEME PLAYS ] [07:43] >> Edd: LISTEN TO WHAT PEOPLE [07:44] ARE SAYING ABOUT "THE TONIGHT [07:45] SHOW WITH JAY LENO." [07:48] >> IT'S THE PERFECT SHOW TO TAKE [07:49] A DATE. [07:50] >> HE'S NOT AS SCARY IN PERSON [07:51] AS HE IS ON TV. [07:53] [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] [07:55] >> IT'S THE FEEL-GOOD MONOLOGUE [07:55] OF THE SUMMER. [07:57] >> I LAUGHED SO MUCH, I WET [07:58] MY PANTS. [07:59] >> HE DID. [08:00] >> JAY LENO? [08:02] [ SPEAKING IN KLINGON ] [08:08] [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] [08:09] [ APPLAUSE ] [08:15] >> Kevin: JAY? [08:17] >> Jay: WHAT'S THAT? [08:18] >> Kevin: I REMEMBER WHEN [08:19] THE KLINGONS WERE HERE. [08:20] BUT I DON'T REMEMBER -- [08:23] [ LAUGHTER ] [08:23] >> Jay: WILL YOU STOP WITH THAT? [08:25] NEVER MIND. [08:26] HEY, GOOD NEWS FOR [08:28] SHARON STONE'S HUSBAND. [08:29] DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS? [08:30] >> Kevin: WHAT'S THAT? [08:31] >> Jay: HE'S STARRING IN A NEW [08:32] MOVIE, "OW, MY LEFT FOOT!" [08:32] [ LAUGHTER ] [08:33] HE'S GOT A NEW MOVIE COMING OUT, [08:34] SHARON STONE'S HUSBAND. [08:36] AND IN A NEW AUTOBIOGRAPHY, [08:38] MELISSA ETHERIDGE SAYS THAT [08:39] SHE AND HER FORMER LIFE PARTNER [08:40] JULIE CYPHER -- DO YOU REMEMBER [08:41] THIS WHOLE STORY? [08:43] SHE SAID THEY FIRST THOUGHT [08:45] OF BRAD PITT AS A SPERM DONOR [08:46] SO THEY COULD HAVE THEIR -- [08:47] YOU KNOW, THEY'RE THE GAY [08:48] COUPLE, THE TWO WOMEN. [08:49] THEY THOUGHT OF BRAD PITT [08:50] AS THE FIRST SPERM DONOR. [08:51] IT MAKES YOU WONDER HOW MANY [08:52] GUYS TURNED THEM DOWN [08:53] BY THE TIME THEY GOT [08:53] TO DAVID CROSBY. [08:54] [ LAUGHTER ] [08:56] "OKAY, MARK HIM OFF. [08:57] MARK HIM OFF. [08:58] WHAT DO WE GOT LEFT?" [08:59] "WE GOT IKE TURNER [09:00] AND DAVID CROSBY." [09:01] [ LAUGHTER ] [09:03] "WHAT DO YOU WANT, BABE? [09:04] YOU GOT TWO GUYS LEFT, IKE [09:05] AND -- [09:05] IKE'S BUSY. [09:06] ALL RIGHT." [09:09] AND THE NEW YORK JETS ANNOUNCED [09:10] THIS WEEK THAT THEY WILL HOLD [09:11] SUMMER PRACTICE AT RIKER'S [09:13] ISLAND PRISON, WHICH MAKES [09:13] SENSE. [09:14] IF YOU CAN'T HAVE THE PLAYERS [09:15] COME TO YOU, HEY, GO [09:15] TO THE PLAYERS. [09:16] THAT'S WHAT I SAY. [09:17] [ LAUGHTER ] [09:19] AND WHAT IS THAT LIKE, [09:20] PRACTICING IN A PRISON? [09:21] [ APPLAUSE ] [09:22] YOU KNOW, THAT'S GOT TO BE [09:22] STRANGE, DON'T YOU THINK? [09:23] >> Kevin: BAD. [09:24] THAT'S SO BAD. [09:25] >> Jay: PRACTICING FOOTBALL [09:26] IN A PRISON YARD? [09:27] LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. [09:28] IF SOMEONE PATS YOU ON THE BUTT [09:29] AFTER A PLAY, YOU MIGHT WANT [09:30] TO CHECK TO BE SURE IT'S [09:30] ACTUALLY A PLAYER, OKAY? [09:31] [ LAUGHTER ] [09:33] OH, HOW ABOUT THIS? [09:34] THIS IS SO STUPID! [09:36] YOU KNOW WHAT THIS FRIDAY IS? [09:38] THIS FRIDAY IS TAKE YOUR DOG [09:38] TO WORK DAY. [09:39] [ LAUGHTER ] [09:41] WHO DREAMED UP THIS IDIOTIC [09:42] IDEA?! [09:43] [ CHEERS ] [09:44] IS THIS A PROBLEM IN AMERICA [09:46] NOW, SUDDENLY, DOGS BEING HELD [09:48] BACK BECAUSE A LACK OF WORKPLACE [09:49] EXPERIENCE, HUH? [09:49] [ LAUGHTER ] [09:50] ARE CANINE-AMERICANS BEING [09:51] DEPRIVED OF THEIR RIGHTS? [09:52] IS THAT WHAT'S HAPPENING? [09:54] AND ACCORDING TO A NEW STUDY, [09:57] 60% OF DOCTORS ADMIT -- [09:58] THEY ADMIT THAT THEY LIE [10:00] TO THEIR SERIOUSLY ILL PATIENTS [10:02] WHEN THE PATIENTS ASK THEM HOW [10:03] LONG THEY HAVE TO LIVE. [10:05] HOW ABOUT THAT? [10:06] IN FACT, IF YOU REALLY WANT [10:07] TO KNOW THE TRUTH, SCHEDULE [10:08] YOUR NEXT APPOINTMENT SIX MONTHS [10:08] FROM NOW. [10:10] IF YOUR DOCTOR GOES, "YEAH, [10:11] RIGHT," THEN YOU KNOW. [10:12] [ LAUGHTER ] [10:18] AND FINALLY, ACCORDING [10:20] TO A RECENT STUDY IN "BRIDE" [10:21] MAGAZINE -- AND THAT'S MY BIBLE, [10:22] KEV. [10:22] YOU SEE ME READING THAT EVERY [10:23] DAY. [10:23] [ LAUGHTER ] [10:24] >> Kevin: OH, YEAH, CONSTANTLY, [10:25] JAY. [10:25] >> Jay: WOMEN WHO ARE ENGAGED [10:28] SAY THEY HAVE SEX ON THE AVERAGE [10:30] OF 2.9 TIMES A WEEK. [10:33] AND THEY SAID THAT .9 IS REALLY [10:33] FRUSTRATING. [10:35] [ LAUGHTER ] [10:37] THAT .9 -- [10:38] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] [10:40] NOW, FOLKS -- [10:41] [ APPLAUSE ] [10:51] AS YOU KNOW -- AS YOU KNOW, [10:52] CALIFORNIA'S IN THE THROES [10:54] OF A MAJOR POWER CRISIS. [10:55] AND AS YOU MAY HAVE HEARD, HERE [10:56] ON "THE TONIGHT SHOW," WE'RE [10:58] DOING OUR PART BY DOING OUR DARK [10:59] SHOW ON THURSDAY NIGHT. [11:00] WE'RE GOING TO DO THE WHOLE SHOW [11:01] WITHOUT ANY ELECTRIC LIGHTS. [11:02] WE'RE USING CANDLES [11:03] AND FLASHLIGHTS TO HELP CONSERVE [11:04] ENERGY. [11:05] BUT WE'RE NOT THE ONLY ONES [11:06] CONSERVING ENERGY. [11:07] NO, NO, NO. [11:08] IN FACT, MANY PEOPLE [11:09] IN OUR AUDIENCE, THE UNSUNG [11:10] HEROES -- THESE PEOPLE ARE DOING [11:12] THEIR PART TO SAVE ENERGY, TOO. [11:13] FOR EXAMPLE, LIKE THIS WOMAN [11:14] RIGHT THERE. [11:17] [ LAUGHTER ] [11:19] THAT'S CHERYL DEMPSEY. [11:21] SHE'S SAVING ENERGY BY PLAYING [11:22] SOLITAIRE ON HER OFFICE COMPUTER [11:23] ONLY SIX HOURS A DAY INSTEAD [11:24] OF EIGHT HOURS A DAY. [11:26] SO SHE'S DOING HER PART RIGHT [11:27] THERE. [11:28] [ APPLAUSE ] [11:34] AND HOW ABOUT THIS MAN RIGHT [11:34] OVER HERE? [11:37] [ LAUGHTER ] [11:39] NOW, THAT GUY, HE'S SAVING [11:40] ENERGY. [11:42] HIS NAME IS LOUIS TROMBOUR, THAT [11:42] MAN. [11:43] HE DRINKS ALL HIS BEER AS SOON [11:44] AS HE GETS IT HOME SO HE DOESN'T [11:45] HAVE TO PLUG IN HIS [11:46] REFRIGERATOR. [11:47] [ LAUGHTER ] [11:48] HE DRINKS ALL HIS BEER RIGHT [11:48] AWAY. [11:49] THERE YOU GO. [11:49] [ APPLAUSE ] [11:56] "HONEY, I'M GOING TO 'THE [11:56] TONIGHT SHOW.' [11:57] I NEED TO BUTTON MY SHIRT? [11:58] NO, I DON'T THINK SO." [11:59] [ LAUGHTER ] [12:02] ALL RIGHT. [12:04] ALL RIGHT, HATS OFF TO THIS [12:06] WOMAN RIGHT OVER HERE. [12:09] THAT'S PHYLLIS CLABBER. [12:11] NOW, SHE RECENTLY SWITCHED [12:12] TO A WOOD-BURNING MICROWAVE [12:13] OVEN. [12:14] GOD BLESS HER, LADIES [12:15] AND GENTLEMEN. [12:15] YES, SIR. [12:16] [ APPLAUSE ] [12:21] AND HOW ABOUT THIS GUY RIGHT [12:22] OVER THERE? [12:23] YEAH, THAT GUY RIGHT THERE. [12:24] YEAH, HIM! [12:25] [ LAUGHTER ] [12:28] THAT'S MIKE DAMON. [12:30] HE SPENDS HIS EVENING WITH ALL [12:31] THE LIGHTS OFF LOOKING [12:32] INTO HIS NEIGHBORS' WINDOWS [12:33] WITH BINOCULARS. [12:34] [ LAUGHTER ] [12:35] WITH THE LIGHTS OFF -- [12:35] [ APPLAUSE ] [12:42] NOW, I DON'T THINK WE WERE FAR [12:43] OFF WITH THAT LAST ONE. [12:44] [ LAUGHTER ] [12:47] AND FINALLY, WE ALL APPLAUD [12:48] THE CONSERVATION EFFORTS OF THIS [12:49] MAN RIGHT HERE. [12:51] THERE YOU GO, LADIES [12:51] AND GENTLEMEN. [12:53] DIDN'T I SEE THAT GUY IN "A [12:54] KNIGHT'S TALE"? [12:55] [ LAUGHTER ] [12:57] NO, THAT'S JOEY LAMONT, LADIES [12:58] AND GENTLEMEN. [12:58] HE SAVES ENERGY BECAUSE [13:00] HE NO LONGER WASTES ENERGY [13:01] BY REWINDING PORNO VIDEOS BEFORE [13:02] RETURNING THEM. [13:04] [ LAUGHTER ] [13:04] THAT'S RIGHT. [13:05] THERE YOU GO RIGHT THERE. [13:06] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] [13:07] FOLKS -- [13:09] [ APPLAUSE ] [13:11] WE GOT A GREAT SHOW TONIGHT. [13:13] MY FIRST GUEST JUST COACHED [13:14] THE L.A. LAKERS TO BACK-TO-BACK [13:16] NBA CHAMPIONSHIPS, LADIES [13:17] AND GENTLEMEN. [13:18] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] [13:19] A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK HE'S [13:20] THE BEST COACH EVER. [13:21] PHIL JACKSON IS HERE. [13:22] PHIL JACKSON. [13:24] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] [13:33] AND I LOVE THIS NEXT GIRL. [13:34] I THINK SHE'S GREAT. [13:35] SHE WENT FROM WORKING [13:36] AT TOYS "R" US TO STARRING [13:37] IN A PRIZE-WINNING MOVIE CALLED, [13:38] "GIRLFIGHT." [13:39] SHE'S NOW IN A NEW MOVIE CALLED, [13:40] "THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS." [13:41] THIS IS A GREAT CAR MOVIE. [13:42] IF YOU'RE A CAR GUY -- SEE, [13:44] I LIKE -- THIS IS A GIRL THAT [13:44] CAN THROW A PUNCH, KEV. [13:45] YOU KNOW? [13:46] >> Kevin: OH, YEAH? [13:46] >> Jay: I NEED A GIRL THAT CAN [13:47] PROTECT ME IN A BAR FIGHT. [13:48] SHE CAN TAKE CARE OF YOU. [13:49] MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ IS HERE. [13:49] MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ. [13:51] THERE SHE IS, RIGHT THERE. [13:52] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] [13:56] AND PERFORMING SOLO, A GUY [13:57] YOU KNOW FROM JANE'S ADDICTION [13:58] AND THE RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS -- [13:59] DAVE NAVARRO IS HERE. [14:00] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] [14:01] DAVE NAVARRO. [14:02] BE RIGHT BACK WITH "BADLY NAMED [14:03] PRODUCTS." [14:03] SAY HELLO TO KEVIN EUBANKS [14:05] AND "THE TONIGHT SHOW BAND." [14:06] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 본 서비스는 (주)빅셀에서 제공합니다. 이 자막이 포함된 MP3화일은(주)빅셀의 Englab 을 이용하여 만들었습니다. EngLab을 구입하시면 여러분이 자막을 컴퓨터에 저장할 수 있습니다. http://www.vixell.com/