……brought to you by the American Duct Tape Council …..and here is Cynthia Maxwell.

SS: I am a fabulously beautiful person who happens to live in a, like, totally disgusting apartment, and when I get tired of all the negative energy and, like, my chakra gets itself all in a bunch, I take a little silver bell and go from room to room and ring it and, like, break up all the stagnant forces and I, like, take a pinch of salt ---- because salt is a grounding element, an earth element ---- and I turn clockwise and hum a cleansing hum and throw the salt over my shoulder. Then I, like, put some spring water in a little bowl with lavender in it and I sprinkle drops of water into the corners and under the bed and behind the couch as a way to, like, invite the cleansing spirit of the universe and then I get out some big strips of duct tape and I whip them around under the bed and they're, like, these beautiful strips of positive energy and they pull in all the negative forces and the bigger dust balls, and then I do my makeup and I go out to dinner.

GK: Cynthia Maxwell for duct tape, duct tape it's the only thing that works sometimes (DUCKS)….a message from the American Duct Tape Council.

(c) 2001 by Garrison Keillor