(GK: Garrison Keillor; TK: Tom Keith; SS: Sue Scott: TR: Tim Russell)

GK: Mr. President, good to have you with us today…..

TR (BUSH): Hey. No problem. I was out driving around anyway, out here in …in the….in…

GK: Virginia.

TR (BUSH): Right, and I turned down the road and here you were.

GK: You were out driving around by yourself??

TR (BUSH): Do it all the time. Get out the Caddie ---

GK: The Secret Service lets you go wandering around alone?

TR (BUSH): I just mosey out the front door, they don't pay it no mind. Hop in the car, and off I go.

GK: I wonder who they think is President.

TR (BUSH): I don't get you…

GK: Why don't you like to go driving around, Mr. President?

TR (BUSH): It's how I think about stuff, getting behind the wheel.

GK: Uh huh. And what have you been thinking today?

TR (BUSH): Been thinking that if we raise the speed limit to a hundred or a hundred and fifty, it'd do a lot to eliminate traffic congestion. Don't it just stand to reason? Get those cars moving to where they're going to stead of standing still.

GK: That's a big jump from 55.

TR (BUSH): Hey. Speaking of that, I turned 55 yesterday. Big day. The double nickel, we call it. Quite a day. Yes, sir. My wife gave me a book and everything.

GK: Fifty-five is a little higher than your approval rating right now.

TR (BUSH): Well, you don't need a majority to get elected, you know. All you need is Sandra Day O'Connor and about twenty thousand really confused senior citizens in Florida.

GK: Good point. You went golfing for your birthday?

TR (BUSH): Went with my family. Me and Dad. Old No. 41. And when we got to the clubhouse my daughters were already there waiting for me. And in a very good mood, I might add.

GK: Sounds nice. How's Vice-President Cheney coming along?

TR (BUSH): Hey, no problem. Got himself a pacemaker. No problem.

GK: A pacemaker is fairly serious though.

TR (BUSH): Hey --- every so often during cabinet meetings, whatever, somebody used to have to go over and pound on his chest --- this could be a real time saver.

GK: You don't think his heart disease will keep him from doing his job?

TR (BUSH): Part of his job is to attend funerals. So maybe one day he shows up for work early. No big deal.

GK: Okay. You take it easy driving back to Washington. And when you get to them the White House --- you got a picture ID you can show em?

TR (BUSH): Got it right here.

GK: Thanks, Mr. President….

© Garrison Keillor 2001