You know your an Arab if...

• You say "bolice" and "bastor" for "police" and "pastor."
• You inherited or will inherit land in your country.
• You brag about your kids even if they are bad.
• Your spouse is also your first cousin.
• You're fat and blame it on the kids, or you're bald and blame it on thestress.
• Your aunt asks you when she can dance at your wedding.
• You smoke as if it were your last day on earth...and you only smoke Marlboro.
• You think its cool to dance and smoke at the same time.
• You wear more cologne than deodorant.
• You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
• You pronounce "comfortable" cun-fort-a-bull.
• You say the letter "h" like "etch."
• You put olive oil in and on everything and brag about how healthy it is.
• You gossip about your own family...with members of your own family.
• You have more then 4 kids.
• You cook a meal that lasts 3 days.
• You pity anyone who is not an Arab and think all other cultures are morally corrupt.
• You have fruit trees in your backyard and when they are in season you live on them.
• You don't use the word "tease" in English cause you feel weird.
• Your father swears at you with words that effect himself (Ibnil Kalb).
• You have 500,000,000 cousins.
• Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
• At weddings it takes the bride and groom 4 hoursto kiss all the guests.
• You "get down" from the car instead of "getting out" of it.
• You have a gold necklace of your name written in Arabic.
• Your middle name is your father's first name.
• If you are male, you're named after your grandfather or great-grandfather.
• You play cards till the break of dawn.
• You can't have a meal without bread.
• You never run out of bizzer.
• You get offended when Americans call Arabic bread "Pita bread"
• If you are an Arab woman, you dye your hair an obviously fake shade of blonde that is nonexistent in nature and swear that it's natural.
• You feel proud when someone famous or a celebrity has any Arabic blood in them.
• You teach your American friends Arabic word (mostly bad ones) and get happy when they use them in normal conversations.
• Your Mom has a creative nickname for you like "Natoosheh," or "Tuntooneh."
• You have a difficult Arabic name so you come up with an Americanized version of it like "Sam" or "Mike."
• You have someone tell you your fortune through your coffee cup.
• You love Um Kalthoom and if you don't, your dad makes you listen to her and tries to translate the words into English so you can appreciate her as much as he does.
• Three or more relatives live in your neighborhood.
• If you're a single Arab guy, you tell women you're a "successful businessman" or that you "own a successful business back home" even if you're an unemployed goat herder.
• You get really happy and call the whole family to the room when there is a special or documentary on Arabs or anything Arabic related on CNN or PBS.
• You use church as a social ground to meet potential wives/husbands
• You have a uni-brow...and if you don't, you pluck it.
• You bump Arabic music at all times