SEPTEMBER 11, 2001
Howard: "This is our worst nightmare.  We knew this was going to happen one day and it happened."       
          Howard broadcasts live from New York every weekday morning and this day was no exception.  In the beginning, Howard played voicemail messages about Hank The Drunken Dwarf's death (he died on 9/4/01), listened to song parodies of Afroman's "Because I Got High" and discussed Michael Jackson's concert that aired the previous night.  The upbeat tone quickly changed once everyone got word that the first plane crashed into the World Trade Center.  Everyone was goofing on Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock when Howard interrupted with:  "This is a breaking news story. A serious news story.  A plane has crashed into the World Trade Center."  Robin exclaimed,  "You're kidding!"  They were on the phone with Howard's stylist, Ralph Cirillo, who ran up to his roof to see what was going on.  Producer Gary Dell'Abate quipped that he hoped it was not a terrorist attack.  They thought it was not a huge story, joked a little and got back to the Pamela Anderson talk.  Moments later, everyone in the studio became glued to the television coverage of the attack and news footage was broadcast as Howard and the crew commented.  Howard admitted that he was scared once there was word of a second plane crashing.  He said, "We're under attack.  We're under attack...We're at war.  Who are we at war with?" 
           Show regulars who were on the streets of New ?York began calling in.  Joey Boots told of the explosions that occurred and said the planes disappeared into the buildings.  Joey exclaimed, "It's them towelhead bastards!  It's about time we take these towelhead bastards and throw them out of the damn country!  We're too nice to people, man...I've got alotta freinds that work in that building and I'm sitting here watching it burning right now."  The whole crew said they know people who work in the WTC and Gary said his wife used to work there.  After a commercial break, they found out that the Pentagon had been attacked.  Crazy Cabbie called up in tears and said, "We keep guys like Osama Bin Laden around because we need enemies.  We need a reason to bulld bombs."  He told everyone that he was at the top of his building with binoculars and could see people jumping from the burning WTC.  Sirens could be heard as Cabbie spoke.  Dominic Barbera called in and said that most of the local New York TV stations had been knocked out, since their towers were on the top of the WTC.  Then, the unthinkable happened.  The first tower collapsed and Howard, Robin and the crew gasped in horror.  Howard said he did not think he should be on the air, but decided to stay on to comfort people all over the country.  He told anyone on his staff to leave if they needed to, but they stayed because there was nowhere to go.  Stern kept speaking with Cabbie and watched TV for the latest updates.  As the second tower fell, an anchor said, "Oh my God."  Howard got more upset the more he thought about terrorism.  He said, "As soon as you hear of terrorism going on, you blow up the whole goddamn country!"  Gary wondered how he would ever explain this to his young son.
After the attacks, Howard Stern asked each of his listeners to donate $5 to help the victims families.  He raised almost $4 million with The Howard Stern Show Relief Fund and presented Mayor Rudy Giuliani with a check on October 12, 2001.
9-15-2001  Trying to Weigh Anna Nicole Smith Before Anna came on the show, Howard said that she acts like she is on drugs and said she gained a lot of weight.  Anna was upset with Howard throughout the interview, but was soon harassed by everyone.  Stuttering John told Anna Nicole Smith to get on a scale to weigh herself and Benjy got pissed.  He jumped up and ran toward Stuttering John saying he was going to fight him.  Three crew members had to hold Benjy back and carry him back to his seat!  Howard then tried to bribe Anna by saying he would give her money to get on the scale, but she never weighed herself on the show.  She did admit to weighing at least 230 lbs.
1-29-2003   Crazy Cabbie Reunites With Mom Howard Stern regular and DJ Crazy Cabbie never met his mother, but Howard always promised him he would reunite them and did so on this episode.  Cabbie's girlfriend sat next to him before the big moment and Cabbie even began to cry right before mom came out.  Howard wasted no time in bringing his mother, Audrey, out and they quickly hugged and kissed when they met.   The crew noteds how they had the same facial structure and Cabbie gave her some flowers.  Audrey revealed that she gave him up after she was empregnated by a married man, but she said she spent an hour with him before she gave him up to Catholic Charities.  Audrey told him she is from Minnesota and after the show they both said, "Don't fuck with Minnesota!"
7-29-2003  Arresting Television  Jody was mixed in with two actors who all said they were under house arrest and wearing beepers.  Stern and the crew had to guess who was really under house arrest.  Jody came forward and admitted that she used to use and deal tons of heroin.  She said that she would be in trouble with her parole officer if he knew about her appearance, but appearing on the show was more important.  Jody explained that she could face up to two years in jail for being there.  As they were talking, Howard took a call from her parole officer who angrily said he wanted to talk to Gary, the producer.  Jody said she was worried about getting arrested.  At the end of the show, it was announced that Jody had been arrested after her appearance and was brought back to county lock-up.
9-9-2003   Beetlejuice's Surprise Announcement Beetlejuice came on saying he had a huge surprise, but forgot what it was.  Finally, Stern found out that he was engaged to be married to a Puerto Rican dwarf, Babyjuice.  She came out, flashed Stern and showed off her engagement ring.  It was also revealed that Bettle was trying to get her pregnant, which concerned everyone because Beetle is a retarded dwarf.  Stern was skeptical about the marriage, so he had Benji flirt with Babyjuice to see if Beetle would get jealous.  Beetle got mad and would not talk much for the rest of the show.

Homeless Jeopardy  Charlie and two other homeless men played "Homeless Jeopardy" for a chance to win $10,000 and Charlie won.  Before leaving for a shopping spree, Charlie taught Howard how to play the drums on buckets...Cameras followed Charlie as he went on a shopping spree in New York.  First, he bought a beer and then he got serious by purchasing clothes and shoes.  Then he made a dream come true by getting a hotel room complete with drum set for the night.  He thanked Howard for treating him to the good life.
"Playmate Performs Acoustic" Stacy Rucker, a sexy Playboy model, sang "Give Me More Howard Stern," a song she wrote for Howard.  Too bad she couldn't sing for anything and everyone laughed at her.
Mother Love  She appeared on the show to talk about how she was being replaced by Robin Givens on "Forgive or Forget."  During the interview, Robin called in, which pissed Mother Love off.
Record Breaker  Fereda said she was so beautiful that she could be a model.  She almost cried when Stern called her fat.  However, she did have something that could be benefitial to her career: the largest breasts in the country.  The Guiness Book of World Records said her size "I" chest was the largest in the country.  Stern and the crew were amazed when she took her bra off.  Fereda's husband, Hanz, was proud.
FALL 2000 - FALL 2001
"Handicapped Star Search"  hilarious two-parter that featured handicapped contestants competing for the title of best handicapped talent.  The winner was a comedian with CP.  A gay man with CP and a wheelchair-bound man who spoke through a computer were also featured.  Elephant boy and the man with the world's biggest feet were among the judges for the event.
Waz Up Guys  Eric The Stutter, Beetlejuice and other memebers of Stern's wack pack did a hilarious rendition of the waz up guys.
"Stuttering John At Miracle House"  Stern sent Stuttering John to a woman's house where a window supposedly displayed tan image of the Virgin Mary if you looked at it at the right angle.  John was talking to people on the streets when a crazy passer-by took his phone and tossed it on the ground.  He broke the phone and ran off before they could find out who he was.
"Taxidermy Daughter"  Anthony came on the show to discuss how he stuffed his daughter after she died at 14-years-old.  He wheeled a corpse that he claimed was his dead daughter onto the show for everyone to look at.  He told Stern that he gave her implants after she died so it looks like she is aging.  Everyone laughed him off the show, but Anthony was glad that he was able to speak about taxidermy.
"Little Hercules"  The story of an 8-year-old boy who can bench-press 200 lbs.  His dad tauight him karate and he once kicked a 12-year-olds ass when he was only 6!
"Stripper Jeopardy:  Parts 1 & 2"  This was a hilarious set of episodes where New York strippers answered easy questions in a Jeopardy-like fashion, while competing for $10,000.  None of the girls ever made it out of the negative dollar amounts.  The first show was hilarious because Howard kept bitching about was going wrong with his show that day.  For example, one of the stripper's headsets wasn't working, so Howard pissed and moaned at the crew.
"Tara Vomits On Jeff"  Jeff has an odd sex fetish, which he talks to his therapist about.  Him and the therapist came on the show with a woman named Tara to discuss his wierd fetish.  It turns out that Jeff loves to be vomitted on by women.  Tara threw up on him on the show!  Jeff got all excited, while the Stern crew almost threw up themselves!
Sideshow Freaks  A freaky guy and his two female assistants came on to show Howard the insane stuff they could do with their bodies.  The guy took a popcorn seed, snorted it up his nose and made it pop out his eye!  He also ate a lightbulb, which made his mouth bleed.  Later, one of his lady assistants hung a heavy staple gun from a chain that was attached to her privates!
"Vivian Guzman Lie Detector"  Moral Court's court reporter said she has a crush on Howard and wouldn't mind sleeping with him.  The sexy Latina woman was hooked up to a lie detector to see if she was telling the truth.  After some hilarious questioning, it was revealed that she DID have a crush on him and she WOULD sleep with him.  Vivian  then gave him a special Moral Court gavel so Stern would always remember her. 
"Elliott Offen & Daughter"  Elliott is an outrageous self-proclaimed fitness expert who often come on the show dressed in drag.  He wears tight clothes and maek-up, while screaming and making a scene about how cool he is.  He appeared in normal attire for this show because he had to confront a masked woman, Karen,  who claimed she was his daughter.  Elliott didn't believe she was his daughet even though she had a birth certificate and I.D.
"Hank Plays R 'n' R Trivia"  Sugar Ray's Mark McGrath and Hank The Drunken Dwarf went head-to-head for a game of rock-and-roll trivia.  Hank took the lead in the beginning, and Mark couldn't believe that he was losing, especially since he was a champsion of Rock-and-Roll Jeopardy.   In the end, Mark won the game.
"Gary Busey Wrestles Howard!"  Actor Gary Busey appeared for no apparent reason since his career is over, but managed to cause trouble.  He told about how he used to be a womanizer and how the Promise Keepers saved him.  Things got wild when he started smoking a cigar and ran behind Howard's equipment to tease the host.  Busey even threatened to pour coffee on his equipment.  It was all done in good fun and they knew he was kidding.  During the break, he gave Robin a big hug and wrestled her to the ground.  She ran from the studio laughing and Busey then wrestled Howard.
"Jon Looks Like A Kid & Melissa"  Jonathan was born with a rare aging disease that made him look like he was 12 years old, although he was 26.  A listener named Melissa called in and said she'd have sex with him.  Howard brought her in the next day and she flipped out!  She cried and said he looked like a puppet and refused to have sex with him because he was so young looking.  The next day, Jon got lucky because a stripper, Ashley,  who was engaged called and said she would have sex with him.  The Jon and Ashley "did it" in about 12 minutes and Jon said it would always be a memorable experience.  
Kendra Vomits On Jeff  Kendra is a porn star who would do anything to meet The Rock.  Jeff loves it when girls throw up on him.  Kendra Jade threw up all over Jeff so she could meet The Rock.  Stern's crew was grossed out by what happened, but Jeff said he loved it.  Kendra Jade met The Rock as she was promissed.
FALL 2001 - FALL 2002
Interview With Paul McCartney  Howard and the crew were in awe as he interviewed the Beatles legend.  Paul told of how he had found a new woman, Heather, since the death of his wife.  He said he asked his wife if it was okay and an owl cried, showing him she approved.  McCartney also spoke about how Michael Jackson bought his songs out fom under him AND how he does not like it when Oasis compared themselves to the Beatles.  McCartney even got a chance to meet special guest, Ozzy Ozzborne,  for the first time.
Hi-Pitch Eric Runs From A Fish  Hi-Pitch wanted to spin the "Wheel Of Sex" so he could win an X Box.  The 33-pound Eric came out wearing a thong and told the crew how he was afraid of fish.  They took advantage of the situation and taunted Eric with fish.  He screamed, "Nooooooooooooooooo," as the guys waved fish in his face.  Howard told him he had to stick one down his pants to win, but he refused.  Eric did not win the prize and was chased down the hall with fish!
Wack Pack Craziness:  Hi-Pitch is Still Afraid of Fish  Fred the Elephant Boy wanted to win an X Box, so he spun the "Wheel of Sex" and had to paint Hi-Pitch Eric's privates green.  Fat, nasty Hi-Pitch came out in a thong and took it off, only to reveal an uncricumsized penis.  All of the crew members were disgusted.  The guys continued to harass Eric with a fish after his painting, but he still refused to put one down his pants.  Eric did not get the X Box he wanted and ran from the studio because he was scared.  Of course, Fred got the game system because he did his dare.
Porn Star and Her Retarded Mom  Mary Carey brought her slow mom, Judy, and her grandmother on to tell them she was a porn star.  They did not seem to mind, so then Howard hooked Judy up on a date with Gary the Retard.  Cameras went on the date with them and things went well until after breakfast.  Judy got angry and said she did not like Gary and he wasn't her type.  She was mostly upset because Gary seemed more interested in her porn star daughter.  They called into the show and Judy told Howard that she had "never been so humiliated in her life."  --FYI--  Mary Carey ran for Governor of California in 2003.
Las Vegas Week 2002 
Stern has made it a tradition to spend time in Las Vegas during the first week of sweeps.  Here's some highlights from this years shows:
Monday (2-11-02): Porn star Jenna Jamison and Gary the Retard got tickled by a tickling expert.  Jamison agreed to mess around with a woman from the audience.  Tuesday  (2-12-2002):  Jenna Jamison gave audience woman a half-naked massage.  Porn star Tabitha Stevens is set up on a date with Shawn, a man who had not had sex in over 7 years.  Wednesday  (2-13-2002): Wack Pack member Joe Cancer, a constant smoker, came on and revealed that his cancer came back and said the doctor he told him he had one month to live.  Howard & the crew noticed a difference in his voice and thought this would be their last interview together.  Joe said he was not going to die and won $2,500 after playing a hand of Blackjack.  Monday (2-18-2002):  Gary the Retard got lucky because he got a kiss (with tongue) from a stripper so she could win $2,500.  She went out with Gary after the show and gave him a naked lap dance.  Tuesday  (2-19-2002):  Queen for a Day went down with a disgusting guy who wore a diaper because he can't control himself.  He showed everyone his diaper and then reached in it and grabbed some poo!  Stern made him get cleaned up offstage.  The winner of Queen for a Day was a woman whose daughter was dying.  She played for a $100,000 bet, but lost.  However, the hotel gave her $5,000 because they felt bad for her.
Elegant Elliot Offen Fakes A Girlfriend  Wack pack member Elegant Elliott Offen came on wearing a red dress and make-up but brought a woman who he swore was his girlfriend.  Nadia laughed as she defended him during the show, so Howard & the gang knew something was up.  They thought that she was not his girlfriend and that he put her up to it.  After Elliott brought her out to the hallway, he was able to convince her to kiss him.  Robim said it looked like a rape!  After the show, Howard's camera's caught up with Nadia who said he paid her $900 to go along with the scam.
Howard and The PETA Girls  Stern welcomed three women from PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), who were wearing lettuce outfits, to the show.  They called for compassion when dealing with animals, so Howard decided to se how far they would go to save animals.  Howard threatened to kill 250 mealworms, unless two of the girls kissed, so they did as he wished.  He also said he would kill a fish and a lobster if the girls did not engage in lesbianism, so he got them to take off their tops and kiss.  Later on, cameras followed them as two of the ladies painted themselves like tigers and sat naked in cages in Times Square to protest the treatment of tigers in circuses.
The Most Disgusting Guest EVER!  Neil looked like a normal guy, but he was really a freak!  He had spent time with dogs and discovered a way to determine the breed of dog by looking at their poop.  The crew brought in some bags of dog crap and he tried to identify what kind of dog it came from.  Everyone was disgusted by his stunt, but things got even worse when he held the plates of poo up to his face to smell them!  Howard told Neil he had to eat the crap if he didn't guess the right dog, but Howard did not go through with the plan because it was too nasty.
Robin Quivers - newswoman who always talks to Howard and the guests; dating her boyfriend for years and still is not married
Gary Dell'Abate
- producer of the show who is called "Baa Baa Booey;" has horse-like teeth
Fred Norris - controls sounds effects and has been with the show forever; him and his wife had a new baby, Tess, in fall 2002
Artie Lange - newest member of the show's crew; makes hilarious comments; extremely funny when he speaks Italian
Crazy Cabbie - WXRK show host; has a ton of tatooes; lost a lot of weight thanks to Trim Spa; reunited with mother on the show Dominic Barbera - lawyer and friend of Howard; often teased because of his weight; called in with updates on 9/11
Beetlejuice -member of the wack pack;  dwarf who loves women; smokes and drinks; real name:  Lester Green
High Pitch Eric - very fat guy with a high-pitched voice; deathly afraid of fish; can't get it up when porn stars try to arouse him
Hank the Drunken Dwarf - alcholic dwarf; member of the wack pack; he died after he had a seizure on September 4, 2001
Nicole Bass - former WWF wrestler who looks and sounds like a man; lost a lawsuit against the WWF in 2002
        Howard Stern got his start in radio at several low-budget stations.  He picked up Robin Quivers and has been broadcasting ever since.   Stern is called the "king of all media" because he has been successful in all media, including radio, TV and movies.  Howard had a syndicated weekly show called "The Howard Stern Radio Show" that lasted for three seasons, ending in 2002.  Stern even had a weekly mock beack show called "Son of the Beach," which aired once a week on the FX newtork for a few years.  He also showed movie critics who is boss when his movie based on his life, "Howard Stern:  Private Parts," got huge numbers at the box office.  "Private Parts" also features show regulars such as Robin Quivers and Fred Norris.  Stern took his radio show to E! for several years.  This page recalls the best moments from the E! show, which ended in 2005.  Stern is no nstranger to controversy.  Over the years he's been constantly criticized and even suspended.  The last straw came in 2004, when his show came under fire for its content.  Media outlets were scared after Janet Jackson flashed her breast at the Super Bowl and were afraid of anything that pushed the envelope. As a result, Stern was pulled from all of his Infinity radio stations.  Tired of the censorship, Stern announced he would leave terrestrial radio in December 2005 after his contract ran out.  He did just that, moving to the uncensored world of Sirius satellite radio in January 2006.  His show can still be seen on TV.  It airs uncensored for subscribers of In Demand cable.
Listen to Howard every morning on Sirius 100 from 6-11AM/EST.  The show repeats at 9PM/EST.
Highlights from the E! show
Check out The Daily Edition, a great new media blog with articles about the Stern show. CLICK HERE